Disclaimer: I don't own Inu and Ran-chan, so go away! And no, I don't own Starbucks or a Benz or anything else I mentioned. I can only suffer alone, but if you have chocolate… Sharing is caring!

Camp of the Chaotics

Parody Chapter: A Day at Fluffy's Salon

Author's Note:

Oops. A little late, aren't I? Sorry! Anyway, thanks for all the reviews and everything! I enjoyed them very much! Thank you, thank you! I am so loved! I still need more! I have this great inspiration thing for the next chapter, but if I don't get enough reviews… That doesn't matter (it does). Well, come enjoy a little story written to humor you (and me)!

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BAM!

Sesshoumaru awoke with his face on the floor. He groaned, already feeling sore.

'Great way the start the morning. Well, at least it's not as bad as seeing Jaken's face staring at mine when I wake.'

He got up and walked into his bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror. 'Yay. I look like crap. I swear, if that fall makes me bruise, someone's going to have to remove a body…!'

He rubbed his hand through his hair. Sesshoumaru decided that a shower would brighten him up.

Sesshoumaru opened the door to his shower. He yelled in surprise, clutching his chest.

There, stood Jaken, full in his green glory, staring at his idol.

"WHY THE FUCKIN' HELL ARE YOU IN HERE?!" he yelled, so loud that a few birds flew from off his window ledge.

Jaken whimpered. "I was just waiting for you, Lord Sesshoumaru!"

"Why. Are. You. In. My. Shower." He said in his deadly voice, silence in between each word.

"B-because M'Lord, y-you were sleeping and I didn't want to disturb ye and…" his voice faded.

"Jaken… do me a favor," Sesshoumaru said, suddenly brightening up.

"What, M'Lord?" Jaken asked. Anything to stop the death glare.

"GET OUTTA MY HOUSE!" he roared.

"Yes, M'Lord! Anything M'Lord! Just for you, M'Lord!" Jaken stammered.

Sesshoumaru groaned. "Just get out!" He rubbed his temple and closed his eyes.

Jaken left, his heavily footsteps clattering the already 'busy' morning.

Sesshoumaru threw off his clothes (A/N: He sleeps in his boxers. Yum. I wanna eat him! :p) and walked into the shower. (A/N: Yum. I'd like to order a nice fresh Sesshoumaru with an Inu Yasha on the side, please! And a Diet Pepsi to go with it!)

After a refreshing rinse, he walked out of the shower and dried himself. After finding a fresh suit and putting it on, he carefully started to comb his long hair.

'YAY. Another day at work. What better things can I ask for?' he thought 'happily'.

He got his keys, went outside, and locked the door of his house. He walked to the garage, where his shiny black Benz (A/N: I want it! Okay, I'm starting to annoy people. Sorry!) was parked.

He unlocked the doors and went inside. Slamming the door a little harder than was needed, he began to back up.

On his way to work, he spotted a local Starbucks. 'Yes! Something with caffeine would cheer me up. ' Instantly, he parked the Benz and went inside. Coming back out with an extra-large Expresso, he was feeling a little bit better.

When he finally got to work, there were already a few women waiting their for him.

"Good morning Mr. Sesshoumaru!" a young, female cashier said as he entered the neat and clean salon.

He nodded 'Hello' towards what he thought was a naïve co-worker.

She blushed happily and continued working.

Sesshoumaru went into his office and sat down at his desk. He began working.

It hadn't been an hour when he heard a sudden shriek.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR?!" a feminine voice screamed.

"I-I'm sorry, Ma'am, but c-can I ask what I did wrong? P-perhaps I can fix the problem!" another, quieter voice stammered. Sesshoumaru recognized one of his best workers, Arashi's, voice.

"This. Piece. Of. Hair. Is. Out. Of. Place. Explain. Yourself." The voice was softer this time, but still as deadly.

'Oh. No. Not this. Anything but not this.' Sesshoumaru grimaced.

It was only 9:00 in the morning and already there was a woman with PMS (A/N: My friends and I forgot what this stood for, so we made up our own definition: Pissed Male Slapping. Cute, right?). Not good. Not good at all.

He massaged his temples and went outside.

He flashed a charming grin. "What can I do for you, M'Lady?" he asked in a syrupy voice.

The middle-aged woman with light brown hair blushed. "Oh, nothing! Nothing at all! Everything is a right as rain!"

Arashi looked confused. "But, Ma'am, I thought you said-"

"You're arguing with me! You all argue with me! Why can't you let the past go and stop arguing at me?" she said, suddenly bursting out.

Mentally, Sesshoumaru groaned. He had the woman just where he wanted her, and this… fool, pushed her aside.

"M'Lady-" he started.

The woman interrupted him. "Oh? So you're arguing with me, too? Stop it! STOP being so mean to me!" She burst out in tears.

This time, Sesshoumaru groaned out loud. Twice in a week! He shook his head and walked over to the bawling woman. He put his arm around her should and comfortingly patted her shoulder. "It's alright, Ma'am. It's all going to be okay."

The woman pushed away from Sesshoumaru's arms. "No it's not! I don't have and Midol!"

Sesshoumaru looked around for his employees. "Midol anyone?" he asked.

Arashi, looking relieved that she could do something, quickly fetched her purse and handed him a bottle.

The weeping woman saw the bottle and jumped for joy. "THANK YOU!" She quickly opened it and swallowed some pills.

Now, happier than ever, she hugged the exasperated Sesshoumaru and paid for her haircut, giving Arashi an extra tip.

Sesshoumaru sighed. "Okay everyone, back to their jobs."

"YES, MR. SESSHOUMARU SIR!" they all called back.

Finally, at 12:00, LUNCH BREAK!

"One hour lunch break!" Sesshoumaru yelled.

The workers walked out, smiling and chattering.

'Finally! Peace and quiet!' he thought.

Suddenly, an ugly face popped up.

"Lord Sesshoumaru! 'Tis I, your faithful servant, Jaken!"

Sesshoumaru wanted to fall down and cry. Instead, he glared.

"Jaken, go away."

"Okay Lord Sesshoumaru!" He made no move to leave.

"Now."

"Okay!"

"GO!" Sesshoumaru bellowed.

Jaken scuttled away.

Settling down, Sesshoumaru sat and turned on the TV… to his favorite soap.

In minutes, he was weeping and sniveling. "No! John! You mustn't sleep with Jackie! She slept with your brother's wife's cousin's neighbor's dog walker's boyfriend!"

Soon, his workers were back, along with some clients.

They, too, started watching the soap and crying.

"No! Don't do it!" was a common comment.

At 4:00, the soaps ("The decent ones.") were over.

Sesshoumaru gathered his stuff and prepared to go home. Yet another day for a hard working single man!

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Okay! Finally finished the chapter! Must get more reviews for me to update!

Responses to Reviews:

Karisu: Wow! I can't believe you like chapters even if they are short! I try to write longer chapters, but hey, my attention span is so short, I lose interest very fast. I do, however, to make them have as much good stuff as I can! Thank you very much!

Tatsu: I feel so loved every time I read your reviews! Thanks so much! And, ah, Tatsu-chan? You killed your teachers! LOL!

Lil washu: MONEY! To get paid to do something I love… that's a dream come true! Best chapter yet? Really? You really think the last chapter was good? Thank you!

Aaliyah: You know, I probably love writing shot-outs as much as you probably love this story! Hehe. I will!

Julia-Tears: YAY! Review from one of my most faithful readers! I can't wait for the beta read (as I have told you for the millionth time!)! You'll like the revenge part, though… Kuku…

Lonely Angel of Sadness: Okay, and I thought I was a bit insane! Bit, of course, being an understatement! Albino spiders? I have two friends who have arachnophobia and I like scaring them. Hehe.