Hey there, people – the second chapter is here!! And if the plot isn't apparent just yet – well, what's the point in giving the game away too quickly? To those who reviewed – ooh, thank you!! Remember, suggestions are welcome!
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha – and if you try to sue me, you'll get zip. I'm just a poor little uni student….woe is me.
Oh yeah, as always, " "is speaking, ' 'is thinking, italics are flashbacks and/or dream sequences. Ok?
Choice and Consequence
Chapter 2: Advice From a Houshi
Smoke obscured her vision, choking her. From somewhere in the distance she heard an outraged scream:
"KAZE NO KIZU!"
Inuyasha…She felt she had to find him, to help him if she could. But for some reason she couldn't move. An explosion rocked the ground beneath her feet. A harsh gust of wind momentarily cleared the thick haze from in front of her, giving her an unobstructed view of what was happening.
Inuyasha – lying tossed in a heap, just barely moving.
Miroku – braced up against a shattered wall, his shakujou broken clean in half.
Sango – crouched down halfway between Miroku and Inuyasha, clearly unsure of who to run towards.
There were other people in the area, but their faces were indistinct and blurry. Without warning the whole scene was obliterated by a roaring, swirling wall of flame. And close by was the unmistakable presence of…Kikyou. The miko who was trying to kill her…and Inuyasha.
She awoke with a start – someone was shaking her arm. "Kyaaa!"
Inuyasha had been resting in a tree near Kaede's hut. He was unwilling to leave the group unguarded, no matter how unwelcome he was now. He rubbed his head absent-mindedly, wincing as he did so. The bumps that those two had given him had healed by now, but that didn't make the memory of getting them any less painful.
But then again, he had deserved it.
Yet again, he thought back over Kagome's unexpected arrival that day. When she had first appeared in the well clearing, his spirits had lifted so high that he could have sworn he was flying…and then she had brought him crashing back down to earth with a very painful 'thud'. He had expected her to be angry with him – waited for her to 'sit' him so many times that he'd never climb out of the crater he'd made – but she hadn't done it. That in itself was ample cause for worry. And if not anger, then tears – oh, yes, he'd definitely been expecting those. The stupid girl usually cried at the drop of a hat, he mused. Then he stopped short when he remembered that he was usually the cause of those tears…ugh.
But what he had seen was complete and utter …rejection.
She had chosen not to openly acknowledge what had happened (well, not at first, anyway). Instead, she had acted almost as though he didn't even exist. Now this development was definitely something he didn't like. She had brushed past him like he wasn't even there; and those cold eyes had really scared him witless. It just wasn't the Kagome he knew and…and…loved.
He had to admit it – this was something beyond friendship. After all, if Sango or Miroku turned on him like that, sure he'd be upset, but he'd be okay.
He wouldn't feel like the bottom of his world had dropped away from under him with no warning.
He clenched his fists in despair. "Dammit, I want the old Kagome back!"
Speaking of whom - his keen ears had picked up her voice murmuring in the hut below him. He sat forward, trying to make out the faint words.
"Inuyasha…no! Oh, gods, no…"
'Urk. Oh, please, don't let her be dreaming about yesterday…'
"Miroku…Sango!"
'Hmm. Maybe not.' He dropped noiselessly to the ground and stepped over to the hut, peering through the doorway. The object of his close scrutiny was thrashing about in that 'sleeping bag' of hers (he still thought that was a weird name for a blanket) and mumbling incoherently. Concerned, he hesitantly moved forward.
"What?…Where did?…." Then a gasp. "KIKYOU!"
Okay, that did it. This had to stop. He quickly scrambled over to where she lay, carefully shaking her arm. 'Wake up! C'mon, girl…' Her eyes snapped wide open, clearly terrified. She looked down to see the hand on her arm - and screamed.
"Kyaaa!"
"Ow! What the…" He stopped speaking, shaking his head to try and get the damned ringing out of his ears. "That HURTS, wench!" At Kagome's frantic scream, the other inhabitants of the hut stirred themselves sleepily into action. "Kagome-chan? What's…?"
Sango's voice trailed off as she took in the scene before her. Kagome, bolt upright in bed, scared stiff - and Inuyasha holding onto her arm. Beside her, Miroku obviously reached the same conclusion. Hiraikotsu and the shakujou were instantly snatched up, ready for use. "Let go of her, you…you - " Sango was unable to think of a suitably scathing name for him. "Let go, HANYOU!"
The hanyou in question cringed - that had stung. This was what he got for helping…
The brewing confrontation was broken off by Kagome's soft voice. "It's - it's okay, Sango-chan. Don't hurt him." For a moment his hopes rose. Maybe she was back to normal?…Ah, apparently not. She refused to look at him, instead focusing on her arm. "I just thought he was…" 'Kikyou…' "erm, someone else," she finished lamely.
Given what had happened recently, her friends were justifiably doubtful of this explanation.
"No, really!" She forced a smile onto her face for their benefit. "I'm fine - just had a dream. No big deal." All the while, Shippo was snuggling up to her, trying to comfort his surrogate mother. He hated it when she was upset. Eventually he pushed her so hard she nearly toppled over. Sighing, she laid a hand upon his head, calming the fox youkai as best she could. "Really, everyone, I'm okay. You don't need to worry!"
All this time she still hadn't looked at Inuyasha.
Finally the group settled down again. Inuyasha turned and slunk out of the hut. If he had a tail, he was sure it would have been well and truly between his legs. 'She screamed at me…is she REALLY that scared of me now? I don't suppose she'll ever trust me again,' he thought dismally. And what was this? A suspicious burning in his eyes…oh, great, that's all he needed. The last thing he wanted was for the others to see him like this. Hanyou or not, he had a certain reputation to uphold - and that meant absolutely, positively no crying. He spun around and dashed off into his forest…no doubt quite a few hapless trees wouldn't see the sunrise. He just knew he needed to get away - NOW! Perhaps a bit of forest demolition would help calm him down…
Kagome lay in her bed, totally unaware of what her erstwhile friend was going through. Try as she might, she could not get back to sleep again. She tried counting sheep, counting the rafters in the ceiling, reciting the multiplication tables (after all, she fell asleep in maths class, didn't she?), but nothing worked. Eventually she gave up and settled in for a sleepless night. Or what was left of it, anyway. What she wouldn't give to be able to talk to her mother right now - "Argh! Stop it! Pointless wishing…" Schooling her thoughts away from home, she sat back and waited for the sun to rise.
The next morning, news of a shikon shard reached them, and so they set off in search of it. The group sincerely hoped that this would help to reverse the uncomfortable situation that they had found themselves in; but over the next few days, everyone became painfully aware of the change in their formerly cheerful companion. She was seriously dragging, stumbling over non-existent obstacles in the road, slowing them down, and generally getting them all, particularly Inuyasha, quite worried for her. There were dark circles under her eyes, indicating a lack of sleep, and she was jumping at tiny sounds from the side of the road - as if she was expecting an attack any minute. Which, unbeknownst to them all, she was.
The dream had been recurring in her sleep every night of their journey - every time there was a little more detail, but nothing to really show what was going on. And all around, the undead miko's sense was dominant. That scared her more than anything. But just as she thought she might figure out the meaning of it all, the flames came and swept the vision away, forcing her into wakefulness. And she could never get to sleep again afterwards. Throughout the day, her sleep-deprived brain would struggle with the question of what she was seeing - and asking why the hell wouldn't it leave her alone for once?! - half-expecting Kikyou, bow and arrows at the ready, to jump out from behind the bushes and wreak havoc upon them all. What with the way she was feeling right now, Kagome almost wished she would.
Kagome trudged along the road, muttering to herself. "Blasted miko, why don't you just get it over with, huh? Come to kill us all, burn us up, yeah, sounds fun…" She brushed her hands across her eyes wearily. "Then maybe, just maybe I could get some bloody sleep for once?…" She staggered slightly, then caught her balance again. Ahead of her, Sango and Miroku glanced at each other in concern. They weren't sure what was wrong with their dear friend, but they weren't going to let it lie any longer. Something had to give.
At the front of the little party, Inuyasha heard every word she said. 'Miko? Kill us all? She can't be serious…' He looked over his shoulder at her, partly hoping to catch her eye. Her head was down, staring at the ground as she walked, her hair falling forward over her shoulders like an ebony curtain. Somewhat distressed, he examined her more thoroughly. Shoulders stooped forwards, arms hanging listlessly by her side, feet dragging on the road - where was the fire? The spirit that he knew was in her somewhere? She never smiled, certainly not at him, her laughter was non-existent, and she was talking to herself like a madwoman. And he couldn't help but feel that he was the cause of it. Wow, that thought hurt. Resolutely, he turned his attention to the road ahead.
That night as they set up camp, everyone (except Kagome) noticed that Inuyasha was being rather helpful for a change - if not downright eager to please. He caught a few rabbits for their meal, found some firewood, even brought some herbs back to help with the flavour…all the while glancing over at Kagome to see her reaction. She looked up at him once or twice, but the faint upwards curve of her mouth couldn't really be classed as a smile. More like a quiet dismissal. His ears drooped - was he ever going to make her happy? Probably not. Then it hit him. 'What she needs is some time off….yeah, I'll send her home for a bit. Then we can go back to way things were!' Pleased with himself, he waited until they had eaten before making the suggestion. "Ahh, Kagome?"
She looked at him, for once not turning her eyes away. "Yes, Inuyasha?"
He took a deep breath, and plunged onwards. "You're looking kinda tired - do you think you should go back to your time for a bit? Have a rest, or something?…" For the life of him, he couldn't understand her reaction. To his way of thinking, that should at least have gotten a nod of thanks! But no. She frowned - not at him, rather at the ground - and stood up quickly. "I - I'm going for a walk. Back soon, everyone." And with the most energy she'd shown in days, she strode off into the darkness. Inuyasha scratched his head, clearly at a loss. 'I just don't get it…' His thoughts broke off suddenly as Shippo bounced up in his face, screeching at him in anger. "What did you do this time, you big jerk?" he yelled. "You're always making her mad! I hate you! You - " Inuyasha automatically reached out to whack the annoying kit on the head, silencing his tantrum. 'That was almost like - an escape…' At the sound of rustling fabric, he turned. Miroku leaned over and tapped him on the head with his shakujou. "Stay here. I will go and try to talk to Kagome-sama." Immediately the hanyou bristled in rage.
"You try anything funny, bouzu, and I swear I'll -"
"And so will I!" Sango broke in, red-faced. Miroku regarded them both with a faintly wounded expression.
"After all this time, you don't trust me…" he mused. Then he smiled. "Inuyasha, as much as I can see you would like to find out what's happening to Kagome-sama at the moment, it's rather unlikely that she will be willing to talk to you." Inuyasha gave an annoyed 'feh' at that, but he could see the houshi's point. "And Sango, as good a friend as you are to Kagome-sama, I get the impression that what is ailing her is something of a…spiritual nature. And that is where I can help her. Frankly, I do not like to see her this way. It worries me greatly. And if I have to invade her personal space somewhat, so be it!" With that final parting comment, he hurriedly left the fireside - leaving a rather enraged pair behind him.
Kagome wandered aimlessly in the woods until she found a log that looked comfortable. Shuddering, she let herself slide down onto it - and let the tears that had been threatening to appear all day come out. She wasn't sure exactly what she was crying for - her lost friendship with Inuyasha, her family, her sanity…it all came down to one thing.
She was, without a doubt, heartbroken.
It had all come to a head when Inuyasha had suggested that she go home - as though it was a favour. 'Of course,' she thought, 'he didn't know that I can't go back now…so to him it was a favour, I guess.' She sniffed, trying to control her emotions once again. 'But I made my decision - I'm NOT going to tell him that I'm staying…' She craned her neck up to look at the stars above her. They shone back at her, twinkling merrily. Unaware of the mess that was her world. She gazed at them for a long time, wishing that they could give her the answers she was desperately seeking.
That was how Miroku found her - sitting alone in the dark, staring at the night sky like a lost soul searching for meaning. It struck him all at once, how very small she looked. Small and delicate - and terribly frail. Not wishing to startle her out of her wits, he eased himself onto the log, a safe distance away from her. They sat like that for a while, not saying a word. She drew some comfort from his calm presence - and he simply waited for her to begin
Eventually she broke the stillness, twisting to look him square in the eye. "You want to know what's going on." It was a statement, not a question. He just looked at her, waiting for her to continue. She sighed, running her fingers distractedly through her hair. "Alright, but promise me one thing." She swallowed. "Don't tell Inuyasha." Again he remained quiet, raising his eyebrows in a wordless inquiry. Haltingly, she started to tell her story, her voice getting stronger as she went on. About how she had made a final choice, to stay until all the shards were found, and not go back through the well. When she had finished, she looked away again.
"Forgive me, Kagome-sama, but why aren't you telling Inuyasha this?" he asked. "I'm sure he would like to know."
She laughed bitterly. "Oh, yes, I'm sure he'd be thrilled that his shard detector wasn't going to run off and leave him!" In the shadows, Miroku frowned. "Just a shard detector? I mean, I know what happened was - "
She cut him off with an impatient wave of her hand. "No, no, that's got nothing to do with it!" She reconsidered for a moment. "Well, almost nothing. See, it's like a war we've been fighting for two years, Miroku. Do I stay, do I go? He'd just think he's finally won, and then any regard he had for me would go straight out the window! No need to be careful around me, because my presence is guaranteed. I'd be taken for granted, kept off to the side like a piece of useless equipment, to be picked up when it's needed and then tossed aside again!" The tears were flowing down her face again as she spoke. "I'll admit, I was scared of him when he…attacked me, but not anymore. After all, he still has that rosary. Now I think I just resent him for forcing this choice on me. Ack, I know he didn't have a direct hand in it, but it feels like he did. And for him to just sit there and suggest that I go home - it's just too much." She broke off, propping her chin in her hands.
"I understand all that you've said so far, Kagome-sama, but there is something else we are all worried about." He paused, unsure of how to continue. 'How do you say 'you're acting like a lunatic' and not get slugged?' He nearly fell off the log when she stood up abruptly, turning to face him. "Miroku, I think I need your help as a houshi…as well as a friend." He smiled at that.
"Anything you wish, Kagome-sama. What is bothering you?" He watched her expectantly.
"You remember when I woke up from that dream, in the hut?" He nodded; who could forget a scene like that? "Well, the dream was - um, really…it scared me, and, ah…" she stopped. "I may as well start at the beginning." So she described the dream, all that she had seen (smiling slightly when he winced at the mention of his precious shakujou being smashed), and the ghostly presence of Kikyou pervading the whole thing. When she had finished, he sat silently, thinking about what she had told him. Then - "Is that all? Nothing more?"
"Er…" she looked slightly abashed. "They've been coming every night since I came back from my time. And I can't sleep afterwards." That caught his attention.
"Every night?" That certainly explained her behaviour.
"Yes. Sometimes a few details change, but in the end it's the same - surrounded by fire, and then that…that - " Her voice broke, letting him see the anguish it was causing her. "I can't get away from her! I feel like she's everywhere, watching my every move, following me like some ghoul, waiting for her chance to hurt me!" She dropped to her knees in the grass, pounding the ground with her fists. "I can't keep living with this! I can't!" Moving without conscious thought, the houshi moved to kneel beside her, enveloping her in a warm embrace. She stiffened slightly, then leaned into his warmth, letting it wash over her. They sat like that for a while, just relaxing in each other's company. He only relinquished his hold when she pushed gently at him. She regarded him out of calm eyes, at peace for the first time in days. "What does it mean, Miroku? What should I do?" He pondered the question for a while, then looked up at her. "Are you sure you want to hear what I think?" he asked. "It may be uncomfortable.."
"Go ahead," she encouraged him. "Anything is better than this!"
"Very well. I believe your decision to stay…er…indefinitely in this time period has made you somehow more receptive to your miko inclinations." She stared at him, not quite sure what she thought of that. He went on. "This is a place where supernatural influences abound - but you have been quite stubborn in your refusal to accept the entirety of your calling here. Now that you are more open, your mind is going to be subject to those influences, and you really do need to learn how to use them…and control them. If I couldn't control all the powers that I wield, I'm sure I wouldn't get any sleep, either." He smiled ruefully. "In our profession, dreams can be premonitions, warnings, messages - or just plain nightmares. But the fact that you are having the same dream consistently leads me to believe that it is more than just fancy. Would you agree?" She closed her eyes, then opened them again. For the first time in days, he noticed, they were completely clear.
"I feel much better knowing that I'm not simply going mad or anything - I really don't want to have that dream again, but if it's a message then I suppose I'll keep getting it until I understand, won't I?" He nodded regretfully. "Alright, here's the deal. I need sleep - badly. So, after I have the dream, can you cast a ward or something so I can get some rest?"
"I don't know about a ward, but I do know of a sleep-inducing herb that is remarkably effective."
"That'll do. Once I've had the dream, I'll take this herb (whatever it is) and go back to sleep. Finally… And in the meantime, I'll try to be a bit more sociable than I have been. I know I've been something of a pain in the neck - no need to say it. And don't deny it, either, I'll just get annoyed. I'm perfectly aware I've been a real bitch. Especially to Inuyasha." She bit her lip in agitation. "He may have lost it a little, but he really doesn't deserve the cold-shoulder treatment. I wonder if he'll let me apologise?" she sighed despondently.
'Oh, he'll let you, no worries there,' Miroku thought. 'Are you the only one who can't see that he's been worried sick about you?'
"But," she continued firmly, "I'm still not telling him about my decision to stay. It's stupid I know, but if my feelings turn out to be right, and he does take it as nothing more than a cheap victory, I won't be able to stand it." She looked at him earnestly, her eyes pleading with him to understand, to back her up. "You won't tell him?"
"No," he promised. 'Doesn't necessarily mean I agree, but you're set on it…'
"Thank you," she breathed. Timidly, she rested her hand on his arm and smiled. "Let's go back to camp. They'll be wondering where we are - and what you're doing." She grinned. He grimaced in mock indignation.
"I have been nothing but proper, Kagome-sama. After all, I'm a houshi!" She laughed, and the sound was music to his ears. It had been so long since she had laughed properly. "C'mon, let's move. I have to speak to Inuyasha."
As they returned to the fireside, Sango looked up to Kagome. The girl gave her friend a reassuring smile, then looked around for Inuyasha.
He wasn't there.
Sango noticed her looking around, and sighed. "He went off to check the forest for nearby youkai," she said. "Said something didn't feel right about this place."
"Fair enough," Kagome said agreeably. Sango met Miroku's eye, thanking him for helping their friend. He nodded in acknowledgment. They were just about to settle for the night when Kagome straightened her back, reaching out with her senses. Anxiously the other two watched her as she stretched her abilities to their limit. She was so tired… Her voice shattered the quiet, "A shard! Approaching from the north - really close - " Where was Inuyasha? Any question of how far away the marauding youkai was became irrelevant when the monster burst in on the clearing, bearing down on the young miko with frightening intensity. She screamed the first name that came to mind.
"INUYASHA!!"
* Ahem * Did I mention I like cliffhangers? Gets readers to come back later! Next Chapter: Inadequate. All reviews welcomed with open arms…come on, push the button! Update will be soon, I promise!
