Meant to Be
by obi's girl

Part 2

Summary: Sabé's thoughts about Obi-Wan, the break-up, the marriage to her fiancé, the reunion and yet, second break-up.

I cant believe youre saying this to me... Every memory we shared, the little moments we had together, doesn't matter to you, does it, Obi-Wan? I cried, tears clouding my brown eyes as he sullenly nodded yes. When he asked me to meet him in park not far from the Temple, I thought it meant he was going to propose to me and spend the rest of the day with me. Our affair, our love story had been kept a secret from the public as well as the Jedi Council but I think they knew at some point what was going on between us. They had to have known for him to make this decision to leave me.

The only thing was, I thought I mattered more to him than the Order. He'd told me such on many occasions, if he were ever forced to choose, he'd choose me in a heart beat. Obviously, he'd lied to me all those times he held me in his arms. I was such a fool to believe everything he told me, I only believed him because I thought he meant them.

Sabé, please understandI'm sorry but it has to be this way. The Code forbids such attachments as ours, he said, I know it's not what you want to hear but this has to end.

I huffed, crossing my arms as I had my back turned to him. I didn't want to look at his face, it sickened me to look into his blue eyes and realize all that was he saying, his heart said to. I simply waved his hand and then darted from the park, anger and sadness swelling in my heart. I ran forever, sometimes, looking behind myself, hoping I would see his boots running after me but they were never there.

I finally found myself at my apartment. I stood there, staring at all the miscellaneous objects that reminded me of my time with him. I scowled, marched to my dresser, brushing all the frames aside and tossing stuff around in general. As I sat there on the bed, I screamed, letting out all the pain and sorrow I'd been keeping in since I left the park.

How could he leave me like this? How could he choose the Order over me and break my heart? So many angered questions flew through my head and none of the answers made sense.

~~
Years later, staring blankly out the window at the passing hover cars and at the restless life of Coruscant, my thoughts returned to that day in the park. Over the years, I tried to forget about that awful day but one way or another, when I wasn't thinking about my position as the Foreign Ambassador or the next legislation that needed to be passed in the Senate, I would stare out the window and think of him.

He would be in his 14th year as a Jedi Master. His apprentice never even knew of our affair but she was sure, now that Anakin was older, he knew. It had become difficult, with her busy schedule, to even see him at the Temple. Funny, after all that had happened between them, he harsh words I said him that day, I always thought about seeing him. Maybe it was because I hoped if I did, he'd apologize for breaking my heart and tell me what he did was a mistake, and we'd be together again.

It was a childish fantasy, I knew. But it hurt less to think about it because there would be happy ending. He was only a teen crush, the dimples in his cheek , the sparkle in his blue eyes and mischievous grinI was the lucky handmaiden. I never dreamed he'd feel something for me. I know the other handmaidens were so jealous of me when I told them about that special connection between us but I know, they were happy for me too.

We were inseparable after that. He was a young Jedi Master, but me, I didn't have any pressing responsibilities so there was nothing to tie me down or stop me from seeing him. I loved him so much, I knew one day if it ever ended, it would hurt more than any other pain I'd felt in my life.

But it did end, and I never looked back but yet, at night, I still dreamed about him.

~~

Sabé Maberrie, he smiled, kneeling before me with a ring. Everyone else in the park, stared in awe at our public display of affection. I would be honored if you would be my wife,

I smiled despite the pain I felt in my heart. I wished it was Obi-Wan kneeling before me, asking for hand but it wasn't him. Caleb was a good friend, we'd worked together often but love, it wasn't even there, not for me any way. I smiled politely, bowed my head slightly as I whispered to him, I'm sorry Caleb, but no. I can't marry you,

I turned, looked at all the onlookers, many of them friends of mine and friends of his. I smiled at them too and then quietly left the park. My first marriage proposal and I said no. You'd think I'd jump at the chance to be a wife and mother, I'd always dreamed about it, but this wasn't right. If I did marry Caleb, it wouldn't be fair to him. I couldn't give myself to him completely.

As a matter of fact, I knew I couldn't give myself to anyone else other than Obi-Wan. Still, we weren't together and lately, it seemed less and less likely, we'd ever be. But I was still naïve, still dreaming he'd change his mind and the next time I'd get a proposal he'd be the one that would propose to me.

~~

"It doesn't change anything between us, Ben. I know now your life is with the Order and my life is politics. That's just the way it is and it'll never change, and I doubt I'd fit into your life. I don't even know if I could," I rambled and paused, "I just wanted to say that before I forgot to,"

I watched as his face fell sourly and the light in his eyes became a dimmer. I knew he wanted us to be together; I wanted it too but I didn't want my heart broken again. It was better this way, I convinced myself.

"I did come here hoping enough time had passed, we could start over or pick off where we left off,"

"I've had those same dreams too Ben, but we can't ever go back to the way things used to be," I said, "I'm sorry for wasting your time Ben, but I have an appointment that I need to attend," He frowned as I stood up and smiled at him, "But it was good to see you, though. I'd been meaning to make the trip myself to the Temple but with my schedule, it isn't easy."

He smiled goodbye to me, drooping his shoulders slightly as he watched me leave the hotel and step into an taxi. No more fairytales, I lived in the real world and in the real world, it was foolish to dream about such things. Besides, I had my career, which was at its peak at the moment. I couldn't just give it all up, people would think I had gone crazy.

~~

Still, months later, I went to Caleb's office with flowers and a ring. He was overjoyed of course that I'd reconsidered his proposal. I told him that I had doubts about us because I did don't love him in the beginning, I didn't share the same feeling he had for me. But I also told him, with time, I'd learn to love him.

It was a very empty comment, because the fact is, I still loved Obi-Wan. Yet, I was still getting married to another man to fill the void in my heart. The choice might come back and haunt me years later but for now, I needed to feel loved; even if it wasn't by the man who I wanted to love me.

The End

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