Erm. Thanks for making it this far :D Yay! I don't own Fushuguguguiguu
Yuuguuu... that lady does.
They walked side by side through the wooded night, the sounds of angry, upset bandits growing softer as the two wandered further off. Nuriko and Hotohori were supposed to be looking for Miaka, but, surprisingly, they had struck something with each other somehow. So, they walked wherever their feet led them, forgetting about the miko momentarily, talking about anything and everything. Nuriko was surprised at how talkative the regal emperor of Kounan could be; he was so used to his exterior that was so quiet, powerful, wistful. This Hotohori was different, though. He was not the usual, melancholy, distant man, but an eager, bright boy that Nuriko, or anyone else, for that matter, never knew of before now. They had told each other everything about themselves. Hotohori told of a lonely childhood, and a dream of a lovely miko who would one day rescue him from his cage. Nuriko told him all about Kourin. He had told nobody else in the whole world about her before now. Both of the two told of emptiness, worthlessness, and hopeless love. They walked alongside each other, the moon lighting their faces with its dim, pale light.
"Hotohori-sama... I'm sorry about Miaka," Nuriko ventured after a silence.
The emperor and the court lady had been talking about loved ones. For the first time, Nuriko felt genuinely sorry that Miaka didn't love Hotohori. After hearing Hotohori tell him all about how the one he loved never glanced in his direction, and how they had loved someone else from the moment he met them, how could he not feel sorry for him? He was pathetic, trying so hard not to say her name when he talked about her. Nuriko concluded that either Hotohori didn't know that he knew he loved her, or he knew that he was in love with him and didn't want to hurt the other boy's feelings.
"Miaka?" he looked Nuriko in the eye inquisitively, who responded by quickly looking away, afraid that he might get lost in those glistening brown eyes. Every time the emperor looked at him, Nuriko could feel his gorgeous eyes burning into his. "What about Miaka?" he frowned. "Don't worry, Nuriko, we'll find her," he said reassuringly as he broke into a soft smile.
"No, no!" Nuriko laughed. "What I meant was... don't you love her?" he braved a quick glance at him, hastily looking away before he could catch him.
"Oh..."
He sounded remotely disappointed.
"Don't you?" Nuriko looked at him again, letting his violet gaze linger on his downcast eyes for a moment before snatching them away again.
"I suppose..." he said hesitantly, unenthusiastically. Very hesitantly. Very unenthusiastically. Nuriko began to wonder...what if he didn't love Miaka after all? If not her. then who? He sighed, tossing his purple braid over his shoulder. Who was he kidding here? He was probably just embarrassed to admit that he loved Miaka.
"But anyway," Nuriko tried to brighten Hotohori's lovely features by changing the subject. He obviously didn't want to talk about Miaka. "I'm glad we got this time to talk."
"So am I." Hotohori replied, a tad more enthusiasm in his deep, smooth voice, "You know what?"
"Mm?" he crossed his arms over his chest for lack of anything else to do.
"Before now, I didn't really know you... I mean what you were really like. To tell you the truth... I was kind of reluctant to want to really know you," Nuriko felt his heart going from hopeful to dead bleeding on the ground.
"So you don't like me?" he asked, trying to put some sarcasm in his girlish voice to hide the fact that he was genuinely hurt. Hotohori must have sensed the sincerity of Nuriko's ache in some undertone of his voice, as he quickly attempted to finish what he was trying to say.
"Wait! Wait! Let me finish!" he glanced at the other boy, smiling, yet unsure. "As I was saying... Now that I actually do know you better than just as an acquaintance, I want to know more about you..." he stopped, scratching his cheek absent-mindedly, "I... I feel like we have something in common... lots of things. Like we're connected, you know? I can't really explain it. I'm just really glad that I'm getting to know you... and... I hope that I'll know you more... until I know everything."
He flashed a quick smile.
Eh? That was... whoa. So now Hotohori-sama wanted to know him better? Until he knows everything? Nuriko toyed with his sleeve, unsure what to say in response. He finally settled on, "You really mean it?" a shy Nuriko didn't dare look at him, for fear that if he saw him... his face, his hair, his smile glowing in the moonlight... it might make him think that he meant more by that than he really did.
"I really mean it."
"... Hotohori-sama?" Nuriko bit his lip, glancing sideways toward the tall emperor's direction. "This is kind of going back to the other subject, but... do you love Miaka? Truthfully?"
"Truthfully?" he looked straight into Nuriko's hopeful eyes. Nuriko had to work to try to quiet whatever inside of him that wanted to scream out how he felt about him. "Truthfully? I guess... no. I loved the idea of her, but she's just... not what I dreamed of. I wish she were, but she's just not... and nothing can change her. I wouldn't change her if I could. I just have to stop telling myself that I love her... because I know in my heart that I don't." He didn't love Miaka? If not her, then -
"Who do you love?" Hotohori asked suddenly, rather innocent to the fact that he was causing Nuriko to feel rather faint. He didn't love Miaka... and he wanted to know who Nuriko loved? The purple-haired seishi tried to pull the random bits and pieces of himself together.
"Can't tell," he cooed, rather smugly, his sweet voice practically dripping with unconfined affection.
He gave a small laugh.
"Is it Tamahome?" he asked, quite seriously.
"Tamahome?!" the other boy repeated, thoroughly shocked. 'Me? Tamahome? Where did he pull that idea from?' Nuriko thought to himself. Obviously, Hotohori read his thoughts quite well, and caught the unspoken 'hell no' quite clearly.
"Then who?" he laughed.
Suddenly, Nuriko found himself feeling very light-headed and dizzy as the reality of the situation sunk in. Hotohori wanted to know who he loved... and he didn't love Miaka... and that only left so many other options for his love interest. He stopped walking, hoping that he would be less likely to fall over when he wasn't moving. Nuriko played with his braid, letting his thin fingers slip through it just so.
"Who do you love? If you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine," he grinned, praying with all his heart that he'd say 'you.'
The incredibly hot emperor stopped walking as well, standing, as Nuriko observed much to his heart's pleasure and his overflowing head's dismay, less than arm's length away from him.
"It's only fair," Nuriko smiled, even though he was dreading the answer. It wouldn't be him. Things didn't just happen perfectly like that.
"Well..." he started mellifluously (he must be pretty darn smooth to say 'well' mellifluously....), "they're perfect... graceful... bright... funny... beautiful... interesting..." he grinned, "and the list goes on and on." Nuriko looked at the ground. He hoped that this would never get to the 'and her name is so-and-so-person-I've-never-heard-of' part. Hotohori looked into Nuriko's longing eyes as Nuriko tried very hard not to notice that he was doing so.
He dropped his voice to a shaky whisper, "But the only bad thing... is that this wonderful person has been right under my eyes the whole time and I've just now realized how..." he stopped. His breath was ragged and quiet as he paused. His gaze fell to Nuriko's feet. "How much I love you..." he whispered, uncharacteristically nervous.
Nuriko felt faint. Things didn't happen like this. and yet they just did. Hotohori's brown eyes wandered back up to Nuriko's. He slowly, unsurely, looked up into the emperor's, letting his gaze stay there much longer than he had planned. Hotohori loved him? Nuriko wanted to tell him that he loved him too, more than he loved anyone else in the world. He opened his mouth to say it.
Nothing.
It didn't seem right. He couldn't let everything just come tumbling out. It wasn't supposed to be this easy. He had never dreamed that this would happen. Well, he had... quite often, in fact. Nuriko just had never thought that it would actually happen in reality. So there they both stood, hearts buzzing, totally unsure what the other was thinking.
Nuriko staggered a whole two steps forward and wrapped his arms around Hotohori's strong shoulders in a loose hug.
Hotohori jerked a little, stiffened in surprise. Slowly, rigidly, he wrapped his arms around the braided seishi. Nuriko realized that this was the closest he had ever been to anyone, aside from the strange, quick hugs Miaka always tackled him with.
The moon went behind cloud, making the already dark night shrouded in another ebony veil. Hotohori finally relaxed a little. Nuriko sighed as he felt Hotohori's warm, sweet breath on his neck. It was no longer ragged and forced, but slow and steady.
"Nuriko..." he whispered somewhere close to the other's ear. His voice was no more than a breath, and if they hadn't been so close, Nuriko doubted that he would have been able to hear anything at all. "I love you..." he breathed slowly.
Hotohori was seeming to feed on the heavy sensation that was building inside his heart. Nuriko wondered if he should say it... He decided on yes, and somehow he managed to get it out, breathily, wobbly, nervous, needing, "I..." he inhaled sharply, making a soft gasping sound. He clenched his moonlit eyes shut. He couldn't say it.
So he'd just try again. "I..." he lost all control over what his mouth was saying, and as a result, didn't make too much sense. "I... you... I don't... Hotohori-sama... agh..." he managed to stop there, halting his unintelligible whispers.
"I know..." Hotohori said, in a hush. "I'm sorry..." he pulled away from Nuriko slightly, who quickly let go of him. Sorry?
"For what...?" he whispered in muted alarm.
"I just... I shouldn't have assumed that you..." the emperor cut himself off, taking a step back.
"Assumed what?" Nuriko pleaded with himself. Give me another chance! Please! Please let me have another chance to tell him! I swear I won't back out if you just please give me a chance!
"I'm sorry..." Hotohori said, downcast eyes. I'll do it right this time! ...Please...
Nuriko just stared at him, eyes wide, terrified that Hotohori was going to take it all back. He pleaded and begged silently to Suzaku to let Hotohori love him.
Hotohori looked Nuriko over pitiably. Finally came a whispered, "You do love Tamahome... don't you..."
He sounded so sad.
Tamahome?! Damn it! Hotohori STILL thought that he loved Tamahome?? He had already told him that he didn't! "I can barely STAND Tamahome!" Nuriko scoffed, rather loudly.
Quickly realizing that he had completely slaughtered the mood and displayed its severed head on a thirty-foot stake as a warning to others, he tried to salvage what he could. He surprised himself by smoothly, despite his nervousness, sweetly whispering, "The only one I've ever loved... was you," he bravely raised his eyes to meet Hotohori's.
"Really?" he breathed hopefully, getting an almost clumsy grin on his face. He never looked so happy, so beautiful. Nuriko thought that he looked even more attractive when he was happy (considering how hot he is even when he's miserable...hey ;))
"Yes!" Nuriko said much the same way Hotohori had, clumsy grin included. Nuriko took a breath. "I love you..." Whispering that somehow made the smile fall from his face as he gazed into the emperor's eyes. Suddenly, Nuriko found himself with the same light head and unstable knees as before. Hotohori's smile faded as well, and was replaced with something else. Nuriko found himself shaking as he imagined what it would be like if Hotohori kissed him...
"Who's there??????111" came a high-pitched squeak, sending both seishi flying away from each other, much to both's dismay.
"Shut the hell up! You trying to get us caught?" came a voice that Nuriko recognized as the one belonging to the red-haired bandit who had taken Miaka. Knowing that, Nuriko concluded that it had been Miaka who had initially broken their moment. He could kill her later. In the meantime, Nuriko just looked around, trying to see where they were, as their voices had not been far off.
Slowly, the whole party came into view. Miaka appeared to be safe. There were two bandits with her. One had dark hair and a scar on his cheek. Nuriko remembered him from earlier. And the other... the one who had jumped out the window with Miaka and unleashed those paper wolves on them... Though he was not nearly as gorgeous as the emperor, Nuriko still couldn't take his eyes off the bandit's fiery red hair and clever eyes.
They walked side by side through the wooded night, the sounds of angry, upset bandits growing softer as the two wandered further off. Nuriko and Hotohori were supposed to be looking for Miaka, but, surprisingly, they had struck something with each other somehow. So, they walked wherever their feet led them, forgetting about the miko momentarily, talking about anything and everything. Nuriko was surprised at how talkative the regal emperor of Kounan could be; he was so used to his exterior that was so quiet, powerful, wistful. This Hotohori was different, though. He was not the usual, melancholy, distant man, but an eager, bright boy that Nuriko, or anyone else, for that matter, never knew of before now. They had told each other everything about themselves. Hotohori told of a lonely childhood, and a dream of a lovely miko who would one day rescue him from his cage. Nuriko told him all about Kourin. He had told nobody else in the whole world about her before now. Both of the two told of emptiness, worthlessness, and hopeless love. They walked alongside each other, the moon lighting their faces with its dim, pale light.
"Hotohori-sama... I'm sorry about Miaka," Nuriko ventured after a silence.
The emperor and the court lady had been talking about loved ones. For the first time, Nuriko felt genuinely sorry that Miaka didn't love Hotohori. After hearing Hotohori tell him all about how the one he loved never glanced in his direction, and how they had loved someone else from the moment he met them, how could he not feel sorry for him? He was pathetic, trying so hard not to say her name when he talked about her. Nuriko concluded that either Hotohori didn't know that he knew he loved her, or he knew that he was in love with him and didn't want to hurt the other boy's feelings.
"Miaka?" he looked Nuriko in the eye inquisitively, who responded by quickly looking away, afraid that he might get lost in those glistening brown eyes. Every time the emperor looked at him, Nuriko could feel his gorgeous eyes burning into his. "What about Miaka?" he frowned. "Don't worry, Nuriko, we'll find her," he said reassuringly as he broke into a soft smile.
"No, no!" Nuriko laughed. "What I meant was... don't you love her?" he braved a quick glance at him, hastily looking away before he could catch him.
"Oh..."
He sounded remotely disappointed.
"Don't you?" Nuriko looked at him again, letting his violet gaze linger on his downcast eyes for a moment before snatching them away again.
"I suppose..." he said hesitantly, unenthusiastically. Very hesitantly. Very unenthusiastically. Nuriko began to wonder...what if he didn't love Miaka after all? If not her. then who? He sighed, tossing his purple braid over his shoulder. Who was he kidding here? He was probably just embarrassed to admit that he loved Miaka.
"But anyway," Nuriko tried to brighten Hotohori's lovely features by changing the subject. He obviously didn't want to talk about Miaka. "I'm glad we got this time to talk."
"So am I." Hotohori replied, a tad more enthusiasm in his deep, smooth voice, "You know what?"
"Mm?" he crossed his arms over his chest for lack of anything else to do.
"Before now, I didn't really know you... I mean what you were really like. To tell you the truth... I was kind of reluctant to want to really know you," Nuriko felt his heart going from hopeful to dead bleeding on the ground.
"So you don't like me?" he asked, trying to put some sarcasm in his girlish voice to hide the fact that he was genuinely hurt. Hotohori must have sensed the sincerity of Nuriko's ache in some undertone of his voice, as he quickly attempted to finish what he was trying to say.
"Wait! Wait! Let me finish!" he glanced at the other boy, smiling, yet unsure. "As I was saying... Now that I actually do know you better than just as an acquaintance, I want to know more about you..." he stopped, scratching his cheek absent-mindedly, "I... I feel like we have something in common... lots of things. Like we're connected, you know? I can't really explain it. I'm just really glad that I'm getting to know you... and... I hope that I'll know you more... until I know everything."
He flashed a quick smile.
Eh? That was... whoa. So now Hotohori-sama wanted to know him better? Until he knows everything? Nuriko toyed with his sleeve, unsure what to say in response. He finally settled on, "You really mean it?" a shy Nuriko didn't dare look at him, for fear that if he saw him... his face, his hair, his smile glowing in the moonlight... it might make him think that he meant more by that than he really did.
"I really mean it."
"... Hotohori-sama?" Nuriko bit his lip, glancing sideways toward the tall emperor's direction. "This is kind of going back to the other subject, but... do you love Miaka? Truthfully?"
"Truthfully?" he looked straight into Nuriko's hopeful eyes. Nuriko had to work to try to quiet whatever inside of him that wanted to scream out how he felt about him. "Truthfully? I guess... no. I loved the idea of her, but she's just... not what I dreamed of. I wish she were, but she's just not... and nothing can change her. I wouldn't change her if I could. I just have to stop telling myself that I love her... because I know in my heart that I don't." He didn't love Miaka? If not her, then -
"Who do you love?" Hotohori asked suddenly, rather innocent to the fact that he was causing Nuriko to feel rather faint. He didn't love Miaka... and he wanted to know who Nuriko loved? The purple-haired seishi tried to pull the random bits and pieces of himself together.
"Can't tell," he cooed, rather smugly, his sweet voice practically dripping with unconfined affection.
He gave a small laugh.
"Is it Tamahome?" he asked, quite seriously.
"Tamahome?!" the other boy repeated, thoroughly shocked. 'Me? Tamahome? Where did he pull that idea from?' Nuriko thought to himself. Obviously, Hotohori read his thoughts quite well, and caught the unspoken 'hell no' quite clearly.
"Then who?" he laughed.
Suddenly, Nuriko found himself feeling very light-headed and dizzy as the reality of the situation sunk in. Hotohori wanted to know who he loved... and he didn't love Miaka... and that only left so many other options for his love interest. He stopped walking, hoping that he would be less likely to fall over when he wasn't moving. Nuriko played with his braid, letting his thin fingers slip through it just so.
"Who do you love? If you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine," he grinned, praying with all his heart that he'd say 'you.'
The incredibly hot emperor stopped walking as well, standing, as Nuriko observed much to his heart's pleasure and his overflowing head's dismay, less than arm's length away from him.
"It's only fair," Nuriko smiled, even though he was dreading the answer. It wouldn't be him. Things didn't just happen perfectly like that.
"Well..." he started mellifluously (he must be pretty darn smooth to say 'well' mellifluously....), "they're perfect... graceful... bright... funny... beautiful... interesting..." he grinned, "and the list goes on and on." Nuriko looked at the ground. He hoped that this would never get to the 'and her name is so-and-so-person-I've-never-heard-of' part. Hotohori looked into Nuriko's longing eyes as Nuriko tried very hard not to notice that he was doing so.
He dropped his voice to a shaky whisper, "But the only bad thing... is that this wonderful person has been right under my eyes the whole time and I've just now realized how..." he stopped. His breath was ragged and quiet as he paused. His gaze fell to Nuriko's feet. "How much I love you..." he whispered, uncharacteristically nervous.
Nuriko felt faint. Things didn't happen like this. and yet they just did. Hotohori's brown eyes wandered back up to Nuriko's. He slowly, unsurely, looked up into the emperor's, letting his gaze stay there much longer than he had planned. Hotohori loved him? Nuriko wanted to tell him that he loved him too, more than he loved anyone else in the world. He opened his mouth to say it.
Nothing.
It didn't seem right. He couldn't let everything just come tumbling out. It wasn't supposed to be this easy. He had never dreamed that this would happen. Well, he had... quite often, in fact. Nuriko just had never thought that it would actually happen in reality. So there they both stood, hearts buzzing, totally unsure what the other was thinking.
Nuriko staggered a whole two steps forward and wrapped his arms around Hotohori's strong shoulders in a loose hug.
Hotohori jerked a little, stiffened in surprise. Slowly, rigidly, he wrapped his arms around the braided seishi. Nuriko realized that this was the closest he had ever been to anyone, aside from the strange, quick hugs Miaka always tackled him with.
The moon went behind cloud, making the already dark night shrouded in another ebony veil. Hotohori finally relaxed a little. Nuriko sighed as he felt Hotohori's warm, sweet breath on his neck. It was no longer ragged and forced, but slow and steady.
"Nuriko..." he whispered somewhere close to the other's ear. His voice was no more than a breath, and if they hadn't been so close, Nuriko doubted that he would have been able to hear anything at all. "I love you..." he breathed slowly.
Hotohori was seeming to feed on the heavy sensation that was building inside his heart. Nuriko wondered if he should say it... He decided on yes, and somehow he managed to get it out, breathily, wobbly, nervous, needing, "I..." he inhaled sharply, making a soft gasping sound. He clenched his moonlit eyes shut. He couldn't say it.
So he'd just try again. "I..." he lost all control over what his mouth was saying, and as a result, didn't make too much sense. "I... you... I don't... Hotohori-sama... agh..." he managed to stop there, halting his unintelligible whispers.
"I know..." Hotohori said, in a hush. "I'm sorry..." he pulled away from Nuriko slightly, who quickly let go of him. Sorry?
"For what...?" he whispered in muted alarm.
"I just... I shouldn't have assumed that you..." the emperor cut himself off, taking a step back.
"Assumed what?" Nuriko pleaded with himself. Give me another chance! Please! Please let me have another chance to tell him! I swear I won't back out if you just please give me a chance!
"I'm sorry..." Hotohori said, downcast eyes. I'll do it right this time! ...Please...
Nuriko just stared at him, eyes wide, terrified that Hotohori was going to take it all back. He pleaded and begged silently to Suzaku to let Hotohori love him.
Hotohori looked Nuriko over pitiably. Finally came a whispered, "You do love Tamahome... don't you..."
He sounded so sad.
Tamahome?! Damn it! Hotohori STILL thought that he loved Tamahome?? He had already told him that he didn't! "I can barely STAND Tamahome!" Nuriko scoffed, rather loudly.
Quickly realizing that he had completely slaughtered the mood and displayed its severed head on a thirty-foot stake as a warning to others, he tried to salvage what he could. He surprised himself by smoothly, despite his nervousness, sweetly whispering, "The only one I've ever loved... was you," he bravely raised his eyes to meet Hotohori's.
"Really?" he breathed hopefully, getting an almost clumsy grin on his face. He never looked so happy, so beautiful. Nuriko thought that he looked even more attractive when he was happy (considering how hot he is even when he's miserable...hey ;))
"Yes!" Nuriko said much the same way Hotohori had, clumsy grin included. Nuriko took a breath. "I love you..." Whispering that somehow made the smile fall from his face as he gazed into the emperor's eyes. Suddenly, Nuriko found himself with the same light head and unstable knees as before. Hotohori's smile faded as well, and was replaced with something else. Nuriko found himself shaking as he imagined what it would be like if Hotohori kissed him...
"Who's there??????111" came a high-pitched squeak, sending both seishi flying away from each other, much to both's dismay.
"Shut the hell up! You trying to get us caught?" came a voice that Nuriko recognized as the one belonging to the red-haired bandit who had taken Miaka. Knowing that, Nuriko concluded that it had been Miaka who had initially broken their moment. He could kill her later. In the meantime, Nuriko just looked around, trying to see where they were, as their voices had not been far off.
Slowly, the whole party came into view. Miaka appeared to be safe. There were two bandits with her. One had dark hair and a scar on his cheek. Nuriko remembered him from earlier. And the other... the one who had jumped out the window with Miaka and unleashed those paper wolves on them... Though he was not nearly as gorgeous as the emperor, Nuriko still couldn't take his eyes off the bandit's fiery red hair and clever eyes.
