"That was pretty cool," Hermione confessed as the two of them sat on
the bench outside the manor. "I never thought you would stand up to your
own father like that."
"I know, it's impressive," Draco said in a mock tone of superiority. "He's been itching to get at me with his wand for years."
"You mean kill you?" Hermione was horrified but Draco's laughter stopped her from crying aloud.
"Not kill me," he assured her. "More like give me a pair of antlers, or stick a permanent sign on me that reads 'Bad Son'. Either way, it doesn't bother me."
"Your mother seems, well, odd," Hermione tentatively said, for lack of better words.
"You're being kind," Draco replied bitterly. "She does everything Father says, follows him everywhere. It's kind of sick, if you think about it. The woman can't think for herself."
Hermione nodded, looking down on the ground. Slowly, she turned her eyes upwards to Draco, who was sitting so casually on the bench beside her. His hair was falling over one of his eyes and he had both arms stretched out over the back of the bench. Hermione had leaned forward to avoid his touch, but sat back, figuring eventually she would have to get used to him.
"It's getting late," Draco said suddenly, standing up and stretching. "I think I'll go to bed soon."
"It's barely even nine."
"Well I like to get an early night's sleep." He smiled softly at her, almost thoughtfully, before he left. "Don't worry about Dad," he told her quietly. "He'll get over it eventually." He winked at her and left her in the dark, feeling lost and confused.
Hermione received an answer back from her parents the following Monday morning. She eagerly tore open the envelope, scanning it quickly for news on Ron or Harry. To her disappointment, the only reference was when her mother spoke of going into town. "We saw your friends, Harry and Ron, but I don't think they recognized us. They were having a good time, staring in the windows of the Quidditch shop."
Hermione couldn't help but feel a little let down that Ron and Harry wouldn't have recognized her own parents. After all, they had met them several times before. But her spirits lifted when she saw that they had sent Hermione's own owl, Gadget. Quickly, before anyone else came downstairs, she hurried up to her room, with Gadget on her arm.
"Sit quietly," she told the owl as she sat at her desk and pulled out the parchment and a quill. Quickly, she scribbled out a note to Harry, explaining what was happening and to tell Ron she sent her love. With tears in her eyes, she told him she was thinking of them every day and hoped to see them soon. "Love, Hermione," she wrote, soft tears spotting the page and smearing the ink. She rolled the letter up and tied it to Gadget's leg.
"Be careful," she told him before letting him loose out of her window. "Make sure you bring back a reply!" After she watched Gadget sail out of sight, she collapsed on her bed, sobbing heavily. The strain of a wedding was too much on most adults; how was she, a seventeen-year old girl, supposed to handle it? The thought was almost too ridiculous to comprehend, a seventeen-year old girl getting married. How dumb was that idea? She could barely look after herself, let alone a husband.
"Are you okay?" Draco's voice floated through the door, full of concern. "Drutenda said you had come downstairs for breakfast, but hurried away awfully fast."
Could she trust him? Could she tell him that she was trying to correspond with Harry? Draco had been considerably nicer during these past few weeks, but could it all be an act, just to keep an eye on her? Would he run to Daddy as soon as she told him?
"I'm fine," she said, sniffling. "I was just a little tired, that's all, so I came back up to lie down for a bit."
"Okay," he replied, sounding unconvinced. "Well, if you need anything, you know where I'll be." His footsteps echoed away and she lay back on her bed, grateful for the narrow escape.
Gadget returned with a reply that very evening. She and Draco had been taken to see their future house that day, the home that Hermione would help maintain after they had been married. It wasn't just a bad dream anymore; she was going to marry Draco Malfoy. At times, it didn't seem real, but then reality would come crashing down on her peaceful world and destroy all the inner hopes she had.
As soon as Gadget flew through her open window, she tore the envelope from his leg and opened it eagerly. "That was quick," she thought to herself. But instead of Harry's handwriting, she noticed a handwriting she had never seen before.
"Nice try," the note read, "but I thought I warned you about trying to sneak notes out of your room."
"Lucius," she muttered, crumpling the note in her hand. What was he doing, spying on her window? It made her sick to think of what he had been doing, but she ignored the fact and continued on with her evening routine, pretending that she hadn't sent a thing.
The only thing that kept Hermione's sanity during the long, lonely days at Malfoy Manor was Lily's diaries. She had managed to keep them away from Lucius' prying eyes and was grateful that there was no way he could take them away from her. Often, she would sneak them out to the garden and instead of read them, just flip through the pages casually, thinking of how it must have been for Lily, being torn between James Potter and Remus Lupin. Having seen only pictures of Harry's father, Hermione found herself rooting for Lupin. Although she knew the outcome, she enjoyed reading of how Lupin had made Lily feel.
We broke up, she wrote one day. Remus was afraid that he was going to injure me when he transformed during the full moon. No matter how much I tried to persuade him that he wouldn't, he insisted that it was for the best. It kills me every time I kiss James because I know that Remus is the one I should really be with. He loves me. And I love him.
Each day, Lily's writings got more and more detailed. She often talked about how rich Lupin made her feel and how she never thought James could match up to him. I often wonder if Remus wanted to get rid of me so he pawned me off on James. I mean, it's likely because Remus is a popular guy. A Prefect, good-looking, a great sense of humour and he's fun to be around. That's a very rare combination, especially since he's mature, too, not at all like James. James is fun to be around and incredibly good- looking, but I love Remus! My heart will always belong to him.
Lily's words often brought tears to Hermione's eyes, for she could relate to what Lily had gone through. She had been forced to give up the one she loved in order to better herself. Hermione knew that deep down inside, some part of her truly loved Ron. But her dilemma was much more prominent than that. Draco's sense of kindness and well being made Hermione rethink ever going against him. She began to enjoy his company and look forward to the time they would spent together. Away from school, he really was the perfect gentleman and Hermione liked it. As much as her heart strayed away to Ron, she always managed to bring it back to the place she had deemed 'New Home'. Malfoy Manor had been her home for almost two months now and it was time she started facing up to it. But there was still the matter of Draco.
Two days later, however, all thoughts involving the wedding and Draco were erased from her mind. She received an owl in the early hours of the morning, telling her something she most definitely did not want to hear.
She awoke to a soft pecking sound that sounded an awful lot like water dripping from a faucet. Opening her eyes slowly, she was greeted by the sight of Harry's large, snowy white owl, Hedwig, at the window. She was flapping her wings impatiently so Hermione hurried to open the window for her. She swooped inside, hooting softly, and Hermione hushed her.
"If Draco's father catches you, he'll kill the both of us," she told the owl quietly. Quickly she untied the letter from the owl's leg and stroked her gently while she read the letter. Her heart sank at the first sentence.
"Hermione, this is something you are not going to want to know, but since I know you still care about Ron, I will tell you. He was in an accident recently. Mr. Weasley got another car, but didn't bewitch this one to fly. Ron decided one day, on a dare from the twins that he was going to try and drive the car across their lawn. Of course, the only car he's ever driven was the Ford Anglia, and that was in the air. He wasn't used to dodging around all the objects on the ground and managed to crash into the empty henhouse on their property.
"He's alright, but the doctors are keeping him at St. Mungo's for awhile, just to be sure. He's been asking for you, Hermione, so we would all really appreciate it if you could find some way to come visit him, even for a short period of time. He's really out of it, but he keeps saying that he wants to see you and he has something to tell you. Send a reply back with Hedwig as soon as you can. I'm at the Burrow right now. Love, Harry."
Tears formed in Hermione's eyes. Ron had been in an accident and was asking to see her? The last time they saw each other, he didn't breathe so much as a word to her, yet now he wanted to talk? And how was she supposed to get there? Lucius didn't want her even corresponding with Harry and Ron, let alone going to visit them. No, it was most definitely out of the question to ask him. Even if Ron was seriously hurt, she doubted that Lucius would be kind enough to let her go see him. It seemed almost hopeless.
Then it dawned on her: Draco! He had been a little more tolerable since they arrived at Malfoy Manor; maybe he could find a way to get her to St. Mungo's. If only she had taken her Apparation test before she left school, she could apparate in the hospital. But she had been foolish enough to keep pushing it back, and now she was stranded.
Grabbing her quill and parchment from her desk, she sat on her bed, using a book to write on, and wrote a quick note back to Harry. "Harry, I don't know how I will get there, but I will try to find a way. Tell Ron not to worry and I hope I will see him soon. Lucius doesn't want me even talking to you guys, so I'm going to try and talk to Draco to see if he can help me. I'll let you know for sure soon. Love, Hermione."
She tied the letter to Hedwig's leg and whispered to her gently. "Be careful, Hedwig, don't let Lucius see you." She carried Hedwig to the open window and watched as the great white snowy owl soared through the sky and over the treetops and out of sight. Sighing, she decided that there was nothing left to do but to wait for Draco to wake up and ask him how she could get out of the house.
His reaction was nothing like she had expected. "There is a way," he had agreed slowly. Hermione, who had her case all prepared and was ready to argue, stopped short.
"What?"
"There is a way," Draco repeated, looking thoughtful. The two of them were sitting outside on the bench later that day and Hermione had approached the subject tentatively. "But it's getting around Father that's going to be the problem."
"That's what I'm afraid of," she muttered miserably. "Tell me if it will be too much trouble and I'll find my own way."
"It's not too much trouble," Draco said, still looking rather thoughtful. "It's more complicated than anything." He leaned closer to her, resting his elbows on his knees. "There's a secret passage under the mansion that leads directly to the field outside the hospital. It was built in case one day one of us needed to get to the hospital and didn't want to be seen."
"Boy, you guys really have thought of everything."
Draco shrugged. "I guess. Anyway, the passageway is concealed behind the painting in the main foyer, you know the one of my great-aunt that looks like she's always got a lemon in her mouth?"
Hermione giggled. "Yeah, I know that one. The other day, she told me that I looked sour."
"Right. Anyway, we just need to get past her, because she will start screaming for my father and mother if she sees us trying to get through there."
"Us?"
"Well, yeah. I'm not letting you go alone. Besides, I know the way," he added quickly, but Hermione saw him blush. "We could go later on at night and spent the night in town."
"Are you crazy?" Hermione screeched. "If your father catches us, we'll be slaughtered!"
"That's why we don't get caught," Draco said, leaning even closer to her and smiling. For a split second, Hermione was almost sure he was going to kiss her. She prepared herself to pull back but instead, Draco sat up straight. "If we're going to do it, we had better do it soon."
"Yeah," Hermione said absentmindedly. She wasn't sure how Ron would react to Draco showing up with her at his hospital bedside. Whatever he wanted to tell her was obviously a private matter or else he would have written it in a letter.
"Tonight." Draco's voice yanked her out of her thoughts and she stared at him blankly. "Tonight," he repeated in the same triumphant tone. "Tonight, we'll wait until everyone has gone to bed. Usually around midnight, Great Aunt Rose takes a trip up to the third landing to visit her brother. We'll wait in the kitchen until she's gone, then make a quick dash for it. We'll stay somewhere in the town and wait until the hospital opens in the morning."
"You've been thinking this through," Hermione said, impressed. She smiled her approval, trying to think of a light way to break it to Draco that she didn't want him around when she saw Ron. He was being so helpful and she didn't want to hurt him. "Look, about when we get to the hospital," she began but he cut her off.
"I'll wait outside," he told her, smiling. "I won't intrude on that, don't worry. Besides I don't think Potter and Weasley will want to see me." Hermione was surprised to hear the amount of hatred in his voice when he said their names. It had seemed so long ago when they had all been enemies at school. She remembered times when he had called her a Mudblood and how she absolutely despised him for it. The amount of rage and hatred that had flowed through her veins was similar to that of the pain she had felt when her mother told her she agreed with the pre-arranged marriage.
For the rest of the day, Hermione spent restless hours in her room, going through Lily's diaries. She was finally on the third book and Lily had married James and just found out she was pregnant with Harry. I can't believe I'm starting a family with the man I once despised, she wrote in her careful, neat writing. Any day now, I expect Sirius and Peter to jump out from somewhere and tell me that it's all a joke and that James doesn't love me. I expect them to say that it was all a cruel joke and now I have to raise this baby by myself because James is just childish enough to go back and choose his friends over me. I knew I should have stayed with Remus.
Hermione felt the sting of these words. It was like Lily didn't love James; but she had to, didn't she? Hermione had tried telling herself since February that you had to marry someone you loved, or else the marriage wasn't real? But how did Lily's situation differ from Hermione's? It didn't. Both girls had given up the man they truly loved for someone they, or others, had deemed more appropriate for them. Hermione could relate to the pain Lily was feeling, in some extent, so she continued to read on.
Speaking of Remus, I received a letter from him the other day. He wrote both James and I but enclosed a tightly bound letter that only I could open. In the letter to the both of us, he spoke of how he was so happy for us to be starting a family and how he couldn't wait to see the baby when he or she is born. But his letter to me was filled with lustful comments about how he still loves me and every day he regrets the decision we both made. 'Lily, if I could do things over again, I would,' he wrote, 'but the past is the past and we have to move on. I still love you and I always will, please remember that.' And I will remember that, because I still love him, too.
"I know, it's impressive," Draco said in a mock tone of superiority. "He's been itching to get at me with his wand for years."
"You mean kill you?" Hermione was horrified but Draco's laughter stopped her from crying aloud.
"Not kill me," he assured her. "More like give me a pair of antlers, or stick a permanent sign on me that reads 'Bad Son'. Either way, it doesn't bother me."
"Your mother seems, well, odd," Hermione tentatively said, for lack of better words.
"You're being kind," Draco replied bitterly. "She does everything Father says, follows him everywhere. It's kind of sick, if you think about it. The woman can't think for herself."
Hermione nodded, looking down on the ground. Slowly, she turned her eyes upwards to Draco, who was sitting so casually on the bench beside her. His hair was falling over one of his eyes and he had both arms stretched out over the back of the bench. Hermione had leaned forward to avoid his touch, but sat back, figuring eventually she would have to get used to him.
"It's getting late," Draco said suddenly, standing up and stretching. "I think I'll go to bed soon."
"It's barely even nine."
"Well I like to get an early night's sleep." He smiled softly at her, almost thoughtfully, before he left. "Don't worry about Dad," he told her quietly. "He'll get over it eventually." He winked at her and left her in the dark, feeling lost and confused.
Hermione received an answer back from her parents the following Monday morning. She eagerly tore open the envelope, scanning it quickly for news on Ron or Harry. To her disappointment, the only reference was when her mother spoke of going into town. "We saw your friends, Harry and Ron, but I don't think they recognized us. They were having a good time, staring in the windows of the Quidditch shop."
Hermione couldn't help but feel a little let down that Ron and Harry wouldn't have recognized her own parents. After all, they had met them several times before. But her spirits lifted when she saw that they had sent Hermione's own owl, Gadget. Quickly, before anyone else came downstairs, she hurried up to her room, with Gadget on her arm.
"Sit quietly," she told the owl as she sat at her desk and pulled out the parchment and a quill. Quickly, she scribbled out a note to Harry, explaining what was happening and to tell Ron she sent her love. With tears in her eyes, she told him she was thinking of them every day and hoped to see them soon. "Love, Hermione," she wrote, soft tears spotting the page and smearing the ink. She rolled the letter up and tied it to Gadget's leg.
"Be careful," she told him before letting him loose out of her window. "Make sure you bring back a reply!" After she watched Gadget sail out of sight, she collapsed on her bed, sobbing heavily. The strain of a wedding was too much on most adults; how was she, a seventeen-year old girl, supposed to handle it? The thought was almost too ridiculous to comprehend, a seventeen-year old girl getting married. How dumb was that idea? She could barely look after herself, let alone a husband.
"Are you okay?" Draco's voice floated through the door, full of concern. "Drutenda said you had come downstairs for breakfast, but hurried away awfully fast."
Could she trust him? Could she tell him that she was trying to correspond with Harry? Draco had been considerably nicer during these past few weeks, but could it all be an act, just to keep an eye on her? Would he run to Daddy as soon as she told him?
"I'm fine," she said, sniffling. "I was just a little tired, that's all, so I came back up to lie down for a bit."
"Okay," he replied, sounding unconvinced. "Well, if you need anything, you know where I'll be." His footsteps echoed away and she lay back on her bed, grateful for the narrow escape.
Gadget returned with a reply that very evening. She and Draco had been taken to see their future house that day, the home that Hermione would help maintain after they had been married. It wasn't just a bad dream anymore; she was going to marry Draco Malfoy. At times, it didn't seem real, but then reality would come crashing down on her peaceful world and destroy all the inner hopes she had.
As soon as Gadget flew through her open window, she tore the envelope from his leg and opened it eagerly. "That was quick," she thought to herself. But instead of Harry's handwriting, she noticed a handwriting she had never seen before.
"Nice try," the note read, "but I thought I warned you about trying to sneak notes out of your room."
"Lucius," she muttered, crumpling the note in her hand. What was he doing, spying on her window? It made her sick to think of what he had been doing, but she ignored the fact and continued on with her evening routine, pretending that she hadn't sent a thing.
The only thing that kept Hermione's sanity during the long, lonely days at Malfoy Manor was Lily's diaries. She had managed to keep them away from Lucius' prying eyes and was grateful that there was no way he could take them away from her. Often, she would sneak them out to the garden and instead of read them, just flip through the pages casually, thinking of how it must have been for Lily, being torn between James Potter and Remus Lupin. Having seen only pictures of Harry's father, Hermione found herself rooting for Lupin. Although she knew the outcome, she enjoyed reading of how Lupin had made Lily feel.
We broke up, she wrote one day. Remus was afraid that he was going to injure me when he transformed during the full moon. No matter how much I tried to persuade him that he wouldn't, he insisted that it was for the best. It kills me every time I kiss James because I know that Remus is the one I should really be with. He loves me. And I love him.
Each day, Lily's writings got more and more detailed. She often talked about how rich Lupin made her feel and how she never thought James could match up to him. I often wonder if Remus wanted to get rid of me so he pawned me off on James. I mean, it's likely because Remus is a popular guy. A Prefect, good-looking, a great sense of humour and he's fun to be around. That's a very rare combination, especially since he's mature, too, not at all like James. James is fun to be around and incredibly good- looking, but I love Remus! My heart will always belong to him.
Lily's words often brought tears to Hermione's eyes, for she could relate to what Lily had gone through. She had been forced to give up the one she loved in order to better herself. Hermione knew that deep down inside, some part of her truly loved Ron. But her dilemma was much more prominent than that. Draco's sense of kindness and well being made Hermione rethink ever going against him. She began to enjoy his company and look forward to the time they would spent together. Away from school, he really was the perfect gentleman and Hermione liked it. As much as her heart strayed away to Ron, she always managed to bring it back to the place she had deemed 'New Home'. Malfoy Manor had been her home for almost two months now and it was time she started facing up to it. But there was still the matter of Draco.
Two days later, however, all thoughts involving the wedding and Draco were erased from her mind. She received an owl in the early hours of the morning, telling her something she most definitely did not want to hear.
She awoke to a soft pecking sound that sounded an awful lot like water dripping from a faucet. Opening her eyes slowly, she was greeted by the sight of Harry's large, snowy white owl, Hedwig, at the window. She was flapping her wings impatiently so Hermione hurried to open the window for her. She swooped inside, hooting softly, and Hermione hushed her.
"If Draco's father catches you, he'll kill the both of us," she told the owl quietly. Quickly she untied the letter from the owl's leg and stroked her gently while she read the letter. Her heart sank at the first sentence.
"Hermione, this is something you are not going to want to know, but since I know you still care about Ron, I will tell you. He was in an accident recently. Mr. Weasley got another car, but didn't bewitch this one to fly. Ron decided one day, on a dare from the twins that he was going to try and drive the car across their lawn. Of course, the only car he's ever driven was the Ford Anglia, and that was in the air. He wasn't used to dodging around all the objects on the ground and managed to crash into the empty henhouse on their property.
"He's alright, but the doctors are keeping him at St. Mungo's for awhile, just to be sure. He's been asking for you, Hermione, so we would all really appreciate it if you could find some way to come visit him, even for a short period of time. He's really out of it, but he keeps saying that he wants to see you and he has something to tell you. Send a reply back with Hedwig as soon as you can. I'm at the Burrow right now. Love, Harry."
Tears formed in Hermione's eyes. Ron had been in an accident and was asking to see her? The last time they saw each other, he didn't breathe so much as a word to her, yet now he wanted to talk? And how was she supposed to get there? Lucius didn't want her even corresponding with Harry and Ron, let alone going to visit them. No, it was most definitely out of the question to ask him. Even if Ron was seriously hurt, she doubted that Lucius would be kind enough to let her go see him. It seemed almost hopeless.
Then it dawned on her: Draco! He had been a little more tolerable since they arrived at Malfoy Manor; maybe he could find a way to get her to St. Mungo's. If only she had taken her Apparation test before she left school, she could apparate in the hospital. But she had been foolish enough to keep pushing it back, and now she was stranded.
Grabbing her quill and parchment from her desk, she sat on her bed, using a book to write on, and wrote a quick note back to Harry. "Harry, I don't know how I will get there, but I will try to find a way. Tell Ron not to worry and I hope I will see him soon. Lucius doesn't want me even talking to you guys, so I'm going to try and talk to Draco to see if he can help me. I'll let you know for sure soon. Love, Hermione."
She tied the letter to Hedwig's leg and whispered to her gently. "Be careful, Hedwig, don't let Lucius see you." She carried Hedwig to the open window and watched as the great white snowy owl soared through the sky and over the treetops and out of sight. Sighing, she decided that there was nothing left to do but to wait for Draco to wake up and ask him how she could get out of the house.
His reaction was nothing like she had expected. "There is a way," he had agreed slowly. Hermione, who had her case all prepared and was ready to argue, stopped short.
"What?"
"There is a way," Draco repeated, looking thoughtful. The two of them were sitting outside on the bench later that day and Hermione had approached the subject tentatively. "But it's getting around Father that's going to be the problem."
"That's what I'm afraid of," she muttered miserably. "Tell me if it will be too much trouble and I'll find my own way."
"It's not too much trouble," Draco said, still looking rather thoughtful. "It's more complicated than anything." He leaned closer to her, resting his elbows on his knees. "There's a secret passage under the mansion that leads directly to the field outside the hospital. It was built in case one day one of us needed to get to the hospital and didn't want to be seen."
"Boy, you guys really have thought of everything."
Draco shrugged. "I guess. Anyway, the passageway is concealed behind the painting in the main foyer, you know the one of my great-aunt that looks like she's always got a lemon in her mouth?"
Hermione giggled. "Yeah, I know that one. The other day, she told me that I looked sour."
"Right. Anyway, we just need to get past her, because she will start screaming for my father and mother if she sees us trying to get through there."
"Us?"
"Well, yeah. I'm not letting you go alone. Besides, I know the way," he added quickly, but Hermione saw him blush. "We could go later on at night and spent the night in town."
"Are you crazy?" Hermione screeched. "If your father catches us, we'll be slaughtered!"
"That's why we don't get caught," Draco said, leaning even closer to her and smiling. For a split second, Hermione was almost sure he was going to kiss her. She prepared herself to pull back but instead, Draco sat up straight. "If we're going to do it, we had better do it soon."
"Yeah," Hermione said absentmindedly. She wasn't sure how Ron would react to Draco showing up with her at his hospital bedside. Whatever he wanted to tell her was obviously a private matter or else he would have written it in a letter.
"Tonight." Draco's voice yanked her out of her thoughts and she stared at him blankly. "Tonight," he repeated in the same triumphant tone. "Tonight, we'll wait until everyone has gone to bed. Usually around midnight, Great Aunt Rose takes a trip up to the third landing to visit her brother. We'll wait in the kitchen until she's gone, then make a quick dash for it. We'll stay somewhere in the town and wait until the hospital opens in the morning."
"You've been thinking this through," Hermione said, impressed. She smiled her approval, trying to think of a light way to break it to Draco that she didn't want him around when she saw Ron. He was being so helpful and she didn't want to hurt him. "Look, about when we get to the hospital," she began but he cut her off.
"I'll wait outside," he told her, smiling. "I won't intrude on that, don't worry. Besides I don't think Potter and Weasley will want to see me." Hermione was surprised to hear the amount of hatred in his voice when he said their names. It had seemed so long ago when they had all been enemies at school. She remembered times when he had called her a Mudblood and how she absolutely despised him for it. The amount of rage and hatred that had flowed through her veins was similar to that of the pain she had felt when her mother told her she agreed with the pre-arranged marriage.
For the rest of the day, Hermione spent restless hours in her room, going through Lily's diaries. She was finally on the third book and Lily had married James and just found out she was pregnant with Harry. I can't believe I'm starting a family with the man I once despised, she wrote in her careful, neat writing. Any day now, I expect Sirius and Peter to jump out from somewhere and tell me that it's all a joke and that James doesn't love me. I expect them to say that it was all a cruel joke and now I have to raise this baby by myself because James is just childish enough to go back and choose his friends over me. I knew I should have stayed with Remus.
Hermione felt the sting of these words. It was like Lily didn't love James; but she had to, didn't she? Hermione had tried telling herself since February that you had to marry someone you loved, or else the marriage wasn't real? But how did Lily's situation differ from Hermione's? It didn't. Both girls had given up the man they truly loved for someone they, or others, had deemed more appropriate for them. Hermione could relate to the pain Lily was feeling, in some extent, so she continued to read on.
Speaking of Remus, I received a letter from him the other day. He wrote both James and I but enclosed a tightly bound letter that only I could open. In the letter to the both of us, he spoke of how he was so happy for us to be starting a family and how he couldn't wait to see the baby when he or she is born. But his letter to me was filled with lustful comments about how he still loves me and every day he regrets the decision we both made. 'Lily, if I could do things over again, I would,' he wrote, 'but the past is the past and we have to move on. I still love you and I always will, please remember that.' And I will remember that, because I still love him, too.
