***The Marauder Chronicles is a fan fiction. It isn't to be sold, reproduced or taken as true. Most Characters and locations belong to J.K. Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended.***



Author's Note: Again, sorry it took me so long. The next chapter won't be up for a while, but it's coming. On a lighter note, I have no idea how many people actually read this story, because not everyone leaves a review. If I don't speak to you personally, can you leave something signifying that you have read my fic, just to give me an idea of how many people read it? It doesn't have to be long or anything, you can even say that you hate it, just something so I know how many read. I am accepting Anonymous reviews, so you don't have to register. Thank you. Sorry to keep you waiting.



Part Four: The Long Awaited Match

"When the surreal becomes reality...your heart will crumble."

James turned and walked back to the portrait but stopped himself. He started to pace in the corridor until the portrait swung open, then he started on his way in some random direction.

"James," Sirius said sounding nothing more than shocked. He quickly turned around to face him.

"Hey," James said. Sirius walked towards him and put his hand on James's shoulder.

"Are you alright?" he asked. James nodded slowly then started walking again. "Where are you going?" Sirius asked.

"Um," James said quietly, "I was going to go beat the bludgers around. Will you come with me?" he asked.

"Yeah, of course I will." Sirius put his arm on James's shoulder and walked him down to the field. Once there, James picked up Sam's beater club and released the two bludgers from the trunk. He mounted his broom and lifted up into the air. The first bludger came near him fast and he swung hard smacking it to Sirius who hit it back. It was very intense, having two bludgers for two people, that is. James kept hitting them constantly for over an hour, ignoring the soreness and fatigue in his body.

Finally, Sirius caught one of them and flew down to the ground and locked it up. James didn't move. He kept hitting the single bludger in the air, over and over and over again. Sirius sat on the trunk and just watched him.

James switched hands and started to beat the bludger with his left. Sirius sighed, but kept watching him. It didn't seem real to him. He never thought James and Lily would call it quits; it just never came into his mind.

James kept smacking the bludger, even though he was in pain, both physically and emotionally. At long last he dropped the club, caught the bludger, and headed down to the ground. Sirius walked over to him to take the bludger and pick up the club.

"Help me carry this?" Sirius asked. James nodded and picked up one side of the trunk and helped Sirius carry it to the locker room. They didn't speak on their way to the locker room or to the castle.

"You want to have dinner?" Sirius asked him as they approached the Great Hall. James shook his head and kept walking.

"You can," he said to Sirius. Sirius smiled at him but walked with James to the Common Room. James stopped at the portrait. "What if..." he started to ask, but Sirius got the message. He walked to the entrance, gave the password, then walked inside. James waited in the corridor.

"No. Come in," Sirius said. James walked inside and heard all conversations stop as he passed. Everyone looked at him as if he was from another planet. But he tried to ignore them as he followed Sirius up to his dorm. It seemed like hours before he got to the door and walked inside.

"James," Remus said, getting off his bed and going to him, "are you okay?" James nodded casually but didn't say anything. He went to his trunk, pulled out his sweat pants and shirt, and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

"Sirius, how is he really?" Remus asked him when they heard the water turn on in the bathroom.

"I have never seen him like this. I think he's miserable. I still can't believe it happened."

"Me neither. I wanted to talk to Liz about it, but all of the seventh year girls are in the dorm with Lily."

"Did anyone pick up the ring and necklace?" Sirius asked.

"I did," Remus said. He pulled them out of his pocket and gave them to Sirius. Sirius took them and walked over to his trunk and placed them carefully inside.

"What are we going to do?" Sirius asked him. "This isn't right. That was not supposed to happen."

"I know. But I don't know what to say-- to both of them. Yeah, James shouldn't have spent so much time with Quidditch, but Lily and Snape?"

"Well," Sirius said, "we'll just have to see what happens. Has she come out of the dorm yet?"

"No."

Sirius sat on his bed and stared out the window. He was hungry, but he felt guilty about leaving James. Then Peter came in through the door.

"Where is he?" Peter asked.

"Shower," Sirius said.

"The whole school is talking about it," Peter said.

"Imagine that," Sirius replied.

"I'm sure Slytherin is happy. The game is in their hands, and James's heart is on a golden platter. I feel so bad. Why didn't any of us see this coming?" Remus asked.

Sirius shook his head and lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Remus and Peter sat down and kept quiet, having nothing important to say.

James spent thirty minutes in the shower and came out with his wet hair drooping into his eyes which gave him a desperate look. Sirius, Remus, and Peter all looked up at him but didn't speak. James drew back his curtains, laid down, and closed himself in without a single word to them. He lay his wet head on his pillow and closed his eyes, wishing that he would just stop thinking as his lids lowered.

Sirius got up silently and left the dorm. Remus and Peter followed. When the got downstairs they met Liz who was on her way up. She smiled weakly at the three of them but didn't stop to chat. Remus, however, held her back.

"I have to go back up there," she said to him.

"How long was it going on?" Remus asked. Sirius and Peter watched and listened.

Liz hesitated, "I don't know if it's right for me to discuss this with all of you. I have to go back up there and be with her. You understand."

"How is she taking it?" Sirius asked. Liz smiled weakly.

"How do you think she's taking it? How would you take it? You heard what he said to her. Look, Lily doesn't like Snape like that. I don't even know if she likes him as a friend. She wanted his attention, James's that is, but he didn't even see her. She thought that making him jealous would get his attention, but he burned her. She's been sobbing uncontrollably for hours. I have to go back. I'll see you in the morning." Liz left the three of them feeling really thickheaded.

"Should we tell him that?" Remus asked, but Sirius shook his head.

"I don't think it would even matter. Lily doesn't know that Snape tried to poison her, she likes to see the good in people rather than the bad, but Snape is evil. Snape probably celebrated when Voldemort killed James's father. James knows that, and he knows Snape lusts for Lily. Lily doesn't. Maybe if she knew...I don't know. It's too soon to start thinking about all of this. I'm gonna go try to eat something. You two can come with me if you want." The two of them followed Sirius to the Great Hall, silently thinking of what came next.

* * * * *

Sirius was rudely awakened the next morning by high activity in the bathroom. He tried very hard to go back to sleep, but the moron made so much damn noise. Sirius covered his ears with his pillow, but he could still hear clanking and scraping. Sirius pulled the pillow off his head, moved the curtains of his four poster, and looked at his watch. It took him a second for his eyes to focus, then he just thought he was hallucinating.

"Five? That's impossible. Who the hell is up at five?" Sirius threw off his covers and walked to the bathroom. He knocked on the door and waited.

"What?" James asked when he opened it.

"James? It's five. What are you doing?" Sirius asked through a yawn. He could see that James was fully dressed and had combed his hair, a futile effort, and appeared to have bleached his teeth.

"Rearranging the bathroom," he responded and opened the door fully.

"Re-rearranging the bathroom?" Sirius asked confused.

"Yes, don't make me repeat myself," James said. Sirius looked inside the bathroom and found that James wasn't bluffing. Things had moved.

"Why?" Sirius asked confused.

"Why?" James repeated quickly getting agitated. "Why, you ask? Because I don't like it."

"Oh," Sirius said, trying to sound convinced. "Yeah I can see now. I mean I too was getting...bored with the logical placement of the bathroom appliances. Yes I understand the move...now."

"What do you want?" James asked.

"Well you're being a little on the loud side, and though I am very grateful for your consideration and care for our bathroom, I don't know that the others would share in my opinion."

"Well it needs to be done," James said defensively.

"Oh and I agree," Sirius lied quickly. "It's just that it's a tad bit early for it. Maybe you should try sleeping."

"No. No, I won't sleep when there are things to be done. If you're not going to help me, then just leave me alone." Sirius didn't really know what to do with James and his very strange behavior, so he left him to it. Sirius went over to his trunk and removed his wand so he could place the silencing charm on the bathroom so James wouldn't wake anyone else in his work. Sirius got back under his covers and closed his eyes in an attempt to fall asleep.

He sighed and rolled on his side; he was very comfortable. Then someone threw his curtains back and started shaking him.

"Sirius, get up," James said. Sirius opened his right eye and looked at him.

"Why?" he asked.

"Breakfast. I'm starving, get up."

"B-Breakfast? N-now?"

"Yes, now. And why do you keep stuttering? Are you alright?" Sirius thought that this was a very strange question for him to be asking.

"It's five, James," Sirius whispered.

"Your point being?" James asked. But he didn't wait for Sirius to answer. James lifted him out of bed, gave him his robes, and told him to hurry. Sirius complied reluctantly. Once he put on his shoes and fastened his cloak around his neck, James yanked him by the arm and dragged him to the Great Hall. Not to Sirius's surprise, no one was in there.

"Where is everyone?" James asked.

"Bed. It's five in the morning," Sirius said, rubbing his eyes.

"You keep saying that like it's significant."

"It is. No one is awake at five."

James pulled Sirius again and dragged him to the Gryffindor table and made him sit down. Sirius, for once, was grateful. He put his head on the table and shut his eyes. He tried to imagine a bed in a cloud, far above the earth where he couldn't be bothered. It would have been nice to sleep there, he thought.

"You're not falling asleep are you?" James asked him.

"Why would I fall asleep at five in the morning?" he asked.

"I'm going to the kitchens, you want anything?" he asked.

"No thanks," Sirius said through a yawn. James got up and walked down to the large portrait of the fruit bowl and tickled the pear so the door would open. The elves were very happy to see him and pulled him inside.

He tried to smile at them, but his facial muscles failed him. They seemed to grasp the fact that he wasn't himself, which really wasn't that hard, and they give him plenty of food. He said he was thankful and promised to see them all soon and then left.

Upon arriving back into the Great Hall, James found Sirius snoring. James sighed with disapproval but didn't wake him. He sat down and devoured the food that could have fed three people, then he stared at his snoring friend. Sirius felt James constantly staring at him, and he woke.

"I'm going to go to the tower," James said.

"To sleep?" Sirius asked.

"No, Divination."

"James, that's not for three hours."

"I know. I'm going. See you around." James got up from the table and left. Sirius watched him leave; his head bent in sorrow. Sirius got up and ran after him to walk beside him on the way to the tower, and James was grateful.

But it was very early and the rope ladder wasn't lowered, so they sat against the castle wall and waited. James brought his knees close to his chest, crossed his arms on top of them and dropped his head.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sirius asked. He didn't really know what to do, but figured it was the best thing to ask.

James shook his head and closed his eyes. Neither of them spoke for three hours, they just waited.

At long last, the rope ladder fell. James jumped off the ground and helped Sirius up, then he climbed. He moved to the table in the very back corner so people wouldn't look at him as much. Sirius sat with him and waited for the class to arrive. Luckily, Remus and Peter were first to enter and they darted over to the table.

James did his best to cover his emotions and he put on a smile. "Hey," he said to them as if it was a regular day. They both looked at him with sympathy, which he hated.

"Hey," Remus said. "Where were you guys? I looked everywhere for you?"

"We were up at five," Sirius said smiling, "We had breakfast."

"I had breakfast, you snored. How did you guys like the new bathroom?" James asked smirking.

Remus and Peter looked strangely at James. "It's nice," they said. "How are you feeling?" Peter asked him.

"Oh, never felt better," he said and smiled widely again. Remus and Peter sat down across from him.

"What did you do to your teeth?" Peter asked.

"You like them?" James asked, "I bleached them. I always wanted to, but never got around to it. So I did it this morning."

"They look nice, James," Remus said. When the class filled, Trelawny made her mystical appearance. James noticed a number of students turning back to look at him, and he did his best to smile.

"Great pain, my dears. I can feel it, I have foreseen it in my crystal gazing," she said. Everyone turned to look at James who suddenly became interested in the clouds outside the window.  "It is not the last time you will cry," she said looking directly at James. He smiled at her.

"I haven't cried," he said.

"Oh you will," she said spookily. "You will." James started to get irritated with her. He didn't like people looking at him as if he was a delicate flower ready to wilt.

"And I suppose you're not going to tell me when that is, now, are you?" he asked defiantly. She lowered her head but kept eye contact with him. She smiled evilly.

"I will, but not now." James felt a shiver run up his spine, and he jumped. Trelawny started talking normal again, and people were watching her instead of him.

"She's starting to creep me out," he whispered to Sirius. Sirius looked at him and grinned.

"Why?" he asked curiously.

James sniggered, "Didn't you just hear what she said to me?" he asked. Sirius looked truly confused and shook his head.

"She said that...well that I would cry again, and she'd tell me when but not now....didn't you hear her say that?" But Sirius looked at him unusually.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright?" he asked him. James looked at Remus who was also staring at him with confusion.

"Remus, tell me you heard her say that." But Remus also shook his head. James heard his heart beating very quickly and felt cold sweat on the back of his neck. Was he hallucinating? Did she really talk to him, like she did before? James sat back in his chair and put his hand on his forehead.

"Do you need to see the nurse?" Sirius asked. James shook his head again. He looked up at Trelawny again and felt a sudden headache but didn't move.

"She was right, then, wasn't she?" Peter asked James.

"What are you talking about?" James asked.

"Your dream that you had with her in it, remember? She said you'd have a terrible fight, and you did, with Lily," Peter whispered. Both Sirius and Remus hadn't thought of that before. But James did, he remembered as soon as he saw Trelawny's face.

"What do you make of that?" Sirius asked. "Do you think it was real?" James shrugged, then looked down at his bag and decided to pull out a book, but his head just started to hammer him. He got up suddenly, which caused everyone to look at him, and started for the ladder.

"Where are you going?" Trelawny asked.

"What, you don't know? I thought you could see into the future." James jumped down the ladder and caught one more look of Trelawny's face: she looked displaced. James skipped the last few steps and hit the ground a little harder than he would have liked. The fact was, he didn't know where he was going, he just didn't want to be in there. He put his hands in his robe pockets and shuffled down the corridor.

He thought about her, but really didn't want to. He kept seeing her face, her sad heartbroken face when he said those words. James shook his head and walked into the bathroom. No one was in there, and he was glad.

He walked over to the sink and turned on the water. It poured out of the facet like it always did, but it looked different. James took off his glasses and put them on the sink so that he could splash his face. It was very cold, but he didn't mind it. He passed his wet hands through his hair and pulled it, almost wishing it would come out. Then he looked up slowly and gazed at his image in the mirror. His hand fumbled around for his glasses to put on his face so he could really look closely. James had never looked carefully at his reflection before.

He had a thin face, though it was well chiseled with an athletic jaw. His eyes were sky blue, covered by round glasses. He hadn't always had those frames. He overheard Lily saying she liked the round ones better, like some musician had. Why did he have to think of her? He pressed hard on his head, trying to flatten his hair, but it stuck up. Then he felt a pain in his eyes, and as he looked into the mirror he saw a single tear roll down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away and gripped the edge of the sink as he stared downwards.

"Don't cry," he said to himself. "Don't cry." He looked back in the mirror, but something kept ringing inside his head, something he wished he wouldn't hear: "You always have to be on top, don't you? Always have to be the best and Hell will freeze over they day you admit you're wrong. Open your eyes, you're not that great."

Another tear leaked out, then another and another until he lost count. They were very cold tears; as each one dripped down his face he shivered. James couldn't stand to look at himself anymore. His knees gave way, and he collapsed in a heap on the floor, though he still held onto the sink. He kept replaying those words over and over in his mind which only caused him more pain. James crawled to the corner of the room and sat there, hating himself.

By the time James pulled himself out of his corner, the bell rang. He wiped his eyes and told himself everything would be fine, though he still thought otherwise. James checked the mirror again and saw his eyes were very red and bloodshot, but he really didn't want the whole school knowing that he cried in the bathroom. He washed his face and stayed in there a little longer hoping that his eyes would go back to normal.

Then he stepped out and walked quickly to the History of Magic class. He noticed that all of the Gryffindor girls gave him nasty looks as they passed him. He tried ignoring them.

When he got into Professor Binns's class, he saw that Sirius had picked the table in the far back corner, which made him think of Lily again. Why did he have to pick that table from all the rest?

"Sirius," James whispered, "let's sit someplace else, shall we?"

"Why?" he asked without thinking. James raised his eyebrows at him. Then Sirius put two and two together. "Oooh, alright. Hey Remus!" he yelled. "Switch with us." Remus gave him a quizzical look.

"What? What's wrong with your seat?" Remus asked.

"Just switch, will you? James doesn't want to sit in the back, remember?" he asked, trying not to move his mouth.

"Oh," Remus said, "sure," and he and Peter got up and moved to the back. James and Sirius sat in their chairs and waited for the class to begin. James couldn't help but look around the room for her, though he didn't want to see her. At least he thought he didn't. But there was no sign of Lily. He did see Jade and Liz to the right of him, and when they saw him they just glared. James turned away quickly.

"They all hate me," he whispered to Sirius.

"Who?" Sirius asked.

"Them, the female student body. All the Gryffindor's at least."

"Don't be silly." But Sirius did see a definite trend. He looked around the classroom and James seemed to be right; all the girls were giving James dirty looks.

"I think your imagining things," Sirius whispered to him, trying to alleviate his nerves.

"I am not. They all hate me. I can feel it in the atmosphere."

Then Professor Binns made his ghostly appearance into the room and began his daily drone. James wasn't going to break with precedence and listen to him, so he put his head on his desk and closed his eyes. Sirius followed suit. Things remained uninteresting and down right boring until a half an hour later when the classroom door opened.

Binns stopped talking, which caused James and Sirius to open their eyes and look up at him.

"Either come to class, or don't come at all, young lady," he said.

"I'm here for class," she said. James heard his heart stop. It was Lily. More than anything he wanted to turn around and see her, and more than anything he wished he didn't want to see her. If he looked quickly, maybe she wouldn't notice. Yeah right.

Lily walked to sit with Liz and Jade who smiled at her. James was fighting a war with his neck, which seemed to want to turn to look at her, but he didn't want her to see him looking. James pulled out his ink well, quill and parchment and wrote a note.

"How is she?" he wrote out and passed to Sirius. Sirius turned in his chair to pop his back and yawned, then wrote back.

"Like she's been crying all night." James felt as though his insides had fallen out. He put the stopper back in the well and went to put it back in his bag. James glanced at her as he did this and immediately agreed with Sirius. Her eyes were very red and puffy. Her hair wasn't down and long and beautiful, it was up in a bun with many fly-aways. And James noticed something that made him feel much worse; for the first time the entire year she was not wearing her Head Girl badge.

He hated himself. Even Snape seemed better than he did at the moment. James wished the class would end soon, not that it would be any better, but he still wanted it to end.

When it finally did, James packed his stuff slowly and waited to get up till he was sure that Lily had already left. "She wasn't wearing it," he said to Sirius.

"I know," Sirius said back. "Let's go to lunch." They got up and joined Remus and Peter and walked to the Great Hall. James looked along the table for her and saw that she was sitting at the far end, near the staff table. The Hall got spookily silent when he came in; people at all tables just stared. The Slytherins smiled with delight.

"Ignore them," Sirius said. He tried, but it was very difficult. The only person that did not look at him as he came in was Lily, who was reading a book.

"This really sucks," James said. "How long is this going to go on?"

"Well, you did go out with her for over a year, and it was a pretty nasty breakup," Sirius said.

"Thank you," James said satirically, "so glad you told me, 'cause I wasn't there. That wasn't my question. How long is this going to go on?"

"James, I don't know. No one cares when I break up with a girl, but you two were like royalty. Like the Hogwarts King and Queen. It's just really unexpected."

"Well she shouldn't have spent time with that slime ball," James said as he lifted his glass goblet.

"And you shouldn't have spent so much time with Quidditch," Remus said. James got angry.

"Whose side are you on?" James asked him.

"Well, James, you have to admit she had a point. But I'm on your side."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. The next person that says her name is going to hear from me. Is that clear?" he asked the three of them. They all nodded. "Good."

"Hey James," Sam Moore said."  Are we having practice this afternoon?"

James hesitated a while. "Yes, of course we are. Do you think I would give all of you the day off?"

"Well I thought that maybe because Lily broke up with you that you might not want to practice," Sam said, but soon wished he hadn't.

"What?" James asked, standing up. "Let's get one thing straight.  I broke up with her, and I feel fine about it!" he yelled. Sam, as well as everyone else in the Hall stared at him...again.

"Okay," Sam whispered, and walked quickly away. James sat down again and looked at Sirius. "You got a problem?" he asked.

"She did break up with you," Peter said. "I saw it, I was there."

"What did I just say?" James asked, pounding his fists on the table. Peter wanted to answer back, but Sirius kicked him.

"Hey James!" it was David Butterfield, the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain.

"What do you want?" James asked.

"I've heard that Slytherin's putting up a real tough defense, and I thought I could help you out," he said.

"I don't need help," James said shortly. David smiled.

"So....do you think.....um.....well...."

"Spit it out will you?"

"Do you think you'll get back together? With her I mean." James stood up again, and Peter plugged his ears.

"Go away," James said silently. "It just happened, could you wait a while?"

David smiled and turned, "Good luck on Saturday, James. I hope you win." David walked down to the other end of the table and stopped in front of Lily. Sirius had to keep James in his seat.

"What is he doing?" James asked with rage. "I thought he was my friend, and now he's talking to her? He can't have her."

"James, it's over, alright, it's over. She can see whoever she wants now unless you talk to her about it and fix everything."

James watched David talk to her. All of a sudden he realized what David actually looked like. David was very tall and well endowed in the muscular arena; he was also handsome. Why James had never seen that before, he didn't know. Lily was talking to him, but not smiling. Then she turned to see James looking at her, and he quickly faced Remus again.

"I can't stand this. How do you do this all the time?" he asked Sirius.

"Well it's never this bad with me. If it's bothering you that much just go and talk to her."

"NO! I didn't do anything wrong, she was the one who screwed up. I just hate seeing her, that's what it is. I don't want to get back together with her. No way. I don't need her, I don't need anyone."

"Okay," Sirius said. "Whatever you say, James, whatever you say."

* * * * *

Friday was the worst day imaginable. It was the day they had double Potions with the Slytherins.

"Why do we always have Potions with them?" James asked. "Why can't we have it with the Hufflepuffs? Doesn't anything ever change in this school? And why on a Friday? The best day of the week has to be ruined with those slimy people. And why do we have to have it for so long?" James groaned as they walked down to the dungeons.

"I really don't want to hear what Snape has to say. If he says anything about anything, I'm afraid that I'll have to kill him. I just will. And no one's going to stop me."

The other three didn't say anything. James had become extremely agitated over the days to the point that if anyone mentioned anything to him, he would start yelling at them. When they got to Potions, the three of them escorted James inside and warned everyone nonverbally not to engage in any kind of communication with James.

"Good morning," Professor Wicks said smiling.

"Yeah, what's so good about it?" James mumbled to himself. He didn't even listen to what Wicks was saying because he was too busy staring at Snape stare at Lily. James looked at Sirius quickly, who was actually listening to Wicks. What a doop, James thought. But that didn't matter. James carefully pulled out his wand and pointed it at the back of Snape's head. James grinned evilly. "Strikchorus," James whispered. A thin white light jetted out of his wand and hit Snape in the back of the head, causing him to lunge forward and smack himself on the desk. Wicks stopped teaching and asked if Snape was alright.

"Who did this?" Wicks asked. James probably could have gotten away with it if he hadn't laughed so hard.

"Mr. Potter, did you do this?" he asked, everyone in the class looked at him.

James was laughing like a mad man and stomping his feet under his desk. He nodded his head.

"Yes," he said through the laughter, "I did. That's my work." Professor Wicks looked very disappointed and shocked.

"You have lost twenty points from Gryffindor," Wicks said, but James was still sniggering.

"It was worth it! I guess you'll want me to see the Headmaster now?" James asked. Wicks nodded. James got up, shot a glare at Snape who was rubbing his forehead, and started for the door. "Don't worry," James said to the class, "We'll get the points back. We're going to knock the shit out of Slytherin tomorrow, I promise."

"Mr. Potter, keep it up and you'll get a detention. I want a note coming back from Headmaster Dumbledore, and an apology to Severus."

"Apology? Can't I just take the detention instead? 'Cause I'm not sorry for it."

"Just GO!" Wicks yelled, and James left. He kept laughing at the memory of Snape's face as he pummeled it onto his desk.

"What's so amusing, James?" It was Dumbledore. James straightened  up.

"Nothing, sir."

"I believe you were sent to see me?" he asked. James nodded.

"Tell me, what did you do this time?"

"I hit Snape in the back of the head with a spell, and Professor Wicks didn't find it funny," James explained, still overcome with the mental image of the scene. Dumbledore frowned at him.

"Come with me, James, let's talk."

"I don't really feel like talking, sir," James said, but Dumbledore put his arm around his shoulder anyway and walked down the corridor.

"I've been hearing things about you, James, and I'm not liking what I hear. You've been very short with your professors, and I hear your classmates complaining about your...heightened sensitivity."

"I'm not sensitive!" James yelled.

"Then why are you always screaming at people when they ask you simple questions, like 'How has your day been?'"

"Who the hell has asked me that?" James asked.

"I just did, you have proven my point with your answer."

"Yeah, yeah." He really didn't want to talk to Dumbledore about anything right now, but he didn't want to be in Potions either. The fact of the matter was, James just wanted to hit something, or blow something up, or break a table with his fist. Or maybe his head. Yeah...that might be cool.

"Let's go to my office and talk, James." But it wasn't a request. Dumbledore steered James up to his office, even pushing him because he really didn't want to go. "Sit, please."

James threw himself on the chair and crossed his arms. Then he stared at Dumbledore, waiting to hear the lecture that was bound to fall from his lips. Here it comes, James thought, he could feel it coming: a long drawn out speech about maturity and being a man, and yadayadada.

"James," he began trying to sound sensible, "I think I know what's bothering you so much." James raised his eyebrows.

"Oh really," James said.

"Yes. I would like to think I know you fairly well, and your behavior has changed considerably since it happened."

James fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat and closed his eyes, "I don't want to talk about that," James said.

"I think it would be best if you discussed it with someone, as I know you have not."

"I don't want to," James said more forcefully.

"She is very upset about this," Dumbledore said. James stood up in a rage.

"She's talked to you!"

"Yes, when we had our Head of House meeting yesterday. You seemed to have forgotten that, and I had to call her out of class because she didn't want to come," he said with a different tone.

"And you didn't pull me out?" he asked.

"I don't think that would have been a wise decision, do you?"

James slowly shook his head.

"I think you need to resolve this with her, in some way even if things don't go back to the ways that they were. You're going to have to see her everyday for the next seven months; some kind of accord would do you both well."

"Just stay out of it!" James yelled.

"Relax, James. I am giving you some advice."

"Well stop! I don't need your advice. Just leave me alone, I can take care of myself!" he yelled.

"There's no need to yell. Sit down and let's talk about this," Dumbledore said quietly, but James wouldn't have it.

"I said I didn't want to talk about it. What's done is done, only time can 'fix' all of this. I don't know what she told you, but I don't want or need you butting into my life!"

"I'm only trying to help you," Dumbledore said, raising his voice.

"Well I don't want your help. You're not my father!" he yelled and he started to leave.

Dumbledore rose and walked over to the door to stop James from leaving. He looked into James's eyes for several moments before speaking.

"Just wait a second, I need to write you a note for Professor Wicks," he said as he started for his desk again. He took a quill and parchment and wrote out a very short note confirming that he had talked to James.

"Here, take it," he said to him. James looked at him and reached to grab it. When he did, Dumbledore held to it.

"Good luck tomorrow, James. I hope you win your match," then he smiled and released the note to him.

* * * * *

"Maybe we could postpone it, until you're feeling better," Sirius suggested as James was stretching on Saturday morning.

"No way," James said, "I'm feeling fine. I don't know why everyone in this Godforsaken world thinks I'm off center. Bunch of nutters if you ask me. Why aren't you getting ready?" James asked him.

"I'm just worried about you. You're not acting normally and it's getting worse by the day instead of better. You have to do something to fix this, James, it's not healthy."

"I am so sick of everyone telling me that I have to do something. Why do I have to, eh? Did anyone ever think that maybe I'm not the bad guy here? Did they? People seem to have forgotten that SNAPE was in the picture here. A weasel that did a jig when my father was murdered. I'm sorry, my girlfriend shouldn't spend time with a snake like that. But no one thinks about that, do they?"

Sirius put on his scarlet sweater and robes and his shin and arm guards without arguing with him anymore. When the three other guys came in, they were also silent.

James walked out of the locker room dressed and ready to do battle and waited outside for the rest of the team. When they arrived, he told them to sit down and keep quiet.

"We have practiced far too long for us to lose," he started. "We have to go out there and give everything we've got to end this thing. I know it's supposed to be fun, and it's not whether you win or lose but how you play the game. I happen know that whoever said that was always a loser. Winning reflects good and hard work like we have done. Slytherin has bigger players, and I have seen their new beater, Mark Townsend, and well...he's quite huge, but we are more skilled." James looked at the six of them and wanted more than anything to sound encouraging to them, but it just wasn't coming to him. "I know all of you will do your absolute best. I know that. It's just that I have put every free second I had into this team since the second week of school. And I've given up far too much to see us lose. We have to win, you guys, we have to win."

The six of them smiled weakly at him. James paused to think of more to say.

"Sirius says I haven't been myself lately. Well, I just want to win this and move on. Ballard has been at me for the past few days like a shark, and I just want to see his ugly face as part of one of your clubs," he said to Sam and Sirius who smiled. "I guess there's nothing more for me to say. Just go out there and do your best, and win." Though it wasn't as high spirited and exciting as his other pre-game speeches, it was effective.

Each of them was present at Tuesday's big fight and they knew that James had given up everything he had to win, so they were more than determined to win it for him. So they walked out to the field silently and waited to be announced by Al Davis, the commentator.

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the first Quidditch match of the season: Gryffindor vs. Slytherin! Now flying into the pitch is the Slytherin team under a new captain, Seeker Jake Ballard!" The Slytherins went wild, but the other houses, especially Gryffindor, booed them. The Slytherins flew around the field, enjoying the animosity from Gryffindor and waited for their enemies.

"And now I give you the six time winners of the Quidditch cup, GRYFFINDOR!" As usual, the entire pitch, with the exception of Slytherin, was beside themselves with enthusiasm as the team flew out onto the field. James did his loop around the field as usual, but as he passed the Gryffindor section, his heart fell.

James slowed down as he looked in the stands and noticed something very different. Lily wasn't there. She had always come to see him play Quidditch since he joined the team in his second year. But there was no sign of her. And that's when it happened.

He couldn't really figure out why he was there playing Quidditch. He didn't even care that much about winning. It just didn't matter anymore. Not even Jade nor Liz were in the stands cheering for the team.

"You alright?" Sirius asked.

"She's not there," James answered sadly. Sirius looked at the Gryffindor pitch and nodded his head. "Did you expect her to be?" Sirius asked.

"Well, yeah. She always has been before, I just thought that maybe..." he didn't finish. Madam Hooch was signaling for James to shake with Ballard, so he flew down to the center of the field.

Jake was smiling maliciously as he saw James's lack of concentration. He walked towards him and put out his hand for James, who took it but didn't really care.

"A clean game, gentlemen," she said, mostly to the Slytherin team. James rose back in the air and looked into the stands again. Where was she? Did she hate him that much that she didn't want to see the team win?

"And the Quaffle has been released!" Al screamed. "And Slytherin has possession as Cody Baines snatches it out of the air. He passes to Viktor Vancas who's taking it to make a score. Casey Riley looks really worried, ladies and gentlemen, but I think she can handle it. There seems to be no defense from the Gryffindor chasers who look out of place, and...OH SH-(he said something that is too shameful and harmful for a younger audience to hear. McGonnagal got quite upset and chucked an apple at his head.) Viktor Vancas makes a score. Ten nothing Slytherin."

James moved towards Casey and caught the Quaffle when she threw it at him. He flew the opposite direction and dodged both bludgers as they came for his head.

"And Potter passes to Mueller who takes it up the field. Cody Baines interferes and tries to force the Quaffle out of his hands, oh this is disgraceful! Johnson of Gryffindor comes to his aid, and Mueller passes to Johnson who goes to make the score....but it's saved," he said disappointed, "by Keeper Dustin Shaw." Chris Mueller flew over to James who hadn't really moved since the start of the game.

"James, you have to do something!" he said panicky, "You're what holds us all together. If you don't help us, then we'll lose!"

"I just can't," James said.

"Why not? You're the best one, we can't do this without you."

"And Slytherin has possession!" Davis yelled, "Robert Castle takes it right down the field, dodges the bludger that Black sent his way, and he scores. Twenty nothing, Slytherin."

"James!" Chris screamed at him, "Help us win!" James looked into the stands again, then at the faces of his six team mates. They were all looking at him with desperation.

With all of the strength he had, James flew hard at Cody Baines who had possession of the Quaffle.

"Whoa, and here comes Captain James Potter!" Al said with delight. Baines cleared out of the way and passed the Quaffle to Robert Castle. But James stayed on his tail. Then Brian Johnson came up next to James awaiting his instruction.

"Get in front of him," James said quietly. Brian nodded and complied with the order and moved in front of Castle.

"Out of my way!" he yelled at him. But Brian didn't move.

Having no other choice, Castle threw the Quaffle in Viktor Vancas' direction. This is what James had planned.

James moved from behind Castle and grabbed the Quaffle as it soared towards Viktor. The Gryffindor crowd went wild as James headed for Dustin Shaw to attempt a score.

"And he's reborn as he heads for the Slytherin goal post. Dustin Shaw is looking mighty nervous," he said with more excitement. Professor McGonnagal and the other teachers leaned forward as James bolted to the goal post.

"Cody Baines tries to block him, but Potter isn't moving. Baines moves out of the way and James scores!" The crowd went wild with excitement. Sirius high fived James as he flew by to intercept the Quaffle again.

Jake Ballard, who had been watching for the snitch above the field, rose to anger. It wasn't supposed to be happening like this, he thought. He looked up at Amanda who was also circling the field, and cursed at her.

"And Potter scores again! Twenty to twenty!" Jake made a series of signals to his team mates, and they nodded.

Sirius picked up on the behavior of the Slytherin team, and tightened his grip on his club. "Hey Sam!" he yelled. "Be on the watch!"

James, on the other hand, tried to ignore all other activity outside of the Quaffle. James was, as Chris had said, the best chaser on the team and was usually the strong point. Both Chris and Brain kept passing the Quaffle to James so that he could make the scores.

Fifteen minutes into the game, the score was astonishing: one hundred to ten, Gryffindor. Needless to say, Slytherin was quite upset. Jake Ballard called for a time out.

James also took advantage of the time and called his team down.

"Any sign of it?" James asked Amanda.

"Haven't even seen a glimmer," she said. James rolled his eyes and looked at the Slytherin huddle.

"I don't know what they're planning over there, but it's making me sweat. I can't keep this up much longer. Mandi you have to get it, I can't stress this enough. Just for now fake him out, give him something to do because he's brewing something and I don't know what it is."

She nodded at him, "I'll try."

"Are you ready?" Madam Hooch asked when she came up to James.

"Yes." The seven of them rose into the air and commenced play. James made his way for another score and smiled at Ballard just to tweak him.

"Well," Al Davis said, "those Slytherins are going to have to do a lot better if they want to beat Gryffindor. Captain James Potter goes for another score....YES! One hundred and ten to ten, Gryffindor one hundred points in the lead! I'm sure Ballard wishes that he had practiced more, now!" James passed the Quaffle to Chris who went to make another score.

"Holy Moley! Looks like Ballard is after the snitch!" Everyone but the two seekers stopped. James, with Quaffle in hand, stared transfixed as his young seeker tried to keep up with Jake.

"Come on," he said to himself as he watched her reach out her hand, "you can do this." Then Amanda pulled up very quickly as the Snitch flew upwards. Ballard wasn't so quick, and it cost him the game.

"GRYFFINDOR WINS!" Davis shouted as the crowd went wild. James sighed with relief and slowly descended to the ground, when something terrible happened.

In a fit of rage, Mark Townsend, the new beater who was very burly, smacked the bludger as hard as he could. The result was very unexpected.

On his way to congratulate the team for its efforts, especially Amanda, Sirius was pelted from behind with the bludger. It hit his right shoulder so hard that he slipped off the front of his broom and started to fall. All of the students in the stands rushed forward to get a better look and showed signs, mostly verbally, of their concern. James heard the crowds reaction and turned to look at Sirius dropping to earth. He raced over to him as fast as he could and caught him before he hit the ground from over one hundred feet.

He was groaning with pain as James lay him down on the grass. The rest of the team rushed over to him and huddled around.

"Is he okay?" Sam asked.

"Does he look okay to you?" James asked harshly. Sirius kept groaning and leaned on his left side.

"Step out of the way," Madam Hooch said, moving through the tight group of Gryffindors. Then the Gryffindor student body flooded the field around their injured classmate. Madam Hooch looked at his shoulder, with him groaning the entire time, then gave her diagnosis. "Oh dear," she said, "I think you dislocated it, and possibly broke it."

"Him?" James said his face going red with rage, "Sirius didn't do anything. The entire school witnessed Townsend hitting him with it. He should be expelled!"

"He needs to see Madam Pomfrey. Help me with him," she said to James, seeming to ignore Townsend's behavior.

"Ow, ow, ow," Sirius said as James lifted him up, "don't touch me," he wined.

James held him up and walked him to the castle, which seemed like a rather long journey, until they finally reached the hospital wing.

"Oh it's you two, is it," Madam Pomfrey said when she saw them.

"He's hurt, you have to help him," James said as he set Sirius on a bed.

"Ouch, careful!" he said to James. Soon the entire team was in the hospital wing, hovering over Sirius's bed.

"Now all of you need to leave," Madam Pomfrey said to the six of them.

"No, he's hurt!" James said.

"Yes, and I'm going to help him. He'll be as good as new in a few moments, you'll hardly miss him. Now all you need to leave."

"What are you going to do to me?" Sirius asked through much pain. "Please, nothing that involves my blood. I can't stand blood. Oh please don't hurt me."

"I'm not going to hurt you, just relax. Mr. Potter," she said. He was the only one that still remained in the room.

"What? I'll do anything to help," he said.

"Excellent. Leave, just leave."

"But I want-

"I know. You two seem to think you're joined at the hip or something."

"Do not," Sirius said. "Just let him stay, will you? For moral support."

"Out, Potter," she said pointing to the door as if he didn't know where the exit was.

Sirius tried smiling at him, "At least we beat them, James. We beat them. All that practice paid off, eh? We really slaughtered 'em."

James turned back and tried to smile, but his neurotransmitters in his brain weren't communicating with his facial muscles properly.

"Yeah," he said, "we beat them alright."

"Hey, don't start that victory party without me," Sirius added through gritted teeth.

"We won't." James opened the door and left. He should be happy, they beat Slytherin by a landslide. But he wasn't, and now he was ready to admit to himself exactly why that was.

He walked inside the Gryffindor Common room and saw that the party hadn't commenced yet, but they were getting ready for it. The five other players were talking about sneaking into the kitchens to nick food from the elves. Many of the Gryffindors cheered James when he came into the room, and he smiled weakly.

Then he noticed Liz sitting alone in the corner, reading a book. He decided to talk to her.

"Hey," he said with a warm smile to her.

She looked up at him from her book, but wasn't so friendly. "Hello," she said coolly.

"Where's Lily?" he asked.

"Why?" she asked, slamming her book shut.

"I have to give you a reason? Are you her manager now?" he asked.

"No, I'm damage control. You really hurt her with what you said. As far as I know she still wants no part of you, especially your attitude and personality."

James started to hear drumming in his ears, and the temperature rose in his face. He stepped backwards until he reached the Portrait hole, then he left. He started running to the suit of armor which blocked the most widely used passage way out of the school. He just wanted to leave, entirely. He ran as fast as he could out of the castle and transformed into a magnificent stag and ran even faster deep into the dark forest.



Sirius was as good as new ("I still don't get how anyone can be as good as new!") in a matter of minutes and went down to celebrate Gryffindor's slaughter of Slytherin. The moment he walked into the room, the house went wild. They cheered him on as if he defeated a killer dragon with his bare hands. He welcomed it, of course, and partied hard like the rest of them.

It wasn't until around eleven that Sirius noticed something was missing: James. It was customary that he and James would keep together and crack jokes and pull pranks, give speeches, help Sirius cruise girls, but there was none of that.

"Where is he?" Sirius asked Remus.

"I haven't seen him since this afternoon. Where do you think he is?"

"I'll go check the map," Sirius said and turned and walked towards the stairs, "Oh, right," he said suddenly stopping. "We have to get that back. How the hell am I supposed to find him now?"

"Look for him, maybe?" Remus suggested, "Do you want me to help you?"

"No, I'll find him. I just have to search high and low, right and left, over and under..."

"Thanks, Sirius, I get it. Just go find him and bring him back, will you?" Remus asked.

"I'm outta here," he said and he left. He decided to first look in the obvious: Astronomy Tower, Great Hall, kitchens, and possibly Myrtle's Bathroom. Unfortunately for Sirius, James was in none of those places. Now the castle was not a small cozy building, but large and vast. It took Sirius close to an hour to avoid Filch and his little cat and look for James, but he was no where to be seen. There was one other place James would go, and Sirius knew exactly where that was.

He snuck to the passageway covered by the suit of armor and slipped into it. He transformed quickly into his dog form and raced to the Dark Forest. James had sought out a location two years ago when he wanted to be alone, and he went there to clear his congested head ever since.

It took Sirius five minutes at a fast run to get there, but the run paid off. Prongs was there, tall and noble staring at the breathtaking scenery. Padfoot walked over and stood next to him, but Prongs didn't notice him at first. Instead he was staring at the small waterfall, which sparkled with the reflection of the diamond night sky. It was the only place deep in the forest that you could see the thousands of stars in the heavens.

Padfoot transformed and stood next to Prongs, gazing at the mist the waterfall made when it crashed into the small pond.

"I think you need to talk about it, as much as that sounds....therapeutic, you need to get it off your chest." Prongs turned his great head and looked at him with his large black eyes. "You can't ignore this anymore, James, I know that's what you've been trying to do."

He transformed back into himself and slumped down on the soft grass. Sirius sat next to him, but they didn't talk for several minutes. James continued to stare into the forest, reflecting upon his entire life and his most recent choices.

"I didn't mean a single word I said to her," he said after ten minutes of silence. Sirius nodded his head, but said nothing. "I never believed that anyone could have an out of body experience, but I did. It just seemed so surreal, you know?"

Again, Sirius nodded.

"It was like I was watching myself. And I just kept thinking, what kind of monster says those things to the woman he loves? Who says that? I told her I didn't think she was special. I actually said, my lips actually formed those words. But it's not true, she means everything to me. She means the world to me and now I've lost her, just because I couldn't control my temper," James said as he bent his head down.

"I think you can fix this, you know. You just have to tell her what you told me."

"I don't think so," James said. "She hates me."

"Why do you think that?" Sirius asked. "Because she didn't come to see the game?"

"Not just that. Liz told me. 'Lily doesn't want to have any part of me.' That's a direct quote."

Sirius sighed and shook his head.

"James, I don't think that has anything to do with anything. You know how girls are; they get protective and anti-men when one of their friends gets hurt. That's all Liz was doing: protecting Lily. And that's probably why Jade is so apt on ignoring me. So what's it going to be?"

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"Are you going to apologize to her?"

"What? Me apologize?" he asked in alarm

"Yes, you. You're the one who screwed up here, pal. You made a promise to her that you would spend more time with her than with Quidditch, did you not?"

James shuffled uncomfortably on the grass.

"Earth to James," Sirius said, "did you not make that promise?" James didn't answer. "I can't hear you," Sirius said.

"Yes," James said quietly, "I said that. But she was with Snape!" Some wild birds flew out of the bushes when he yelled this.

"That really doesn't matter. You screwed up first. Can we get out of here, it's getting a little nippy." Sirius got up and pulled James off the ground.

"I don't want to go back there," James said, resisting Sirius.

"Tough, you're going to fix this with her," Sirius said, pushing him harder.

"Don't make me hurt you," James said pushing back.

"If you don't move, I'll transform and bite you!"

"If you don't stop pushing me, I'll transform and gourd you!"

"I'll bite you thin little heels!"

"Try it and I'll kick you in the face, pretty boy!"

"JUST MOVE!" Sirius yelled, and they headed back to the castle.



Not surprisingly, only Remus remained in the Common Room when the two arrived back. It was past one in the morning, and the party was forced to end.

"McGonnagal made us stop. Sent everyone off to bed," Remus informed them.

"That's nice," Sirius said, who was still gripping James tightly by the elbows.

"Let go of me, now!" James yelled at him.

"Are you going to stay here, or am I going to have to restrain you to a chair?" Remus looked at the two of them very strangely. "I had to wrestle him to the ground, literally. He's a lot stronger than he looks, let me tell you," Sirius informed him.

James was still trying to set himself free, but Sirius had him in a tight lock.

"I'm going to dislocate your shoulder, again," James threatened.

"I'll let you go if you promise not to run away," Sirius explained, but James still struggled. "Fine, have it your way. Remus help me with his-royal-stubbornness, will you?" Remus gladly went over and took one of James's arms and helped Sirius push him down into a chair.

"You're stuck," Remus said, "just give up."

"We just want to talk to you about Lily, that's all. Clarify some things for you," Sirius said.

"Would you just let go of me, please?" James asked.

"Will you listen to us and stay in that chair?" Remus asked.

"Yes!" he yelled. They released him but stayed close in case he got up and ran for the door. But he didn't. Instead he crossed his arms and frowned at the two of them.

"Now," Sirius started, "Like I was saying before in the forest-"

"Yeah, why did you make me leave? I was fine there until you came along and messed it all up. I don't want to hear anything you two have to say. I can handle everything on my own."

Sirius guffawed, "Sure you can. Look, James, we want to help you get back with her. That's all. And you do need our help because you suck doing this alone. If you could do it, it would have been done hours after it happened, not days."

"She was seeing Snape. Give me your excuse for that one," James said.

"She wasn't 'seeing' Snape, James," Remus started. "Liz told us that Lily was using Snape to get your attention, to make you jealous."

James held up his hand, "Did you hear something?" he whispered.

Sirius and Remus shook their heads.

"I thought I heard the door open. Great, not only am I hallucinating, I'm hearing things as well." James shook his head and sighed. "It's just that it's Snape. Anyone else....why did she have to use Snape?"

"He was there at the right time," Remus said. "They were in the library getting books when Snape came into the picture. It was the spur of the moment thing. It wasn't premeditated or anything."

"He tried to poison her! Don't you remember that?" James asked. "Last year, the love potion, Sirius trying to knock him off, me saving his ugly ass? Doesn't this sound familiar to anyone? He tried to take her from me by force! And now she's out tutoring him? Does anyone else see a problem with this? He's a dangerous person!"

"Have you told her that Snape was going to slip her that potion?" Sirius asked. James stared at him.

"No. No I would never tell her that. I don't want to scare her, Sirius. That's all it would accomplish: she'd be terrified."

"Then how is she suppose to know he's a danger to her?" Sirius asked. James put his hands through his hair and shut his eyes.

"I don't know, his crowd?" he asked silently.

"Lily likes to see the good in people, James. That's one of her qualities. That's something you love about her," Remus explained. James still had his hands on his head and his eyes closed.

"Yeah, I know. But don't you remember how happy he looked when he caught word that Voldemort murdered my father? Please tell me that. She knows he was thrilled about it."

"Look," Sirius said crossing his arms, "we can talk about Snape all night long and get no where. The point of the matter is, Lily went to Snape to get your attention, because you were working with the team every waking minute. You promised her James, you promised her that she was more important."

"She is more important to me. She means everything to me."

"Yes, we know that. Go and tell her!" Sirius said, but James didn't move.

"No, I can't. She won't want to speak to me. If I were her, I wouldn't want to speak to me. Didn't you hear the horrible words I said to her?"

"She'll forgive you. You didn't mean them," Remus said.

"But she thinks I'm arrogant and selfish. She said that. She thinks of me the same way Snape does, you guys."

"James," Sirius said, "You didn't mean what you said; I'll bet my savings that she didn't mean what she said either. So stuff away your pride and tell her your sorry."

"Why do I always have to apologize? Don't you guys notice that I am always the one that pleads for her forgiveness? Am I ever going to be right?"

"No," Sirius said bluntly. James looked at him with shock.

"No? Never? I'll never be right? Ever?"

"No. Here's the difference between you and her. You are incredibly stubborn and want to be right all the time. You are at times overly competitive, say for example the seven day a week Quidditch practices guaranteeing your win.

"Lily, on the other hand, is also stubborn and competitive. The difference lies in the fact that Lily has to be right, all the time. I know to you she's perfect in every way, but if you want to marry her you're going to have to admit to the fact that from here on out, you are always wrong and she is always right. Luckily for you, my friend, she's right 99 times out of 100.

"And you're going to have to realize that she demands attention. You should see the way her parents are with her. She could puke five feet out and they would smile and be so proud. She's used to being adored, James. And until this year, that's what you did. It was sickening and gross, to tell you the truth, but that's what you did. There's nothing wrong with it, James. That's how it should be. You should adore the person you love, treat her like a goddess, make her feel as though she was walking on air, because that's love."

James looked at him for a while, and thought. "Where did you hear that?" James asked him.

"My father told me. Said that's how it should be when I find the right girl. And that's how I know that Lily is right for you. Hell, everyone in the school knows that. You just have to be wrong, that's it. She's already right most of the time anyway, so there's no worries. Just tell her your sorry, like you really are. You haven't slept or eaten, or said anything nice to anybody since Tuesday because you've been kicking yourself the entire time."

James stood up and paced around the chair. "I'm just afraid that she won't want me back. What if she doesn't want me? What of that? God I'll be so miserable without her."

"I doubt that will happen. But if it does, then at least you know you tried. She'd be crazy not to take you back."

James nodded his head and sighed with relief. "You're right, Sirius. Right about everything. I just have to suck it up and be a man. I'm going to tell her. I'll tell her everything." He started to walk upstairs but Sirius and Remus called after him.

"James, it's one in the morning. You should tell her when she's awake, when she's more receptive and aware of her surroundings," Remus said to him. James started walking back down, already starting to feel better about his decision.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Maybe I'll go and see the elves in the kitchens. I'm starving."

"We'll come with you," Sirius said. James started walking for the door, the weight on his shoulders nearly gone, but when he went to push the portrait open....

"Lily," James said surprised. Remus and Sirius looked too. Lily was leaning on the wall inside the alcove of the entrance to the Common Room.

"How long have you been standing there?" Sirius asked. She looked like she had been crying, but she didn't look very sad or angry.

"A while," she answered.

"Oh," Sirius said. He looked at Remus, who looked at him and they both decided to go some place else. The moment they left, Lily ran to James and threw her arms around him.

"I had no idea that Snape had planned that, and I don't think your arrogant or selfish, and I don't always have to be right all the time, and I saw your match, I just wasn't in the stands. It's just that I wanted to see you so bad and you didn't see me and I love you so much that I just couldn't stand that you were with your team more than me, but I know you didn't mean it, and you didn't mean what you said, and I didn't mean what I said, and I do want to marry you and live with you for all of time and I never want to fight with you ever again, because I really don't like fighting with you, because I love you so much," she said all of this very fast, as if it were one sentence. The entire time he just looked at her with that same adoration that Sirius had described, not saying a word.

"And I'm sorry that I boss you around, I don't mean to," she continued, but James put his finger to her lips and smiled.

"I want you to be the boss of me. I don't mind it. I just said it because I didn't have anything else to say. I'm so sorry for everything."

"Me too." They stood there staring into each other's eyes for several minutes, so grateful and happy that they had resolved everything.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked her with a smile.

"Yeah," she said grinning even wider than he.