***The Marauder Chronicles is a fan fiction. It isn't to be reproduced, sold or taken as true. Character and locations belong to J.K. Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended.***
Authors note: I have a major test on Monday so I won't even start the next chapter until after that. I also have semester finals so wish me luck. I hope you like this chapter, please read and review, I'm getting close to 100.
Part Six: The Battle of the Sexes
"Tricks, pranks, deceptions...not just a boy game."
"What are these?" Sirius asked as he opened his Christmas gift from Lily.
"Sunglasses," she said. Sirius gave her a quizzical look. He picked them up and examined them from every angle then put them down.
"When do I use them?" he asked.
"When it's dark," she said sarcastically. "When do you think you would wear sunglasses, Sirius?" He looked stunned at her.
"Wow. A week with James was too long. What's with the sarcasm? It's very new; I like it. So you wear the glasses when it's sunny, right?"
"Yep."
"Muggles actually wear them?"
"Yes, they're very useful. Try them on."
"It's not sunny." Sirius pointed outside. Lily nodded at him for his excellent perception skills, then went to get a large mirror.
"Put them on and look in your friend the mirror," she said. Sirius picked up the glasses, slowly put them on his face, and looked in the mirror.
"Whoa," Sirius grinned. "I look good. I had no idea I could look this cool. Thanks Lily!" he said gratefully.
"No problem, just don't get too narcissistic, alright?" she said, smiling at him.
"Fine. Okay, now the present I got you isn't nearly as good, but I didn't know what to get you. So keep in mind I did my best, I really did."
"That's fine," she said. "It's the thought that counts, you know." He nodded and handed her a wrapped object which she recognized as a book. She unwrapped it hastily.
"Oh," she said laughing, "this is perfect. Where did you find a book like this?"
"Quality Quidditch Supplies in Diagon Alley. I saw it, and I just had to get it for you."
"It's great. 'What to Do When Your Spouse Is Obsessed with Quidditch.' Ideal. Thanks a bunch. Hey, speaking of Quidditch obsessed, where is James?"
"I think he's...I have no idea."
"You don't?"
"No, I don't know where he is. What is it with everyone in this school? I don't know where he is all the time."
"I don't expect you to. It just seems like you're not being completely honest with me. Is he up to something?" she asked, but then thought. "You know what? I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I'm going to go look for the other two."
"Um, I think Liz is with Remus right now, and Jade's probably with Geoff Martin, the low life sixth year who cheats on women. Well, if you're going to leave me alone, I'll go look for James. See you around."
Lily's face split into a grin. "Okay. See you around." Then she left the common room. Sirius made sure she was gone, then ran up the stairs to the dormitories. James was sitting on his bed studying some parchment in his hands.
"Well?" James asked.
"Doesn't suspect a thing. So, how's it coming along?"
"Great. I've looked up some spells to make the material and how to hide it. If we had the map we could see if it was clear to go, but..." James shook his head sadly. "I miss it."
"Me too. So how do we pull this off?" he asked.
James looked at him and grinned evilly.
School recommenced on January third. Everyone was supremely disappointed that the holiday was over, but now they had summer to look forward to. But James, as well as everyone else in the seventh year, was getting quite nervous about summer. What did the future hold? Sirius eventually convinced him not to think about it so much; he did after all have quite the inheritance. But it still weighed down on his mind. He couldn't be a bum all day and read about Quidditch teams. Lily wanted to go to medical school and be a doctor like her father. Maybe he should be like his father. No, he thought quickly, too much stress and time away from Lily.
"It is essential when performing the full body shield, or at least attempting it, that you concentrate solely on maintaining the shield," Professor Gellar said to the class one day. The initial shock of her beauty had grown into admiration to the tenth degree. Professor McGonnagal often complained that James and Sirius were so well behaved in Defense Against the Dark Arts but had to be separated in Transfiguration.
"I just don't understand how you can be so horrid in this class but so charming in Professor Gellar's," Professor McGonnagal said to Sirius who had his quill and his wand stuck up his nose. He carefully removed the items from his nostrils, while the class was overcome with laughter, and made a cute remark.
"Well it's because you don't look like Professor Gellar." McGonnagal raised her eyebrows; Sirius hit himself. "I mean, I'm sure you looked like that when you weren't so old."
McGonnagal put her hands on her hips and continued to stare down at him. "That's not what I meant," Sirius said, sweat coming to his forehead. "Actually I think you're quite lovely, more so than Celes- Professor Gellar, that is, even in old age. And you've aged gracefully, Professor, and I'm not just saying that to kiss up to you, I honestly think you look well preserved." Sirius looked at her cold face for a few seconds before saying: "I dug a pretty big hole, didn't I?"
She nodded.
"Detention with you this Saturday?" he asked.
She nodded again then went back to her lesson.
But in Gellar's class, he, as well as James, were perfect gentleman.
James raised his hand to ask her a question. "But Professor, if someone is trying to curse you, wouldn't it be extremely hard to maintain this shield?"
"Yes, that's why very few can do it. At best the shield can protect you from minor curses like the ones you would use on each other in a duel. If you wanted to protect yourself from a more advanced curse, then you would have to evoke more magic. But how do you know that's what your opponent is going to use? Well, welcome to the Dark Arts. (I think)
"It has often been asked if one can transfer the shield to someone else, say someone who is more capable of a battle. As to that I don't know. Only a truly powerful wizard can conjure that kind of magic.
"Now, why don't we all get into pairs and try to perform this. I doubt that anyone in this room will be able to divert a curse, but we'll find out." Professor Gellar moved all the desks to the side of the room, allowing them space to practice. James and Sirius paired off and walked to the far side of the class.
"What do we concentrate on?" Sirius whispered to him.
"I don't know. I thought you knew."
"No, I thought it was a given, and I just didn't get it. Ask Lily, maybe she knows."
"Lily," James said. She walked over to him with Jade behind her.
"What is it?"
"What are we supposed to concentrate on for this shield thing?" he asked.
"Whatever you think will protect you," she answered as if it was a purely obvious question. "It's different for each person. You just have to try it out." James nodded at her then went back to Sirius.
"Right, think of something that will protect me. How about a fire-breathing dragon?" James asked.
"Yeah, that would be cool. I'll think the same thing. Let's get to it," Sirius said. He took out his wand, watched James do the same, then turned around and walked five paces.
"On three," James said pointing his wand at him. "One...two...THREE!"
"Impramento!" Sirius yelled, lunging forward into his wand. James's eyes grew ten times as he watched a yellow beam of light hit him in the gut. James fell over backwards clutching his stomach and groaning.
"Are you alright?" Sirius asked. James groaned.
"The dragon thing didn't work for me," he said slowly get off the ground, leaning on the wall for support.
"Okay. So now you hit me," Sirius said backing up. He raised his wand ready to take the blow. James threw himself forward and screamed: "Dynorous!" A purple wave erupted from James's wand. Sirius flew ten feet back, hit the wall like a fly on a windshield, and slid down in a heap. He let out a breath, which looked a lot like smoke, and shook his head.
"Right," he said weakly. "Dragons are out. Maybe we're going about this the wrong way. Maybe we have to think of something else. I mean dragons would probably attack us."
"Yeah, maybe one hundred rottweilers, trained ones. Let's try that," James said. He helped Sirius off his feet and prepared himself for action. Sirius thought of a mild spell to use on him and then threw it.
"Legalos Jellious!" he bellowed. James closed his eyes and tried to imagine a hundred vicious dogs in front of him, but then he felt his legs fall from under him. He opened his eyes and saw Sirius in a fit of the giggles, as he was wobbling all over the room.
"Counter curse, please!" James said. He had dropped his wand and couldn't seem to get it. Sirius mumbled the counter, and James was back to normal. "That's it. I don't think I can do this shield thing." As he looked around he saw many other students on the ground in heaps. "I don't think anyone can do this. She's being to vague."
Professor Gellar laughed at all of them but went to Lily and pulled her to the front of the classroom. "Class, Miss Evans here is getting some kind of a response. Watch and learn." She told Lily to stand in the center of the room, drop her wand, and await the coming spell. "Now, some of you need to learn to ask questions when you are confused, Mr. Black. You don't think of dragons or aggressive dogs. The time to use the shield is when you are defenseless. I noticed that Miss Yang first disarmed her opponent, then Miss Evans used the shield. Now, I am going to attempt to curse her, and she will defend herself." Lily looked very nervous as everyone watched her. Professor Gellar raised her wand, cleared her throat, and said, "Renare!" A short flash of white light sprouted from her wand and hit Lily in the chest, only it didn't knock her down or effect her in anyway. Lily had crossed her arms over her heart as the Professor said the incantation and stopped the spell from hitting her. Lily tried forcing the spell, now a small, bright, translucent ball, back at the Professor, but failed; it just vanished.
"Excellent!" Professor Gellar said, clapping her hands in triumph. The rest of the class followed suit. "It's getting stronger each time," she said. Lily blushed and turned back to Jade.
"Lily," James said rushing to her, "how did you do that? It was amazing!"
"Why thank you. I don't really know how I did it, to tell you the truth. It just sort of....came over me."
"This means you're a great and powerful witch," Sirius told her. "Are you going to take over the world with these powers?" he asked.
"No, I'm going to save it," she laughed. Then the school bell rang telling them it was time for lunch. They all picked up their books and headed out the door, Sirius smiling at the professor as he left.
"That was a good lesson," Lily remarked as she took her place at the Gryffindor table.
"Not for me," Jade said. She was massaging her head, and Liz couldn't stop smiling; Remus hit her with a cheering charm.
James and Sirius came parading towards them with huge smiles on their faces. Remus sniggered, and Peter looked anxious. They sat across from the three girls.
"What are you four so happy about?" Lily asked. James opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it.
"Nothing you'd be interested in," James said smirking.
"Oh really?" Lily asked. "So you're up to no good again, right?"
"Well I wouldn't say 'no good,' but..." Lily, Liz, and Jade all leaned forward. "It's nothing interesting, don't worry about it. What's for lunch?" James said. Sirius snorted with laughter at the confusion on their three faces, for which Jade glared at him.
"Okay, what is your problem?" he asked her.
She made a noise that all too clearly said, "You're an idiot."
"Look, I thought we were going to be good friends, but ever since you agreed to that you've treated me like garbage!"
"I have treated you like garbage? What have I done to upset you?" she asked.
"Well you've....Well the other day you....You've just been really....I can't explain it, but you've been mean!" he yelled, frustrated that he couldn't answer her simple question.
"Oh, poor Sirius got hurt feelings? How horrible. I would hate it if you hurt me. Wait a second," she said, holding her finger to her head. "You did hurt me. Shucks, I almost forgot. Well, I guess we're even then."
"Hey, I didn't mean to hurt you; I really didn't," he explained.
"Yeah, well James didn't mean to be an insensitive, Quidditch obsessed maniac who shrugged Lily either. Sometimes things happen when we don't ask them to, Sirius. Learn that."
"Could you leave me out of this please?" James asked. Jade gathered her books, stared at Sirius, and marched out of the Great Hall. Liz and Lily fixed their eyes on Sirius as if trying to burn holes in his face.
"Fine," Sirius said to himself. James, Remus, and even Peter looked at him questionably. "What?" he asked them. "What do you want me to do?"
"Go after her!" the three of them said. Sirius rolled his eyes, got out of his seat, and ran after Jade, though he really didn't want to. He found her just outside the great doors talking to David Butterfield, the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain.
"Hey Sirius," he said.
"Hey, what are you up to?"
"He's talking to me," Jade said. "You know there are some people who find me interesting, Sirius." She turned her back to him and tried to continue her conversation. Sirius persisted.
"Oh yeah? Well people find me interesting, too. So ha ha ha. I don't care if you talk to this guy, you know why?"
"Why?" she asked with her arms crossed.
"Because..." he couldn't think of anything. He really wasn't expecting her to challenge him.
"Because?" she asked skeptically. "Your answer is 'because'?"
"No, it's because he isn't as...He's not anything like a person that should be....Well, what I mean is that....Why do I have to explain this stuff to you? He was hitting on Lily after the breakup!"
Jade laughed at this and clapped her hands.
"No, Sirius. David was talking to me that day. Well, he was talking to Lily, but to make conversation. Right, David?" she asked.
"Right. James is my friend, I wouldn't do that to him." This didn't make sense to Sirius.
"Then why did you ask James if it was final? Huh? Why?"
"Cover. I thought you liked Jade, but you didn't as it turned out."
"So..." Sirius still was confused about this.
"Go away Sirius. Let someone else deal with your overly large ego." She took David by the robes and dragged him out of sight. Sirius stood there for several minutes before he walked back into the Hall.
"What happened? Where is she?" Lily asked. Sirius looked at her hard.
"As if you didn't know. You're in cahoots with her aren't you? You two trade insults and yap with each other like two peas in a pod, don't you?" he asked Lily.
James glared at him. "Don't take that tone with her. Whatever happened you don't need to take it out on Lily. Is that clear?" James had a finality to his tone that Sirius was not accustomed to hearing.
"I'm sorry, Lily," he said sincerely sitting back down. "She said I had an 'overly large ego.' It hurt me, you know? She was talking to pretty-boy-butter-ball, and he looked really pleased about it. He has a way bigger ego than I do. You guys don't think I have a big ego, right?" he asked.
Lily and Liz looked away shyly; Remus had to excuse himself; James was the only one that looked him in the eye, though he said nothing.
"I can't believe this. Jade's right, isn't she? I'm a egotistic maniac."
"Well," James said unsurely, "maniac is a little strong."
"But I have a big ego?" he asked sadly.
"You're confident, Sirius," James said trying to cheer him up. "You're just really, really confident. There's nothing wrong with that."
"Don't sugarcoat it. I'm a pig; Jade's right. I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life, aren't I? No one will ever want me, will they? Not a single, solitary person."
"Sirius," Lily said taking his hand, "it's not that bad. You just spend some time looking in the mirror, more than you probably should, but we all have our faults. Jade's just still kinda bitter about what you said to her."
"I really don't understand women," he said before he hit his head on the table. "It's something I wish I could do, understand them and how their minds work. Oh well. Look, I'm going to go upstairs to get my books for the next class." He got up and started for the tower.
"We'll come with you," James said, and Peter followed. When they were out of earshot, Lily smiled and giggled; Liz followed suit.
"'I wish I could understand women,'" Liz said mocking Sirius. "What an idiot. If he was more dense his head would fall off. I'm so lucky that Remus has some brains in that cute head of his."
"That's for sure. Remus does seem smart, doesn't he? He's like the balancing force for those two. He neutralizes James and Sirius, thank God. Can you imagine the havoc they would achieve if he wasn't telling them chill out from time to time?"
"I don't want to think about it," Liz laughed. She picked up her books as Lily did but then stopped. "Hey, Sirius left his book." She opened it and dropped her jaw.
"What is it?" Lily asked.
"A note. I think it's from James. It's about...us."
"Well don't just stand there. Read it!" Lily sat back down and looked at the note with Liz. It read the following:
"Padfoot, we can't tell them about Tuesday night. You know how Lily and Liz are, they'll fink on us in a second. You tell Remus and Peter about it, and we'll all go. Whatever you do, don't tell the girls; we don't want them to spoil anything. ~ Prongs"
Lily and Liz looked at each other with looks of anger, disbelief, and a strong feeling of curiosity. They each read it a few more times before talking about it.
"What are they going to do, and why don't they want us to be a part of it?" Liz asked.
"And why do they think we'll 'fink' on them? Have we every spilled the beans about them before? Uh, no; we never have. Those goons have no idea of what they speak."
"Well put," Liz said. "So, what are we going to do?"
"Oh I don't know. Snoop around."
"Excellent!" Liz said with relish. "They always did have more fun than us. Where do you think they're going tonight?"
"I have no idea. Let's not talk about this in class or out, only in utter secrecy. Write a note to Jade about it, and give it to her before class starts. And you and I never found this note in his book, alright?"
"What note?" Liz asked innocently, Lily smirked. They gathered their books again, took Sirius's, and headed to class. They met Jade at the door, David had walked her to class, then walked inside. Sirius quickly walked up to the three of them looking slightly panicked.
"Do you have my book?" he asked.
"Yep," Lily said handing it to him casually.
"You didn't open it did you? 'Cause I have some private notes in there."
"No, we didn't open it," Liz said, which was true; only Liz had opened it. Sirius looked slightly relieved, smiled at Jade, who scowled at him, then sat next to James. The three girls scrambled to their table and wrote out a detailed note to Jade with quotes and analyses about their findings. She looked very pleased at the news and wanted more. They all stared at Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter who looked suspicious at the moment.
That afternoon, Lily, Liz, and Jade started their homework but carefully watched the four boys. But watching them was quickly proving to be very boring, as they came and sat next to them and started homework. Jade refused to speak to Sirius, though he tried talking to her. It would have been quite a pleasant affair if the three girls didn't feel like kicking their male counterparts.
At long last, James made an excuse to go to the library, and the other three also miraculously found a reason to go with him. Lily complained about it, as did Liz (they didn't want to be transparent), but Jade was waving goodbye with a smile.
Lily watched each of them as they walked toward the portrait hole. Remus tripped on a second year's backpack and stumbled, tossing his books and papers everywhere. He quickly gathered them, looking embarrassed, then left with his friends. Lily watched them go, but Jade noticed he left a small paper. All three of them raced to the spot and lifted it off the ground. Only a few words were written upon it: "Moony, tonight, midnight, Dark Forest. Don't tell Liz."
"The Dark Forest, eh?" Lily said with delight.
"How on earth are we going to get there without being seen?" Liz asked.
"We'll just have to sneak out when everyone is asleep and creep down there."
"Hold everything," Jade said. "The Dark Forest? The DARK Forest? Are you kidding me? Have either of you been in that place? Not only is it forbidden and against the school rules, which, by the way, we follow, but it's filled with horrible monsters, and it's scary. You're not seriously thinking about going are you?"
Lily smirked guiltily. "Oh come on, Jade. Aren't you the least bit curious about what they're doing? So it's dangerous down there, big deal. We'll take our wands with us."
"Oh, our wands! Whew, I thought we were going to be defenseless. We'll put our lives in three small sticks. Good plan."
"Jade, no one is forcing you to go," said Liz. "But I am going, and so is Lily. It's up to you."
Jade crossed her arms and thought about it. "Well," she said, "I guess it'll be okay if you two are going."
"Excellent," Lily said. "Now we wait."
* * * * *
When the clocked chimed twelve and all students were in bed, Lily, Liz, and Jade started down to the forest as covertly as possible. They had bundled up in extra layers, as it was very cold outside. The three sneaked around every corner and held their breath more than once.
"This is exciting!" Jade whispered. They managed to tiptoe past Peeves, which proved difficult; he was throwing ink wells at a wall and whooping joyously as each one splattered. They had to hide in a dark corner as Filch was on route to the mess.
"PEEVES!" he yelled, his little cat in tow. Once they got to the entrance hall, they each took deep breaths, tightened their scarves, and went out into the cold night. The snow crunched under their feet, and the ice-cold wind bit their ears. As they got farther away from the castle, they pulled out their wands. "Lumos," they each said, and a bright light shone in front of them. The forest was feet from them. Jade grabbed Lily's arm nervously and started to increase her rate of breathing.
"This was a bad idea," she said.
"You just said it was exciting," Liz pointed out.
"It was when we were in the castle. Let's turn back!" she said.
"No," Lily said forcefully. "We're going in. Now try to be brave."
Jade, still holding tightly to Lily, progressed into the forest. It was very eerie inside of it. Tall trees filled it, and silence echoed from them. They all felt as if they were being watched.
Liz then grabbed on to Lily's shoulder and started to shiver with fear. There was a rustling noise.
"Did you hear that?" Jade asked.
"Uh huh," Liz said. Both of them tightened their grip on Lily. She did hear the noise but pretended not to. She pressed onward. She kept to the path and held her wand in front of her so she could see; they were getting deep into the forest.
"Lily," Jade said slowly as if saying it fast would scare up a beast with long teeth, "can we go back? I don't think they're here. Maybe they meant next Tuesday."
"I agree," said Liz. "Let's go back"
Lily stopped in her tracks and turned to face them. "Aren't you two in Gryffindor?"
They nodded.
"Gryffindors are supposed to be brave. You two are more scared than mice cornered by a cat."
"I have a confession to make. I lied to the hat," Jade said. "I told it I was brave because both you and Liz were in Gryffindor, and the hat wanted to put me in Ravenclaw...I think. So I tried being brave, and it let me in."
"Yeah, I think the hat made a mistake with me, too. Well, maybe not. I'm not wise, hardworking, or cunning, so Gryffindor was the default house for me. I've been living a lie. So let's go back to the castle, shall we?" Liz said.
"I am ashamed of the two of you. Those guys were mocking us, saying we would tell on them, like second years. Doesn't that bother you?"
"Not anymore," they said in unison. "Let's go back up to the castle where it's safe and warm."
"No, I want to know what those four are up to. I'll go alone if you chickens aren't going to go." They didn't leave, though Jade did look behind her as if wanting to make a run for it.
"What's that?" Liz asked nervously pointing ahead of her. Lily shined her wand on the spot.
"I don't know. Let's have a look," she said boldly, moving closer to the thing. It was behind a large rock, whatever it was, and didn't appear to be moving. Liz and Jade were almost pulling on Lily to stop, but she forced herself to see the creature.
"Is it dead?" Jade asked. Lily dropped her wand and put her hands to her mouth. Liz conjured her nerve and nudged the beast with her foot. It didn't move.
"It looks like it just died, doesn't it Lily?" Jade asked her, but Lily was almost in tears. The dead beast was a very large stag. "Lily, what's the matter?"
She pointed to it and covered her eyes.
"It's just a dead deer."
"No," she cried, "it's not. It's- "
"BOO!" someone yelled as they jumped out of the bushes.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the three screamed and huddled together before falling on the snow.
Whoever said 'boo' was now laughing so hard they had to kneel on the ground. Three other boys joined him and added to the laughter. Lily got up so angry that she didn't even feel the cold snow on her back. She went after who she perceived to be James and started hitting him. He was still laughing and didn't stop Lily from smacking him around. The other three boys were also cackling so hard that they were crying. Liz took Lily's idea and started hitting Remus, and Jade hit Sirius a good few times.
"It's not funny!" Lily yelled, but she could have whispered it; it would have had the same effect. Once James had controlled himself, which took a very long time, he looked at Lily with a smile.
"It is funny, Lily. We all knew you would come down here. Curiosity got the best of you, didn't it?"
"What?" she asked confused.
"Well you must have opened Sirius's book and taken the small note to Remus, didn't you? Perfect Lily has left the castle and gone off to the Dark forbidden Forest to see what we were up to, risking detention and expulsion all for curiosity. I knew you would. I knew you would, and so you have. It's the funniest thing in the world," he said and started chuckling again.
"You scared me with that!" Lily yelled as she pointed to the stag. "Don't you ever do that to me again, James Potter, or I'll never speak to you."
"Okay," James said trying to calm down. He went to put his hands on her shoulders but she pushed him away.
"Don't touch me. We're leaving," she said, and she took Liz and Lily by the wrists, grabbed her wand, and started to march out of the forest.
"Lily, don't go!" James cried after her, but she didn't listen.
"Why didn't we see it was a trick?" Liz asked.
"I don't know. They have gone too far with their little games. Sometimes I just really want to p- " but she was cut off as the ground the three of them were treading on suddenly left them. It was a net. They were in a net and being lifted high into the air inside it, tangled in it and around themselves. Once the net stopped ascending, they could hear the four boys laughing again.
"Let us DOWN!" Lily screeched.
"Oh no, this is far too fun for us," Remus yelled to them.
"Remus, I'm warning you!" Liz yelled. "Just let us down, and I won't kill you. I know they bullied you into doing this, you just went along with it!"
"HA!" Sirius said. "This was his idea."
"That it was, Lizzy dear. My idea entirely, even the roped net. How do you like it?" The three girls struggled to move but couldn't seem to. Lily tried to turn over on her stomach so she could look at James, but she was stuck in between Jade and Liz who were trying to do the same thing.
"Curiosity killed the cat," James said. "Or should I say cats! Are you filming this, Peter?"
"Yeah," he said with the camera pointing at the jiggling bundle twenty feet above them and sniggering.
"Let us down, James!" Lily yelled. "This isn't funny anymore!"
"It is from down here, Love. But I think you're right. I'll let you down. Just hang on for a few more seconds." He took out his wand, pointed it at the net and mumbled under his breath. The net lowered slowly to the ground then disappeared. Liz fell first, then Lily on top of her and Jade on top of Lily. They unscrambled, dusted themselves off and stared at the four boys.
Lily was the first to speak: "I don't know what it is, how we're going to do it, or when it's coming. But be warned, it's coming. This means war." Liz and Jade nodded with her and started back up to the castle.
"I look forward to doing battle with you, Commander Evans!" James yelled after her. He watched her and her friends march out of the Forest and back up to the castle.
"'This means war!' What do they think they can do to us? We've already done everything good. What more is there to achieve?" Sirius said.
"Don't worry about it," James said. "They'll never think of anything deceptive."
* * * * *
Lily, Liz, and Jade were all out for breakfast very early the next morning. Neither of them slept well due to the fact that they were thinking up evil schemes in their heads. Of all of them, Lily seemed to be the most vindictive, but the other two were also quite angry and ready to fight back. The first volley of the war began Wednesday morning with a rather simple yet effective plan.
"So what are we going to do to them?" Jade asked.
"I say we set their pants on fire!" Liz said.
"Yeah!" Jade agreed. Lily looked at them and sighed.
"No, no, no," she said, taking out a small vial of pick liquid and a tube of lipstick. "You have to be patient with these things. I'm sure they spent weeks planning what they did to us, that's why they're so good at it; they have patience. I have thought of something very crude but extremely useful in my research last night that I think we should use, but it will take some time. But," she said as she took a sip of the pink liquid, "I also want immediate gratification, and I'm going to get it." Then she applied a generous amount of the pale lip balm on her lips and smiled at them.
"What is that stuff?" Liz asked.
"Our pleasure for the day. This isn't just your ordinary tube of cosmetics, you know. I have laced this with Corona potion. This vial contains the antidote."
"I still don't get it."
"Corona potion isn't life threatening, though it has some nasty symptoms. I have put it on my lips so that when James comes to kiss me, BAM! He's been poisoned. I, however, have taken the antidote, so I'll be fine."
Liz and Jade looked positively thrilled with the idea.
"That is the best plan in the world. If only we could get the other two. I can easily use this with Remus, and if only you were dating Sirius, Jade, we could get him as well. Let me have some of that," Liz said, reaching for the two items. She took a sip from the vial, applied the lipstick, and smiled evilly.
As expected, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter came into the Great Hall like war heroes returning from battle.
"God, look at them!" Jade said disgusted.
"Just act like you're bothered, but forgive them when they apologize. Liz, put those things in your pocket."
"Well hello ladies," James said with a smile. They didn't say anything. "Oh, we're not still sore, are we?" he sat down next to Lily and took her limp hand. "How long are you going to hate me?" he asked her.
"Forever," she answered without facing him.
"It was just a joke, Lily. We didn't mean anything by it."
"It wasn't very funny," Liz said. Remus inched closer to her and put his hands around her waist and kissed her cheek lightly. "What are you doing?" she asked him with a snarl.
"Making up," he said. "Can't I do that?"
"I want to hear ten words from you first," she said.
"What?"
"Liz, I'm sorry for what I did; it was wrong," she said. Remus smiled graciously at her and kissed her hands.
"Liz, I'm sorry for what I did; it was wrong. There, how was that?" he asked.
"Ah, that was perfect. Now let me smooch you," she said with a grin and pulled herself towards him and laid a huge kiss on his lips. James turned to look at Lily.
"Don't think that I'll be so forgiving, James Potter," she said.
"Look, I'm sorry that we scared you and strung you up in some trees, but you do have to admit it was very clever."
"No I don't. Try something else," she said.
"Lily, will you forgive my immature and irresponsible behavior?"
"You're getting warmer," Lily said smiling.
"I'll never do it again, I promise. I'm sorry," he said. Lily couldn't hold back any longer; she was afraid that the air might weaken the poison on her lips. She beamed at him and took hold of the back of his neck and kissed him for a very long time so she could successfully transfer the potion.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "This is nice. Remus and Liz making out right next to me, and James and Lily, going at it as if there was no tomorrow, across from me."
"You're just complaining because you aren't being kissed," Jade said to him snidely. Peter chuckled.
"I don't see you with a woman, Peter," he said.
Professor McGonnagal came over to the table and cleared her throat. All kissing stopped.
"This isn't a street corner or an empty bathroom, you four," she said with her eyebrows raised. "Try to contain yourselves."
"Yes Professor," they all said. Lily was please to see in her small mirror that all of her lipstick was gone. Liz could hardly contain her excitement and kept smiling all through breakfast. Jade had to keep eating to keep from laughing.
When the bell rang, James and Remus kissed Lily and Liz goodbye. Sirius tried to hug Jade, but she wouldn't have it. Then they went to Divination. Once they had left the Hall, the three girls exploded in laughter.
"So when will the potion take effect?" Jade asked.
"Oh I'd say about halfway through History of Magic," Lily answered with a huge grin.
"This is so fun. They don't even expect this. What are the symptoms?" Liz questioned.
"Well it starts with an upset stomach, pretty mild right? Then their eyes will start to burn to the point of tears. Soon their skin will prickle and crawl, and they'll have a series of severe hot flashes that will cause them to sweat profusely. Their stomach aches will increase tenfold, and to top it off they'll have some pretty bad migraines."
Liz and Jade laughed all the way to Arithmancy and couldn't wait 'til Professor Binns' class.
They were all very receptive to the boys as they came into the class talking about how Trelawny had talked about Remus's future with trolls, which made no sense at all. Lily and Liz smiled at them and allowed them to sit with them.
Professor Binns was droning on about something, they really weren't sure what, when James groaned and clutched his stomach. Jade elbowed Lily and winked. Then Remus started to do the same thing.
"Are you alright?" Lily asked. James nodded. He turned to look at her and smiled, but then he started blinking very rapidly and started to tear. "James? Are you sure you're alright?"
"My eyes hurt," he said rubbing them.
"Mine too," Remus said through gritted teeth.
"Whoa, they hurt a lot!" James almost yelled as giant tear drops poured down his face. "I think they're on fire!"
"Yeah, mine too!" Remus screeched. Then the two started to scratch all over; the entire class, except Binns, was watching them with great fascination. James stood up and ran around the class as if hoping the pain would subside. Now he was scratching, crying, and sweating while running around like a moron bouncing off the walls. This would have looked very strange if Remus was doing the exactly the same. They eventually ran into each other with a great "thud" and fell down on the ground where the continued to scratch, cry, and sweat. Remus took of his robe and his tie and threw them down. He started to unbutton his shirt as James was taking off his robe and tie, when Professor Binns finally followed the laughter and saw the two of them.
"Porter! Lufkin! What in God's name are you doing?" Lily, Liz, and Jade were biting their lips to keep from laughing.
"Nurse! We need to see the nurse!" Remus yelled as he stood and ran to the wall to scratch his back. Sirius and Peter ran to them and picked them up. James looked to be worse than Remus, who was now running in circles with red eyes.
Sirius grabbed James, who tried desperately to get away; Peter and a Hufflepuff boy took Remus and escorted them out of the class to the hospital wing. Everyone burst out laughing.
"How long does it last?' Jade asked.
"About an hour," Lily said casually as if instructing someone how long to keep a roast in the oven.
"Don't you think that's a bit rough on them?"
"Nah, they deserve it. They tricked us to go into the Dark Forest then scared us and captured us like animals in a net. Don't worry, they'll be fine once it wears off in a bit."
Madam Pomfrey was startled to see them as they looked to be convulsing. She tried asking them what was wrong, but they covered their ears and moaned because their heads were throbbing. Lily was right, it lasted for a good hour. Madam Pomfrey ordered Sirius and Peter to leave, so they went down to lunch.
Sirius found Lily to be laughing instead of being worrisome about James, which would have been more normal. He walked up to them and sat down.
"So..." he said looking at their smiling faces.
"So..." Lily said with a grin, "How are they? Wait, don't tell me. They have itchy skin, burning eyes, aching stomachs, hot flashes, and headaches, right?"
"Hmmm," Sirius said with a smirk. "How did you do it?" he asked in seriousness.
"A woman doesn't kiss and tell, now does she?" Lily said.
"Kissing. That's it isn't it? You kissed him, and she kissed Remus, that's why they're so sick. So how did you do it?"
"I'm not telling you. I'm just sad we didn't get you and Peter as well."
"You're entering into a league you don't want to enter, Lily," Sirius said as a threat. Jade and Liz smiled at his sour face.
"Oh really? And why is that?" Lily asked as she leaned forward across the table.
"We'll win. I'm warning you now that we will be victorious. We have been doing this for over six years. We know the territory, and you don't. Don't go to battle with us, you'll lose."
"We'll take our chances," Lily said firmly. Sirius smirked at them, got up, and walked out of the Hall.
"What are we going to do, Lily?" Jade asked. Lily smirked evilly and faced them.
"We're going to get 'em!"
*
James and Remus had been informed about their "mysterious" illness and had now entered a state of war. They had pulled out all the stops; they each wrote down ideas, gathered equipment, and constantly discussed tactics in total secrecy. While out in public, however, they maintained their usual personalities. James still kissed Lily in the morning as if nothing was going on, but there was. Classes were as normal as possible for seven people planning disasters for each other.
I guess you could say that the first blow happened on Friday during Potions.
"Please take out your books and turn to page 312 to find the ingredients of today's potion," Professor Wicks said to his class. Lily, Liz, and Jade did just that and opened to the appropriate page and started to read the ingredients.
James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter did the same thing. On page 312, however, of each of their books was a thick white parchment with the words "don't fink" written in red.
"'Don't fink?' What the hell does that mean?" Sirius asked James. Just as he did, the books started to rumble on the desk and in a fraction of a second a thick, black powder, like soot, shot out from the white parchment and covered their faces. It was impossible to even see James's pretty blue eyes because the lenses of his glasses, once sparkling clear, were now opaque with soot. Peter shook his head, and half of the soot fell of his light hair, though it was now very dark. The rest of the class, especially Snape, Robert Lestrange, and Douglas Lacy from Slytherin, were buckled over with laughter. James casually took of his glasses, which left two pink spots around his eyes, and looked at Lily, Liz, and Jade who were waving at them with huge grins spread on their faces.
"What is the meaning of this?" Wicks asked, very upset that his lesson had been interrupted by the usual suspects. Now they knew what the message "don't fink" meant. None of them said anything to Professor Wicks, and for that they were sent to Professor McGonnagal. Still covered in thick, black powder, the four went to see their head of house, who was very upset because she had to leave class to see them.
"Well," she said, "explain yourselves."
That was very difficult as all they could think of was getting even. If they told her the truth then not only were they a bunch of sissylalabedwetters who were getting beaten by three girls at their own game, but they were the ones who started the so-called war. So they just stared at her with their very guilty, soot covered faces.
"Detention for the four of you then," she said. "You will serve it tomorrow. I'll send notice by mail, but you are all too familiar with that. And Mr. Potter, the Head Boy. You should be ashamed of yourself. Do you see Miss Evans going about and making a mockery of herself? I don't think so. Now clean yourselves up and go to class."
James really wanted to tell her that Lily had done this to them, but he thought it would be a bad call. They went to the bathroom, cursed the girls, cleaned the soot off themselves (a lengthy process), and went back to class. Snape was still laughing over the matter.
"Get any in those pearly whites, darling?" Lily asked James with a kind smile.
"No, I didn't, Love."
"That's good, honeybunch."
"Isn't it, sugar lips?" he said, trying to remain calm. They took their seats and continued on with the lesson.
* *
On Monday morning the euphoria of seeing the four pranksters being out tricked, still hadn't worn off.
"Did you see their faces?" Jade asked. "They were priceless! They certainly weren't expecting that one!"
They got dressed in the usual attire, spent several minutes prepping themselves in the bathrooms, and made their way down to breakfast.
"Good morning, dear!" James cheered before he kissed Lily.
"Good morning, sweetie. How did you sleep?"
"Well, and you?"
"Just fine; like a log." They ate breakfast at a normal pace, talked very superficially about the weather and classes. Things were all too formal for the seven of them. Once they had finished, James took Lily's hand, Remus took Liz's, and the other three followed them down to the greenhouses for Herbology.
Like in all other classes, they were unusually polite to one another. Professor Sprout came into the room, smiled, and instructed them to put their bags under the tables as they were dealing with some exceptionally violent snapdragons.
"I'll put your bag under the desk, my little, pretty one," James said with a cheeky smile to Lily.
"Oh, how sweet of you."
"Lizzy," Remus said, "May I also put your bag under the table? I want to be as much of a gentleman as I possibly can be."
"Why of course you can, baby doll," Liz responded.
"Jade," Sirius began.
"No," she said, "you may not touch my bag. Peter can." Peter took the bag and put it under the table with a slight grin to Sirius.
"Class," Sprout said, "the snapdragons are not what you assume them to be. They do not feed on insects like normal dragons do. I actually think they prefer fingers to anything else. I had a student lose a digit last week. Oh he was fine, not to worry, we killed the snapdragon and pried the finger from it's clenched teeth. So..." she said. "Dragon hide gloves on! Very good, let's get to it." She pulled several snapdragons out of her garden and put them on the table so the rest of the class could see them. She started to explain their purpose in life, when the plants got very angry about something and started to throw mud at everyone with their roots.
"Don't panic!" Sprout yelled, though her plants were now out of the pots and moving for the students like rabid dogs. It was utter chaos. The snapdragons seemed to find the students fear of them as a great source of amusement. They spit streams of a thick yellow liquid at everyone which smelled of dirty feet.
Professor Sprout had to get out a very large axe and kill all the snapdragons to bring order back. She was standing on the class table with the enormous axe ready for action; she looked like a Samurai warrior. "They're dead, you can relax. Well, seeing as how this didn't go as I planned, class dismissed. Oh, and the yellow goo that it stuck in your hair and all over your face, that's pollen. Soap and water should do the trick. Goodbye class!"
Lily probably had the most pollen on her face and hair than anyone else did. James tried wiping some of it off her face with his hands.
"Well, I did the best I could. I recommend a shower, though, for your hair."
"Gosh this stuff is so gross!" Liz said trying to take a rather large glob out of Remus's hair.
The entire class headed up to the tower to take showers, which did them a lot of good. Once the soap hit the pollen it washed right off. Once done and dressed, the girls proceeded to redo their makeup. They didn't wear much, as they were all very pretty, but just a little to touch up some blemishes.
Jade reached into her bag for her powder compact, and started to apply it to her face while looking in the mirror. Liz began put on mascara, and Lily some lipstick. Everything seemed routine and normal until Jade screamed.
"AHHHHH!" she yelled, dropping her compact to the floor. Crawling on her hand up her arm were at least a dozen black spiders. Her face, which she had covered with a light layer of the powder, was also crawling with spiders. Lily ran over to her and swiped them off her face.
"Lily!" she yelled and pointed to her lips, but Lily could already feel them. As if hatching on her lips, the spiders grew and scuttled all over her face, and Jade tried to wipe them off, but Lily, who feared spiders, started to run around the bathroom like a headless chicken. Liz also began to scream as the spiders hatched on her eyes and crawled through her hair. Both Liz and Lily were screaming at the top of their lungs.
Liz shook her entire head violently and the spiders flew off and hit the walls. She and Jade ran over to Lily and held her down as they disposed of the arachnids. Once they were all spider free, they leaned against the wall and focused on breathing. They got over the initial shock very quickly, then got down to business.
"I could kill them," Jade said. "They put the spiders in our makeup. That is low. They need to be killed, and I'm going to kill them."
"They must have done it in the short time they had our backpacks," Liz said. "How could we have been so stupid as to give them our bags?"
"I don't know," said Lily thoughtfully. "James knows I hate spiders. He did this to get me. Fine, but we're going to get them back. They want to play with our makeup, do they? Well I don't want to deprive them of that."
* * *
History of Magic and Lunch were very formal affairs bordering on coldness. Lily had to restrain herself, as well as Liz and Jade, from socking the four boys. They hardly spoke to one another for the rest of the day, but when they did it was very strained. The four of them were very smarmy for the rest of the day knowing that their eight-legged friends had accomplished their mission. Girls in the same year as Lily had told James that spiders were in their make-up, which gave him and the others a great delight.
That afternoon when James and Sirius went for Quidditch practice and Remus and Peter studied together in the library, Lily, Liz, and Jade went around to all the girls in the house asking for make-up, preferably very loud shades of lipstick, blush, and eye shadow. The response and support from the rest of the house was astounding. They had two buckets full of cosmetics to work with. They took the buckets up to their dorm room and organized them and decided what ones to use and whom to use them on.
Then they split up. Lily took her wand and waved it in the doorway of the Great Hall for a special effect for the next morning. Jade snuck into the boys dorm and put a spell on their all the boy's beds and the bathroom mirrors. Liz put a spell on the common room and informed some students of the plan and instructed them not to tell James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter.
That night, when all the students were asleep, Lily woke Jade and Liz, gathered the supplies and headed across the way. Lily pushed open the boys' door silently, walked inside, and headed toward James's bed. He was in it, of course, and was in a very deep sleep. Jade went to the bed adjacent to James's, for that's where Sirius slept. Liz went to Remus's and grinned. The girls pulled out their wands and placed them on their subjects' noses. "Bewilderonum," they whispered. Then they got to work. Lily started first with an orange colored foundation all over his face, then bright red blush on his cheeks. She topped him off with some purple eye shadow and purple lipstick.
"This is so much fun," Jade said as she painted Sirius's fingernails a dark blood red.
"It sure is," Liz agreed. "Hey, what are we going to do to Peter?"
"The same," Lily said. "This is going to be great!" she whispered.
Tuesday morning James awoke slowly and looked at the clock on his bed stand. He then realized that he needed his glasses to see properly, so he grabbed those, put them on and looked at the clock again. It was 7:30, time to get up. He was probably the laziest of all the boys in his dorm when it came to getting out of bed, not counting Sirius who was still snoring. James sat up and saw that Remus and Peter were already dressed and nearly ready to go down for breakfast. James drug himself out of bed, hit Sirius a few times so he would wake, then proceeded to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth quickly, looked in the mirror, and tried to flatten his hair.
Sirius came stumbling in and did the exact same thing with more. He combed his hair, brushed his teeth till they squeaked, smiled at his reflection, and called it a day. When they dressed, the four of them walked down to the common room and were received most unusually. A lot of people seemed to be pointing and laughing at them. James and Sirius looked at each other in utter confusion. Each of them checked themselves for toilet paper on their shoes or 'kick me' signs on their backs, but they just looked normal. They tried to shake it off, but it got worse once they left the common room. Huge clicks of people walked by and pointed at them laughing hysterically.
"What is so funny?" Sirius asked them, but this only made them laugh more. One student collapsed to the floor and banged his fists while laughing at the four of them.
"That's it. There has to be something wrong with us. Let's give each other a look," James said as he examined the other three, but nothing appeared to be wrong. "Maybe they all know something about us that we don't."
"Like what?" Sirius asked. "We've already served our overly long detentions and gotten our revenge on our counterparts. What can possibly be this amusing to them?"
"Do you think they put a spell on the entire school to mock us?" Remus said.
"That would be very difficult. Maybe they put a spell on us to think they're laughing at us, but they're really not?" James said. "Whatever it is, it's a good one. Let's just try to ignore it."
But they were laughed at all the way to the Great Hall for no apparent reason. When they entered the Hall, however, a sudden wave of realization hit them. The Hall, which was almost filled with students at breakfast, howled and pointed at the four of them. Sirius saw that even Professor McGonnagal, stern, strict McGonnagal was sniggering. Dumbledore, Professors Gellar, Flitwick, Wicks, and Hagrid all stood up and roared. Peter looked over at Lily, Liz, and Jade who were clearly having the most fun with this, and they waved their fingers at him. Peter looked at his three friends and suddenly saw what was so funny.
Remus looked like an Egyptian Princess with sky blue eye shadow and orange lipstick. James looked like a total transvestite but wasn't dressed in woman's clothing. But Sirius, Sirius was the crème of them all. His hair was green and curly. His face was white and he wore a deep red lipstick with black lip liner. Around his eyes were black circles outlined in gold; he also had red nail polish. Each of them gawked at one another. Students were running up to them and taking their picture.
"Ah," Lily said as she made her way through the crowd to see them. She was flanked by Liz and Jade who couldn't stop grinning. "Don't you four look pretty. That's what happens when you play with makeup. Try to be more conservative next time, James. And Remus, too much color around the eyes."
"And Sirius," Jade said finally able to speak, "you hit it right on the nose. I have never seen the real you before; a circus clown!" she laughed and stomped her feet on the ground.
Wanting desperately to attack them but knowing they couldn't, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter ran as fast as the could out of the Hall and into the nearest boys bathroom. Then they saw themselves in the mirror. Peter looked like a combination of the three: green hair, orange lipstick, and purple eye shadow. They turned on the faucets and splashed their faces with cold water, but they didn't care.
"You know," Sirius said angrily as he rubbed the paint of his face with a paper towel, "our pranks against them have been private...somewhat. This is the third time they have humiliated us! We need to get them!"
"I agree. But I can't think of anything that would do that, unless we recycle their ideas, and that's not going to happen," James said.
"Why didn't we notice ourselves?" Peter asked as he washed his hair.
"They bewitched the mirrors, probably. That was Jade's doing. And they must have put us under a spell so we wouldn't see each other 'til we got to the Great Hall. So far they're topping us at our own game," James said.
"What are we going to do to them?" Sirius asked.
"Let's freak them out somehow. So what if we can't humiliate them," Remus explained. "They only humiliate us because they can't scare us. We can scare them and have so far. I think we should stick with what works."
"Good point, Remus," Sirius said. "So who knows how to remove this green from our hair?"
* * * *
"Did you see the looks on their painted faces when they saw each other?" Jade said at the dinner table with satisfaction. "I'm sorry to say, well maybe I'm not sorry, but Sirius looked the most revolting of all."
"You did an exceptionally good job on him, Jade," Liz said.
"Yes, you can tell there's passion there," Lily said. Jade smiled.
"Oh, here they come!" Jade said. She was right, James was in the lead, of course, followed by the other three who looked smug.
"Hey pretty ladies," Jade said to them.
"Ha, ha. That is so funny. Alright that was a good one, I must admit. But the war isn't over yet. I promise we will prevail in this, for we have more experience at this than you three," James said not sitting next to Lily but on the other side of the table with his three friends.
"Yeah, well," Lily said taking sip of her drink, "I think we've done fairly well so far, and we'll continue to do so until we win. If you four don't admit your loss then we'll continue to humiliate you in front of the entire school. The choice is yours boys."
"Don't you think you're clever," Remus said. "We'll get you back. We will get you back, and you'll have to concede."
Lily and Liz smiled at him. "Blue's a good color for you, Remus," Liz said with a chuckle.
"Oh, Sirius," Jade said, "you still have the polish on your fingers. You might want to pick that off before the next class." Sirius looked down at his fingers and saw she was right. He put them in his pockets and frowned at her. "It's a very lovely shade on you. I picked it out myself," Jade continued on.
"What is your problem?" Sirius asked her. "You have been nothing but cruel to me for a few months now."
"Oh, poor you," Jade said. "For once someone isn't enamored with your high confidence and dashing good looks. You'll get over it, Sirius. I'm going to class, Lily," she said as she got up from her seat.
"Yes, I'll think I'll join you. Liz are you coming?" she said. Liz nodded, got up, and left with the other two.
"What are we going to do to them?" Remus asked as he pounded his fists on the table. "They are getting too happy with themselves. This needs to be stopped!"
"I know," James said. He ran his hands through his hair and stared down at the table. "I think we're going to have to return to the basics, you know? Something simple yet effective."
"She really hates me, doesn't she?" Sirius asked. "Jade really hates me. You know what's really scary about her hating me?"
"What?" James asked.
"It makes me attracted to her. How sick is that?"
"Pretty sick," Peter said playing with his spaghetti.
"Yeah," Sirius said shaking his head.
"Can we focus please?" Remus said with anger. "Jade painted you as a clown, Sirius, a clown. Fall in love later, and focus now!"
"Remus," James said in stunned amazement, "I'm really proud of you. You want to get them don't you?"
"Yes. They're beating us at our own game. We have to show them who's better."
James thought for a short while then shot up in his seat. "I've got it!"
Lily woke suddenly at one in the morning. She thought she had heard something but didn't. She lay back down and tried to relax. It became increasingly difficult to sleep now that they were at war with the boys. Any little prickle she felt on the back of her neck she would swing around and expect to hit someone hiding under the cloak. But for now everything seemed safe; she was just being paranoid.
A half hour later, however, Jade awoke with a start. She thought she had felt something crawling around her legs but was too afraid to look. Then she felt it again. Goose bumps popped up all over her body as she reached her hand out for her sheets.
"AHHHHHH!" she screamed as she saw at least two hundred black beetles crawling all over her. She immediately woke the entire room. Liz threw her sheets off and saw the same thing; the beetles were crawling up her legs and onto her torso moving to her head. Lily also suffered the same fate and screamed bloody murder.
"What's wrong?" Summer Dale asked as she got out of bed.
"AHHHHH!" was all they had to say. All three of them jumped out of their beds at the same time and at the same time they all wished they hadn't. The moment their feet touched the floor, giant buckets full of thick molasses dropped on top of their heads. They screamed even more, ran into the bathroom and got into the showers, clothes and all.
It took forty-five minutes to get the molasses out of their hair, and when they did their anger came rushing back.
"That's it," Jade said with her teeth gritted. "I'm going to strangle them. They need to be strangled at the very least. Maybe we should beat them with bats. Yeah, Sirius's beater bat! Oh please let me hit them! Just a few times!"
"No," Lily said as she battled to put the comb through her hair. "We don't want to hurt them."
"We don't?" Jade asked.
"Yeah, why don't we want to hurt them?" Liz asked.
"Because," was all Lily could say. She too harbored a secret desire to smack the four of them around for a bit.
"We have to do something fast. You know they heard us scream. I'll bet they're in there celebrating right now. I can just hear them hyuking it up in there," Jade said.
"No kidding, Lily. We have to act fast, like tomorrow morning at least. Something simple to tide us over."
"I know," she said. "God look at my beautiful hair! They destroyed my beautiful hair, those numbskulls. Just think of something we could do to them. I'm out of ideas!"
"Me too," Jade said. "My hair is still sticky. I'm going to have to shower again."
Liz dropped her comb. "What did you say?"
"I said I'd have to shower again," Jade said to her.
"No, you said it was sticky," Liz said with triumph on her face. Lily looked at her with a huge smile.
"Oh I hope I'm thinking the same thing you are, Liz, because if I am..."
"This is going to be good!"
* * * * *
After spending most of the night de-beetling the dorm room and shampooing their hair at least three times, they had a hard time sleeping. They spent the rest of the night looking in their school books for the perfect fix. They knew exactly what they were looking for, but it was finding it that was the great problem.
When the time arrived to go to class, they put away their things and left. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were all looking rather impressed with themselves at the bottom of the stairs.
"How did you sleep?" James asked with a huge smirk.
"Fine," Lily said.
"Yeah, just fine. Better than you four will tonight," Jade said.
"That's for darn sure," Liz agreed.
"I could have sworn that I heard some screams of fear coming from your direction last night. Are you sure everything was alright?" Sirius asked.
"Yep. You must have been imagining things, Sirius" Jade said. "Maybe that green dye soaked through and affected your brain cells....No, wait they were like that before the dye."
"What is your problem?" Sirius asked her.
"Well that seems obvious. You just proved your brain cells capability. You're my problem," she replied.
Sensing danger coming, Lily and Liz grabbed Jade and walked out of the common room and down to breakfast.
"Okay," Liz said as she piled eggs onto her plate, "so we didn't find it in our books. Where can we get it?"
"I don't know where you would find it. I don't remember where I saw it last. It's not really a potion so I don't know that we would find it a potion book," Lily said.
"And it's not in any store in Hogsmeade, I checked the catalogs for it," Jade said. Lily thought about her options for a short while then came to only one conclusion.
"McGonnagal. We have to ask her," she stated.
"Are you crazy?" Jade asked. "She'd never tell us."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that. I think she's pretty tired of those four always causing trouble. She might like it if we hit them back. She's not so tough underneath it all, you know. The worst thing that can happen is for her to say no."
"And then detention," Liz said.
"She doesn't give frivolous detentions. I'm asking her. If you don't want to come, then don't."
The two looked at her for a little while, then heard a round of applause coming from Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Gryffindor as James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter came parading through the Hall. The news of their latest victory had obviously been announced; Lily was too involved with getting them back to have noticed all the pointing of fingers in her direction.
"Let's ask her, and let's ask her now," Jade said with absolution. She got up, picked up her books and marched out of the Hall with Lily and Liz in tow. "Lily I think you should be the one to ask, since you're Head Girl and all."
"No problem," she said as she went up to McGonnagal's desk.
McGonnagal looked up over her spectacles and smiled. "What can I do for you, Lily?" She called Lily by her first name since becoming Head Girl, though she still called James, 'Mr. Potter,' or ignored the mister.
"I have a small favor to ask you."
As part of the deal with Professor McGonnagal, Lily promised they would pull their latest prank in Transfiguration the next day. So to keep suspicion up, the three of them huddled and whispered when the warring party was around.
"I can't believe McGonnagal not only said yes but gave it to you," Jade said.
"I know. You'd think she would have at least hesitated about it."
"I told you she would say yes. Did you see the grin on her face as we told her about it?" Lily said.
"What are we whispering about?" James asked as he sat next to Lily.
"You," she said. "We're talking about you."
"Ah, isn't that sweet. It's nice to know I'm so important to you," he said.
"Yeah, isn't it though? Now that you're here, we're going to start our homework so you can go play with your friends now."
"But I want to spend time with you," he said so sweetly that everyone in hearing range wanted to vomit.
"No you don't. You have been urged by your posse to come over and find out what we're going to do to the four of you next. I'm not telling you so you can just go back and do whatever it is that you do with them."
"I'm hurt," he said mockingly.
"Go away James," Lily said. "And don't even think about taking my backpack because I can see your fingers reaching for them."
James smiled cheekily at her, kissed her lightly then walked back to his three friends.
"They're desperate," Lily said with relish.
"Lily, out of curiosity, how long are we going to continue this?" Jade asked.
"Until they give up. You're not thinking about quitting are you? Remember the beetles and the molasses and the spiders and the net in the tree? They did that to us. They started this war, but we are going to end it, right?"
"Right," Liz said. "What if they never give up? Will we be fighting after Hogwarts too?"
"Don't be ridiculous. We'll win. I know we will. Now let's start Arithmancy before it gets too late; we want to rest ourselves."
The next morning they had Charms with the Ravenclaws, which didn't go fast enough. David Butterfield sat next to Jade, who smiled and blushed; Sirius crushed his ink well.
When Charms was over, Jade talked to David in the corridor which distracted Sirius, which there in distracted the other three. Lily and Liz said they'd meet Jade in class then left. As soon as they turned the corner they ran as fast as they could to Transfiguration. McGonnagal was standing excitedly at the door, giddy as a school girl. She closed it when Liz and Lily came in.
"Do you still have it?" she asked them.
"Yes, Professor," Lily said. She walked over to the front corner of the classroom to where James sat, took a small tube of glue from her cloak pocket and applied it to the chair.
"You know I don't approve of this, but someone has to teach them a lesson," McGonnagal said with dignity. She looked very conflicted at the moment as if she shouldn't be showing students her softer side.
"You're secret's safe with us," Lily said smiling as she applied more glue to Remus's seat. Once she completed all four seats, she sat down in her own with Liz right by her. The door opened and the rest of the class filed in. Sirius could be heard arguing with Jade over the other babble. James and the others were so distracted by the drama that they didn't even look in their seats before they sat down. Lily fought a giggle.
"Today," McGonnagal started, looking around the class, "We will be performing human transfiguration. There is nothing to fear, it's not permanent. Who would like to volunteer?"
No one raised their hand.
"How about you, Mr. Pettigrew?" Peter shook his head. "Yes, Pettigrew, come up to the front of the class." But he still shook his head. "Pettigrew, what is the matter?"
"I-I don't want to be transfigured," he squeaked.
"It's not going to hurt you. Now get up here!" Reluctantly, Peter stood up, but the chair came with him; the class laughed, Peter sat back down.
"What is the meaning of this?" McGonnagal asked. "Did you glue your bottom to the chair?" Peter's eyes were as big as saucers and his cheeks went red.
"No," he almost questioned.
"Well them come up here without the chair." But Peter couldn't do that. The moment he stood up the chair came with him. His face became more red with each passing second. He sat back down, pushed down on the chair and tried sitting up.
RIP!
The class roared with laughter as everyone sitting behind Peter could now see his lavender colored underwear. He sat back down and put his hands over his face.
"That's enough!" McGonnagal said over the noise. "Pettigrew, go get new robes." He nodded his head and scuttled out of the room with his hands covering his bottom. "If we could all focus back now onto transfiguration, thank you. Mr. Potter, would you be so kind to step up to the front, this is your best subject."
James was very hesitant about this and turned to look back at Sirius who looked just as worried. James stood slowly and, sure enough, up came the seat. Amongst the laughter, James tried to take of his cloak, but that didn't help. It seemed that the glue or whatever was on his seat had soaked through.
"Is this some kind of joke, Mr. Potter?" she asked. James twisted his neck to look at Lily who was beaming with triumph. "Well, Mr. Potter?"
"No, Professor, there was just something on my seat."
"Oh really? Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, would you also stand." Slowly they both rose with the chairs stuck to their rears. They looked totally humiliated.
"Is this another joke?" McGonnagal asked with her eyebrows cocked.
"No," James said. "I think someone put something on our chairs to make it look that way."
"And who in this class, would do such a thing? Other than you that is?" she asked.
"Well I don't know," James said quietly with his hands folded in front of him, "perhaps Miss Evans?"
"Don't be ridiculous," she said. "Why would she do such a thing? She never has before."
James didn't answer. The entire class was looking at him as if he had been declared idiot of the world.
"Well, Mr. Potter?" she asked again.
"I don't know, Professor," he said, though he wanted to blame Lily.
"I see. Go to your dormitory and fix the problem, that goes for all three of you." Thankful that she didn't issue a detention, James turned, hit the desk behind him with his wooden legs and waddled out of the class. Sirius and Remus joined him with their chairs clanking each other as they walked down the hall.
"They glued our asses to the chairs! They glued our asses to the chairs!" Sirius said as he dug his fingernails into his palm. "How are they doing this to us?"
"This has to stop," Remus said as his chair hit James's.
"We need to do something drastic," James said.
"Yeah, but what?" Sirius asked.
"I don't know I can't think with this thing on my bum. Why do I have to come up with all the ideas?"
"Because you think of them faster," Remus said.
"Okay, we just need to...I don't know!"
"Let's all take a breather and think about this for a while. First, let's get these chairs off, then we'll deal with those girls.
* * * * * *
Snape looked as though Christmas had come early once he had caught word of James's dilemma. On Friday he warned James repeatedly about watching where he sat. All through Potions he kept talking loudly about how he would leave the school if he were James.
"Don't worry about it," Sirius whispered to him, "he does wish he was you."
It seemed like it had been a very long week to the seven of them, and they were all very glad that there was a Hogsmeade weekend to look forward to.
James had given the Quidditch team a little break and canceled Friday practice to which they were all grateful. But James didn't rest. He, Sirius, and Remus (Peter was still too ashamed to come down from his dorm) were working very busily at a table in the corner. When Liz went over to see, they all put their work under the table. What they were doing would be answered in a short while.
After a long week, Lily, Liz, and Jade were very tired and fell fast asleep as soon as their heads made contact with their pillows. But Lily was still very nervous about the on goings of her little war and was awoken quite suddenly in the middle of the night. She threw off her covers and got out of bed.
"Who's there?" she asked in a whisper. She felt very stupid doing it, like she was overly paranoid, but she was at battle.
No one was there but she felt a presence. "James?" she said. Still not even a slight noise. She shook it off and went to go back to bed when she felt a hand around her lips and her waist and she was carried out of the dorm, trying to scream.
Jade was the first to wake on Saturday morning, then Liz. They talked about what they thought the boys were going to try next and laughed it off because they weren't going to win. They sat on their bed and watched the clock tick on wondering if Lily would wake soon. Finally, Jade went up to the bed to see if she was even in it, and cried out when she opened the curtains.
Liz came running over and saw a note lying on Lily's pillow. She picked it up, opened it and read:
'Leader takes leader,
I hope you will miss.
Go here to find the first kiss.'
"They took Lily!" Jade said.
"But where?"
"I don't know. It's a clue but I don't get it," Jade said. They both looked at it for several seconds before Jade hit her head. "I got it, Myrtle's bathroom!" They ran out of Gryffindor tower to the bathroom and thrust open the door. They could hear Myrtle sobbing in her toilet but tried to ignore her. They went to the other side of the wall behind the sinks. Lily wasn't there but another note was. It read:
'Seek to find the one we took.
To chase us, here you must look.
You must know by now that the one we keep,
Thinks we have you two quite beat.'
They exchanged very confused looks and read it again.
"Well that's vague," Liz said. "That could be anywhere."
"Wait a second," Jade said. She read it a few more times then smiled. "Seek, chase, keep, beat. It's rather brilliant actually."
"Why?" Liz asked confused.
"Don't you get it? Seeker, Chaser, Keeper and Beater! The next clue is on the Quidditch field."
"We have to go all the way down there just to get the next clue? It's cold out there!"
"So wear a scarf. Come on," Jade said, and they trudged through the snow to the field. The next note was in a red envelope near the main entrance to the field. Jade picked it up and read:
'Ah alas this is the last note we leave.
I hope this final task you can achieve.
Think not of an English King,
Nor of a diamond ring.
Subtract a founder of Rome,
Who lives in a country home.
Forget the small, shy one,
Whose other name can be Simon.
To find the innocent flower,
You must first search this tower.'
"We're never going to find her," Liz said.
"She's in a tower," Jade said looking up at the castle.
"Yeah, there are many and she's not in Gryffindor. That leaves about twenty left and we don't know how to get to half of them."
"So what is the clue?" Jade asked looking it over many times.
"English King, diamond ring? This makes no sense," Liz said. "I really hate riddles. No wonder they were working so hard yesterday. Just reading it gives me a headache."
"Yeah. This one is tough. English King, diamond ring? Founder of Rome, country home?"
"Wait, Remus lives in the country!" Liz said with excitement.
"Romulus and Remus founded Rome! That's it! English King and diamond ring is James! He gave the ring to Lily and how many kings have that name!" she exclaimed jumping up and down.
"Okay, okay. But we're not supposed to know their names, cause it says 'think not' and 'subtract'. The small one must be Peter so the one missing is Sirius. Now what?"
Jade thought hard and looked at the riddle again. "'Innocent flower, that's Lily. So they all have to do with name origins, doesn't it? How does this help with Sirius?"
"Gosh I don't know. You're the one who loves him."
"Well, Sirius is..."
"A star!" Liz said. "I got it! The Astronomy Tower! I got it, I got it!" she sang as she danced in the snow.
"Let's go!" Jade yelled and started to run back to the castle. They ran up the stairs, past many doors and paintings, and up the long spiral staircase to the Astronomy tower. The door was unlocked; they opened it and pushed hard. Lily was smiling at them when they came in. She was still wearing her pajamas and also James's black cloak.
"You found me!" Lily shouted and she ran for them. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were all grinning in the corner as they watched. "I was watching you in the field. You guys got that pretty fast."
"I got it!" Liz said. "Jade got the other two, but I got this one!" she said waving the note in her hand.
"Did they treat you okay?" Jade asked her.
Lily grinned, "Yeah they did."
"No torture?" Liz asked.
"No, no torture," Lily laughed.
"So what happens now?" Jade asked.
"Well," Lily said, "we were talking this morning and last night about that."
"And?" they both asked. James came up behind Lily and put his hands on her shoulders.
"And we thought it would be best to call a truce," he said, Lily nodded. "We consider you three as equals. We completely underestimated your ability to humiliate us. You three did very well and we could fight for the rest of the year like this."
"But we want to stop. That's why they kidnapped me, so we could talk it out and negotiate," Lily said.
"So it's all over," Jade said a bit relieved. "Thank goodness. No more spiders or beetles."
"Or molasses," Liz added. She smiled and went over to Remus and hugged him.
Jade could feel Sirius looking at her, but she didn't make eye contact. She shook James, Remus, and Peter's hands but overlooked Sirius, who put out his hand to her. She took it reluctantly then dropped it quickly.
"Jade," Sirius said with concern, "what have I done?"
"You've done nothing," she said lightly but with a slight tone or anger. "Are we going to Hogsmeade?" she asked everyone else.
"Yeah, I have to change though," Lily said.
"Alright, I'm going to go down to breakfast," Jade replied and then took off. James looked Sirius straight in the eye and whispered to him, "Go after her!" Sirius didn't need telling twice. He ran down the staircase for her.
"Jade, wait up!" he called, but she kept walking. "Hey," he said as he pulled her back. "What is the matter with you? You've been treating me like garbage for months now, and I'm tired of it."
"Oh, poor you," she said.
"Tell me what is my crime?"
"Intense egotism," she said and started to walk off again.
"What? Look all five of those people up there like me fair enough with my ego and all. You used to like me, love me even, but now I don't know what your problem is."
"There is no problem," she said.
"Well I'm glad we settled that one," he said sarcastically.
"Yep."
"Where are you going now? Off to snog David Butterfield?"
"You have a problem with that?" she asked.
"Only that I compete against him next week, and he tried hitting on my best friend's girlfriend."
"Oh come now. He was not, and even if he was, she was his ex-girlfriend at the time. I thought we discussed this already; he was talking to me."
"That's not what it looked like."
"Then maybe you're the one who needs glasses."
"That's harsh. Got anything else before you marry Butterboy?"
"Get out of my face, Sirius!"
"No, you get out of mine."
"I was here first! You came after me so you get out of my face!"
"You know what Jade?"
"What?" she asked angrily.
"I don't want to be your friend anymore." Jade was taken aback but tried not to show it.
"Is that so?"
"Yes, that's so."
"Why may I ask?"
"Because I officially hate you," Sirius said putting his hands on his hips.
"How mature of you. Well, if we're going to act like children, since every thing needs to be brought down to your level, I hate you back!"
"You sound a lot like Lily when you fight, you know that?"
"Don't change the subject. So we're no longer friends?"
"No. I don't want to be friends with you anymore, things just aren't working out."
"Fine, I don't want to be friends with you either!" she shouted.
"Fine, neither do I."
"Fine," she said.
"Fine."
"So that's settled then."
"I guess so. We're no longer friends."
"Great!" she felt like she could cry and wanted to run away from him to her dorm.
"Perfect! I didn't like us as friends anyway," he said. And then as if out of nowhere, Sirius put his hands on the back of her neck and pulled her towards him and kissed her passionately.
