Chapter Nine: The worst and best

Disclaimer: I don't own it…any of it…

Author's note: Thanks again for the nice reviews! And the next chapter will be up tomorrow. ^_^

Lily appeared at the front door to James's house, surprised at herself for coming there, but then again, it was Sirius that she wanted to talk to. She knocked on the door.

            "Lily," Sirius said, opening the door, eyes wide. She was quite a sight, hair frizzled and green eyes red with tears. "James is in the kitchen." He said immediately, but Lily grabbed his arm.

            "No, I need to talk to you," she said. She was crying again, and Sirius was very uncomfortable. This was James's sort of thing, not his. Why didn't she want to talk to James? Had they had a row? But Lily was already talking, shakily explaining.

            "It's about my family, and James doesn't understand, I don't know what to do!" She grabbed the front of his robes hysterically. "I don't want him to feel bad about this. It's my fault, not his. Sirius, I know that you have family problems too,"

            Sirius stiffened. He pulled Lily off of him and ushered her inside. James was sitting at the kitchen table and jumped to his feet at the sight of her.

            "Lily what happened?" He demanded, taking her from Sirius and holding her. Sirius was very relieved to have handed over that duty, and told James what she had said.

            "Its silly." Lily said shakily. She shook her head; red hair even messier than it had been minutes ago.

            "No," James said. "It wasn't silly. I figured this was coming." Lily stared at him.

            "You knew?" she asked. James nodded.

            "Well you and Petunia didn't exactly get along huh?" he had a point. "And you were right in thinking to talk to Sirius. So go ahead. I'll be quiet."

            Sirius, thinking that he was done with the whole thing, blanked out. Lily looked much calmer now that James was comforting her, but he still didn't want to say anything that might make her burst into tears again…

            "Explain about your brother." James prompted, and Sirius cleared his throat.

            "Err…alright then. My brother Regulus." He looked very uncomfortable. Talking about it with James was one thing, but Lily? She'd probably flip out. "He and I don't get along."

            "Yes," James said impatiently. "But tell her why. She wont flip, she didn't when she found out about Remus."  James looked incredibly happy about this, but Sirius wasn't so reassured.

            "Regulus…err…my family…" he began. James tapped his foot. "Err, they aren't the nicest people…" James was tapping his hand on the table. "I ran away you know…"

Now James was clearing his throat… "And well…my brother, my fault…" James sighed dramatically.

            "Come on Padfoot, just say it." James said. Sirius glared.

            "You're making me nervous James!" he said finally. Lily giggled at them. Sirius never got nervous. Ever.

            "Would you like me to explain it for you, or leave?" James asked.

            "Either is fine with me." Sirius said coolly. James nodded.

            "See ya!" he said, and left the kitchen. Lily watched him go, shocked, then smiled. She knew what he was doing. He wanted Sirius to talk about it, and he wanted Lily to listen. Somehow, if he was there, Sirius might use James as a cushion and not deal with it. Sirius also looked shocked, but smiled after a moment.

            "Better!" he called to James, and then to Lily, "My family is an old wizarding family that hates muggles." Lily knew this. She had talked to Bellatrix Black and heard the taunts of Lucius Malfoy. "And my parents aren't Death Eaters. But they support you-know-who. My brother Regulus…" Lily nodded encouragingly and watched Sirius take a shaky breath. "He joined the ranks of the Death Eaters."

            Lily's stomach clenched. But…Regulus was just a kid! Fifteen years old at the most.  "Sirius, I didn't know. I'm sorry." She said quietly. "Suddenly…my problem seems silly." She almost sniffled, but managed to stop herself.

            "Lily, It isn't silly." Sirius said. "Do you know how guilty I feel, every day? Every time I see my brother's face in my head? His little two-year-old smile, before he got these crazy ideas? I could have done something, I could have saved him!"

            "You still can, right?" Lily asked timidly. She had no idea…no idea that Sirius felt this strongly about anything. He was always very cool and unafraid.

            "He's dead."  Lily's eyes widened. Sirius was very quiet, unnaturally so. She didn't say anything at all for a long time. "He was killed by a fellow supporter. Supposedly he was ordered to kill me, and wouldn't do it."  Lily was silent still. "Imagine that. He died because of me. And what did I ever do to him but hate him? Lily, I've been around your family a few times, and James has told me. If something ever happens to Petunia, like it did to my brother…you'll never forgive yourself. Believe me." He had a haunted look in his dark eyes. Lily stared at him, half afraid that he would start crying.

            "Oh Sirius…" Lily said finally. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she pulled her friend into a hug. "That's so sad…" Sirius looked away, trying to smile.

            "Oh c'mon Lily, I was the one comforting you a minute ago…no big deal…I'm aright." But deep down, he was glad he had friends like Lily and James. Hopefully they would be with him for a long, long time.  "Tell me what happened to make you come all the way here to talk to me." He said.

            Lily wiped her eyes and sat back. "We had another fight, and I yelled at my mum. I never yell at my mum."

            "Oh?" Sirius asked.

            "I was making a destruction draught, you know, practicing, and I was so worked up about her wedding I got all distracted."

            "Big mess?"

            "Oh ya." Lily said miserably. "The kitchen floor is all charred, and the stove irreparable."

            Sirius nodded. It was perfectly understandable to wreck the kitchen every now and then. James had done it at least once a week since Sirius had come to stay.

            "Why were you worked up about the wedding?" he asked.

            "I don't know if I should go. She invited me because my parents forced her to, but she said that she wouldn't allow James to come."

            "Oh…" Sirius realized Lily's dilemma. The girl would never do something like that to James, to hurt his feelings by telling him he wasn't wanted.

            "I won't go. If James doesn't go, I don't go. You know what I mean right? I couldn't talk to anyone else, because I know they'll tell me to go anyway, please Sirius tell me I shouldn't go."

            Sirius was silent, thinking deeply.

            "If Petunia died the day after the wedding, would you wish you had gone, to see her happy one last time? If your parents died a week later, would you be able to go to their funeral and not feel guilty?"

            Lily sniffled. "So, you think I should go to, even though I hate her to no end?"

            "She is still your sister Lily, as Regulus was my brother. You are too kind a girl to have to live with this kind of guilt that I feel."

            Lily collapsed into tears, and James came back into the room.

            "Thank you Sirius, you said it better than I ever could. And Lily," James put his head to hers, "I won't go to the wedding, I'm not upset."

            "But I am!" Lily wailed.

            "But I'm not. And isn't that what you're worried about anyway? That I would feel bad? Cause I don't. And it isn't your fault either. I was the one who got the snitch in her hair and all." Lily smiled weakly.

            "Alright. You win. Thank you Sirius," she got up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. To her amusement, he blushed.

            "Where's mine?" James demanded. "I helped comfort too!"

            Lily kissed him on the lips, thoroughly cheered up.

            Lily walked into the church and took a seat in a very back pew. She didn't want to be recognized, so was wearing a plain pink muggle dress, and had her wand stowed carefully in her handbag. Her dark hair was plaited under a hat, and a she wore James's glasses to hide her eyes. (She peered over them like an old lady too, as James was near blind and looking through them made her dizzy) The other guests didn't even take a notice of her, although her mother gave a startled gasp when they bumped each other. Lily gave her the "don't tell" signal, and her mother complied with a knowing smile.

The church was small and quaint, a white building with a tall steeple. It was decorated according to her sister's taste, overly cheerful and flowery. Lily muttered to herself about having to come here at all, but settled down when the music started and the procession of people in frilly dresses filed down the aisle.

Lily watched curiously. It wasn't the first time she had been to a wedding. Plenty of family friends had gotten married, and she had even been to one wizarding wedding, the Longbottom's. (She had been a bridesmaid.) There wasn't anything particularly interesting about this one, and she sighed boredly as Vernon Dursley strolled up the aisle, proud and nervous. He was huge as ever, and clothed in a dashing tuxedo.

Then, finally, came the bride. All heads turned to look as Petunia walked in, led by Mr. Evans. Petunia, Lily had to admit, looked beautiful. Her short blonde hair was framed in white beads and a long veil, her cheeks were flushed and her eyes sparkling. She was happy. Lily was startled for a moment, and then suddenly she realized why Sirius and James wanted her to come. Petunia was happy.

Never before had Lily seen her sister look this way, and probably she never would again. Petunia simply shone with bliss, she took each step purposefully and elegantly, and deserved every ray of sparkle that encompassed her.

Petunia was at the front of the church now, and Mr. Evans handed her over to her new husband, as was traditional, and the priest began to speak. Lily didn't hear much of what he said, it was all the same as at every other wedding, but she couldn't take her eyes off her sister. It was as if someone had spelled Petunia into being someone else, someone entirely different. The couple kissed, and amidst loud cheering, exited the church to go to the reception.

At the reception, Lily didn't dance or sing or eat much of anything. She just watched her sister, mostly, quietly, thinking. She knew most of the guests, but they didn't come talk to her, either because she seemed so unsocial or because they didn't recognize her. At one point, when Petunia was talking to her parents and about her family, Lily overheard and starting crying a little.

"All right there dear?" a woman asked. Lily nodded and smiled, pointing over at Petunia.

"Yes, thank you. Just sad to see her all grown up." The woman nodded sympathetically, poured herself a drink, and moved on.

Lily tried to avoid the camera at all costs, but Mrs. Evans insisted that she stand in for one picture. Petunia was so swept up that she didn't even notice the person her mother was hugging in the picture next to her, and chattered continually about how happy she was.

In the end, Lily slipped out the door before the crowd would leave. It was late at night and she wanted to get home. One last glance at her sister, her worst and best friend, and she was gone.

Author: Questions? Comments? See you tomorrow! Thanks!