Disclaimer: I don't own 'em! At least all the normal characters you recognize, I'm just borrowing the said characters. If I owned them, you could guarantee BtVS wouldn't be nearly such a good show as it is now! The story, my ego, and my soul belong to me, but if you want to give a kind donation, *ahem* I'll loan 'em out! LOL. J/K.
Author's Notes: This is the last in a series of letters between the most unlikely, and likely people. There will be four in the "Passion for Death" series: Drive, Reasons, Escape, and Heaven. The first is from Spike's POV, the second is from Darla's POV, the third is from Buffy's POV, and the fourth is from Dawn's POV. These four characters will have more in common then you first would suspect. NO PAIRINGS.
Summary: Dawn has a lot of questions, but is there really room in her heart to hate?
Song: "You better lose yourself in the moment… you only get one shot, do not miss your chance…" Lose Yourself - Eminem
Rating: 14-A for language and slight violence
Heaven
Fourth in the "Passion For Death" series
By ~Delenn~
Sister,
I'm really, really, really mad at you! I mean, REALLY MAD! But I don't hate you. I couldn't. Not ever. And truthfully, I'm probably more mad at Xander and all them for feeling the need for sharing all the icky details with me.
And now I guess I have to say the adult thing, now that you can't repeat it. You can't repeat anything, right? I mean, to us down here? You better not. Anyway, I know that you always loved me, key or no, it wasn't you that I thought hated me, it was me. I know that, just, ya know, not something I like to admit. Don't worry, it'll never happen again.
Buffy! I don't WANT a normal life! That's what you never got! I'm still the key; I'm still the Slayer's little sister, and I don't want to be normal. That was your dream; never mine. Who wanted to go patrolling with whom remember?
You're right, I don't understand. I still don't get it. I mean; I know you died, but you went to HEAVEN, not hell, so why couldn't you still see the good fight? Oh yeah, I forgot, we were your hell. Gee, aren't you just the most loving sister?
And yeah, you slept with him, but you liked him, I did too. Don't pull that evil demon crap with me, Anya was an evil demon, so was Angel, I don't care about the soul. Look at what Angel did to you? Kind of important part of the curse to leave out, don't you think? And so what if I wasn't there, I still remember it all, you know.
What I don't get is why you just gave in, accepted defeat, accepted death, accepted that your role was over. How could you know for sure? You got brought back, didn't you? Ever think that that was part of the plan too? No, of course you didn't. How could being with us in hell be part of your divine destiny.
Like you said, you're the Slayer, it's what you do, you fight. But you never once fought for your life, fought to be with me then. Why, Buffy? That's what I don't understand. You were just a shell when you came back. I know it was hard, but damn, you should have fought for life, not just for the end of the battle. That's the same, human, key, or Slayer; the fight is the same as the weakness.
Can you say way too much information? Couldn't you even let me think that it was the fairytale that I wanted in the beginning, even if it didn't have a happy ending. Or maybe it did, didn't you both get what you wanted? You hurt each other; I get it, fine. But Buffy, you never wanted to be back, you still wanted to be dead, and without you, he wanted to be dead. I should know, I spent the summer in fear that he would leave like you had.
You're right though, I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to think about it! I want to know that he was wrong and evil and it was horrible, I want to hate him. It's hard, I mean, I knew I loved him, like a brother, someone I could tell anything. Someone I trusted. But I guess I didn't know him at all, did I? I never thought he'd do that to you, I believed that he loved you!
I get that it hurt you; it hurt me, after the fact. Yeah you loved him, you would have forgiven him too, wouldn't you? We all would have. Well, maybe not Xander, but then you probably never would have told him, would you? I know you think you wouldn't have, but you're wrong. We loved him, remember?
And maybe it would have just been because you would have sat down with me, and talked about whatever you two did to each other beforehand. We could have figured it out. Done the death threat thing together, forgiven, and never forgotten. Maybe you would have pulled me back and let him explain before I staked him. Hmm? See, Buffy, this is what I'm mad at you for. It was all so simple, wasn't it? He does that to you, you kill him, you kill yourself. Buffy gets to go back to heaven and Spike doesn't have to live without her. Sounds to me like you both got what you wanted.
If it was so brutal, why didn't you stop him? I mean, you've been stronger then him before. And why did he do that!? I WANT TO KNOW, and nobody can tell me!
Great, now I sound like I blame you. I don't. I mean, god, how could either of us have known?! It's just, I miss you, and I miss what could have happened. Don't forget, I've had lots of time to plan out other scenarios that never would have worked in real life. Because in real life, you staked him, then you killed yourself. Or staked yourself actually… some sort of poetic ending or something, right?
So while I haven't, WON'T forgive him, I've forgiven you for leaving me. I can't even imagine what it would have been like if you were still here, but I'll take a wild guess that shell-Buffy was nothing compared to who that would have been. I'm just talking personality wise too, they did tell me a bit about why there had to be a closed casket. Okay, so they told me everything. I just hope he looked like shit before the dust hit the floor. Sorry, I know you'll flip up there over all this swearing. I am sixteen now though!
I know that you love me, Buffy; I love you too, always and forever. What's it like up there? I mean, you're happy. But what is Heaven really like. Is it nice, is it peaceful, is it everything you wanted or everything you deserved? Because if it's the second, then it's gotta be damn nice! You deserve lots Buffy; I DO understand why you had to leave me.
I'll pass on the message to Willow, but I wouldn't worry about her and magic's, Tara's keeping her eye out on Willow. And without you; I have to say, the gang is pretty trashed. All of us, we miss you so much, it's hard, you know? Especially for poor Tara, finding you wasn't the best good night, I guess.
I'm doing good, I miss you though. Life is as normal as it can be, did you know the hellmouth closed? Just like that. Another one opened up somewhere else and the two new Slayers (apparently there was one from when you went to heaven last time, too) are busy elsewhere. Without the demons, Sunnydale is pretty boring, but it's nice not being afraid to walk at night.
I'm living with Will and Tara, yeah, and they're being great to me. Pancake breakfasts every morning. I swear; I'll be really fat soon! But they take good care of me, just like you did. It's okay about the note, by the way, everyone understood. Gory details, remember?
I'll pass on all the messages, and I'm sure Giles will want to see the letter. That's okay, right… if I show the letter to everyone? They need to hear your goodbye.
Your devoted little sister, Dawn
Author's Notes: This is the last in a series of letters between the most unlikely, and likely people. There will be four in the "Passion for Death" series: Drive, Reasons, Escape, and Heaven. The first is from Spike's POV, the second is from Darla's POV, the third is from Buffy's POV, and the fourth is from Dawn's POV. These four characters will have more in common then you first would suspect. NO PAIRINGS.
Summary: Dawn has a lot of questions, but is there really room in her heart to hate?
Song: "You better lose yourself in the moment… you only get one shot, do not miss your chance…" Lose Yourself - Eminem
Rating: 14-A for language and slight violence
Fourth in the "Passion For Death" series
By ~Delenn~
Sister,
I'm really, really, really mad at you! I mean, REALLY MAD! But I don't hate you. I couldn't. Not ever. And truthfully, I'm probably more mad at Xander and all them for feeling the need for sharing all the icky details with me.
And now I guess I have to say the adult thing, now that you can't repeat it. You can't repeat anything, right? I mean, to us down here? You better not. Anyway, I know that you always loved me, key or no, it wasn't you that I thought hated me, it was me. I know that, just, ya know, not something I like to admit. Don't worry, it'll never happen again.
Buffy! I don't WANT a normal life! That's what you never got! I'm still the key; I'm still the Slayer's little sister, and I don't want to be normal. That was your dream; never mine. Who wanted to go patrolling with whom remember?
You're right, I don't understand. I still don't get it. I mean; I know you died, but you went to HEAVEN, not hell, so why couldn't you still see the good fight? Oh yeah, I forgot, we were your hell. Gee, aren't you just the most loving sister?
And yeah, you slept with him, but you liked him, I did too. Don't pull that evil demon crap with me, Anya was an evil demon, so was Angel, I don't care about the soul. Look at what Angel did to you? Kind of important part of the curse to leave out, don't you think? And so what if I wasn't there, I still remember it all, you know.
What I don't get is why you just gave in, accepted defeat, accepted death, accepted that your role was over. How could you know for sure? You got brought back, didn't you? Ever think that that was part of the plan too? No, of course you didn't. How could being with us in hell be part of your divine destiny.
Like you said, you're the Slayer, it's what you do, you fight. But you never once fought for your life, fought to be with me then. Why, Buffy? That's what I don't understand. You were just a shell when you came back. I know it was hard, but damn, you should have fought for life, not just for the end of the battle. That's the same, human, key, or Slayer; the fight is the same as the weakness.
Can you say way too much information? Couldn't you even let me think that it was the fairytale that I wanted in the beginning, even if it didn't have a happy ending. Or maybe it did, didn't you both get what you wanted? You hurt each other; I get it, fine. But Buffy, you never wanted to be back, you still wanted to be dead, and without you, he wanted to be dead. I should know, I spent the summer in fear that he would leave like you had.
You're right though, I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to think about it! I want to know that he was wrong and evil and it was horrible, I want to hate him. It's hard, I mean, I knew I loved him, like a brother, someone I could tell anything. Someone I trusted. But I guess I didn't know him at all, did I? I never thought he'd do that to you, I believed that he loved you!
I get that it hurt you; it hurt me, after the fact. Yeah you loved him, you would have forgiven him too, wouldn't you? We all would have. Well, maybe not Xander, but then you probably never would have told him, would you? I know you think you wouldn't have, but you're wrong. We loved him, remember?
And maybe it would have just been because you would have sat down with me, and talked about whatever you two did to each other beforehand. We could have figured it out. Done the death threat thing together, forgiven, and never forgotten. Maybe you would have pulled me back and let him explain before I staked him. Hmm? See, Buffy, this is what I'm mad at you for. It was all so simple, wasn't it? He does that to you, you kill him, you kill yourself. Buffy gets to go back to heaven and Spike doesn't have to live without her. Sounds to me like you both got what you wanted.
If it was so brutal, why didn't you stop him? I mean, you've been stronger then him before. And why did he do that!? I WANT TO KNOW, and nobody can tell me!
Great, now I sound like I blame you. I don't. I mean, god, how could either of us have known?! It's just, I miss you, and I miss what could have happened. Don't forget, I've had lots of time to plan out other scenarios that never would have worked in real life. Because in real life, you staked him, then you killed yourself. Or staked yourself actually… some sort of poetic ending or something, right?
So while I haven't, WON'T forgive him, I've forgiven you for leaving me. I can't even imagine what it would have been like if you were still here, but I'll take a wild guess that shell-Buffy was nothing compared to who that would have been. I'm just talking personality wise too, they did tell me a bit about why there had to be a closed casket. Okay, so they told me everything. I just hope he looked like shit before the dust hit the floor. Sorry, I know you'll flip up there over all this swearing. I am sixteen now though!
I know that you love me, Buffy; I love you too, always and forever. What's it like up there? I mean, you're happy. But what is Heaven really like. Is it nice, is it peaceful, is it everything you wanted or everything you deserved? Because if it's the second, then it's gotta be damn nice! You deserve lots Buffy; I DO understand why you had to leave me.
I'll pass on the message to Willow, but I wouldn't worry about her and magic's, Tara's keeping her eye out on Willow. And without you; I have to say, the gang is pretty trashed. All of us, we miss you so much, it's hard, you know? Especially for poor Tara, finding you wasn't the best good night, I guess.
I'm doing good, I miss you though. Life is as normal as it can be, did you know the hellmouth closed? Just like that. Another one opened up somewhere else and the two new Slayers (apparently there was one from when you went to heaven last time, too) are busy elsewhere. Without the demons, Sunnydale is pretty boring, but it's nice not being afraid to walk at night.
I'm living with Will and Tara, yeah, and they're being great to me. Pancake breakfasts every morning. I swear; I'll be really fat soon! But they take good care of me, just like you did. It's okay about the note, by the way, everyone understood. Gory details, remember?
I'll pass on all the messages, and I'm sure Giles will want to see the letter. That's okay, right… if I show the letter to everyone? They need to hear your goodbye.
Your devoted little sister, Dawn
