Chapter 2
[A/N]: I have a feeling that this story is going to be good. Each chapter is going to be short, because I know I hate it when the chapters are really long; It just makes you want to stop in the middle of the chapter and don't finish it. But I will update sooner than normal fics. Also, if I'm skipping from subject to subject, don't mind me. I know what I'm doing…
-Chapter 2-
If only someone knew what goes through my mind; the pain I feel when I know I'm unwanted… when I know people refer to me as Lizzie's friend even though they know my name… or the fact that I go home everyday feeling like crap… or even that I cry myself to sleep, wishing I was in a different world surrounded by love. Love, what exactly is love? I wouldn't know; I've never experienced it. I'm too scared to trust anyone or let someone love me. That's another thing; I'm afraid to trust. I don't even trust my best friends… not even my family.
I remember one day at school I wasn't putting on the front like I normally do, so I was looking a little down; nobody noticed except Gordo. He repeatedly asked me what was wrong; all I did was shrug and say nothing, not wanting him to know what was running through my mind. After five minutes of trying to figure out why I looked as though someone had just died, Gordo finally gave up. But he said something to me that made me think. He told me, "Miranda, you have to open up and trust someone."
Okay, maybe that's not the best advice Gordo has given me, but when he told me that, it was like this little trigger went off; that's when I realized that if I couldn't even trust my best friend anymore, then there must be something really wrong with me.
To everyone else, I'm the same Miranda that they've known me to be. But I've changed, a lot… mind wise. Most of the time, I hate to think; I mean about what's going on around me. Because I know every time I do, I always think negative about things and become in a deeper state of depression… further than I am now, if that's what it is. But when I come home from school, its like im forced in my room. I don't want to be around my family, so what else is there to do besides think? Exactly, nada… nothing…zip. I don't know, some times I find myself daydreaming about how I wish my life could be. How pathetic huh? It actually makes matters worse. But how worse could my life get?
I know that they say in life, there's nothing to loose, that's true, because with me, I've already lost everything.
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