[A/N]: A new chapter. Some of you were dying to know what happened at the party.. Well this is it. I hope you like it. I think I had most of you thinking what Gordo wanted to tell Miranda, but it might come to you as a shock. Things aren't always what they seem. : D Any who. Review please and let me know what you think. Feedback is wanted, needed, and craved (sorry Lauren had to use it).
-Chapter 15-
As we approached the door to Ethan's house, Miranda's my mom drove off. Miranda walked up to the door stretching her hand out to turn the door handle until I reached my hand out stopping her from opening it. She glanced back at me and gave him an odd look. I couldn't go on any longer without her knowing. For every moment I was around her, it made me realize how big of a mistake I was making by not telling her what I knew she needed to know.
"Miranda-" I started. By the look on her face I could tell she was avoiding this moment, the moment of truth. She didn't even know what I was going to tell her. "About -" Yet, just like the others, she stopped me from talking.
"Its, its okay." The only thing that ran through my mind was what if she already knew what I was going to say; what if, she just wasn't ready to hear it. I couldn't take a chance; I had to tell her before anything else happened.
"But, no it's not okay. You see, I should have already told you this; I kept putting it off and putting it off because I didn't know what your reaction would have been. And, I didn't want to take the chance of messing up our friendship." My hands started shaking as I stood there, my heart feeling as though it would burst any second now because of the rapid beating. Miranda seemed confused. Maybe she didn't know what I was about to say. She stood there looking at me; uncertain of what would come next.
"What, what do you mean?" She stuttered out. This was it. No matter how nervous I was, how much I was afraid of what her reply would be, I had to tell her.
"Yo Gor-don, Miranda, the parties in the hizzouse. Why are you guys standing out here? You're missing all the action." Ethan pushed us both into the loud house. I turned around to see Ethan following his own shadow, and Miranda looking at me still puzzled. My chance had buried itself into a black whole. It seemed as though every time I would find the right moment to tell her, something would interrupt. As much as I wanted to pull her to an empty room and explain everything to her, I had a gut feeling that this wasn't the right place to do it.
It wasn't even a few seconds before we lost touch of each other. The house was packed with screaming high school students, who looked much older than freshmen. I squeezed through the crowd searching for Miranda, yet I didn't find her. Ethan's house wasn't all that big, but with over three hundred people in a three bedroom house that had furniture pilled on top of furniture, it was a little more difficult than it seemed.
Ethan walked up to me from nowhere. "GORD-ON!" He had to be screaming to the top of his lungs, but I barley heard a sound. "Where's Lizzie!?"
"She couldn't come!" I yelled back, not sure if he heard me. He murmured something. "What?!?" Before he could repeat himself, the crowd pushed him back in the direction away from me. I couldn't take the loud music any longer; I started to walk upstairs before someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see an unfamiliar face.
"Hey, your name Gordo?" I started to question in my mind who the person could be.
"Yeah; why?"
"A girl named Miranda is looking for you. She said if I see you to tell you to go to Ethan's room."
"Thanks." I did as he said and followed up the stairs and opened the first door I came across.
"Do you mind, this room is taken." What looked like seniors, were already in the room making out on the bed. I closed the door shut and shook my head. I saw another door that was cracked; I knocked first this time and then opened it. I saw a familiar body bunched up sitting on the floor by the bed; it was Miranda. She looked up and noticed it was me, then smiled.
"I've been looking for you." She seemed to put her head back down facing the ground. She didn't speak; she just sat there. I walked over to where she was and sat down beside her. The room was still silent. I sat there thinking it was best to stay quiet. A minute passed; two minutes passed; then she spoke.
"Everything seems so surreal; ya know?" I didn't follow what she was saying, but my ears stayed open. "Just last week, I was… I was flooded in all these problems, and feelings that I couldn't control; that I couldn't handle. And now, not even a week later, here I am… better than ever, all because of you." She gave off a slight smile then continued. "Sometimes… sometimes I sit and I think to myself, what if, what if I didn't have someone like you in my life. What if, there wasn't anyone there to help me get through the tough situations, or problems, or even feelings that I've had." Miranda's voice faded off into the air.
My mind filled with questions, but no answers. This wasn't supposed to be happening. All these feelings I was experiencing wasn't supposed to happen. Yet, it all was. I looked over to see Miranda taking deep breathes while holding her head in pain. "Are you okay?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'm just a little dizzy; don't worry, I've been feeling like this the whole day. I'll be fine."
"Why didn't you tell me? We didn't have to come." She took one last breath and looked at me.
"No, I, I wanted to come. I just need to lie down; I'll be fine." I helped Miranda over to Ethan's bed. She lied down as I pulled a chair up next to the bed. Her eyes drifted around the room, then at me… and then they closed. I watched her every move as she lied there. She suddenly opened her eyes, gazed at me, then scooter over. She patted the bed motioning for me to lie down next to her.
I looked at her strangely. "Maybe, that's not a good idea."
"We're best friends; nothings going to happen." She assured me. For the second time she patted the bed. I gave in and lied next to her on the small bed. I positioned myself on my side as she did the same in front of me. I held my head up with my arm looking over her while resting the other over her body. "She's my best friend." I reminded myself after I realized that best friends don't lie in a bed like we were.
"What?" I whispered too loudly to the point where she thought I was talking to her and asked me to repeat myself.
"Nothing." I took a deep breath. Everything so quiet. I didn't pay attention to the music anymore; I just tuned it out. I heard Miranda breathing lightly; my hand motioned up and down every time she would breathe as my hand rested on her waist.
"Gordo." She whispered.
"Hmm."
"What were you trying to tell me earlier?" Out of all times, she just so happened to ask me that question now. I had a hard time answering it. She turned over so that her back was facing the bed and her face was facing mine. She looked into my eyes… it made it even harder to answer. I couldn't help but to stare back into hers. It was odd; it was like nothing mattered at the moment; like everything that I was thinking vanished from my mind. As we continued to look at each other, without notice, both of our heads began to lean in. Further, and further. She slightly tilted her head for the perfect fit. The tips of our lips almost touched, but then… that's when it hit me. Before our lips actually touched I pulled away, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.
When I opened them, there I saw Miranda… staring at me in puzzlement. "I'm, I'm sorry." I started as I removed my hand from around her waist. "I can't do this."
"Its, its okay. We don't have to." She seemed too sweet and innocent, but so clueless.
"Miranda, you don't understand." I was finally going to tell her at the worst time. "I can't do this because… because… I go out with Lizzie."
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Whoa, not including all the author notes, this is the longest chapter yet. 1,437 words. Aren't you proud of me? Anyway. I figured I'll stop right there because I'm too tired to write anymore. No, but on a serious note, I really enjoyed writing this fic. It took me to a whole new level of writing. I appreciate all of the reviews, however… I'm not so sure that I will continue it. No, its not because I don't have enough reviews. I don't really care about the review count.. It's just.. I feel like the stories not going anywhere. Like, I'm not doing my best at writing it. My grammar, characterization, and plot all suck to me. I know I'm a very negative person, but it just seems like a waist of time. Because why spend your time doing something crappy? I don't know.. Maybe I'll change my mind. Who knows?
