I would imagine we all have this figured out by now... This world is Lucas's; these are merely my convoluted ideas that somehow get scrawled down into stories. I make no money. It's just that this is cheaper than therapy. Feedback is welcomed, because it helps me to write better.

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Empty Words

She was late.

The chronos on the walls of the Temple all read 1840, ten minutes past when she should have met Emrys for his saber lesson. The meeting with the Council hadn't been too stressful at all. Due to the political implications of Iain's capture, the members simply wanted to have a clear idea of what was entailed in his capture, since the politicians at the Senate would want to know the details. They had quizzed her for fifty-five minutes, apparently oblivious to her growing discomfort. Then, they had dismissed her, the Knight's stomach tied in knots.

Raven careened through the hallways, paying little attention to the other unfortunate inhabitants that got in her way. No few number of cries pursued her down the hallway, other Jedi affronted by her lack of decorum, but Raven never heard, fully concentrating on making it the practice arenas in the shortest amount of time possible.

The Jedi Knight rounded the corner that lead to the hallway lined with doors of the practice rooms, her heart beating in her ears. Fear was rolling from the place in almost palpable waves. It took only a breath to find the right room, and Raven flung open the door.

Emrys was crouched defensively, trying vainly to protect himself with his saber. Nat stalked around him, lashing out viciously with his own, scoring substantial burns on the initiate. To her eyes, her partner was quickly losing patience with the young boy, and before her eyes, the blows shifted aim from merely injurious to deadly.

The moments it took the dark-haired Jedi to traverse the distance between her and the pair stretched into an eternity as she watched Emrys fall in an attempt to back away from him. Nat swung his purple blade high in the air and brought it down, his face contorted in a sneer and his eyes burning with anger.

The Knight threw herself between her partner and Emrys, the image of the boy's terror-stricken face etched in her memory. She blocked the deadly blow and threw Nat on the offensive, driving him away from the initiate. He bared his teeth viciously, attacking with hard, well-placed blows. Raven parried each one of them, running on adrenaline and a strong connection to the Light Side of the Force. She could sense the Dark Side well up within him, and he struck towards her with his hand. Raven tumbled to the ground, knocked away by a Force-push, disoriented by a moment of pain as she landed on her tender shoulder, and then she watched Nat retreat, disappearing back into the hallway.

Her breath came in labored gasps, more from the tension and surprise than the actual brief exchange. Raven worked to control it, and then she suddenly became aware of Emrys again. Tipping her head backwards, the Knight got an upside view of the young boy, who had curled into a fetal position. He was shaking, and Raven realized that the shakes were from sobs as she rolled from her back to her stomach and moved to her young friend.

"Come here," she whispered comfortingly, "you are safe now." Raven drew him into her arms, and Emrys clung to her, his head buried in her shoulder. His small frame was wracked from the sobs, and the Knight lost track of how long they sat together, with him halfway in and out of her lap, soaking her tunic with his tears. Gently she rocked him and murmured comforts to the initiate.

After a long period of time, Emrys's tears stopped sliding down his cheeks, although he still would tremble uncontrollably from time to time. "Let's go to the infirmary, Emrys," Raven said quietly, in a soothing tone, "you're probably in shock." The dark-haired Jedi gathered the smaller initiate into her arms. She looked down at his face, seeing once again his terrified look when Nat tried to kill him for no reason at all, and regret swept over her.

"I am so sorry," she whispered to Emrys, holding him close to her, as she bore him down to the infirmary.

***

Raven gently pushed open the glass doors to the infirmary by walking through it backwards, carefully cradling the sandy-haired initiate in her arms. His liquid brown eyes had closed at some point during the journey, and he had curled closer towards her, as though trying to find solace in her proximity.

Elep was on duty that evening, sitting with her feet propped up on the receptionist desk, reading a datapad. She glanced up, and her lekku twitched in confusion and concern as she saw her friend carrying the small nine-year-old. Her feet shifted to the floor, and the Healer moved towards Raven and Emrys.

Negating any comment with a shake of her head, Raven glanced down at the boy and then at her Twi'lek friend. "You stand correct about Nat," she said quietly.

With a sigh and a sympathetic look, the Healer ushered her into an examination room. Raven gently laid him on the table, earning a frightened look from him. Emrys struggled to sit upright, and the Jedi Knight carefully helped him. Elep stood before them, glancing from Raven to Emrys and back again, until she finally demanded an explanation.

The dark-haired Jedi gave a contrite shrug. "There isn't much to tell. I was in a Council meeting, and I had asked Nat to work with Emrys because I was afraid that I might be late. He agreed. I met him on my way to the Chamber raging and ranting about power and hypocrisy. Then, after the meeting, I hurried to the practice area. Nat was there, giving the lad a sound beating with his blade. His face was contorted, and he was angry, Elep, more angry than I've ever seen him. When I came in, I watched as he scored a few burns on his arms and torso. Then, he changed his purpose from injury to death. Emrys tripped, and I managed to get between him and Nat. I could sense the Dark Side rolling from him, like breakers in the oceans of Alderaan. We exchanged a few parries, neither scoring a hit, when he Force-pushed me to the floor and fled."

Silence filled the room as the Twi'lek inspected Emrys's burns. She also took his temperature and checked the dilation of his eyes. Raven moved to lean against a wall, her arms folded across her chest. The Jedi Knight had concern for Emrys etched on her face. "What happened before Raven came?" Elep finally asked Emrys.

His brown eyes had followed her movements, and he made no attempt to interrupt Elep's ministrations. However, when Elep asked him that question, tears filled the young boy's eyes, and he shook his head slightly. The Healer glanced at her friend, watched as Raven's eyes also filled with tears. She glanced away, ashamed to witness her friend's guilt and fear. Instead, she fetched some bacta and began to smear it on the burns that crossed Emrys's arms and chest.

Emrys glanced at Raven, and even through her tears and his, she could see the fear still fresh in his face. "Emrys?" she said haltingly, choking back a sob. She pressed a hand to her face, and when she closed her eyes for a moment, she saw Nat rushing him, his saber move for a kill, anger full in his face. Her eyes snapped open again, finding the initiate staring at her intently.

"He's probably suffering from shock. He should be all right in a few days, at least as far as the shock is concerned," Elep broke in. "I'm going to put him in an overnight room so I can keep an eye on him." The Healer moved hesitantly towards the door but then turned back to look at Raven. "You must inform the Council."

Raven glanced between Emrys and Elep. "I'm not going to leave him, at least not tonight. I got him into this mess. I'm going to at least see him through it," she countered firmly.

The Twi'lek looked displeased. "You have a duty--"

"I have a duty to him as well, and I think the Council is more in a position to wait than he," Raven interrupted.

"Then collect your duty, and bring him to an overnight room," Elep replied crisply. "I'm going to find a Council member and bring him to you."

Raven shrugged, helping Emrys from the examination table. "So be it."

***

The dark-haired Jedi had settled on the floor in the room assigned to Emrys with her legs crossed and her eyes closed. Before leaving to fulfill her threat, Elep had led Raven, helping the young initiate along, to this room, where she had helped settle the boy on the bed. Then, she had administered some kind of draught to him, medicine for the boy to sleep. When Raven asked what medical purpose that served, Elep had given her a hard look and informed her it would help him to sleep. The Knight had been unable to tell if the Healer was angry with her or merely frustrated at the situation.

Settling into meditation, Raven could sense that Nathaniel hadn't left the Temple. He was lurking somewhere, out of notice from the other Jedi. If she were to venture a guess, she would suppose he was in his room. Privately, she suspected he would not quit the Temple until the next evening, after the tournament. Nat was signed up, and his pride, un-Jedi-like as it might be, wouldn't allow him to go without competing. And if he won, he would win fairly without the Dark Side. There would be too many observers for it to be otherwise.

Raven delved past the here and now, beyond the tidal Living Force into the greater Unifying Force. The Knight always felt a little out of place here. Her mastery of the Force total was unimpressive at best, and her struggle to make even that much progress was mostly due to this essence of the Force. Raven could connect and comprehend the Living Force, giving its in-the-moment revelations. It was the fighter's deity, the ever changing and adapting. The Unifying Force was something greater, the vast future ahead to experience and the venerable past behind from which to learn. It was the scholar's essence, the contemplation and less erratic.

As customary, Raven felt dwarfed and inept in this thrum of life. She drifted in its eddies, letting the Force take her where it deemed necessary. The Knight was swept away in the ocean of impressions and thoughts, things that might be or had already been. Still, nothing was clarified. Raven watched as Nat's visage appeared before his, his face angry and his saber raised high. As he swung it down, the scene altered, and a green blade blocked the hit. It faded, the green saber becoming her own white one. A man's face hovered before her, but she didn't know him and it didn't matter because he was dying, his long hair strung across his leonine features and fading eyes. Nat was running again, but he wasn't in the practice arena. Raven felt profound sadness wash over her, and she knew that she, or whoever's emotions she was sensing, was lost and alone. And everything was obscured by shadows.

Raven drew a deep breath, not comprehending what she had just seen, and opened her eyes. Before her sat the youngest member of the Jedi Council, one Mace Windu, with a thoughtful expression on his harsh features. His fingers were steepled. Raven licked her lips in a nervous gesture before rising to her feet calmly. Inwardly, however, the Jedi Knight felt like a small child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Raven would always be more comfortable in the rough and tumble of the field than the administration of the Temple.

She bowed respectfully to him, thankful that Elep had located a Council member she at least knew vaguely. Windu brought his palms together, watching the Knight carefully before aiming a sweeping gesture towards the sleeping initiate. "What happened?" he asked concisely.

Raven launched into the explanation for the second time that evening, leaving nothing out for fear it might be of import. When she had finished, she waited calmly with her hands folded before her. Mace sat, looking at her, or perhaps past her, with his brown eyes distant. His nostrils flared as he inhaled sharply.

"You're sure he was using the Dark Side?" he finally asked, leaning forward in his chair.

"Yes, Master Windu," Rave replied. "It was hard to sense and oily, unable to be grasped or sensed."

The dark-skinned Jedi Master sat very still, and Raven could almost hear him contemplating the implications of this. Finally, he shook his head slightly and stood. "We must discuss this in the Council," he said gravely.

Raven was shocked. "But he is still in the Temple. Shouldn't you do something first?"

"Never act without first considering the consequences," Mace replied, a hint of a grin appearing at the corners of his mouth. "I will call together the Council in the morning, and we will contemplate the best course of action in this matter."

The inner warrior grated at the Master's scholarly statement. "Why not this evening?" Raven asked, realizing that she was probably being disrespectful, but decided she didn't care.

Spreading his arms wide in a placating gesture, Mace just sighed. "There is strife in the Senate, and the Council has been assisting the Chancellor. After that this morning and afternoon and meetings this evening, the Council doesn't need to be called again. Good night, Knight Suul."

The Jedi Knight's jaw dropped, and Mace had disappeared before she could formulate a response. Strife in the Senate superseded strife in the Temple. Shaking her head as if to clear it, Raven walked out into the hall, although she wasn't surprised to find that Mace Windu was already gone. Elep, however, was standing in front of the receptionist desk, her entire demeanor radiating displeasure.

"Please leave."

"I— Elep?"

"Please leave, Raven."

"I have a responsibility to Emrys, Elep! I can't just leave," Raven replied.

The Twi'lek crossed the short distance, her lekku stiff with disapproval. She pushed her purple-toned face into Raven's, the human taking an instinctive step backwards. However, Elep didn't step down, her face still hovering centimeters from the Knight's. "You simple-minded fool," she hissed between her teeth. "That little boy is in that bed because you made a bad decision. You will accomplish nothing by staying here except to grate on my nerves, which are already thin enough. Your responsibility to that boy will be best served by making sure Nat doesn't come near him or any other Jedi not capable of defending himself against him. In the meantime, I don't want you here because your single-mindedness won't be useful to me or to Emrys. Please leave."

"As you say, Elep," Raven replied quietly, slowly moving away and around the Healer. Hurt and confusion reigned within her, as well as the sting of the truth of her words. She was both single-minded and a fool. She should have seen this coming, especially as Nat's own partner. "As you say."

***

Her world had burned to ashes before her very eyes.

Raven stumbled from the infirmary, her legs shaking beneath her. Coherent thought seemed beyond her at the moment, her thoughts scattered within her mind like leaves danced on a sudden wind. The only thing she knew for certain was that Elep's words were true, that she was a fool in many ways. Her words had stung with the certainty of truth, and that truth existed because Raven had made a grievous error.

The Knight stumbled into the wall on the opposite side of the hall, smashing yet again her wounded shoulder, although Raven didn't even notice the bloom of pain. Instead, she slid, braced against the wall, to the floor, twisting to lie on her back viewing the ceiling. The light banks within the ceiling had been dimmed to reflect nightfall beyond the Temple walls, and Raven raised her hands to her eyes to shield even that mild light, light which reminded her painfully of its antithesis. Light that burned within her in the form of guilt.

She wasn't at all surprised to feel dampness on her cheeks. Raven moved her hands away, inspecting the shimmer of the tears on her fingers for a moment, as if they contained the secret to undoing her mess. Long moments passed before she realized she was being silly and childish. Raven rolled away from the way and found her feet beneath her, standing still a bit unsteadily.

Raven struggled within herself, drawing together the last shreds of her Jedi training. She squared her shoulders, standing as straight as the Temple Spire itself, and drew a deep breath, using the simplest methods taught to a padawan to calm herself. Her moment lacking discipline passed, Raven moved down the hallway, her steps gaining more confidence as she went.

Only a little more time had passed before Raven was standing in front of Nat's door. She stood quietly for a moment, her Intelligence training taking over, listening beyond and reaching out with the Force. The Jedi Knight knew for certain that he wasn't in his rooms. Passing her hand over the keypad, Raven discerned the entrance code and opened his door.

His rooms looked like any other Jedi's rooms, with a few data pads on the kitchen table, a small couch for reading or studying, and a hallway with a refresher and a bedroom. Raven ignored everything but his bedroom. She entered it, located one of Nat's tunics, and picked it up, using it to help focus her concentration. Like other personal items, the tunic was infused with Nat's very essence, the mystic quintessence that gave a person his Force signature. Using that and her own, now diminutive bond with her partner, Raven reached out for him.

Her mind brushed his, but Nat shied away from her. Raven could sense a deluge of emotions from him even in that brief contact; fear of what he had done, ambition to be greater, a lust for power, anger at being denied. Defiance raged within him, as well as conflict. The Jedi Knight reached out further, having a prolonged enough touch with her partner to understand the reason for the conflict. He seemed caught between regret for attacking Emrys and regret for not just finishing his attack. Apparently, Nat had not completely turned but was caught between his desire for power and giving into his anger and frustration and his lifetime of training.

Then he pulled away. The only thing left was a mental oily residue, a faint haze of the slime she had felt earlier during their brief encounter. Whatever he had done, Nathaniel Younam had cloaked himself in the Dark Side, beyond Raven's limited perception. Focusing as hard as she could, Raven could not find his trace in the Force. He had disappeared from her for now.

The exertion of searching for Nat drew on the last reserves of Raven's considerable strength and discipline, and she sagged to the floor, his tunic still clutched in her hand. Taking a moment to regain her breath and some semblance of energy, Raven rested on the floor. The room spun around her briefly, and Raven's vision clouded into gray. She waited until her vision cleared and carefully got to her feet, aware of her handicap.

The Jedi Knight left her partner's rooms and made her way carefully and slowly to her own. Her instincts, ones that had kept her alive so far, told her that Nat would be licking his wounds and planning for the evening, and the Temple would be safe at least until morning, although Raven privately suspected he would remain inconspicuous until around dinnertime the next day, after the tournament. Sleep overtook her, and the last thought that the Jedi could remember was that she hoped Emrys could forgive her for needing to rest, and that he himself was sleeping well.

***

Raven was awake early the next morning, her face showing determination and control. She found some clean clothes and pulled them on after discarding the garments she had worn and slept in the day before. Raven also found a handkerchief, a light tan, to restrain her dark hair. There would be no time this morning to shower and contain it otherwise.

Gently and methodically, Raven began to roll out her muscles, taking forty-five minutes to completely loosen herself up for the tournament. After her warm-up, she then went in search of her errant partner with plans to spend the entire day with him, except for when she was on the floor to spar.

He wasn't too difficult to locate. Raven could hear him shuffling around in his rooms. She sat directly across from his door, attempting to meditate while she waited for him to appear.

Perhaps ten minutes later, Nathaniel reappeared from his rooms and glanced down at Raven in surprise and then shame. "Ven, I –" he began to say.

Raven cut him off. "I don't want to hear it," she replied curtly, moving fluidly to her feet. "That will not happen again."

"I know," Nat replied, pulling his door closed behind him. "Ven, I'm leaving the Temple. Today. After I compete in the tournament. I'm not meant to be here."

Her face showing her shock, Raven shook her head for a moment. "Did you say what I just think you said? You attacked an initiate last night, Nat! You can't just leave! There are repercussions!"

"You don't think I know that?" he cried back. Abruptly he turned away, his arms crossed and his eyes distant. "I know what I did when I lost my temper, Raven. That's why I have to leave. I don't trust myself not to do it again. I have to find my destiny elsewhere."

The dark-haired Jedi swallowed, trying to decide what she should do. A small voice in her warned her about what he was saying, but her loyalty spoke stronger. "Where will you go?" she asked, reasoning that the day was young, and she would escort him throughout.

He shrugged. "I don't know. Away from here." The blond Jedi glanced at his partner, noticing some of her hesitation. "Raven, believe me. Just give me today. By tonight, I will be gone, never to hurt anyone here again. You'll never see me again, and you can tell that to that initiate with equal conviction. Just give me until tonight," he pleaded.

Raven glanced at him, remembering all the times he had saved her life in the field, crushing her small doubt. "All right. Today," she acquiesced reluctantly. "But then you disappear."

"You'll never hear from me again."