Ain't No Mountain High
Author: stargirl*
Author's Note: This one's for Monica and Chandler fans mainly, but also for Rachel baby fans. What the hell, everyone will enjoy this. Please read and review. Oh yeah, and I don't own them, I only Matthew Perry in my dreams.
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Chapter One: Listen, Baby
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"What's that supposed to mean?" Rachel glared at Ross over the top of her very pregnant body as she lay on Monica and Chandler's couch. "Are you calling me fat? I'm pregnant with your child, if you hadn't noticed."
Ross held up his hands as he looked around for support from Monica, who was also in the room. "I just asked you if you wanted some of the pie."
"Yeah right..." murmured Rachel as she looked down at her baby book that she was filling out. She was a week overdue and her belly was bigger than ever. Everyone was ready for the baby to come, nobody more than Rachel herself. "I'm done having this baby inside of me," she had often complained. "I'm just ready to be a mom."
"Still having the mood swings..." Monica remarked to Ross as he sat down next to her at the table. "She's been like that for the past month."
"Have not!" yelled Rachel, who had overheard from the couch. "And anyway, you would be like this too if you had a watermelon stuffed up your rear. It was supposed to come out like a week ago!" Monica walked over to Rachel and rubbed her shoulder in the reassuring way that she always did.
"At least you have one..." Monica muttered beneath her breath.
"What?" asked Rachel, not hearing what Monica had said. Rachel suddenly gasped, clasping her hand to her mouth. "You think I'm fat too!" Monica quickly convinced Rachel that she hadn't said anything about her appearance.
"Well," announced Ross, standing up and walking over to help pull Rachel's big body out of the couch, "I suppose it's time we get Ms. Sunshine over here to her home. The doctor said that since she's overdue, she needs to rest. The baby could come at any time now, couldn't it Rachel?"
Rachel grasped Ross's outstretched hands and was pulled to her feet. She rearranged the shirt she was wearing. "Yeah, if it ever comes. It'll probably be stuck in there until it's ready to leave home and have kids itself." She waddled past Ross to get her coat. "And what's with this rest thing? What do you think I was doing laying down on the couch? Dancing? You're not my mother, Ross."
Monica hugged Rachel and said goodbye to her friend and her brother as they left the apartment. She laughed as she heard Rachel complaining to Ross all the way down the hall. Monica certainly didn't envy him. He had been getting an earful lately. Rachel had a full-blown case of pregnancy mood, and Monica had heard horror tales of living with pregnant-Rachel.
She closed the door as the leant against her wall.
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"Honey, I'm home!" Chandler laughed at his remark as he took off his coat and hung it up on the rack. "Monica?" he ventured again, hearing no response. "Are you here?" Chandler jumped over the couch and walked over to their bedroom door. "You're not planning a special surprise for me, are you?" A grin on his face, Chandler threw open the door.
Monica was standing at the foot of their bed, gazing into a full-length mirror. Beneath her shirt, she had stuffed one of their bed pillows. Monica gasped as the door opened. She quickly removed the pillow and dropped it on the ground behind her. "Hi sweetie," she said nervously, suddenly straightening the bed sheets. "I didn't hear you come in." She walked over to Chandler and gave him an uncomfortable "hello" kiss.
"Hey, Monica," replied a confused Chandler. "You want to tell me what's going on?"
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End Chapter One. Please review!
Author: stargirl*
Author's Note: This one's for Monica and Chandler fans mainly, but also for Rachel baby fans. What the hell, everyone will enjoy this. Please read and review. Oh yeah, and I don't own them, I only Matthew Perry in my dreams.
***************************
Chapter One: Listen, Baby
***************************
"What's that supposed to mean?" Rachel glared at Ross over the top of her very pregnant body as she lay on Monica and Chandler's couch. "Are you calling me fat? I'm pregnant with your child, if you hadn't noticed."
Ross held up his hands as he looked around for support from Monica, who was also in the room. "I just asked you if you wanted some of the pie."
"Yeah right..." murmured Rachel as she looked down at her baby book that she was filling out. She was a week overdue and her belly was bigger than ever. Everyone was ready for the baby to come, nobody more than Rachel herself. "I'm done having this baby inside of me," she had often complained. "I'm just ready to be a mom."
"Still having the mood swings..." Monica remarked to Ross as he sat down next to her at the table. "She's been like that for the past month."
"Have not!" yelled Rachel, who had overheard from the couch. "And anyway, you would be like this too if you had a watermelon stuffed up your rear. It was supposed to come out like a week ago!" Monica walked over to Rachel and rubbed her shoulder in the reassuring way that she always did.
"At least you have one..." Monica muttered beneath her breath.
"What?" asked Rachel, not hearing what Monica had said. Rachel suddenly gasped, clasping her hand to her mouth. "You think I'm fat too!" Monica quickly convinced Rachel that she hadn't said anything about her appearance.
"Well," announced Ross, standing up and walking over to help pull Rachel's big body out of the couch, "I suppose it's time we get Ms. Sunshine over here to her home. The doctor said that since she's overdue, she needs to rest. The baby could come at any time now, couldn't it Rachel?"
Rachel grasped Ross's outstretched hands and was pulled to her feet. She rearranged the shirt she was wearing. "Yeah, if it ever comes. It'll probably be stuck in there until it's ready to leave home and have kids itself." She waddled past Ross to get her coat. "And what's with this rest thing? What do you think I was doing laying down on the couch? Dancing? You're not my mother, Ross."
Monica hugged Rachel and said goodbye to her friend and her brother as they left the apartment. She laughed as she heard Rachel complaining to Ross all the way down the hall. Monica certainly didn't envy him. He had been getting an earful lately. Rachel had a full-blown case of pregnancy mood, and Monica had heard horror tales of living with pregnant-Rachel.
She closed the door as the leant against her wall.
***************************
"Honey, I'm home!" Chandler laughed at his remark as he took off his coat and hung it up on the rack. "Monica?" he ventured again, hearing no response. "Are you here?" Chandler jumped over the couch and walked over to their bedroom door. "You're not planning a special surprise for me, are you?" A grin on his face, Chandler threw open the door.
Monica was standing at the foot of their bed, gazing into a full-length mirror. Beneath her shirt, she had stuffed one of their bed pillows. Monica gasped as the door opened. She quickly removed the pillow and dropped it on the ground behind her. "Hi sweetie," she said nervously, suddenly straightening the bed sheets. "I didn't hear you come in." She walked over to Chandler and gave him an uncomfortable "hello" kiss.
"Hey, Monica," replied a confused Chandler. "You want to tell me what's going on?"
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End Chapter One. Please review!
