Chapter 9
Smallville
2002
The silence was driving her crazy! Sure the birds were chirping and the sun was shining down on her and she was on the most beautiful thoroughbred stallion she's ever seen and Clark… Clark was holding the reins of the horse, making sure it didn't move any faster than its pace.
She was back in Smallville. She moved into the mansion and got her 'wedding present'—an immaculately white Persian stallion. She wasn't allowed to ride it yet, not in her condition. But she made an exception today; after all, Clark was here.
Clark.
When her friend showed up after lunch, she was so happy she ran up to him and gave him a hug. Lana didn't get out of the mansion since she got back. She wanted to escape the stares that the townspeople would most likely give her. She even told Chloe she wasn't ready to face her yet. But she always knew that when Clark would see her, she'd be ready for him.
That's why the silence between them now was as comforting as a night in jail.
"Lana—"
Her head snapped up to meet Clark's gaze. "Yes, Clark?" Those eyes… those eyes that she once found so understanding and accepting… weren't.
"I know you don't want to talk about it yet. Chloe told me on the phone… actually she warned me…"
"I don't know how to talk about it Clark. It hasn't even sunk in yet… I feel like I'm watching a movie and the girl in the movie just happens to look like me and have my life." She ran her hands on the horse's neck, gently.
"Chloe didn't tell me what's going on—"
"I asked her not to." She couldn't let him think Chloe had a part in all this except she was a good friend to Lana.
"I didn't know where you were… if I'd known…"
"Clark, you're my friend. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just couldn't face you, I guess." I couldn't bear seeing that look in your eyes, the one you're wearing now, she wanted to add.
"But how?"
She shrugged. How could she explain something even she herself didn't understand? "It just happened."
"With Lex?"
Lana nodded, flinching at the tone of his voice. If he only knew…
"And now you're married?"
"Clark please… let's just forget it, okay? I don't want to deal with it."
"You mean you don't want to deal with it with me."
She looked away and the silence came back. This time, she welcomed it with open arms.
"Lana, I care about you," Clark whispered.
"I know, Clark."
"And all I want is for you to be happy."
Let's not talk about happiness, she silently pleaded. It was something that was just given to her with a string so it could be taken back just as quickly as it was given. "I know."
"Are you happy with him?"
She knew what Clark was asking her. She also knew that if she answered wrong, he'd do the wrong thing. So she lied. "Yes."
"You've never been good at lying, remember?"
And then she saw the smile. And then she crumbled. "I'm such a wimp," she confessed.
"You're not." Clark let go of the reins and took both of her hands in his. "Lana, you're the strongest person I know."
"I don't know about that, Clark," she said with a mock laugh.
Clark looked at her seriously. "I do."
She shook her head. "You don't understand… all it took them were a few words and here I am—pregnant and married to a man who's too busy to even help me move into his own house." A man who never even bothered to call her.
"That wasn't weakness, Lana. That's strength—strength beyond anything. Some people show courage by fighting what's been given to them; others accept it. And that's what you did. Sometimes it takes greater strength to accept life's difficulties than to reject them."
"It's like I'm in a fight, Clark. A fight for my baby, a fight for me… and I really want to keep on going, I really do… but… What if I get tired?"
He squeezed her hands reassuringly. "If you don't want to do this anymore, if you want it to stop, I'll help you. I'll be there for you."
"Thanks, Clark."
Then he kissed her. It was a brief kiss, something she didn't expect.
The wind started to pick up and Clark looked at the skies. It was darkening fast. "Looks like the storm's a day early."
Lana looked up as well. It was hard to imagine it was sunny just an hour before. "We better get back."
As Clark led the horse back to the mansion, Lana was left pondering about what happened between them. Even though Lex's kiss left her feeling anxious and unfulfilled, somehow she wanted it more than Clark's.
****
And that's how he found them. Clark holding the reins to the horse he bought for his wife, as she herself is smiling and stroking the beast's neck, like a scene from a God damned Disney movie. One he particularly wouldn't watch let alone rent.
He found out about the storm and decided to go to Smallville to be with her since he finally figured out a way that this marriage could actually work. He shouldn't let his emotions get the best of him. If he was getting too drunk on her, he could always blame it on business to get away from her for a while. The couple of days in Paris weren't as horrible as he thought… well maybe they were since he had to leave her with a kiss that left him aroused and ill tempered the whole flight. Still, he was determined to keep his desire for her in control, determined to make it work with her and eventually talk to Clark and make his friend understand. And this is how he finds them. Interesting.
"I told you not the ride the horse yet." They both looked up. Lana's face was flushed, from what he didn't care to find out. He remembered the last time he saw her cheeks red… damn! He raised his eyebrows at her, waiting for her answer.
"I'm merely walking him, he needed the exercise. Besides with Clark around accidents aren't likely to happen."
"Oh yes, Clark." He faced his 'friend' and found out he was killing him with his eyes. "Thank you for looking out for my wife."
"Right," Clark muttered his eyes not leaving Lex's.
Lana could feel the unspoken anger between the two. She could understand why Clark would feel that after what they've just talked about. But Lex… looked jealous. And that was something she didn't get at all. Since he didn't even call her since he left her two days ago. So what if he left her with a kiss? Alright… more than just a kiss… a kiss and… Stop it, Lana!
"Clark," she said in a louder-than-normal tone. Only then did her friend look at her. "Thanks for everything. I think I could handle it myself."
"Are you sure?"
"She already said—"
"I'm not talking to you—"
"Stop it!" she yelled out. "Clark," she started in an even tone. "Go home. I'm sure your mom's worried about you."
The two stared at each other and Lana was scared they would kill each other right then and there. Determined to get his attention away from Lex, she placed her hand on Clark's shoulder. He relaxed a little.
Lex tensed up even more.
"I'll go if you tell me you're fine."
Lex let out an annoyed sound. "Look at her, Clark. She's not bleeding or unconscious. Any medical book would tell you she's fine."
"Stay out of this, Lex." Clark's words sounded more like a challenge, daring him to not do what he just said.
"I can't, Clark and I won't."
"You should've stayed away from her—"
"She should've stayed away from me—"
"She's my friend!"
"She's my WIFE!"
After hearing his words, Clark charged towards Lex and pushed him. Lex landed a good ten feet away from where he stood.
"Lex!" Lana cried out. "Clark! Stop it! Both of you!" But the horse was starting to get nervous because the wind was now getting harder and light rain began to drizzle from the dark clouds. She fought to control it.
Clark strode towards Lex and he, in turn, was standing up, preparing for Clark's next blow.
"You know I love her, Lex!"
"Well you shouldn't have waited so long, Kent."
They were both poised for battle and Lana would rather die than watch two of her once closest friends kill each other over her. The horse was getting really agitated so she held the reins tightly, squeezed her knees together and urged it to start trotting. It did.
It didn't matter that the raindrops were fat as they fell on her. She was just so mad at both of them for fighting over like she was a toy and they were in first grade. She lowered her body, her chest almost touching the horse's back as they moved like one and disappeared into the woods.
*dynlubio 7/20/2003 3:12 PM
