A/N Thanks for reviews. Any are appreciated. But I want to reiterate, I know I screwed up on time. I don't care, maybe for my next time travel fic, if there is ever a next one. Right now, I don't care about dates, I just want to get this story going. The last chapter was just supposed to be a quick one. A montage of scenes from the fifth year to capture what Ginny was leaving behind when she left. The chapters won't cover years at a time after this, I think. But this is not the end. Oh no! This is the end of Ginny and Oliver however… read on. Review please… not about the times please. I think at this point they annoy me more than any flame I could get. And flames, though I haven't got any, are kind of an annoyance. Like a deer fly.
Disclaimer. I don't own any of the stuff that I don't own.
Ginny sat in the comfortable window seat and gazed into the sunlight. Oliver had left an hour ago, there had been one or two awkward moments where Oliver would say something about Ginny or vice versa that was common knowledge to the both of them that shouldn't be. Like the fact that Ginny was allergic to olives. "She told me in the kitchen," was the quick response. Or that "he hadn't seen her eat like that since you were…" in which he trailed off an unsettling silence settled in the wake. There were the usual exchange of looks, but whatever they were thinking was far from the truth. She watched the Tremendous Trio screwing around in the yard. Hermione came in, laughing and tying up her hair. She did a double-take when she saw Ginny. She walked over and leaned to look at her two best friends scramble around in the dust. She took another look at Ginny and sighed.
"What's up?" Ginny didn't answer and Hermione heaved another sigh. "Look Gin, if it depresses you that much to distance yourself from Harry, which I watched you doing an awful lot of, then you can go back to him and all. It's just that I think you should proceed with caution. You're still very young…"
"I'm older than you." Ginny suddenly realized. Hermione looked confused.
"Correction. You're a year younger than me."
"Oh, right." Ginny looked back out the window.
"Anyway." Hermione shook her head. "About Harry."
"It's not Harry that I'm, um, sad about." She laughed bitterly. "Not at all."
"Oh," Hermione pulled back, obviously surprised. "Well, then…"
"It's really great to see you again, by the way." Ginny said off handedly.
"You sure missed me in the two hours I was gone, uh-huh." Hermione studied Ginny for a moment. "What's really wrong? You've been acting like you haven't seen me in years."
"Or about a year." Ginny tried to sound like she was joking. It didn't work. She sighed and chose to ignore Hermione rather than sit through her questions. Luckily, there were no more. Hermione disappe- ared into the kitchen. Ginny had changed her clothes and pulled her hair back into a style that hid her new hair. She wiped off her make-up and tied her ring around her neck with a simple gold chain. It was a short chain, she wouldn't hide it under her robes. She would answer all questions about it, as she knew would come up, and take them in stride. She decided she was going to go crazy in the future, and began to act like it. "Come on, Gin. Snap out of it. This is home. You should be ecstatic. You're home. You're here with your family. Who loves you." It all sounded rather dull, in tone and content. "Your real friends. You're only eighteen. What were you thinking getting married and having a child? Honestly, it's probably good you had to give them all up." She sniffed. "You couldn't handle them anyway, so young." She heard Hermione re-enter. But she knew she hadn't been overheard. She had been speaking softly.
Hermione handed her a cup of tea and motioned for her to move over on the bench. She and Hermione had curled up on here when they were smaller. Giggling over hot chocolate while fireworks of the twins would go off in the kitchen. There was barely any room for the two of them now. "So," Hermione said finally, "it's not Harry that's making you sad." She waited for Ginny to do her usual long winded confession which she loved to listen to and analyze. There was nothing, Only a long sip and yet another sigh. Hermione looked bewildered.
"Hermione. Do you want to have kids ever? With Ronnie, I mean?" Whatever Hermione was expecting, it certainly wasn't that. It took her a moment to answer.
"Sure. Later on, even though us wizarding women seem to only be good for one thing." She said scornfully. "I want a career and a marriage before we do all the child bearing crap. That's supposing Ron and I stay together." She added thoughtfully.
"You don't think you will?" Ginny looked at Hermione, surprised. She thought that her brother and his girlfriend were perfect for each other.
"Oh of course I hope we will. But, high school sweethearts?" She shook her head. "It's just so cliché. Anyway, Ron and I have never shared interests. It would be a hard marriage. But a satisfying marriage." She smiled confidently, the real Hermione finally shining through. "A very satisfying marriage."
"Okay. Don't say anymore." Ginny joked. "I know my brother quite well enough without a different type of insider's opinion." Hermione laughed and blushed. Ginny's bad mood, for a moment, was elated. Then the storm clouds set back in as another thought added itself to the ones that were making her consider going out to get a pensieve.
"Oh, Ginny. What now? Are you angsting about kids for some reason?"
"The Marauders. That group was so close and now… now two of them are dead. James and Sirius." She sobbed quietly in her hands, to the surprise of Hermione. "And Peter betrayed us all and became a Death Eater. He wasn't like that in the past." She sobbed. "I'm sure of it Hermione. I'm sure. And Remus… he's had such a hard life." She seemed to straighten up suddenly, almost knocking Hermione off the window seat. She started sprinting up the stairs. Hermione followed.
"What are you doing? Ginny?" Hermione stood framed in her doorway as Ginny stuffed clothes, modern and 70's into her old tote bag. "And what is Fawkes doing in here?" She suddenly asked in awe. Ginny looked surprised at the bird. She had forgotten he would be here. She stuffed the death spinner in her tote. "Why do you have-? What's going on?" Hermione stood helpless.
"What do phoenixes eat?" She asked Hermione suddenly.
"Uh…" Ginny ignored the one noise her friend seemed to be able to make at that moment and left the window ajar. She patted Fawkes on his beautiful head and kissed his lovely beak.
"Don't worry, I'll be back in about a week. I won't do anything stupid with the death spinner, I promise. I just don't want you to leave with it quite yet." Fawkes seemed to understand and stood at the open window. Hermione finally found her voice.
"What do you mean, you'll be back in a week? You can't just up and leave!" Ginny finished counting out her half of the money and stuffing the sizeable sack into her tote. She groaned under the weight and performed a little spell on it to lighten the load.
"Watch me." She grinned wolfishly and padded down the stairs, walking into her flip-flops and starting out the door. Hermione followed her out to the yard, Harry and Ron watched her.
"But Ginny!" She called in a last desperate. "What are you doing?"
"Getting in touch with my past. With my roots. See you in a week. You'll talk to Mum and dear old Dad too, won't you? I won't tell you where I'm going, that'll make it easier. But I'll owl. I promise." She grinned. She would probably be back at the Burrow and no one would know. She could make a round trip from London to the Burrow in about an hour. She started at a run as Ron and Harry caught on and started towards her. She ran into the trees and shrunk her bag, turning quickly into Stormy and swooping up into an inconspicuous tree to watch the scene unfold. Ron, Harry, and Hermione panted as they thudded into the clearing.
"Where did she go?" Ron asked, looking around the ground.
"Dunno?" Hermione shrugged. "She was acting very oddly after lunch though, did you notice?"
"Yeah, I did. Hey, you don't suppose Oliver did anything-?" Harry began to flex his muscles. He reminded Ginny forcibly of James just then, she was half expecting him to reach up and ruffle his hair.
"Nah. I know Ginny. The bloke would never have recovered." Ron said somewhat proudly.
"So. Do we just wait for her to owl and deduce where she is?" Hermione shrugged, giving the clearing a final once over.
"I guess so. How did she disappear though…?" Harry finally grinned. "Break out the good ol' magnifying glasses?"
"Dust em off, polish em up a bit." Ron joked. Hermione slung her arms around the two boys shoulders and they started back out. *That was a quick recovery* Ginny stretched out her wings and soared quietly above the treetops and forward to what her owl sense told her was London. She flapped her wings until she was as high as she was comfortable going. She blinked uncomfortably at the hot sun and the light it produced. As Stormy, she much preferred the temperature and lighting conditions of night. The Marauders, though Peter had come up with it, had christened her Stormy for her eyes. Bolts of lightning struck through their violet depths at frequent intervals. It was a brilliant thing she had added when she was perfecting her disguise as an exquisite hawk owl. The 'blonde' highlights in her auburn feathers, the smooth cut of her violently pink talons as they transitioned to her tiger stripe scaly legs. The Marauders always said she was the most eccentric looking owl they had ever seen.
The Marauders. She didn't want to think of them. Oh, but she did. It was so painful, she hadn't seen them in a month. Seeing her friends and brother hadn't helped. It had only hurt. It hurt so badly. Like a knife in her chest. She whimpered, or hooted, and pushed ahead furiously. She needed something, someone of the past. She would go to Remus, but she didn't know where he was. So she was going to Tom her second father of sorts. She would swing it in the Leaky Cauldron. Maybe fly out to see Dumbledore if she had it in her. One of them was bound to know the whereabouts of Remus. She didn't know what she would say to him. She would tell him about Luna, whom she had told him about when she didn't know how dear he was to her. It was strange, she had two lives now, people she had known all her life were suddenly more because of events thirty years ago. Deaths she believed she had recovered from, that had never been largely significant, were suddenly daggers in her heart. And Luna…
She felt awful, the worst mother to walk the earth. She had abandoned her baby and her baby was a lunatic. No, that wasn't fair. Luna did favor Oliver in looks, she was a handsome girl. And she was dreamy and wide-eyed, sure, but she was also intelligent and blunt. She had gotten the intelligence at least, from Ginny. Oliver's true brilliance only came out when he was playing on the Quidditch field, which he had missed in the year, even though he had gone up to the pitch to stay in shape occasionally. James, who usually regarded Oliver with distant dislike at best, was impressed with his Quidditch playing abilities. She wondered if Luna was any good on a broom, like she and Oliver both were. She had never bothered to notice in flying class. Well, at least she hadn't been so bad or good that she stuck out particularly in Ginny's memory. She was only happy that Luna was Luna and not one of the boys that she had dated or something like that. She would have had a harder time swallowing that than the fact that she had mothered Luna Lovegood, who was technically older then she.
She wondered what would happen if she saw Luna now, well, she would find out when she got back to Hogwarts at any rate. She would want to hold her in her arms and kiss her forehead and let her tell everything that had happened. Ginny knew that she would want to tell Luna everything, and wondered exactly how far fetched it would sound to someone as gullible and believing as Luna. Luna, from what she gathered of their brief conversations, was deeply loyal to her family and her deceased adopted mother. But then, she had also gathered that they hadn't told her that she was adopted, or that it was one of the only pieces of information she withheld from everyday conversation. She thought of Luna and wondered why she had never realized before that Luna and she had the exact same eyes. *Why did I never realize I was looking into my own eyes, making contact with my own blood?* Ginny knew the truth wouldn't have occurred to her in her wildest dreams. Unless of course, Luna was her spitting image. Which luckily she wasn't. That would have made for some interesting questions and encounters.
Ginny sighed and changed her directions slightly, she was going too far west. She didn't know what she felt anymore, or who she was. She had been so sure before, of everything, especially of herself. No one knew her now, least of all herself. Ginny strained to increase her speed. Maybe she could touch fond memories of the past and manage to stay sane in the future. Maybe not.
* * *
She unshrunk her bag and slung it over her shoulder, pushing the door of the Leaky Cauldron open and listening with her eyes closed and a warm smile on her face as the bell tinkled. She looked up at the bustling crowd. She looked to the bar, at the bald, toothless man who she adored. She pushed through and came behind the bar. She came up behind him and whispered, "Tom." He gave a start and turned to her.
"Miss Weasley," He said evenly, "I'd appreciate it if you stayed in front of the bar. Unless there's an emergency?" He finished polishing a glass and set it down, looking at her expectantly. Her heart fell for a moment and then she understood. He didn't know it was her yet… his Ginny.
"Well Tom, there is an emergency."
"What?" He looked suddenly urgent, grabbing onto her shoulder.
"I can't find any damn Fizzy Pumpkin Juice. Don't suppose you've been keeping a case for me these twenty nine years?" She watched, delighted, as he realized the change in her. He jumped forward and swung her around best as he could, laughing. She hung onto him joyfully. "Have you missed me?" He frowned and she watched several moods pass over his face.
"I've missed those youthful good looks of yours." He winked and seemed to grasp himself. Ginny tied an apron on, stashing her duffel under the bar. "And the rest of you lass, never fear." She grinned and started doling out drinks and food in response to that appeared suddenly on the rotating rack. The system had changed, she hadn't remembered. "You've just gotten back then?" Tom joined her in serving the busy place. "From… uh…. From."
"Yes. I was going insane in the house after Oliver left. You know little Luna," He nodded. He had only seen her once but he loved babies. "That's Luna Lovegood."
"I've always sort of wondered." He rolled his eyes. "Honestly, your offspring Ginny."
"Just one." She corrected. "Hopefully, if I have anymore, they won't be that kooky." He shrugged. "Alright you old goat, what are you hiding?" She joked.
"Well now that you've insulted me, your elder, I'm not telling you." She laughed at his offended tone. She had missed Tom, too.
"I think I'll stay here a day or two then fly to Hogwarts. Another few days there and I'll scoot off to see Remus. You don't know where he is, do you?" She asked hopefully, almost missing the bowl of soup with the ladle she wielded.
"Careful there." He admonished. "I don't know where Lupin is, but I know that he's at some beachside house of a friend of his for the rest of the summer. Don't you worry about it. Dumbledore will know for sure. He's been keeping careful tabs on our friend."
"I just can't believe it, Tom. I kept expecting the Marauders to come in and try and pull off my skirts while attempting to buy me a drink. Amazing, what happened to such a tight group of friends."
"It just ain't right." Tom agreed somberly. "I've never seen a friends so tight as you and the Marauders." Ginny shook her head to clear emotion from it.
"I only got a year with them. I wish I would have a lifetime." Tom didn't answer. They discussed recent events and not so recent events. She sadly reminisced their New Year's together.
"You got out just in time," Tom finally said. "The next year, Voldemort began to rise. People thought he was a lunatic, at first. Then lots of people thought he had the right idea. Then… then they got terrified when they saw what he would do to make ends meet. His ends meet. It was a dark time you skipped, Gin. You should be glad about that, at least."
"I would have lived Voldemort's reign to be by my friends. I would have lived through it a hundred times." She stuck her chin up proudly and her tone was stubborn. Tom took a long mournful look at her and sighed.
"I know it. But you'dve had a tough life, fair Virginia, had you stayed. Brutal."
"I know that. But things aren't exactly peaches now, are they? And I would've been with the Marauders, and you, and Dumbledore, and Oliver… and Luna."
"They're not peaches." He agreed. He was thoughtful before he answered again. "And mayhap you wouldn't have had all those things. You stick out, Gin, you always have." She tugged a strand of her hair. "No more then the simple Weasley traits and charm, you're loveable. To the core. Why seeing you with the Marauders. It was like they were all your teddy bears, your boyfriends even. You just grab onto people and they're stuck on the ride whether they want to get off or not."
"Really?" She sniffed. It was a sweet thing to say, really. She thought.
"Really. I was miserable without you lass, without you helping out all the time. When you were at school and all. You're like a sweet little child who follows you around asking questions that you never get tired of answering. Once you're friends with you, you're friends for life. It's not a bad thing. It's not a sexual thing either." She blushed. "It's just a fact."
"Oh Tom. I think I can endure the future as long as you're here." He shook his head. "Do you have a vacant room I can rent?"
"RENT?" He asked outraged. "You'll be staying for free. And we'll manage to find one. Even if I have to boot out another customer. Oh, you think I'm kidding?" He asked at her laugh, though he smirked.
"Tom!" She hugged him again. "I've missed you so. I know it's nothing to what you've had to wait. But, oh…" She brushed tears out of her eyes and grinned as Tom showed his own gums. "You haven't asked about Oliver." She said sternly.
"Alright, how's the bloody young man." Tom went to wiping off the counter.
"I told him to get married. To Odessa Sprout, who have been quite the popular couple in the Quidditch times. She's quite good, you know. She got onto Scotland's finest. The public loves her and everyone loves Oliver."
"He's quite famous in this time, isn't he?" Tom said respectfully, still not saying anything on her revelation. "He's good at Quidditch then? What is he on? Puddlemere United?" Ginny nodded.
"Please say something, Tom. My heart's just been ripped out and placed in the 80's and in the arms of Odessa Sprout. Won't you say anything at all?" She asked desperately.
"What about that young man you've been seeing in this time?"
"You very well know that I've been dating Harry Potter. That young man, honestly." Tom grinned sheepishly and tossed his rag around in his hands.
"Well?" He asked expectantly. "I've said something."
"Well, in the year I was gone, Harry became a brother instead of a boyfriend. You can't just pick up a relationship when your views and yourself have gone through so many changes. It just wouldn't be right." Ginny sighed and placed a garnish on top of one of the orders going out.
"So how do you expect your Oliver to go through all that, just as you've ordered him?" Tom asked, making his infuriating point.
"It wouldn't work in the future, Tom. Anyway, Oliver's a better actor and a stronger person than me. He'll make it."
"You would wish that on him? A life of unhappiness perhaps, just to keep things normal?" He shook his head. "Stranger things have happened, then you and Oliver."
"I've changed my mind. I don't want you to say anything." Ginny said grumpily. Tom shook his head and ruffled her hair, pinching her cheek.
"You've never liked to hear the bad."
"Can you blame me?" She sighed and blew a lock of hair away from her face.
"Can't say that I can." He echoed her sigh and sent her upstairs to room four to unpack. She dragged her ratty tote up the stairs and threw it unceremoniously onto the luggage rack. She pulled out her toiletries and tramped off to have a long shower. In actuality she hadn't taken one in just a day, but she felt that it was much longer. She had time travel jet lag. She stepped into the steaming spray with a satisfied spray. The Leaky Cauldron. She was getting closer to home.
The next day she spent mostly with Tom, helping out and walking around Diagon Alley. She sent a letter to her family stating that she was fine, but she sent it with another owl. She was emotionally exhausted, and couldn't put up with the conflict of finally seeing her family. She would see them soon enough, in just a week's time. It was shaping up that her little holiday would only last a week or two. She needed to escape from the normality of the future and visit her now shattered past.
The second day she apparated to the Ministry of Magic. She had gotten her license, but preferred flying overall. She waited quietly for the cool female voice to ask her her name and purpose. "Virginia Wesley," The name was automatic to her, almost as if it belonged to her more then Weasley, "I'm here to recover some documents." She waited for a visitor's badge to clang into the change slot, but instead found herself being lowered into the ground. She shrugged and walked past the wand weighing to the lift. She knew where filing was, simply because she had helped her father out at MOM before. When she got there, she weaved between the bright orange filing cabinets to the one that read 'marriage licenses' in loopy red writing. She slid open the W-Z drawer and went rifled through it for a few moments. She pulled out the license, it's pale violet writing and flaky pink parchment. Someone cleared their throat behind her and she turned, clutching the document to her chest. "Oliver." She breathed.
"Ahh." He said uncomfortably. "I see you beat me to it."
"Would you prefer the birth certificate or this?" She waved it in the air. He strode to her and looked at the piece of paper lovingly.
"I'm not sure." He said earnestly.
"Whatever you want, love, I'll give to you." He didn't speak for a moment, running his fingers over the ring around her neck.
"You know what I want." She held up the marriage license, shrugging. He chuckled. "I want you." He whispered suggestively in her ear. She bit her lip at his warm breath and she was remembering other such instances when he had drawn so close. She could tell he was too, because he kissed her lightly on the earlobe and then tugged at it with his teeth. He smoothed down the velvety down that grows on everyone's ears with teeth and tongue. Ginny whimpered.
"Oliver, please." She protested without much conviction. Or perhaps she was egging him on.
"I've missed you." He growled.
"Two days. It's only been two days." He didn't answer as he pushed her back against a wall. He kissed her in a way that he knew she loved. And she fit perfectly into his arms, as only long time couples can do. He put his thigh in between her legs and let her lift herself off the ground using the wall as support. He pulled small bruises from her neck with his teeth and brought moans to the surface of her now exposed mouth. His hands roamed over her waist and all the way up to tangle in her hair. She did the same. Those wonderful curls, Luna's hair, she realized.
"Please Ginny." There were tears in his eyes now, threatening to spill. "Please Gin, just one more time." She bit her lip and panted, letting her feet hit the ground and her mind to refocus.
"I have room." She finally managed. "I have a room back at the Leaky Cauldron. Room 4. Let's get Luna's birth certificate and get out of here. Just one more time. Promise?" Oliver leaned into her and she stroked his hair, wishing it didn't have to be so.
"I promise." He said in a defeated tone. "Though I don't know why…"
"Please." She whispered. "Just one more time."
* * *
Oliver pulled on his pants and scratched his stomach. Ginny remained in bed, tangled in the sheets. He looked at Ginny, her eyes slightly slitted with the passion. The web and tangle of the bedclothes revealed a long, white leg, a side view of a slightly thick, curvy waist. His favorite, though he didn't know why, her thin, wiry arms and well shaped, plump hands. He rubbed his thumb against one of the aforementioned hands. She seemed to come to, slightly, and reached up to pull him to her. They shared a sweet kiss, so sweet that finally, both of their tears came. She held on to him in an embrace and finally leaned in, to whisper into his ear. "I love you, I'm so sorry." They stayed that way for a long time, before he felt Ginny go limp and her breath even. Tears still glistened on her cheeks and her fluttering eyes were red. He wiped his own and grinned as she began snoring. How he loved her. How he would miss her. He kissed her eyelids and her tear stained cheeks and lips. He stood up and crossed to the little desk, writing for awhile before apparating home to his flat.
"Oliver, baby?" He had apparated right onto the couch and a sleeping Odessa. "Where were you all day, honey?" She stretched as he stumbled off her and managed to sit up, rubbing sleep out of her eyes.
"Don't worry about it, Dessie." He kissed her forehead, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.
"I will worry about it." She said grumpily getting to her feet and grabbing onto his neck. She gently butted his nose with her own. "For all I know you've spent the day sleeping with… Ginny Weasley. Weren't you over at the Weasley place a few days ago?"
"For lunch. And I wasn't at the Burrow today. I went to the Ministry of Magic to look for something." He released her and started towards the kitchen. "What do you want for dinner, sweets?"
"Chicken Paprika, I think." She was running around in her underwear again.
"What if someone came to the door?" He asked, exasperated with her habits.
"I'd answer it and ask them in for tea." She joked nuzzling up to him again.
"Why do you always have to sleep in my flat?" He complained. "You have a home to go home to." He began to wave his wand around and watched ingredients clatter around, throwing themselves in various pots and haven seasonings thrown onto them.
"Why are you so grumpy? Honestly, you come home smelling like sex and in a bad mood. If you have a mistress, the least you can do is be happy after visiting her. You haven't wanted anything from me since you got back from the Weasleys. What's up?" She said angrily, pouting and looking hurt.
"I'm sorry, Odessa." He grabbed her and she leaned into him happily. She felt him swallow and sigh. "I'm just really tired." She jumped up behind him on the counter and straddled his back rubbing her knuckles into his muscles.
"Why didn't you just say something, goose? I know how to help out." She whispered. He turned around and held her at arm's length. She gazed at him eagerly. She wanted him, he had never met anyone as fiery and always on as Odessa. Well, maybe Ginny beat her for fiery. She had wild, flyaway black hair. Like her mother. She left it untamed, tying it up only for games. It was attractive for her, the wild nest on her head. She was slender with needy, watery eyes and a thin upper lip and thick lower lip. She had a beautiful narrow face and high cheekbones and jutting chin. She was slender and built with a small chest and thick thighs and ankles. Altogether, she shouldn't have been beautiful but was breathtakingly so. And she desired him above anyone else.
He leaned forward to kiss her and pretended that the hair he grasped was tomato red, the lips he bruised were plump and soft. The skin he nipped was ivory white and freckled. The woman that he thrilled was Ginny. But he couldn't pretend very much. Odessa was bones and muscle. And even when Ginny was working out every day to lose her baby weight, her muscles were still concealed underneath a soft supple layer of flesh. She was fat by any means, but full figured in the best way possible. You could mold yourself to Ginny. You could never fully absorb Odessa's body structure. Odessa was knobby, wild and skinny. Ginny was soft, adventurous and curvy. He would have to choose between them. And the one he chose wouldn't be in his arms for the rest of his life.
He chose Virginia.
* * *
Dear Ginny,
This is going to get sappy, so hold on to your hair. I left you the marriage license. I get this feeling that you won't be seeing me anymore. Not because you don't want to, I just get this feeling. And if I'm trusting my feelings, I'll need the birth certificate for something. I don't know, maybe I'm so used to being able to See in the past that I'm raring to go in the future. If you really want the birth certificate, you can owl me and I'll ignore my feelings. I'm getting good at it.
It's only been two days, and already I don't want Odessa. But I'll listen to you, like I always do, and ask her to marry me. It might work, and it might not. Maybe you didn't notice today, but I've got your ring in that little space in my pocket watch. I get it out every day and just sit there running my hands over it. I saw mine around your neck. I'm proud of you for wearing it so proudly.
So you ran away from home for a week to go to the Leaky Cauldron? And then you're off to Hogwarts and to see Remus Lupin? I didn't tell you this when you were telling me about your escape, but Hermione Granger owled me last night and asked whether I knew your whereabouts. Is she really observant or are we really obvious? I'm hoping it's the former, because if you're allowed to tell me to return to Odessa you damn well better be with Potter. Me… saying that with my awful jealous streak that you were always yelling at me about. And that your friends always yelled at you about.
I really don't mind the Marauders. In fact, before we left and you told me about the other part of the Marauders, I was impressed. And I still think you're the most brilliant looking Animagus out there. Beautiful and brilliant. I'll know every time, too, when you deliver a letter to me yourself. Which I hope you'll do every now and again.
I don't know if you can really do it discreetly, but if you could and if you feel so inclined, could you get me a few pictures of our daughter. I never really knew her at Hogwarts. I talked to her all of once if that. She stood out and blended in at the same time. If only she had your hair, I'm sure I would remember her more. It's amazing to me that I saw my little girl grow up and I didn't even know it. Didn't even care. I regret that more now I think than anything I've done.
So, the Quidditch season starts soon and I hope you'll come out to see me and all. I really do want to see you again even if I have to marry Odessa. She really is a brilliant Quidditch player. You're not bad yourself though. I know you're a chaser in the future.
Here's where I pour my heart out. Brace yourself. I love you. I don't know that we would have stayed together in the past if we had had a chance together. But I do know that because of the way we parted now, I'll always remember you fondly. Always. We were married, we toiled together, we had a child together. We lived the basic American dream in just a year. And we're so young. You especially. We've both grown up and are better people I think because of it. It'll hurt a little more when things happen in this future knowing the bliss of the past. Of you.
Before, you were simply a little memory in my mind. But now, you're my heart and my mind and my senses. My intoxication. I don't ever want to be apart from you, but I know that I have to be. It wasn't meant to be. We've both said so one hundred times, and I know that it's true, but it doesn't stop me from hurting. And I do hurt, so badly. I'm not the kind of guy to wear my heart on my sleeves, you know that better than anyone I think. But I'll wear it on my cuff if you want me to. And if you ever want me back. I want you. Always.
Love has earth to which she clings
With hills and circling arms about-
Wall within wall to shut fear out.
But Thought has no need for these things,
For Thought has a pair of dauntless wings.
On snow and sand and turf, I see
Where Love has left a printed trace
With straining in the world's embrace.
And such is Love and glad to be.
But Thought has shaken his ankles free.
Thought cleaves the interstellar gloom
And sits in Sirius' disc all night,
Till day makes him retrace his flight,
With smell of burning on every plume,
Back past the sun to an earthly room.
His gains in heaven are what they are.
Yet some say Love by being thrall
And simply staying possesses all
In several beauty Thought fares far
To find fused in another star.
I love you.
Oliver.
