A/N: Oooh... this chapter is the longest up to date, but the next one is twice as long... I think Cocteau Twins really inspired me... their music is so relaxing...
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TIME-TRAVEL
Chapter 11: Making Amends.
Harry had been crying for nearly two hours. He never felt anything remotely similar as this in his entire life. Never, in the countless occasions he faced death had he been so scared; yet, now, the fear growing intense in his chest numbed him. He was left alone with his silent tears. Yes, it was fear. But, what was he afraid of?
Probably solitude.
Though he never had anyone as close as Tom, he still couldn't understand why he felt so attached to the boy. And the thought of having let him down, betrayed him just as Salazar did, was eating his brain. His head ached, needless to say, but that wasn't bothering him much. No, he had a lot more things in his mind to bother with. Why he felt guilty of what happened to Tom.
So, basically, Harry was feeling afraid, depressed and guilty (for no reason apparent). He also felt overcome by thoughts. But even though he tried to clear his mind, rid it of any displeasing memories, he found it impossible.
He slowly got to his feet and headed back to Hogwarts. The castle never looked so dark to him. The stone walls seemed to close on him as he walked through the halls. The people in the portraits were staring into nothingness as trying to decipher where the shuffling noises came from, just as Harry passed under their noses, still shielded from view in his invisibility charm.
He headed out of the Entrance Hall into the school grounds. The clearings of the Forbidden Forest seemed cosy compared to Hogwarts without Tom. He blinked back a few tears and lay on the cold ground beneath him. He was tired and he weak. Every muscle seemed to ache at the slightest movement of his heaving chest.
It seemed ironical to him that he had been prepared for this moment since he first left his time, when he couldn't bring himself to drink the antidote to get back home. What was waiting there for him, anyway? Ron talking about how miserable he feels all the time, Hermione reminding him about 'Hogwarts: A History,' Colin Creevey taking pictures of him all day, Draco Malfoy making his life a living hell... that wasn't better than having Tom by his side. But since that was impossible, he had no choice but to take a phial out of his pocket.
His eyes had gone dry, lacking any more tears. He eyed the green and yellow liquid and snorted. He then swallowed every drop.
* * *
"...I want you to be happy. Please, be."
* * *
Harry woke up in the Hospital Wing. He was carefully tucked in a bed with white cotton sheets. He snuggled into the warmth provided by the soft wool blankets, not noticing the two people staring at him.
It was a few minutes later, after hearing him sob, one of the men nudged him lightly. He turned around to gaze into the piercing blackness of Severus Snape's eyes. He wasn't intimidating though, he was... sad?
Harry noticed Draco Malfoy standing next to Snape. He looked worried. He was staring at him in a very unnerving way, as if there was something wrong. Something concerning him. So he did what first came to mind.
"What, Malfoy? Have I've grown another head or something?" he snapped as coldly as he could, trying to ignore the salty streaks running down his cheeks.
Draco didn't say anything. He remained still, staring at him. Harry was getting more and more nervous each minute, but he chose to ignore the blond boy. Luckily, Snape broke the silence.
"You'll have to take this, Potter" he said, holding a phial of blood-red liquid to Harry's mouth "and then, I'm taking you to the Headmaster's office. He needs to talk to you."
"That doesn't explain what you're staring at me like that." Harry said angrily. He wasn't in the mood to talk to Dumbledore. He just wanted to be left alone, to suffer in peace.
Snape sat on the bed, next to Harry, startling him a bit. He lowered his head, just as Draco did seconds before. He slowly opened his mouth, but he closed it once more. He wasn't sure what to say, so he tried to push back past hatreds and offered a silent truce. "I'm sorry, P- Harry."
To say Harry was surprised was an understatement. But no words could describe how he felt. He wouldn't need to think about it, though, for Draco walked closer to him. Harry's suspicions were confirmed: something was wrong, indeed.
"Yesterday... there was an attack at Hogsmeade." He informed Harry. "Granger was in the Shrieking Shack with Ginny Weasley when a few Death Eaters set fire to the place. They... didn't get out of there in time..."
Harry's eyes closed and opened repeatedly, the pain in his chest growing stronger every second. Not only had he lost his lover, but he also lost two of his closest friends. "Who else...?" he asked, choking back sobs "who else was there? Who- who died?"
Draco glanced at Snape, who said nothing. Draco the, proceeded. "Ron Weasley was there as well. Just as were Seamus Finnigan and Blaise Zabini from Slytherin. They were tortured an put under the Imperius Curse. We don't know what they were forced to do, but they were found exhausted and severely injured. They were taken to St. Mungo's. They're in danger anymore, Harry."
Harry wanted to fall asleep and never wake up again. He felt terrible for Tom and now, one of his best friends were dead and the other was hurt and two innocent boys could've died because of him. Because he chose to stay a few more days in the past. Because he was selfish. But, deep inside, he was starting to feel bad about himself.
Tears welled from the back of his eyes, falling down as rain, but he didn't seem to care about the two men staring at him. He was feeling miserable and just wanted to cry. He was sitting on the bed with his knees up to his chest, hugging them. His head was buried on his arms, so he didn't notice Draco getting nearer. Soon enough, though, he felt a weight on his back. He turned to meet sad-looking grey eyes. Once shining silver with malice, now darkened by concern.
Draco Malfoy was trying to comfort him. As odd as that sounded, it actually made him feel better. It was a relief to know he was not alone, even when that meant being with Draco and Snape, who draped his cloak over his shoulders and helped him to his feet just as the blond let go of him.
He was guided to the Headmaster's office. Once inside, both men helped him sit and stood behind him, fearing he would collapse. Dumbledore remained silent for a few minutes before telling Harry what he dreaded the most.
"Voldemort" he paused "has planned an attack for this Wednesday's afternoon. The school is in great danger, Harry, and we depend on you."
It was then that Harry's eyes snapped open, tears long dried, and all of the anger burning in his chest seemed to explode. "And why, I wonder, all of you depend on me?" he asked icily "you're the only wizard Voldemort ever feared. You're as powerful as he is, hell, even more!" his voice was getting louder just as his anger increased "I'm just a boy!! I just lost Hermione and Ginny. Ron, Seamus and Blaise are in St. Mungo's severely hurt and we all know there'll be a lot more deaths, but I can't just suffer in peace, right? No, I have to risk my life, because everyone else is too busy plotting. I'm the one who is forced into the snake's mouth, so to speak, and I'm sick of it!! I just wish I could go back in time and bury myself in Tom's arms, so he never gets to meet Salazar and change history. Shouldn't be that bad, should it? Voldemort wouldn't exist and no-one would have died because of him."
Dumbledore got to his feet and went to were Harry was sitting. He carefully rested his hands over the boy's shoulders. "Harry, you know perfectly well that would be impossible. If it were all that simple, it would've already been done," he explained, "we can't change the course of time, Harry. It could fix our present, but it might kill us all in the progress. And the reason that we depend on you, Harry, is that you're as powerful as I am. I am just too old for sword fighting. I can't even lift it, Harry."
"Don't try to be funny, Headmaster, I'm not in the mood," Harry drawled, trying hard to control his temper and not smash his fist in the older man's nose. "I'll try and defeat Voldemort, as I always do, but I just want to let you know that I don't like being used. If I wanted that I could have perfectly well stayed at the Dursley's."
Snape, holding on to his earlier-offered truce, knelt in front of Harry. "Harry, we all are used. I used to work for Voldemort, then for Albus as a spy. Draco is following my example, so to speak, and he hadn't reach his fifteenth birthday when the Dark Mark was burnt on him. We all were used. The only difference being, you're the only one who's needed, to change the world. If you want to call that being used, then you might, but you'll know, deep inside, you're wrong" he paused "and however much you despise the idea, you're the only hope for the wizarding kind."
Harry rose from his seat and walked to the door, deeply stunned at Snape's little speech. With his hand on the door's knob, without turning back, he said "I'll do it. You knew I'd do it anyway, but..." he sighed "for now, I'd like to just be left alone to suffer in peace." Without another word forming on his slightly trembling lips, he turned the knob and left.
* * *
He reached the portrait of the Fat Lady who asked the password. He soon realised the password might have changed, for the Lady never moved. Muttering curses under his breath, he sank to the floor waiting for someone to come. Luckily enough, someone tripped over him only a few minutes later. Neville Longbottom must have not seen Harry lying on the floor. But he had the grace to feel ashamed and help him to a standing position. They faced the portrait of the Fat Lady and after Neville said "Burning Fenix" they entered their Common Room. Harry headed for the dorms, not noticing Neville close behind.
Harry reached his bed in a flash and, without wasting time, he lay on his stomach and buried his face in the pillows. Neville, in one of his rare outbursts of courage, sat on the bed next to the other boy's limp body.
"What's wrong, Harry?"
He didn't even look up when answered in a muffled voice, "Nothing's wrong Neville, just leave me alone."
Neville chose to ignore the request. Instead, he said "Harry, I may look stupid, and I probably am, but I know when someone's feeling bad. And maybe, and just maybe, if you talk about whatever's troubling you, you'll feel better."
No answer.
"Come on, mate! What is your problem?"
"You want to know what my problem is, Neville?" Harry looked at him with wide angered, watery eyes "You. All of you who think I'm some sort of hero who's always there to save the day..." He spat angrily at Neville "you'd all rather wait on your ass while I risk my life to save you, but who's going to save me?"
Harry made another angst attack at Neville, who listened carefully to each word. He patted his friend on the back, trying to comfort him. It didn't help much, but at least Harry knew he was not entirely alone. He knew, deep inside, Neville knew how much he was suffering. Neville was like him in many ways, and that made him feel better. He was sure Neville would always stand by his side, not expecting anything in return.
Harry lay still with Neville by his side. The chubby boy placed a hand on his shoulder and muttered "you don't have to do anything you don't want," and rose up from his sitting position to crawl into his own bed.
* * *
Harry spent the whole Tuesday in his dorm, behind closed curtains. Far away from Dumbledore. He didn't attend any classes that day; he had enough to think about already, to try and fill his brain with spells and goblin rebellions. He was so absorbed in his own misery, that he didn't notice a blond boy entering his room and pulling his bed curtains open.
"Po- Harry. Get up, I want to talk to you."
Harry narrowed his eyes and turned to look at Draco. "What could you possibly want to talk to me about?"
"Nothing, really. To be completely honest-"
"Well, isn't this a Kodak moment..." Harry retorted ironically.
"A what?" Draco raised both of his eyebrows, "Look, Po- Harry, this is hard enough for me, so try and make it easier, would you?" Silence. "I just want to say..." Draco took a deep breath "I'm sorry."
Harry looked just as he felt: confused and surprised. Not in his entire life had he dreamed such oddity. Let alone, thinking it possible. Draco Malfoy felt sorry?
But what was he sorry about?
As if answering his unasked question, Draco took another breath and continued "I'm sorry about... the way I treated you all these years. I used to think of you as Perfect Potter The Boy Who Lived To Have Everyone At His Feet," Harry snorted at the nickname, "I used to think your life was perfect. No-one saw the wrong in you, while I'm constantly judged or have my ass kissed because of my father. I was your opposite in every way. Yesterday... I realised how wrong I was. I had no idea you felt so miserable."
"You didn't know?" Harry asked sarcastically, "Well, for someone who didn't know, you did quite a good job mocking me about, let's see..." he began counting on his fingers "my dead parents... my fear of Dementors... the bullshit Rita Skeeter said about me and my friends in fourth year-"
Draco raised his hands, defeated... or annoyed. "I know I've been an idiot, but wasn't thinking. You never met your parents, I didn't know it would bother you that much..."
"What?!!" How could I don't mind?" Harry yelled, frustrated. "They were my parents!!"
"I wasn't thinking! And I didn't know it'd hurt as much as it did. Look, I really am sorry. And about the other things, well... I disliked the Dementors just as much as you did. But then again, I was being childish. I call it a truce. I'm willing to change if you're willing to forgive."
Harry was now speechless. His mouth opened and closed several times, no sound daring to escape his lips. Draco's outstretched hand was in front of him. Thinking back to their second meeting, he remembered rejecting his friendship. Was he really trying to be civil? Was he willing to change?
Answers refused to appear, but somehow he made up his mind. And, for the first time, Harry took Draco's hand.
"Just one question, M- Draco."
"Yes?"
"How did you come here?"
Draco smirked (he was still Draco Malfoy, after all). "Well... let's say I ran, or rather bumped, into Longbottom on my way to the Tower and he kindly lost this little piece of parchment." He waved said item on Harry's face, revealing the new password to the Gryffindor Common Room.
"I should have guessed Neville had something to do with this." Draco snorted and got to his feet. "Well, I said what I wanted to say, so I'll be leaving. And Harry" he paused to sigh "I don't know what will you do tomorrow, or if you'll do anything at all, but whatever that is, think about it first. Don't do anything you might regret."
Draco left, leaving Harry bewildered... and feeling a lot better.
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So? What do you think? Please leave a review!!!
Until the next and last chapter comes, I'd like to thank my precious reviewers. It went definitely better than last time, don't you think?
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