Chapter 4
I'm too Sexy
A/N: Okay, so we lied. Deeply sorry. We said we wouldn't write another chapter, as you can see. We decided against it, because we got another idea. This should be fun.
Disclaimer: You could sue us, but we're broke.
The four of them were still standing in the room. Hermione and Ginny were having a catfight, and Ron was trying to break them up while saying that he wanted Draco.
Suddenly the door burst open and Harry walked in.
"Oh no," Draco said. "Not you too."
Hermione spoke. "What are you doing here, Harry?"
Harry looked confused. "I didn't really have a choice. Everything outside this room sort of disappeared."
The laughter of the authors sounded again. And Draco shook his head.
Harry spoke again, "Why does everyone like Draco?" He put his hand on his hip, and gave an arrogant smile. "What about me?"
This time Draco burst out laughing. "I'm so much sexier than you."
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
"What on earth is the point of this?" Draco yelled to the authors above him.
"Well, there is this whole debate going on among the female fans about who is sexier, you or Harry. It tied, so now you two are going to duel it out."
"And how are we going to do that?"
"Obviously you are going to sing."
"Malfoy," Harry said, "who are you talking too?"
"You mean, you can't hear them?" Draco asked.
"Hear who?" Harry was now looking at Draco as though he was insane.
"The authors! They just turned me into Brittany Spears! And now their going to make us sing to decide who is sexier!"
The authors laughed again as Harry took a somewhat frightened step away from Draco.
"No one has said anything but you and me. And what do you mean, 'decide' there is no question. I'm to sexy to even have this conversation."
Draco probably could have come up with a witty response, but he soon started to sing.
"I'm to sexy for Ginny
Too sexy for Ginny
Even in New Guinea"
"I'm to sexy for my wand
Too sexy for my wand
Especially in a pond"
"Well, I am to sexy for London
Too sexy for London
Wow, the was redundant"
"We are enemies, you know what we mean
And we fight all the time in Hogwarts
Yeah, in Hogwarts, yeah
We squabble all the time in Hogwarts"
"I am to sexy for my robes,
Too sexy for my robes
Even to sexy for clothes"
"Well, I am too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat
Whacha think about that?"
"We are enemies, you know what we mean
And we fight all the time around Hogwarts
Yeah, around Hogwarts, yeah
We bicker all the time around Hogwarts
"We are enemies, you know what we mean
And we fight all the time outside Hogwarts
Yeah, outside Hogwarts, yeah
We insult each other outside Hogwarts"
"I am too sexy for my hair
Too sexy for my hair
It's better then that of a care bear"
"I am to sexy for Hermione
Too sexy for Hermione,
Cheese, and Ivory" Draco smiled confidently at his remark.
"Well, I am too sexy for this song." Harry finished as the music ended.
"Hey! Not fair! I wanted the last word!" Draco complained.
"Too bad, Malfoy. You lost." Harry smirked as Ron, Hermione, and Ginny all crowded around him, giving them congratulations.
"What about me? I though you all liked me?" Draco asked confused as the authors laughed from above.
"Oh, you are so two minuets ago," Ginny said, touching Harry's arm, flirtingly.
"So, who do you like best, Harry?" Ron said in a sweet voice.
"Yeah, you have to pick," Hermione stated.
"Well, Ginny." Harry had picked. "I mean, its obvious we're going to get together in the end of the books."
"Unless I die," Ginny stated.
"Right, unless you die."
"Wait a minuet!" Draco shouted to the ceiling. "I thought this was a Draco/Ginny fic! Remember the script?"
"You hated the script, remember? So, we changed it. Ron and Hermione will get together as well," The authors stated as Ron and Hermione threw their arms around each other in a passionate embrace.
"Who's left for me?" Draco suddenly felt very alone.
"We though you wanted to be alone. Remember the whole 'Nobody's Fool' thing from chapter 1?"
"I changed my mind. Could I have Cho?"
"Cho?"
"Well, she is hot. Not to mention I've always been a sucker for angst ridden relationships. She'll be dating the son of the right hand man to the guy that killed her ex. I like it!"
"We have a better idea," the authors claimed. And with that, Voldemort appeared into the dressing room. He pointed is wand at Harry and muttered the killing curse. Harry fell to the floor, dead. Voldemort promptly dissapperated. "There you go. You get Ginny and a very angst ridden relationship about how bad she feels that her boyfriend was killed by Lord Voldemort. Everybody's happy."
"Except me!" Harry called from the floor, still dead.
"Except Harry," the authors corrected.
"Hey, Draco," Ginny said, slinking up to him.
"Why me?" Draco muttered.
A/N: You know it's hilarious. Please review.
