Disclaimer: Get out of my house!! ::runs circles around Pigs:: I didn't kidnap the X-Men OR the Acolytes OR the Brotherhood OR the Morlocks OR any other mutants that may be straggling around without a home like, maybe, BoomBoom, thankyouverymuch. THEY AREN'T MINE! Look, see? I put a disclaimer. You aren't gonna look under the bed, are you?
A/N: Well, I've managed to write two chapters and not start with the schooling part yet. I'm not looking forward to it, why should I force it on the Acolytes so soon? Mayyyybe this story isn't about school at all! Maybe it's about them running away from school! Or maybe it IS about school. Who really knows? I might. I hope I do, seeing as it is my story and all…gee I hope I have a plot planned out for this. But what if I don't? Could you really tell? As long as I kept it going and it stayed consistent? I'm rambling now. On with it!
"Wakey, wakey!!!! Eggs and bakey!!!!" an overly cheerful voice boomed throughout the school for the criminally stupid. It didn't stay cheerful, though. "Get your lazy asses out of bed! I won't have any tardies. Meet in the breakfast room in an hour."
Gambit rolled over. 'Time for school. Get up.' He thought to himself. 'School…WHAT?!' He sat up in bed and looked at the clock. 4:00 am burnt red in his eyes. The monster. Magneto had woken them up at four so they could start school at five. He was supposed to meet the others in the common room at five! 'Curses. Foiled again.' Well, the first day of school was always the best. Except the last day. Maybe they would come back for the last day of school. He fell out of bed and started his morning routine.
While still trying to pick himself up off the floor, his door burst open and Pyro and Colossus ran in. They both looked panicked. "AHHHH! BOOM BOY!!! DID YOU HEAR?" Pyro exclaimed.
"Yes, yes. Hard not to. Come in and close the door." He grumbled.
"What are we to do, Gambit?" Colossus heaved a metallic sigh like Darth Vader breathing, only a sigh.
Gambit raised one eyebrow. "Well…um…we could go today and see how it is."
"Okay. Funfunfun!!" Pyro's panick had certainly gone away quickly.
"B-b-but the kids all pick on me at school!" colossus sobbed.
"Shut up, ya fairy!" Pyro poked Colossus' side. Unfortunately for Pyro, Colossus had guessed he would, and his side was covered by his metal shield thing. "Owwwww!!" Pyro whined as he sucked on his finger. "Ooooh! Now you gonna get it!" Colossus opened the door and ran, Pyro chasing after him.
Gambit finally got himself off the floor. Taking his showering things, he wobbled down the hall to the bathroom and took a shower. After that, he got dressed and put on his trenchcoat, of course, because Gambit wouldn't be Gambit without it. (Hear that, movie-makers?? GAMBIT WOULDN'T BE GAMBIT WITHOUT HIS TRENCHCOAT!!!)
About ten minutes early, he started out on his way to the breakfast room. After all, you never know what may happen on the way. Colossus and Sabertooth were already there when Gambit arrived. "What's going on?" he asked.
Sabertooth grunted something that sounded like "I ate Quicksilver. Oopsie." And, indeed, he gave a nice, loud belch to confirm what Gambit thought. Gambit moved to the other end of the table.
"We don't know. We just did what the Boss Man said." Colossus answered, close to tears. He had been close to tears ever since he'd found out they were going to school.
"Right." Gambit said. He picked up some toast that was sitting on the table and sat down with his feet propped up on he table.
"That's bad for your digestion, mate." Came a distinctly Australian voice from the doorway. They all looked up as Pyro walked in. His head drooped, his feet dragged, and for the first time in his life, as far as Gambit knew, he didn't have a laughing edge to his voice. "Sit up straight with your feet on the ground when you eat."
"I didn't know you knew stuff like that. Besides, you eat in the strangest positions imaginable!" Gambit took his feet off the table.
"You learn new things everyday, don't you?" Pyro yawned and collapsed on the floor, unconscious.
Finally, three seconds before 5, Quicksilver joined them in the breakfast room. All he got were tired, indifferent looks. It was a nice change from the evil, plotting glares he usually got. He laughed, "Cheer up! How bad can it be? Daddy planned it in one day! It'll be fun, as long as Daddy's teaching!" An apple core hit his head from the corner of the room where Sabertooth sat. Quicksilver walked towards an open seat, grumbling about mangy cats needing training, but tripped over a sleeping Pyro laying on the ground. His head contacted the metal flooring with a bang, and he was out cold.
At exactly five o'clock, Magneto hovered in with a WHOM. "Welcome, students!" He grinned the horribly fake grin you always get from teachers that try to act cool but are really stuck up, evil, old coots. He WHOMed all the food dishes, and everything else around that had nothing to do with school, out the door, and then he noticed Quicksilver and Pyro laying sprawled on the floor in an odd position. "My my! Some of us need to start getting to bed earlier. Lackeys! Wake them!" His face scrunched up in an distasteful expression as he looked at his son.
Gambit pulled out a two of hearts and threw it at the two on the floor. With a BAM, it exploded over their heads.
Pyro shot up. "Fire! Fire! Where's the fire? I smell smoke! I heard a boom! Where's the fire?!" It was then that he noticed Quicksilver laying on top of him. "AHHHH!!! Get it off!!! Get it off me!!!! What's he doing?? I always knew the little worm was queer, but THIS?? I've been violated!" He shoved Quicksilver off and ran around the perimeter of the room, not stopping, for five minutes until Magneto told him to sit down.
Sabertooth jumped over the table and landed on top of Quicksilver. He then proceeded to bounce up and down on top of him. Quicksilver came to in a second. "Ouchies! Daddy!!!" Magneto lifted Sabertooth off Quicksilver with his cool metal abilities and set him back in his seat.
"I just want you to know, Son." Magneto gave his son an understanding look, "I love you no matter what lifestyle you choose."
"What are you talking about?"
"What I'm saying is that if you were to have a different…er…sexual preference…than what's normal, I understand, and I still love you in a fatherly sort of way."
"I'm not gay, Daddy!" Quicksilver was appalled.
"Right. You can come out when you're ready." Magneto nodded, and Pyro coughed from his seat. The cough sounded strangely like "in denial", but Pyro insisted he was just coughing.
"Anyway, Son, take your seat and we can begin our first day of Magneto's School of Wonders for Criminally Stupid Lackeys by calling role." Magneto pulled out a sheet of notebook paper that had been ripped out of a spiral and had frayed edges, "Allerdyce, Saint John?" He yelled across the room.
"Yo!" Pyro yelled back.
"Oh, if you're here, I'd appreciate it if you would say 'Here' or 'Present' or something along those lines to indicate that you're here. Let's try this again, shall we? Allerdyce, Saint John?"
Pyro rolled his eyes, "Present!" He said in a sickly-sweet voice.
A laugh came from the back, "Saint John?"
"Yeah, mate. That's what my parents named me." Pyro replied to Quicksilver's laugh, "And if one of your parents weren't in this room and very powerful, you would be called Ash by now."
Quicksilver shut up…well, quickly. Magneto, however didn't appreciate this comment, "I will NOT have my students making fun of my son! I mean other students! So don't! Or I'll…punish you because that's what teachers do!"
"Yes, Boss Man. No more." Pyro grinned, not at all phased by the outburst.
"Moving on. Creed, Victor?"
"Huuuurmph" Victor grunted.
"Mmhmm…" Magneto eyed him, "Can you speak, young man?"
"Whummm uurp ee kahn." Victor replied.
"I won't have this insolence in my classroom!" Magneto blew up for the umpteenth time that day, and not the last.
"I don't think he speaks human. Maybe you could start a Human As A Second Language class, sir." Gambit came to Sabertooth's rescue. He was getting fed up. It should never have to take this long to get through two people's names.
"Um…of course I will, but not just yet. LeBeau, Remy?" Magneto hurriedly changed the subject.
"Gambit is here, sir."
"Very nice, young man, but I asked if Remy LeBeau was here."
"Yes, sir. Gambit is aware. Gambit and Remy are the same person."
"Class, I am aware we haven't gone over our rules yet, so I don't hold you responsible for knowing, young Remy, but here we do not use our codenames. All of you go by your birth names, as long as you are in my classroom. Let us try this again. LeBeau, Remy?"
"Remy is here, sir."
"Good, good! Ma-"
"Wait a minute! Ga-Remy, you haven't talked in the third person for at least a day!" Colossus pointed out, "What's up with that? Oh. My. Gosh! You aren't really Remy, are you?!"
"Aw, crap! My cover is blown! Now you all know I'm not really Cajun, I'm a new race they've been experimenting with. A mix between Iranian and Mexican. They call it…Ironic! But you can't prove it if you can't catch me!" Remy jumped out of his seat, picked it up, and hurled it through a window. He took a running start, and jumped out.
There was a pause where nobody said a word, then Magneto stuck out his arm. All heard the metallic WHOM that clearly means Magneto powers. Remy came floating in through the shattered window as if by magic, but the Acolytes knew better. "Nice try, Remy." Magneto set him back down in his chair, "But you're not going anywhere. I'd like to take this time to inform you all that I've placed alarm systems on all the doors and windows in this school. You will not be able to go anywhere without me knowing. Understood?"
Pyro looked nervous. His eyes were shifting from side to side and his hands were twitching. No more secret, late-night lighter raids?? Sabertooth looked a bit worried. How was he supposed to get food if he wasn't allowed out? Colossus didn't seem to mind, but Remy was pissed. So much for running away. "Good." Magneto nodded after looking at each in turn to make sure they had absorbed the news. "Maximoff, Pietro?"
"I'm here, Daddy!" Quicksilver said gleefully.
"If he's your dad, why don't you have the same last name?" Pyro asked.
"Shove it, Spaz. That's not your business!" Pietro replied, ever so courteously.
"Heyyyy! Only cool people can use my nickname, Ash!" Pyro whined.
Pietro opened his mouth to make it look like he had a come-back, even though he didn't, and when his Daddy saw this, he interrupted just in time, "That'll do. Pietro, I'm not 'Daddy' in school. Nor am I Magneto or Boss Man. I am Mr. Lensherr. Get it right. Len-sherr! Now, last name on my list, and quite possibly least: Rasputin, Piotr Nikolaivitch?"
"Here, Mr. Lensherr." Colossus answered sadly. Least…
"Crazy name, Twinky." St John comforted him.
"Yeah, mate. It's what my parents named me, and if I didn't have the restraint and decency I do have, your name would be Flat." Piotr said in an insulting mimic of Pyro's accent.
St John glared. "You and me, Tinfoil Lad. I'm taking you out."
"Oooh! Goody!" Piotr squealed and clapped his hands together as he bounced in his seat.
"NO! Not that way! Why are all the fairies hitting on ME??" John asked the heavens, exasperated.
Piotr turned to Remy. "You made all that stuff up about being Ironic, didn't you?"
Remy sighed, "Indeed, Remy did."
"That wasn't very nice. I actually believed you."
"You would."
Victor began grunting and 'cleaning' his foot, Pietro started picking his nose and examining the contents closely. Some of them he wiped on the chair, some went in his mouth. Remy began playing Solitaire. Magneto watched all this in distaste. This was going to be a long day for all of them.
A/N: Hoorah for Leslie! She got fourteen reviews already! This is quite possibly the best fic I've done yet! Thank you, Kayli for the idea about Ironic! I'd like to say this was in the plot all along, but you all know I don't have a plot, so I'll tell the truth: I forgot about Remy's little habit. Kayli the Great came up with that idea while I was panicking. THANK YOU!!!
I've got two things I would like to point out now: (1) Good news! Tearra, the one who gave me the idea for this magnificent piece of work…no, not work, fun!…this magnificent piece of fun, is joining the ranks! She is our third author sharing QuackMoo! Welcome Tearra! (2) Kayli and I have been discussing this fic and future fic ideas, and we've decided Kayli will be doing the sequel to this fic! (I guess that means I have a plot, eh? Nope! It's gonna be hell for her to keep up!) I won't tell what it's going to be about, but I can tell you it involves the Acolytes AND the X-Men for sure!
