Occupation Irritation, Part 4

DISCLAIMER: Cartman... not mine. Tom Kraft... mine. That ought to clear things up.

WARNING: Language. What else would one expect in a Cartman fic?

A/N: This chapter is really short and really stupid. It will be mostly in transcript form.

Tom Kraft, manager of J-Mart in South Park, Colorado, sighed in exasperation as he massaged his forehead with two fingers. This Cartman kid was different from the other people who had applied for the job of stock boy. Not necessarily in a good way. He had had his job interview that morning, and it was... unusual, to say the very least.

In his mind, Tom went over the conversation that they had had.

TOM KRAFT: So, what experience have you had in the field of J-mart?

ERIC CARTMAN: Experience? Do I come across as someone who's ever actually worked a day in his life?

TK: No. *mumbles* But you look like someone who doesn't need food at the moment.

EC: AY!

TK: Moving on. What's your expected pay rate?

EC: $1,000,000 an hour.

TK: Don't you think that's a little much for a starting pay rate?

EC: No, hippie!

TK: Well, I think starting you out at $5.15 an hour is good.

EC: Well, you know what I think?

TK: Wat?

EC: I think that sucks ass!

TK: *trying not to pop a vein in the forehead* Well, young man, despite your opinion of the gross pay, the current rate is the moderate payrate in the country.

EC: Eh?

TK: Never mind. Now, tell me, why should I hire you?

EC: Two reasons. One, I need money to bah sah Cheesy Poofs. Two, if you don't, I will kick you in da nuts!

TK: I... see. Thank you for applying for the job. I'll let you know.

*Cartman leaves*

TK: Thank god he's gone..

EC: *from outside* Do I have to rip your eyes out of your head with my bare hands and shoves them down your throat until you choke, you dirty fucking hippie?!

TK: Jesus Christ!

EC: *from outside* I'm just saying be nice to me is all.

Tom chuckled at the memory of the interview. Yeah, Cartman had given some wild answers, but Tom had a feeling he'd be good for this job. He decided to go ahead and hire the fat young boy as head stock boy. Not just because he felt a boy like Cartman would keep things under control with the other stock boys.

But also because he didn't want to choke to death on his own eyes, a thought that some part of him knew Cartman wouldn't be afraid to actually perform.

To Be Continued.

Coming Soon: Occupation Irritation, Part 5