LOST
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Away From the SunIt was winter. The cold of snow settled on the rubble city - the remains of Midgar. A lone blond figure, bundled inside his bomber jacket, wandered around the rubble, aimlessly. Bored though he was, he was extremely lost, but not in the physical sense. He knew his environment well. He was lost inside. It was all he had done to keep them alive, not caring if he himself died. Everyone, everyone on the ship, all dead...except for him...and as many times as death had seen fit to try and yank him from the world that now slept beneath the blanket of winter, awaiting the spring to rebuild, he had evaded it unrightfully once again.
He felt like shit, WAS like shit in his mind, and life was shit for him. It had been a half-year since. He slept no easier at night knowing he had lived. No. On the contrary, he slept worse seeing the graphic, sprawling images in his dreams, as he had seen upon awaking days later to the dead bodies of his team, his FRIENDS. Memories of them flashed through his mind and he shoved them away ruefully. That was of another time. When life had color in his eyes. The weather seemed no more sympathetic to him, than he was to himself, assimilating itself with his current thoughts of melancholy. He didn't even know where he was in the world, in life, in his life. It was like he had just stepped into the outfit of life, had just been born. His mind screamed for things to make sense, for things to fall into place. Something told him to look harder, deeper, and so he wandered trying to make his life make sense.
It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
Can anyone tell what I've done
I miss the lifeI miss the colors of the world
Can anyone tell where I am
He suddenly looked up, finding himself drowned in the blackest of his thoughts once again. He wished passionately it was not so, wondering if anyone was aware of his lacking life. If anyone knew, cared, …was listening. Long forgotten passion kindled in desperation, seeking answers, wanting answers. Looking up at the midnight sky and its cloudy cover, raining giant flakes of ice upon the planet, his heart whispered, resounding from the deepest depths of his now empty, aching heart, for an illuminating ray of light, something of that nature to find him in his dark place. He was tired of searching fruitlessly.
Cause now again I've found myself so far down
Away from the sun that shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down away from the sun again
Away from the sun again
I'm over this
I'm tired of livin' in the dark
Can anyone see me down here
The feeling's gone
There's nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I know
In that instant, the wind picked up its chilly song and blasted forth as if in direction and blew forcefully at him. He shivered in his jacket and buried his golden head further into it. It tore at his now shortened hair, sheared roughly in Cid fashion, and whispered loudly in his ears, pushing him in the other direction, a path he hadn't even considered stumbling over. He relented to the pushing of the wind and made his way into the rubble. He bit his chapped lip, not daring to acknowledge the hope building within him, beating it into submission, and forcing it into the furthest of his mind. He needed to find shelter anyway. Any longer outside, he might freeze and although he did not deserve the life he possessed, while others didn't, he wasn't courageous enough, or stupid enough some would say, to sacrifice it in an act of suicide.
And now again I've found myself so far down
Away from the sun that shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me to find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down away from the sun again
He swayed, jumped, and picked his way through the debris of the fallen city, wondering why he had even come back to Midgar, of all places. Hadn't ShinRa once said, "All roads lead to Midgar"? "I'll give him that." He thought bitterly. Soon, he came upon a section of town where things seemed oddly familiar, that maybe under the frozen white, there lay a forgotten token, or the plot where a home once stood. Opening one eye against the chilly slew, he spied a type of holy structure in the distance, planted amidst the place he was sure was once Sector 5. Sapphire orbs widened as he recognized the building. There stood the abandoned church, still managing to stand, and looking quite refurbished.
He examined the thick wooden doors, finding them to be the same very ones from the time he had thrown away, paneled against the cold. He leaned his forehead against the wood, wearily. Should he disturb this hold ground, seeking shelter here of all places? The wind tore at his backside and he signed in resignation. No. That wasn't why he hesitated, not at all. He waited, seeing if he wanted to awaken the memories and feelings he had pushed aside after she had left. They had been put away, collecting dust of time. Did he really want to stir up what he had purposely put behind him? Is that what he was doing, being here at all?
It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
And now I can't tell what I've done
Confused and cold, he summoned the strength from an unknown place and pushed through the doors, pushing away his fears at the same time. He immediately turned and heaved them closed with him body weight, slumping against them and sliding to the floor in the dark holy silence, eyes sliding closed to a no different darkness.
And now again I've found myself so far down
Away from the sun that shines to light the way for me
And now again I've found myself so far down
Away from the sun that shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me to find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down away from the sun again
Hearing soft footsteps, his eyes fluttered open and he was greeted with warm green-laced blue orbs, seemingly sun-lit in the darkened holiness of the church and its faint croaking from the wind and the weight of the falling purity. They peered intently out at him from a curious, imp-like face of a little girl, no more than seven years old. Her hair fell around her in strange fashion, some wavy curls of glistening chestnut. Spikes of ebony poked out and bent over to touch her curls in different places. Her eyes impeded into his questioningly, as his did hers.
He found the swaying green forests of eyes long closed and life extinguished, spiraling around her sapphire eyes, identical to his. Staring at her astonished, he reached up and brushed his gloved fingertips against one of the little sable spikes that had bent over into her face.
Aeris…and…Zack?
