(Author's Note: Well now…this chapter is funny I think…I wonder what that note was about…? Hehehe…this chapter was also co-written by me and Rueh…)

Disclaimer: FF7 and Squaresoft are not mine. Dete is. Rueh belongs to Rueh…

Chapter 5

Rueh's list

"The main hall…I didn't put the snap mouse traps all over the floor…" Sephiroth kept writing as Rueh spoke. Dete stood there with a nervous look. "The main lobby…I didn't put sticky mouse traps and fly paper everywhere!" Sephiroth nodded but didn't say anything. He just kept writing.

"Aaaaa…the gym! I didn't put thumbtacks on the floor or the gulf balls, fresh wax, and hot wheels cars…Oh! And the guy in the gym room who asked me to spot for him, well, he didn't ask me…" Rueh looked thoughtful. "The English room…I did NOT release those frogs and crickets!"  Sephiroth merely gave a small frown, nodded again, and kept writing.

"Oh! The plumbing! I didn't release the Midgar Zolom in it! And I didn't put Mu's in the toilets! I also didn't put rubber cement in the art teacher's hair…" Dete shot her a look. "Okay okay so maybe I did but he told me to! And he told me to put the super, super glue in the principal's chair!" Rueh said. Sephiroth gave her the strangest look and shook his head. He went back to writing.

"Don't forget the lab," Dete said.

Rueh looked at her confused. "Oh yeah! I didn't cause the accidental lab explosion! Or the accidental real fire drill. All the sprinklers went off," she said with the same confused look.

"Keep going," Sephiroth said still writing in the notebook.

"I never messed up the teacher's notes! I didn't overload a computer and cause electrical problems…or computer problems for that matter," Rueh looked to be deep in thought. She looked at Dete. "Anything else?"

"Umm…yes actually there is…" Dete said.

"Okay then what?"

"The cook…"

"Oh yeah! I didn't lock the cook in the abnormally cold freezer! Just like I didn't do the never ending flow of slinkys down the stairs!" Rueh nodded her head. "Oh! I don't know how that bully got on the flag pole. I guess he knows how to fly." She shrugged. Sephiroth looked grim as he kept writing and Rueh kept talking.

"I don't know who planted the hidden balloons filled with runny silly putty. I think the school has a bug problem too. Spiders kept falling from the ceiling. Real ones at that. Oh and don't drink the water…I heard that there was piranhas in the fresh water supply. There's no toilet paper either. It's all over the school…except for in the bathrooms. I don't know who did that," she said. Sephiroth rolled his eyes and turned the page in the notebook.

"Oh don't get hungry…there were baby monsters in the vending machines. I think they followed me home. Oh…don't get thirsty either. There's sewage water in the soda machine the last I heard," Rueh said.

"Is there anything else?" Sephiroth asked. They had moved into the elevator and were heading to the 1st floor.

"Umm…in math…I didn't tar and feather the teacher!"

Sephiroth raised an eye brow and looked at her. "Go on," he said still writing.

"The last thing…things that happened…when the fire sprinklers went off piranhas rained down…as well as purple hair dye. Oh! And there was a herd of BIG monsters set loose by someone and they were chasing your chocobo in the halls. Who could have gotten your chocobo? But then the cops condemned the school," Rueh said with a thoughtful look.

Sephiroth stopped writing. "My…MY chocobo? WHERE IS IT?" he said dropping the notebook and pen. They walked outside of the building.

"Is that it?" Dete asked pointing. Sephiroth and Rueh looked to where she was pointing.

"My…my…my…MY CHOCOBO!" Sephiroth cried and ran to it. It had its head slumped and was…well…bald. Except for a few feathers here and there. It gave a weak 'wark.' Sephiroth looked like he might cry.

"Oh don't worry. She was running fast enough that the monsters couldn't get her. I wonder what happened to the chocobo I jumped a guy for?" Rueh said.

"Hey Rueh…I'm going home now," Dete said slowly walking away.

"Alright. See you sometime. Oh DAD! And you tell me to act my age!" Rueh said turning her attention back to Sephiroth.

"Rueh…this chocobo is a guy," he said.

"No it's a girl," she said.

"I'm pretty sure that this is a guy…"

"No! It's a girl!"

"The last time I looked he wasn't."

-1/2 second later-

"GROSS!" Rueh turned her back on him. "That's just wrong!" she said looking like she would be sick.

"My poor chocobo…"

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When Dete entered her home Aeris was sitting at the kitchen table with her arm around a man's shoulders. He had blonde hair that was sticking up everywhere…and he was crying like a little kid.

"…and then…and then…"

"And then what happened Cloud?" Aeris asked gently.

"MY CHOCOBO WAS STOLEN!" at that he burst into fresh tears.

"There there. It'll be okay," Aeris said. She looked up and saw Dete heading for the stairs. "We need to talk young lady. I got a note from the principal about a few things that happened. He has requested a parent/principal conference."

"You look busy now so we'll talk later!" Dete said.

 "No! We're going to talk now!" Aeris said but was distracted as Cloud burst into new tears.

Dete ran back out the door.

                                    ****

"*sniff*…poor chocobo…wait…there's…but…RUEH!"

"Yes dad?" she asked sweetly.

"If this is my chocobo then why is there one in its stall?" Sephiroth asked.

"Wha…oh! The one in the stall is yours! That one's not!" Rueh said suddenly remembering the guy she had jumped to take his chocobo.

"Then get this thing away from me!" Sephiroth said pushing the bald chocobo away.

Just then Dete ran up to them.

"I need that!" she said and turned to run back the way she had come with the chocobo in tow. Rueh and Sephiroth shrugged and went inside.

                                    ****

Dete ran back home.

"I found a chocobo!" she said grabbing Cloud's arm and dragging him to the door.

His face brightened. "Where is it? Where is it? Where…MY CHOCOBO!" He ran to it and threw his arms around its neck.

Dete slammed the door to the house closed and locked it. She sighed in relief and turned to see Aeris in front of her.

"Hi ya mom…"

"So what is this note about?" Aeris asked her hands on her hips.

"It's not my fault! I tried to talk her out of it but she wouldn't listen! And I only stood under her umbrella to avoid getting drops of purple hair dye on myself!" Dete said. She glanced out the window. "Oh…my…gosh…"

"What is it?" Aeris asked. She looked out the window and paled.

Dete spun, grabbed the phone, and raced up the stairs to her room. She dialed the number. It rang 3 times then was answered.

"HeyRuehguesswhat?RememberthatchocobowellIgaveitbacktotheguyyoutookitfromandnowhe'soutsidewithitnaked!Bye!" she said all this in one breath and hung up not waiting for a reply.

                                    ****

Sephiroth hung up the phone and turned to Rueh. "I think that was your friend."

"What'd she say?" Rueh asked.

"'HeyRuehguesswhat?RememberthatchocobowellIgaveitbacktotheguyyoutookitfromandnowhe'soutsidewithitnaked!Bye!'"

Rueh nodded with a look of understanding on her face and walked away.

"We need to talk." She stopped and slowly turned back to Sephiroth.

"Really? Do we have to?"

                                    ****

"Who was that you were talking to?" Aeris asked standing in the doorway to Dete's room.

"My friend," Dete said.

"No. Her name."

"Rueh…"

"Rueh? Sephiroth's daughter?"

"Yeah…mom? Are you okay?" Dete asked with a worried look. Aeris had the strangest look on her face as she walked away.

                                    ****

(Author's Note: This is what Dete said on the phone…  

Hey Rueh guess what? Remember that chocobo well I gave it back to the guy you took it from and now he's outside with it naked! Bye!)