A/N: I really have to hurry up and get all my chapters posted before Sunday
the 24th of November or thereabouts, so hopefully this fic will be finished
soon. Expect lots of updates!!!! I hope anyway. And thanks to all my
reviewers, just remember from now on, you shan't be kept in the dark for
terribly long!
Disclaimer: Tolkien's brilliant ideas have been borrowed.........
Chapter 41: Coming and Going
After two long months of journeying, Celebfaer and Mildred finally came to the rock face that led to the Fairy Realm. It had been a long and quiet journey, for Celebfaer was in a foul mood and Mildred did not dare to say anything that would irritate her further. He knew that it took her all the will power that she had to not turn her horse around and ride back to Eryn Lasgalen, and whenever he mentioned anything to do with the place she snapped at him. So, Mildred had spent most of the time, planning and looking about at the forest as they came back. He had a plan and he knew that it would work he only hoped that the Queen would understand.
So, once they reached the rock face, Celebfaer said the word to open the way.
Once inside, they found the nearest river, then as was tradition, they replaced their travel worn cloaks with the cloaks they would be made to wear for their wedding ceremony. Once in those cloaks, they would wear them until the day that they were wedded.
However, it was the middle of the night when they entered the city, and they were able to leave their horses in the stable, then seeing as it was the middle of the night, they did not wish to wake the Queen.
Celebfaer told Mildred that they would go to the Queen in the morning, then she headed off towards her own room, not wanting to talk to anyone.
As they had journeyed away from Eryn Lasgalen, Celebfaer had found her strength and her hope failing. She had not wanted to leave Legolas, but for the sake of her heritage she had left him. She had left him because it was her duty to stay with Mildred and her mother needed her to take over the kingdom once she died. She had not thought that it would weaken her, not only in her heart, but in her body as well. She had found that last week of journeying hard, but for the sake of Mildred she had kept up the pace. Also, Celebfaer hoped that being back in the Fairy Realm would cleanse her and she would be back to her normal strength once more.
Once in her room, Celebfaer threw off her cloak and donned her nightgown. But when she lay her head on the pillows, she found that despite what she did, she could not sleep. So, she got up then walked to the window. Taking up the seat from her desk she placed it beside the window then sat, looking out at the stars, wondering if the Valar would forgive her for not following her heart. It was a cold night and Celebfaer wore nothing but her nightgown, as she did not seem to feel the cold. In the past few weeks she had not felt the heat of the sun or the cold of the nights. It was as though she was slowly going numb and she did not know the reason why. So, she sat on her chair, her newly restored wings, fluttering slightly behind her almost as if there was a small wind in the room.
Looking up at Earendil, the star that the Elves loved so much, Celebfaer finally gave into her heart. The tears that fell from her face were inevitable and she could do nothing to stop them, no matter how hard she tried. The sorrow that had been building up inside her since leaving Eryn Lasgalen had finally broken through her shield that she had built to hide it. She hid her sorrow for Mildred, because now that she knew Legolas was alive she would never be able to love another and she needed to try for Mildred's sake and the sake of the Fairy Realm.
She had not been proud of the way she had told Legolas of her decision to return to the Fairy Realm, but she had known that she had to, merely for the sake of her mother. Elysa, Celebfaer's sister, would otherwise have to take over the Realm, and most who knew the younger Fairy well enough knew that she had a very short temper and would not make a good Queen. So Celebfaer had denied her heart once more and followed her duty to her people.
The tears were following silently, as Celebfaer did not want any to wake from hearing her sobs because she could tell them no legitimate reason for the tears. She could not stop them either and the emptiness that she felt in her stomach was so intense that she bent over on the chair until it went away.
Still the tears fell. She knew that they needed to be shed, because after the next day, and the announcement of her wedding to Mildred, she would not have a spare moment to herself. Due to all the plans that would need to be made in preparation for the wedding, that would take place on the first full moon after their arrival back to the Realm.
Looking up at the stars once more, she stood up this time walking right to the window sill, and looking upwards so that she could see the moon. It was a mere ten days at the most from being full, and the thought made Celebfaer's sorrow worse.
"Legolas, can you forgive me and learn to love another, as I must?" Celebfaer whispered to the sky, then looking up at Earendil once again she waited for an answer that she knew would not come.
Legolas had sworn that he would bind himself to her, as Arwen would to Aragorn and as Luthien Tinuviel would bind herself to spend eternity with Beren. Yet she had left him, twice now and she asked him for forgiveness. She only hoped that he and Felawin would be happy together, as she knew that he would marry her merely because it was his duty to his father.
She did not know how long she stood by the window, looking at the stars, with the silent tears falling down her face. She had lost all sense of time, but when she heard a knock on the door, she could not answer, and instead she turned to see her mother entering the room.
The Queen was dressed as though she was ready to start the day, looking as noble and beautiful as she always did. The dress she wore was for once conservative, but still in the Fairy style and though Celebfaer thought it odd, she just sighed, then turned to look out the window again.
"Celebfaer." Her mother said firmly, so Celebfaer turned her head to look at the Queen, her mother, once again. There was no mistaking the tone in her voice and Celebfaer knew when to obey one that had more authority than she did.
"My name is Rydia mother. I am no Elf." She said sadly, and the Queen's heart broke to see her daughter like this.
Had she know that the trip to Withered Heath would have brought her daughter back in this state, Asura would have gone with the two of them, to make sure that her daughter was happy. The tears that clearly stained Celebfaer's face made the Queen want to weep herself for no one should ever have to cry from sorrow. Particularly the sorrow that comes from a broken heart.
"No, Celebfaer suits you my daughter for you truly do have a silver spirit. A very wise Lady once told me that love is the greatest thing that a being can ever know. To know love and have it returned is the best feeling, no matter what form it takes." Her mother said, wondering what her daughter would think of it and Celebfaer looked at her mother, shocked once again.
"The Lady of the Wood told me that once too."
"Yes, Galadriel. I knew her once. You see my mother sent me to the Golden Wood, disguised as an Elf to seek the counsel of the Lady once, when I was very young. She gave counsel to a poor Elf, and now as the Queen of Fairies, the Lady's counsel is still the wisest I have heard."
"Mother........."
"Celebfaer, I wished to believe that you would be the one to lead the race of Fairies out into the open to hide no more, but now I believe it shall have to be your younger sister."
"Of what do you speak mother?" Celebfaer asked, for she had told Thranduil that Fairies would not longer hide behind cloaks. She just hoped that her mother did not mind too much.
"Love my child." The Queen said with a smile on her face. "Your love for an Elf that I shall not and cannot let you deny."
Celebfaer looked at her mother for a few seconds, shocked, but then her face hardened and she looked at her mother with a firm and determined face. "That love is dead." Celebfaer said firmly and the Queen shook her head, laughter in her eyes.
"Daughter, I see the tears that stain your cheeks. If that love is dead then why do you shed those tears, even now as you try to deny that love. Your heart yearns for him and I would be condemned by the Valar if I did not grant your heart permission to love any being that you wish. It is the way of a Fairy to always follow their heart and never deny what they feel. That is the one lesson that you seem not to have been taught, and I am ashamed that you would think that duty is greater than love." She said and Celebfaer tried to stop the tears from falling once more, but failed.
"Mother, I cannot........" Celebfaer started, but the Queen closed her eyes briefly for a few seconds, holding her hand up to silence Celebfaer. When she opened her eyes they were serene and had a commanding look in them.
"I shall give you a horse of your choice and as much food as you need. All I ask is that you bring him to meet me before I pass on for one not of our race that wins the heart of a Fairy is surely a very noble being indeed." She said to Celebfaer and Celebfaer shook her head.
"But Mildred and I......"
"Mildred succeeded in his mission, that is true and your wings are more beautiful than any I have seen, and still exactly as I remember them, but Mildred's quest was always a hopeless cause."
"What quest mother?"
"The quest to win your heart." The Queen said and Celebfaer was confused. "You see, my daughter it is impossible to win a heart that has already been won. I knew from the day you walked back into the Realm that you would not find one of our folk, for that day you looked as though your heart still grieved the loss of one that you loved already. When I allowed Mildred to court you, I thought that the pain of the lost one had been subsided and that you might have been ready to love another. But it is clear now that your love for the Elf runs too deeply."
"Mother are you saying that I can just run off and leave my responsibility as an heir to the Fairy Realm and go back to Eryn Lasgalen as my heart greatly desires?"
"Yes my daughter. The only condition is that you come to visit every few years and bring your love with you so that the Fairy Realm may see an Elf worthy of the love of a great and powerful Fairy." She said. "And I know you may be tired, but I think it best if you leave tonight before it is announced that you and Mildred will be wedded." The Queen said, then she turned and walked to the door. Once there she stopped, then turned and smiled at her daughter. "But I shall leave you to think on it."
*****************************
The next day the Queen came back to see if her daughter was still there in her room. But Celebfaer was already on her way to Eryn Lasgalen. Nodding as if she had known all along that Celebfaer would leave, the Queen went in search of Mildred, to thank him.
It took Celebfaer only a month and a half to get to Eryn Lasgalen, because she traveled day and night, not wanting to rest until she got there. Some nights she rested while riding, as her strength was not as it used to be, and her horse knew the way. It had been a two-month trip back to the Fairy Realm so she had been away from Eryn Lasgalen for almost four months.
The scouts let her ride straight in and she arrived in the evening, just after the evening meal. She made sure that her horse was in the stables and settled, before she headed off to Legolas's rooms. She did not want to talk to any but him.
"My lady, you must report to the King first." The stable Elf called after her and when she didn't reply he called out once more. "I shall have to call the guards."
Sighing in frustration she turned around and glared at the Elf. "Where is the King?" She asked, her tone clearly showing her irritation and the poor Elf looked a little scared.
"I should think he would be in his study my lady........" He started, but that was all she heard because she had already set off for Thranduil's study.
When she got to the study she paused for a few seconds before she could bring herself to knock on the door, because what she was doing was madness. She had yet to recover from the journey back to the Fairy Realm and then she had left in the middle of the night at a dead run for Eryn Lasgalen. The new weakness that she had felt in the past two months was also contributing to her weariness. She had no plan except that she knew she was exhausted and she wanted to see Legolas and apologise for all her harsh words to him before she had left.
She knocked softly on the door and waited a few seconds before she heard a response.
"Who requests to see the King at this hour of the evening?" Thranduil's voice called through the door and she took a deep breath and took the hood from her face.
"It is Celebfaer, Scholar of Lady Galadriel, the Lady of the Golden Wood, Lothlorien and second-daughter of Queen Asura, Queen of the Fairies." She called through the door and there was a silence in the room for a time and just as she was about to leave, she heard Thranduil answer.
"Come in Celebfaer."
She opened the door and walked in to see Thranduil sitting in a chair by the fire and he looked rather old and frail, which was rare for an Elf.
"My lord Thranduil." She said, bowing deeply and staying down.
"You may rise Celebfaer, you are not a lesser Elf." He said and she rose and looked at him, his face was a little surprised. "Why have you come back from your journey home?"
"I believe I did not stay in Eryn Lasgalen long enough on my last stay and I wish to speak with your son, Legolas." She said and Thranduil nodded.
"Is Mildred with you?"
"Nay, he is not. I come alone and though I have no need this time I wish to rest in Eryn Lasgalen for some time."
"Have you run away from your people Celebfaer? Have they outcast you and bid that you never return?" Thranduil asked a little surprised that she was back, a mere three and a half months since she had gone. He thought that maybe the Fairies had thrown her out of the Realm and he would not take her in if that was the case. He wondered what had brought her back and why she wanted to speak with Legolas.
"Nay, they have not. It was indeed my own mother, the Queen that sent me here herself."
"You wish to speak to my son, however I wished that I could have a servant bring him, but I cannot for he is not in Eryn Lasgalen."
A/N: Once again Lady Katanya, you guessed right! Sort of anyway. Are you sure you don't want to write the fic? You seem to know my every idea........... Though I do wonder if you, or anyone else can guess what is going to happen next! hehe! But remember, everybody, you shan't be in suspense for terribly long! I'll probably post the next chapter tomorrow. If I don't then you'll have to wait until some time Wednesday cos I am going home for two days!
I am evil...... anyway hope you all enjoyed the chapter and stay tuned for the next one!!
Disclaimer: Tolkien's brilliant ideas have been borrowed.........
Chapter 41: Coming and Going
After two long months of journeying, Celebfaer and Mildred finally came to the rock face that led to the Fairy Realm. It had been a long and quiet journey, for Celebfaer was in a foul mood and Mildred did not dare to say anything that would irritate her further. He knew that it took her all the will power that she had to not turn her horse around and ride back to Eryn Lasgalen, and whenever he mentioned anything to do with the place she snapped at him. So, Mildred had spent most of the time, planning and looking about at the forest as they came back. He had a plan and he knew that it would work he only hoped that the Queen would understand.
So, once they reached the rock face, Celebfaer said the word to open the way.
Once inside, they found the nearest river, then as was tradition, they replaced their travel worn cloaks with the cloaks they would be made to wear for their wedding ceremony. Once in those cloaks, they would wear them until the day that they were wedded.
However, it was the middle of the night when they entered the city, and they were able to leave their horses in the stable, then seeing as it was the middle of the night, they did not wish to wake the Queen.
Celebfaer told Mildred that they would go to the Queen in the morning, then she headed off towards her own room, not wanting to talk to anyone.
As they had journeyed away from Eryn Lasgalen, Celebfaer had found her strength and her hope failing. She had not wanted to leave Legolas, but for the sake of her heritage she had left him. She had left him because it was her duty to stay with Mildred and her mother needed her to take over the kingdom once she died. She had not thought that it would weaken her, not only in her heart, but in her body as well. She had found that last week of journeying hard, but for the sake of Mildred she had kept up the pace. Also, Celebfaer hoped that being back in the Fairy Realm would cleanse her and she would be back to her normal strength once more.
Once in her room, Celebfaer threw off her cloak and donned her nightgown. But when she lay her head on the pillows, she found that despite what she did, she could not sleep. So, she got up then walked to the window. Taking up the seat from her desk she placed it beside the window then sat, looking out at the stars, wondering if the Valar would forgive her for not following her heart. It was a cold night and Celebfaer wore nothing but her nightgown, as she did not seem to feel the cold. In the past few weeks she had not felt the heat of the sun or the cold of the nights. It was as though she was slowly going numb and she did not know the reason why. So, she sat on her chair, her newly restored wings, fluttering slightly behind her almost as if there was a small wind in the room.
Looking up at Earendil, the star that the Elves loved so much, Celebfaer finally gave into her heart. The tears that fell from her face were inevitable and she could do nothing to stop them, no matter how hard she tried. The sorrow that had been building up inside her since leaving Eryn Lasgalen had finally broken through her shield that she had built to hide it. She hid her sorrow for Mildred, because now that she knew Legolas was alive she would never be able to love another and she needed to try for Mildred's sake and the sake of the Fairy Realm.
She had not been proud of the way she had told Legolas of her decision to return to the Fairy Realm, but she had known that she had to, merely for the sake of her mother. Elysa, Celebfaer's sister, would otherwise have to take over the Realm, and most who knew the younger Fairy well enough knew that she had a very short temper and would not make a good Queen. So Celebfaer had denied her heart once more and followed her duty to her people.
The tears were following silently, as Celebfaer did not want any to wake from hearing her sobs because she could tell them no legitimate reason for the tears. She could not stop them either and the emptiness that she felt in her stomach was so intense that she bent over on the chair until it went away.
Still the tears fell. She knew that they needed to be shed, because after the next day, and the announcement of her wedding to Mildred, she would not have a spare moment to herself. Due to all the plans that would need to be made in preparation for the wedding, that would take place on the first full moon after their arrival back to the Realm.
Looking up at the stars once more, she stood up this time walking right to the window sill, and looking upwards so that she could see the moon. It was a mere ten days at the most from being full, and the thought made Celebfaer's sorrow worse.
"Legolas, can you forgive me and learn to love another, as I must?" Celebfaer whispered to the sky, then looking up at Earendil once again she waited for an answer that she knew would not come.
Legolas had sworn that he would bind himself to her, as Arwen would to Aragorn and as Luthien Tinuviel would bind herself to spend eternity with Beren. Yet she had left him, twice now and she asked him for forgiveness. She only hoped that he and Felawin would be happy together, as she knew that he would marry her merely because it was his duty to his father.
She did not know how long she stood by the window, looking at the stars, with the silent tears falling down her face. She had lost all sense of time, but when she heard a knock on the door, she could not answer, and instead she turned to see her mother entering the room.
The Queen was dressed as though she was ready to start the day, looking as noble and beautiful as she always did. The dress she wore was for once conservative, but still in the Fairy style and though Celebfaer thought it odd, she just sighed, then turned to look out the window again.
"Celebfaer." Her mother said firmly, so Celebfaer turned her head to look at the Queen, her mother, once again. There was no mistaking the tone in her voice and Celebfaer knew when to obey one that had more authority than she did.
"My name is Rydia mother. I am no Elf." She said sadly, and the Queen's heart broke to see her daughter like this.
Had she know that the trip to Withered Heath would have brought her daughter back in this state, Asura would have gone with the two of them, to make sure that her daughter was happy. The tears that clearly stained Celebfaer's face made the Queen want to weep herself for no one should ever have to cry from sorrow. Particularly the sorrow that comes from a broken heart.
"No, Celebfaer suits you my daughter for you truly do have a silver spirit. A very wise Lady once told me that love is the greatest thing that a being can ever know. To know love and have it returned is the best feeling, no matter what form it takes." Her mother said, wondering what her daughter would think of it and Celebfaer looked at her mother, shocked once again.
"The Lady of the Wood told me that once too."
"Yes, Galadriel. I knew her once. You see my mother sent me to the Golden Wood, disguised as an Elf to seek the counsel of the Lady once, when I was very young. She gave counsel to a poor Elf, and now as the Queen of Fairies, the Lady's counsel is still the wisest I have heard."
"Mother........."
"Celebfaer, I wished to believe that you would be the one to lead the race of Fairies out into the open to hide no more, but now I believe it shall have to be your younger sister."
"Of what do you speak mother?" Celebfaer asked, for she had told Thranduil that Fairies would not longer hide behind cloaks. She just hoped that her mother did not mind too much.
"Love my child." The Queen said with a smile on her face. "Your love for an Elf that I shall not and cannot let you deny."
Celebfaer looked at her mother for a few seconds, shocked, but then her face hardened and she looked at her mother with a firm and determined face. "That love is dead." Celebfaer said firmly and the Queen shook her head, laughter in her eyes.
"Daughter, I see the tears that stain your cheeks. If that love is dead then why do you shed those tears, even now as you try to deny that love. Your heart yearns for him and I would be condemned by the Valar if I did not grant your heart permission to love any being that you wish. It is the way of a Fairy to always follow their heart and never deny what they feel. That is the one lesson that you seem not to have been taught, and I am ashamed that you would think that duty is greater than love." She said and Celebfaer tried to stop the tears from falling once more, but failed.
"Mother, I cannot........" Celebfaer started, but the Queen closed her eyes briefly for a few seconds, holding her hand up to silence Celebfaer. When she opened her eyes they were serene and had a commanding look in them.
"I shall give you a horse of your choice and as much food as you need. All I ask is that you bring him to meet me before I pass on for one not of our race that wins the heart of a Fairy is surely a very noble being indeed." She said to Celebfaer and Celebfaer shook her head.
"But Mildred and I......"
"Mildred succeeded in his mission, that is true and your wings are more beautiful than any I have seen, and still exactly as I remember them, but Mildred's quest was always a hopeless cause."
"What quest mother?"
"The quest to win your heart." The Queen said and Celebfaer was confused. "You see, my daughter it is impossible to win a heart that has already been won. I knew from the day you walked back into the Realm that you would not find one of our folk, for that day you looked as though your heart still grieved the loss of one that you loved already. When I allowed Mildred to court you, I thought that the pain of the lost one had been subsided and that you might have been ready to love another. But it is clear now that your love for the Elf runs too deeply."
"Mother are you saying that I can just run off and leave my responsibility as an heir to the Fairy Realm and go back to Eryn Lasgalen as my heart greatly desires?"
"Yes my daughter. The only condition is that you come to visit every few years and bring your love with you so that the Fairy Realm may see an Elf worthy of the love of a great and powerful Fairy." She said. "And I know you may be tired, but I think it best if you leave tonight before it is announced that you and Mildred will be wedded." The Queen said, then she turned and walked to the door. Once there she stopped, then turned and smiled at her daughter. "But I shall leave you to think on it."
*****************************
The next day the Queen came back to see if her daughter was still there in her room. But Celebfaer was already on her way to Eryn Lasgalen. Nodding as if she had known all along that Celebfaer would leave, the Queen went in search of Mildred, to thank him.
It took Celebfaer only a month and a half to get to Eryn Lasgalen, because she traveled day and night, not wanting to rest until she got there. Some nights she rested while riding, as her strength was not as it used to be, and her horse knew the way. It had been a two-month trip back to the Fairy Realm so she had been away from Eryn Lasgalen for almost four months.
The scouts let her ride straight in and she arrived in the evening, just after the evening meal. She made sure that her horse was in the stables and settled, before she headed off to Legolas's rooms. She did not want to talk to any but him.
"My lady, you must report to the King first." The stable Elf called after her and when she didn't reply he called out once more. "I shall have to call the guards."
Sighing in frustration she turned around and glared at the Elf. "Where is the King?" She asked, her tone clearly showing her irritation and the poor Elf looked a little scared.
"I should think he would be in his study my lady........" He started, but that was all she heard because she had already set off for Thranduil's study.
When she got to the study she paused for a few seconds before she could bring herself to knock on the door, because what she was doing was madness. She had yet to recover from the journey back to the Fairy Realm and then she had left in the middle of the night at a dead run for Eryn Lasgalen. The new weakness that she had felt in the past two months was also contributing to her weariness. She had no plan except that she knew she was exhausted and she wanted to see Legolas and apologise for all her harsh words to him before she had left.
She knocked softly on the door and waited a few seconds before she heard a response.
"Who requests to see the King at this hour of the evening?" Thranduil's voice called through the door and she took a deep breath and took the hood from her face.
"It is Celebfaer, Scholar of Lady Galadriel, the Lady of the Golden Wood, Lothlorien and second-daughter of Queen Asura, Queen of the Fairies." She called through the door and there was a silence in the room for a time and just as she was about to leave, she heard Thranduil answer.
"Come in Celebfaer."
She opened the door and walked in to see Thranduil sitting in a chair by the fire and he looked rather old and frail, which was rare for an Elf.
"My lord Thranduil." She said, bowing deeply and staying down.
"You may rise Celebfaer, you are not a lesser Elf." He said and she rose and looked at him, his face was a little surprised. "Why have you come back from your journey home?"
"I believe I did not stay in Eryn Lasgalen long enough on my last stay and I wish to speak with your son, Legolas." She said and Thranduil nodded.
"Is Mildred with you?"
"Nay, he is not. I come alone and though I have no need this time I wish to rest in Eryn Lasgalen for some time."
"Have you run away from your people Celebfaer? Have they outcast you and bid that you never return?" Thranduil asked a little surprised that she was back, a mere three and a half months since she had gone. He thought that maybe the Fairies had thrown her out of the Realm and he would not take her in if that was the case. He wondered what had brought her back and why she wanted to speak with Legolas.
"Nay, they have not. It was indeed my own mother, the Queen that sent me here herself."
"You wish to speak to my son, however I wished that I could have a servant bring him, but I cannot for he is not in Eryn Lasgalen."
A/N: Once again Lady Katanya, you guessed right! Sort of anyway. Are you sure you don't want to write the fic? You seem to know my every idea........... Though I do wonder if you, or anyone else can guess what is going to happen next! hehe! But remember, everybody, you shan't be in suspense for terribly long! I'll probably post the next chapter tomorrow. If I don't then you'll have to wait until some time Wednesday cos I am going home for two days!
I am evil...... anyway hope you all enjoyed the chapter and stay tuned for the next one!!
