A beautiful song sang by Faye Wong featured in Final Fantasy VIII. The mandarin version was very good too. My first Henry and Ruki pairing. Have mercy.

Eyes on Me


Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard

There you were, alone in your solitary confinement; refused to make any conversation with anyone nor mutter a single nondescript, "Hello" or "Good Morning" to anyone who greeted you along their way. How little you have changed. And so did my feelings for you. But I guessed you will never know them. You were too busy with your hectic life to even notice a normal being like me.

You were, like always, a mere quarter metre in front of me, munching bread while finishing your inundated assignments. You were so engrossed to even realize me, sitting in front of you all the while, hoping against hope for you to notice. But nay, you did not. And that hurts. Perhaps things will work out better in time soon to come but I'm afraid there wouldn't be much time left for me. I'm leaving, my dear. For a place so far away…

And I wish I could confess my feelings by then…

"Hey, Henry!"


I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar

I looked up and snapped out of my thoughts upon hearing your melodious voice. I couldn't help but be mesmerized by the soft amethyst colour of your eyes, reminding me of the cherry blossom and me, a mere butterfly who was loosing its colour rapidly day by day.

I tried to blink, just to see whether you were really calling for me. I used to have fantasies of you smiling so ever adoring at me which never lasted for a day and always managed to leave me quenching for more. A smile, or a simple nod would be just fine. But I guessed there is something that just will never happen.

But this time around, you actually acknowledged me. My heart skipped several beats.

"Henry, are you going on the summer vacation with us?"

I raised an eyebrow. Summer vacation? I tried to recall.

You waited for an answer patiently.

Aah…that one. Ryo been talking about that trip who quite a while.

I see…

"Perhaps." I merely answered.

"Really?" You looked disappointed. Or maybe it was just me. "I really hope you would come along too." You pleaded which was very unlike you. But –

You were persuasive.

I agreed at last. I couldn't bare watching depression haunt you. All I wanted was for you to be happy, and I'll be contented.

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me

Two weeks passed through the hour glass. Two weeks of me constantly missing your beautiful face and angelic feature. I often wondered where you would be. Were you with him when I wasn't around? Making out in some deserted corridor or classroom? I started to hallucinate. And it was no good, but I was glad the two weeks come and go before I could even blink.

School days were almost over and so were my days. I don't know how long I could stand any longer. Yet, summer break was here before I could even say –

"Want one?" You offered the plate of barbecued sausages and your eyes glimmered with much joviality. The sorrows that once drenched your eyes were now all gone. I could sense just by looking into those lovely pair of wonders. Something had replaced your fallen defence and I think I had the scantiest idea what was occupying your mind all this while. You were in love. But it wasn't me.

"No thanks. I have enough of it." I gently declined, looking directly into your eyes.

Can you see I have feeling for you too?

Oh, did you ever know?
That I had mine on you

You didn't seem to notice that spark of longing in mine. I should have guessed. You were to busy with him to bother about me.

Your laughter rang into my ears and I saw you laughing blissfully with him in a corner while all of us sat around the camp fire, each minding our own business. Bitterness seeped in once more. I realized, I was alone all this while…

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

I was all alone that night. The night when insomnia decided to attack me. I couldn't sleep. My mind was too preoccupied with you. Can't you see he was a total playboy? I know he can't be the one for you.

I strolled along the bank of the calm lake. The moon was waning that night and I could see its reflection smiling back at me. It was a pure, innocent smile. Unlike mine.

"Hen—ry."

My name was called from a distance. I was lured to the source of voice. It was you.

I forced a smile out and was met with an equal one. You were faking it. I just knew it. But you tried to hide it as much as I wanted to deny it.

"Hey." I replied as nonchalantly as possible.

You collapsed onto a spot and I followed you soon after. I couldn't bear to sit and watch you all alone, deceiving the world with a fake façade.

So let me come to you
Close as I wanted to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper

"Are you all right?" my voice had a hint of thick concern though I tried to hide it. Instantly you collapsed into my arms, so cold and distant to my touch, something not meant for me. But I held you, so tightly, drawing you some comfort, all the while afraid it may only be a dream, something which will disappear once I wake up from my slumber.

But it was real.

You cried into my chest and I lulled you into a soft trance. I caressed your hair gently…such beautiful strands of hair. If only they were mine…

You told me everything. You poured out your soul to me. Yet I can see, you weren't telling me the entire truth. You were hiding something. What was it? What was it that you were so frightened to share with me? Why can't you just tell me?

How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
did you ever know
That I had mine on you

You consulted for advice. I gave them willingly without hesitation. You demanded for attention. I gave them too completely without any second thought. And all I asked for in return, was some love and care from you. Was it so hard to do?

Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming

You stopped crying after a while and smiled at me. You eyes were peaceful and wore no more sorrow or despair. I'm glad.

"Thanks for everything, Henry. I know I could count on you whenever I'm down. I just want you to know that I think of you like a brother, someone so close to me from the bottom of my heart. I'm so glad to have known a friend like you. I'm all right now. Good night."

And you walked away after leaving a heartbreaking message. I was torn once more. Lord, why give me hope when You only give me a deeper depression after that?

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

I watched your retreating figure in silence. I felt somehow you were walking away from my life for real this time. If only I could some summon all my courage and tell you how much I love you, you wouldn't have walk away from me for the second time. How I hated myself for being a chicken. I should have confessed.

"Henry…" A voice rescued me out from the pit of darkness.

"Alice…" I was shocked. Was she there all the while, viewing the entire exchange?

She sat down and muttered, "If you feel like crying, I could lend you my shoulder." She offered but her gaze wasn't laid upon me. Instead she cast it to the far away distant as if drowning in sweet reverie. "That's it…if you want." Her voice was dulcet and soft.

It was like a slap onto my face. To cry in front of Alice would be something that I will never do. I will never be able to face her again and live as a real man. But time was running short. It certainly was. And perhaps I will never see her again too.

I turned to her, my voice rather shaky, but determined and yet obviously on the verge of tears, "I knew it would happen one day. Those two were meant for each other, and there is no doubt that they will be happy."

She regarded it warily, "Yes, I am sure they will. But how about you? Will you ever be?"

Her question stabbed me right at my heart. I tried to grin…however I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Instead, I cried into her arms.

Rika……