A/N: I just want to respond to a review: SheilaB- it's not meant to make fun of fanfiction, I'm just incapable of being serious (although sometimes my hatred for bad stories sort of seeps in). I didn't write it to make a point so nothing would be better served if I tried to make it serious, I mean, it has no plot. Also, how can parodies be passe? That's like saying bread is passe.
When Snape had finally gone Draco thought maybe things at their table would return to a nice, comfortable silence like before but, unfortunately, this was not the case.
Harry began to sob uncontrollably and said, through tears, "Oh Draco! I've always been in love with you!"
"What?!" asked Draco, in a voice so high that it was only audible to cats.
"Why won't you say anything?" asked Harry, because he couldn't hear Draco's response.
"I…" but Draco realized that he had nothing to say so he ran away. He began running down the street as quickly as he could, not caring where he went as long as it was away from Potter. After running for a few blocks he noticed that Harry was quickly approaching. 'Damn his speediness!' thought Draco. Then he had another thought, 'I can make a magical disguise!' He pointed his wand at himself and said, "Disguiseicticus!" Unfortunately, his brilliant disguise consisted of a fake, gray beard and a top hat. Draco didn't realize that his costume was so moronic because, for once in his life, he was without a mirror. He stopped running, thinking that Harry wouldn't recognize him but this turned out to be a bigger mistake than letting Snape into his room a few chapters back.
"Draco!" yelled Harry, quickly catching up with him.
"Oh, damn," muttered Draco as Harry walked over to him.
"Draco, take off that silly beard and hat."
"How can you see through my disguise?"
"Disguise?"
"Never mind." Draco felt bad that he had ended the verbal sparring because when Harry realized that the conversation was over he began to touch Draco in a very private place, "Stop! That's a private place!" said Draco, pushing Harry away.
"Well, yeah, we can finally end our fighting. Won't everyone be surprised when we tell them of out love for each other?"
"Surprised?! Are you insane? My father will kill me…and anyway, it's beside the point because there will be no declaring of love to anyone!"
"Oh, so you want to keep our love a secret?"
"No, there will be no love of any kind between us!"
Harry burst into tears. Draco was not in the mood to be manipulated so he burst in to tears as well, deciding that two could play at that game.
Just then a strange man with a terrible haircut walked over to them and said, "Boys, why are you crying? Why don't you come home with me and I'll give you tea and biscuits."
For some reason Harry and Draco followed him. Maybe it was because they were so distraught, Draco was so distraught that he didn't even notice the man's catastrophic hairstyle.
