Title: Like It Like That

Author: Yih

Disclaimer: All rights are JK Rowling, just borrowing the characters for some slashy goodness!

Warning:  This is slash!  M/M relationship!  Don't bother flaming since this is your warning, got it? 

~

5: Life is Compromise (July 21, 2003 to July 22, 2003)

"It's my bloody life!" Harry screamed out Draco.  "You are not going to give your life for me!  I've had enough of that already!  With Sirius!  With Remus!  I've had enough of people sacrificing their lives for me!  I will not let you do that!  You bloody idiot!  You don't even love me!"

Yeah, but he loved to see Harry like this, Draco reflected with quiet amusement.  It didn't hurt either that Severus had double dosed Harry with Pepper Up as well as forcing a Nutrients Potion down his throat.  While they only offered temporary solutions, well all of the solutions were temporary, they had at least added some color to Harry's haunting paleness.  The golden boy wasn't suppose to be pasty white but a glowing tanned brown. 

"Maybe I don't," Draco murmured softly, "but I care deeply for you.  But then, maybe I do.  I don't really know.  You've never let me really get close to you, Harry, not really.  You always leave or we shag, but we never really talk.  When we do talk though, it's pretty incredible." 

That was one way of phrasing it, Harry thought wryly.  It was pretty amazing.  They didn't really agree on much, but they respected each other's opinions.  It was quite unbelievable what they could talk about now that they were mature adults.  Differing opinions certainly sparked lively discussions that invariably led to them getting too animated and using that energy in other areas… namely in the bedroom. 

"Draco… I won't let you give your life for me," Harry said with weariness.  "I never expected to live this long, and my life's not been a terrific ride but neither has it been a terrible one.  It's been quite exhilarating at times, and I've lived it to the fullest.  Especially the last 6 months with you."

"It's been the same for me, too," Draco whispered back.  "Let me do this for you, and will you stop being the bloody hero all the time?  It's not necessary.  You destroyed him, vanquished him.  It's time to be normal Harry Potter that you've always wanted to be, and it's about time you let someone bear some of the brunt.  And if I want to, it's my goddamn life and not yours." 

"Self sacrifice is decidedly a Gryffindor trademark," Harry commented.  "And we're stubborn to.  What makes you think I'm going to let you do this?  Especially knowing that more than likely you're going to die with me prematurely?  You're crazy if you think I'm going to let you do that, crazy Draco!" 

"Tell me what do I have to live for?" Draco shot back.  "You're the only one that treats me decently.  Most of the Slytherins are dead.  The only one I even talk to is Blaise, he's my only sodding friend!"

"They just don't realize what you did," Harry remarked.  "They will one day, besides you're a beautiful young man--- gorgeous really, you'll find someone.  And I'm sure that Zabini wouldn't mind taking my place when I'm gone.  I always did think there was more than friendship going on with you two."

"Jealous?" Draco queried. 

"A bit," Harry admitted with a small laugh.  "Who wouldn't be?  Blaise is damn sexy."

"I don't want Blaise; I want you.  Let me do this for you, Harry.  Please."

"No.  I won't let you do something idiotic like this!" Harry exclaimed, his cheeks flushed with his stubbornness.  Draco knew he wasn't going to win.  He had no choice, he had to back off.  Backing off didn't mean he was quitting, it was about time that Harry realized that Gryffindors weren't the only ones that were stubborn.  Besides, Slytherins always got what they wanted.  It was time to pull out the big guns. 

~

Silence.  Dead silence.  Even a motion of air could probably be heard in this deadly silent room.  Draco hadn't known what to expect when he told Hermione and Ron that he needed their help to convince Harry to let him give his life force to him to help him live longer.  He thought they knew.  He was shocked they didn't know.  It did please him a little that Harry had told him first.  A little.  Mostly it made him realize how ready Harry was to die, to close himself off from his best friends. 

They hadn't know.  They were his best friends, and they hadn't know.  Hermione was horrified.  Ron felt like he'd dropped into an abyss.  They stared at each other with complete disbelief, shock, and horror that they hadn't know.  True, they had both been concerned with his lifestyle, but they hadn't realized why he was doing what he was doing.  Why he was being so un-Harry-like.  Now they knew.  It was because he was trying to get the most out of life before he died.

Imagine their surprise that Draco was the one to tell them.  They hadn't even known who Harry's mystery lover was.  They probably wouldn't have been happy with Harry's choice, but they were resigned to it, especially now that they saw clearly how much Draco cared about Harry.  And while they might not like the Slytherin, they respected him and were prepared to do anything to help him win Harry over to this solution, even if it was temporary.  It was better than nothing.

"We're in," Hermione stated resolutely.  "What do you want us to do?"

~

They ganged up on him.  All of them.  Draco had brought everyone he thought that mattered to him--- and he'd chosen right.  He'd gotten Hermione and Ron.  His best friends through the thick and the thin, his protectors and his saviors.  They knew now, and he hadn't even had to tell them.  He didn't know if he was more relieved or upset that they knew.  He'd failed to shield them from pain again. 

Life was really rotten like that. 

It was unfortunate that Hermione was such a damn good persuader.  She probably could get him to do anything if she wanted him to.  No wonder she made such a damn fine Auror.  Everything about her was research and detail oriented, meaning she was always the one that knew everything about any case.  She could handle any situation thrown at her.  Ron on the other hand, made a good partner for her.  He grounded her.  They made a lovely couple. 

He was happy for them.  Happy that they were together.  It'd taken them long enough.  He wondered when Ron was going to ask Hermione to marry him, or was Hermione going to have to ask Ron?  He could see Hermione doing that, since really and truly--- Hermione wore the pants in the relationship.  Not that Ron minded, Ron being the youngest boy liked having someone look after him and that was what Hermione did.  Good old 'Mione. 

"Harry, this is your chance to live your life," Hermione began passionately, "the way you've always wanted.  Maybe Draco doesn't love you like a mad, crazy passionate love but he does love you in some fashion or he wouldn't be offering this for you.  Malfoys are inherently selfish and have this innate instinct of self-preservation.  You've always told me that you wanted someone to see you as Harry, and he does.  He has never seen the Boy Who Lived.  Just Harry Potter, Gryffindor, Seeker--- his arch rival and now his lover.

"And if he wants to extend your life and save it, why not?  He owes you a wizard's life.  You did save his life from Voldemort.  If it wasn't for you stepping in front of Voldemort to duel with him, he would have died.  He can't very well let you die."  Well, Hermione didn't actually know if he could since Harry had indirectly saved Draco's life, well he had saved Draco's more directly than the rest since he had stepped in.  Besides, what Harry didn't know wouldn't hurt him and it did make a strong argument.  Anything to save Harry.  "Harry please.  We're all begging.  And Draco's a strong wizard, he could keep you alive for years." 

Years.  Maybe.  Possibly.  Then again, it might only be months.  Did he really deserve this?  Was it really within his right to take this offering from Draco?  Was his life more precious than Draco's?  He couldn't answer that.  They were answering that for him.  Even Draco was willing to do this, and a Slytherin never sacrificed.  So why?  Was it possible that Draco loved him?

Did he love Draco?  No.  Well, he didn't think he did.  He'd numbed away all the emotional feelings.  It was easier dealing with the impending death that way.  He did care for the Slytherin; he didn't want Draco to die for him.  All he wanted was physical sensation and now they were forcing emotional ones on him.  He didn't know how to deal with this anymore. 

"Please Harry…"

Draco never pleaded.  Draco never begged.  That was something a Malfoy never did. 

"Why?" he asked not Hermione, not Draco--- he was asking Ron, his best friend--- his first friend.

"Because," Ron answered in an unsteady voice, "you are important to us, and we'd rather spend one more day with you than to be without you.  Any sacrifice is worth that."

"But it is his sacrifice," Harry cried out emotionally, pointing to Draco, tears streaming down his face.  "Don't you care that he's giving his life for me?"

"He's doing it from his free will," Ron responded shakily.  "And it's obvious he loves you."

"He doesn't love me!" 

"He does," Hermione murmured, reaching to hold Harry as he broke down.  "He does, Harry, he loves you.  He wouldn't do this if he didn't.  Right?"  She shot a glare at Draco that said he'd better admit it right now or else suffer the patent Granger wrath. 

"They're right," Draco admitted hoarsely.  "I love you."

~

Author's Note: This is meant to be a short novella and nothing more.  It's all raw emotion anyway.  I won't say if it ends happily or not, you read at your own discretion.  Nice cliffie eh?  I love cliffies!  Chapter 6 is NC-17 which means… it'll be posted on the mirror_of_paradox mailing list or you can wait for it to appear at Ink Stained Fingers.  More reviews means I write/update faster.

~

Thanks to Eaiva le Fay, Fabi, tati, Rings of Saturn (both are stubborn asses), icklechuck, HEDWIG, Tempest, michelle, PeachDancer82 (I try), Sulitari-Draugwen, Quickjewel. 

Wintermoon: He admitted, happy now?

Hpgryffin: Yeah, but I doubt she'd do that. 

Malfoy Snogger: Harry's always undervalued himself I think. 

Ice Lupus: No, it has to be human, sorry ;p. 

Abraxis: You'll have to wait and see, eh?  Keep salivating.