That night, as Lucius was retiring to his room he saw an owl flapping at his window. He walked over to the window and opened it. After unfolding the message attached to the owl's foot, he began to read.

Dear Mr. Malfoy,

We are writing to you today to let you know that we appreciate the years of service you've put in at the Ministry of Magic. However, lately we have noticed that you're, well, evil. As you can imagine, this caused us some difficulty. We just weren't sure what to do! After much deliberation, we finally saw the solution; it was as if it had been staring us in the face that whole time and we were only then clever enough to see it.

We're sure you're wondering where all of this is going and so we would like to enlighten you. Mr. Lucius Malfoy, you are hereby relieved of your duties at the Ministry of Magic. That is to say, you're fired.

Love,

Your friends at the Ministry of Magic

P.S. Those bars your wife brought to the annual bake sale were to die for.

As you can imagine, after reading this Lucius was livid. So what do you think he did? That's right, he went straight to Draco's room and beat him silly.

"Umm, Mr. Malfoy," said Harry, as Lucius' fist made contact with Draco's jaw for the third time that evening, "I'm standing right here."

"So?" asked Lucius.

"Well, I just thought, you know, usually people do this sort of thing in private. I just feel sort of uncomfortable, that's all."

"And I'm supposed to care?"

"No, no, I guess not," there was a pause, filled only by the sound of Lucius beating Draco, until Harry said, "So…why are you so angry?"

"I got fired," Lucius stopped hitting Draco and slumped down onto the bed, with his head in his hands and his elbows resting on his knees.

"Oh, Father, I'm so sorry," said Draco sarcastically as he wiped some blood off his lip.

"Well you should be!" cried Lucius, "What will I tell your class tomorrow?"

"I don't care at all."

"Fine!" Lucius said, raising his fist.

"Wait!" exclaimed Harry.

Lucius paused.

"Umm…all you have to do is lie about what you do for a living, they'll never know the difference. And you're evil so you should have no trouble thinking up a lie!"

"Thank you Potter, it's good to see someone care about me!"

"Well, actually I just wanted to stop you from hitting Draco."

"Thank you Potter, it's good to see someone cares about me!" Lucius repeated, menacingly before taking his leave.

"Thanks Potter, I owe you one," said Draco, grudgingly.

"Does that mean you'll sleep with me?" asked Harry, hopefully.

"I guess," said Draco and they spent the night in Harry's bed, snogging.