(Mump is on a boat wearing dark sunglasses. It is off shore approaching a 19th century style anti-aircraft deck. The boat slows down near a docking pad, and three students come to greet him.)
Three students: (Hands saluting) Good morning Commander Mump
Mump: (Nods) I expect that we are on schedule
Lead student: Well, we have been working hard all summer sir. The deck will be finished on schedule
Mump: G-Prime does not share your optomism
(Lead student and Mump stop to face each other)
Lead student: But he asks the impossible! I need more men!
Mump: Then perhaps you can tell him that when he arrives
(The three students gasp)
Lead student: G-Prime is coming here?
Mump: That is correct, and he is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress
Lead student: (straightens up) Then we shall double our efforts
Mump: I should hope so. G-Prime is not as forgiving as I am.
(Mump walks away leaving lead student shaking. Five steps later Mump falls with a high pitched screech onto the deck)
*
(Nitz is setting up the room in the exact way it was last year. He steps back to admire his work. The door bursts open)
Rocko: What the hell is this?
Nitz: Easy Rocko
Rocko: I can't believe that wad picked out the same room you were in last year
Nitz: I guess it meant a lot for him
Rocko: Where is he now?
Nitz: He's leading the floor meeting. I have to go since I'm his friend this year
Rocko: (Smiles) thats not the only reason is it?
Nitz: (Blushed) Maybe not
Rocko: Your hoping Jesse is there
Nitz: (Nods)
Rocko: (Looks up thoughtfully) She does have a nice ass
*
(Cal surrounded by a whole batch of first year girls staring at him dreamy eyed. Cal is wearing a bath robe over his signature grey kangaroo and is wearing sun glasses.)
Cal: 'Sup peeps? I'm the Calster
All the girls: (Dreamily) Hi Cal
Cal: And I'm your RA, so if your ever feeling bummed, you can come talk to me! The Calster! Yeah!
(Silence for a long period of time while Cal stands around expectantly. Nitz walks in with Rocko)
Cal: (Smiles) Nitz-guy! You made it! This is my friend Nitz and Rocko
(the crowd looks over at them uninterested)
Rocko: Ladies. I am a second year now, so if you have sex with me, you'll be cooler, or something
(The girls give Rocko angry looks. Rocko turns around and leave) Lesbians (he whispers to Nitz)
Cal: He's funny
*
(Nitz is walking around the Quad by himself)
Nitz: (To himself) Wow, nothing seems to have changed too much.
(He walks across the Quad looking exactly the same. Nitz walks across into the mess hall. He looks around for a bit, then his face brightens)
Nitz: Hey! Broedy! Kruger! Danny! (Nitz walks toward where they are sitting)
Kruger: Who the #@*! are you?
Danny: (laughs)
Broedy: Hey, the Nitza is back. I thought you weren't coming back this year.
Nitz: (Nervously) Well-I decided my-education was too important to give up now
Kruger: His $%&@! mom made him come back.
Danny: (laughs)
Nitz: (turns red) Anyways, have you guys seen Jesse since you've been back?
Broedy: Yeah, shes on the same floor this year
Nitz: Oh, me too
Kruger: *%#^ great
Nitz: Anyways, how was your summer
Broedy: I wrote a book. An autobiography of my life as a fine tuned director
Kruger: ^$%# summer. I just ^$&#% pulled a lot of &$%# with #&%^$ and some $&$^# on the weekends
Danny: (laughs)
Nitz: Right. What about you Danny.
Danny: (Stops laughing and shrugs)
Nitz: Well I better be off then. I'll see you guys around I guess
Broedy: Later Nitz
*
Rocko: Alright, it's great to be back. (Rocko throws down a huge box and an empty keg. Everyone around scrambles to get away. Craigy step forward)
Craigy: Brother Rocko. Glad to see you back.
Rocko: Aw, it's kick ass to be back. Time to get drunk and score with lots of chicks again, just like old times, hey buddy. (Rocko just out a hand)
Craigy: (Winces away from the outsretched hand) Listen Rocko, your a sophmore now, so there are a few more responibilities this year. First of all you have to show the new first years the ropes. I want you to take a group-
Rocko's view: blah blah Blah blah bla-blah blah blah-
Craigy: You got all that Rocko?
Rocko: Craigy, you can count on me.
Craigy: (smiles and walks away)
Rocko: (Grabs a hold of his keg and brings it to the stairs and begins loudly dragging it up, letting it crash every step of the way
Craigy: Oh god, what have I done
~Commercial
Three students: (Hands saluting) Good morning Commander Mump
Mump: (Nods) I expect that we are on schedule
Lead student: Well, we have been working hard all summer sir. The deck will be finished on schedule
Mump: G-Prime does not share your optomism
(Lead student and Mump stop to face each other)
Lead student: But he asks the impossible! I need more men!
Mump: Then perhaps you can tell him that when he arrives
(The three students gasp)
Lead student: G-Prime is coming here?
Mump: That is correct, and he is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress
Lead student: (straightens up) Then we shall double our efforts
Mump: I should hope so. G-Prime is not as forgiving as I am.
(Mump walks away leaving lead student shaking. Five steps later Mump falls with a high pitched screech onto the deck)
*
(Nitz is setting up the room in the exact way it was last year. He steps back to admire his work. The door bursts open)
Rocko: What the hell is this?
Nitz: Easy Rocko
Rocko: I can't believe that wad picked out the same room you were in last year
Nitz: I guess it meant a lot for him
Rocko: Where is he now?
Nitz: He's leading the floor meeting. I have to go since I'm his friend this year
Rocko: (Smiles) thats not the only reason is it?
Nitz: (Blushed) Maybe not
Rocko: Your hoping Jesse is there
Nitz: (Nods)
Rocko: (Looks up thoughtfully) She does have a nice ass
*
(Cal surrounded by a whole batch of first year girls staring at him dreamy eyed. Cal is wearing a bath robe over his signature grey kangaroo and is wearing sun glasses.)
Cal: 'Sup peeps? I'm the Calster
All the girls: (Dreamily) Hi Cal
Cal: And I'm your RA, so if your ever feeling bummed, you can come talk to me! The Calster! Yeah!
(Silence for a long period of time while Cal stands around expectantly. Nitz walks in with Rocko)
Cal: (Smiles) Nitz-guy! You made it! This is my friend Nitz and Rocko
(the crowd looks over at them uninterested)
Rocko: Ladies. I am a second year now, so if you have sex with me, you'll be cooler, or something
(The girls give Rocko angry looks. Rocko turns around and leave) Lesbians (he whispers to Nitz)
Cal: He's funny
*
(Nitz is walking around the Quad by himself)
Nitz: (To himself) Wow, nothing seems to have changed too much.
(He walks across the Quad looking exactly the same. Nitz walks across into the mess hall. He looks around for a bit, then his face brightens)
Nitz: Hey! Broedy! Kruger! Danny! (Nitz walks toward where they are sitting)
Kruger: Who the #@*! are you?
Danny: (laughs)
Broedy: Hey, the Nitza is back. I thought you weren't coming back this year.
Nitz: (Nervously) Well-I decided my-education was too important to give up now
Kruger: His $%&@! mom made him come back.
Danny: (laughs)
Nitz: (turns red) Anyways, have you guys seen Jesse since you've been back?
Broedy: Yeah, shes on the same floor this year
Nitz: Oh, me too
Kruger: *%#^ great
Nitz: Anyways, how was your summer
Broedy: I wrote a book. An autobiography of my life as a fine tuned director
Kruger: ^$%# summer. I just ^$&#% pulled a lot of &$%# with #&%^$ and some $&$^# on the weekends
Danny: (laughs)
Nitz: Right. What about you Danny.
Danny: (Stops laughing and shrugs)
Nitz: Well I better be off then. I'll see you guys around I guess
Broedy: Later Nitz
*
Rocko: Alright, it's great to be back. (Rocko throws down a huge box and an empty keg. Everyone around scrambles to get away. Craigy step forward)
Craigy: Brother Rocko. Glad to see you back.
Rocko: Aw, it's kick ass to be back. Time to get drunk and score with lots of chicks again, just like old times, hey buddy. (Rocko just out a hand)
Craigy: (Winces away from the outsretched hand) Listen Rocko, your a sophmore now, so there are a few more responibilities this year. First of all you have to show the new first years the ropes. I want you to take a group-
Rocko's view: blah blah Blah blah bla-blah blah blah-
Craigy: You got all that Rocko?
Rocko: Craigy, you can count on me.
Craigy: (smiles and walks away)
Rocko: (Grabs a hold of his keg and brings it to the stairs and begins loudly dragging it up, letting it crash every step of the way
Craigy: Oh god, what have I done
~Commercial
