When Harry woke up the next morning he was surprised to see Ron standing over him, glaring. "What is it Ron?" he asked.
"I'm angry," said the red-haired person.
"Yes, I could tell by your glaring. What's wrong?"
"I'm upset that you're sleeping in a bed with Draco and not me."
"You sleep in a room with two other people, I think it would get a bit crowded. And besides, I've been sleeping in here with Draco all week. Why did you wait 'til now to say something?"
"It never occurred to me until now."
"You're rather thick aren't you?" said Draco, waking up.
"I am not!" said Ron.
"Yes you are. You should have realized by now that Harry sleeps with me because we like to 'have a good time' together. In bed. Alone."
"Alone?" Ron asked suggestively.
"Yes," said Draco.
"Oh," Ron said dejectedly. He proceeded to leave the room, head hanging, hair drooping, ears flopping…wait no…
Anyway, when Ron was gone Harry said to Draco, "Did you have to tell him that?"
"Oh don't worry, he's so thick he probably won't even figure out what I meant. And you walked in on us…so why would it matter what he knows about?"
"I suppose you're right."
"I'm always right because I'm so fabulous."
* * *
Back at Hogwarts, at dinner…
Draco sat at his table feeling bored. He began to stare into space and was startled when Harry came up to him and said, "Hello…why do you look so startled?"
"No reason."
"I see."
"So…"
"Well, I'm going to go back to my table."
"All right."
Harry began to walk away and Crabbe turned to Draco, "What?" he asked indignantly, "Would you rather talk to him than me?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," said Draco.
"I've seen the way you've been looking at him! Like you'd rather shag him than me!"
"I would actually."
"Oh!" Crabbe gasped and then slapped Draco.
Draco stood up and looked at Crabbe coldly, "I'm sorry, Crabbe, were you under the impression that there was something between us?"
"Don't give me that! You know what's between us, the kiss we shared!"
"Shared? This is ridiculous," he turned to Harry, who had turned back to watch Crabbe's horrifying display of possession, "Potter, I'm going to sit at your table."
"Ok," said Harry and the two confused Homo Sapiens walked off to the Gryffindor table.
As they were sitting down, they tried to ignore Ron's horrified expression. This, however, became impossible when he said, "Harry, I can understand you two spending time together when Dumbledore forces you to and the 'bedroom activities' because, let's face it, Draco's a demon in the sack but, honestly, what is he doing sitting at our table?"
"Crabbe was being sort of creepy," Harry explained.
"What did he do?" asked Hermione.
"He seems to think that he and Draco are a couple and was being rather possessive."
"Oh great Potter! Just tell everyone every little embarrassing detail of my life!" said Draco sarcastically.
"Oh but Draco," Hermione gasped, "That's dreadful, Crabbe shouldn't do that! Does he have any reason at all to think you're dating?"
"Well, there was the one time when he kissed me but I was unconscious at the time and when I came to I fought him off."
"I think you should report him to Dumbledore," she said.
"Oh that's a great idea," the sarcasm returned.
"Well, why not? He'd know what to do."
"I'm sure he all ready knows all about it. Wait a minute…didn't you all ready know all about my 'busy day?' Yes…I distinctly remember, Dumbledore told you about every one I shagged."
"Well, that was so many chapters back, you can hardly expect me to remember everything that happens in this inane plot."
"True, true. Let's go back to our room, Harry, I'm bored of talking to Granger."
"Ok," said the bespectacled, quidditch-playing, butter beer drinking, frequently confused lad and off they went.
When they got to their room Draco noticed that Harry was rubbing his eye rather intensely. "Potter, what on earth are you doing?"
"I have something in my orb!"
"Your orb?" Draco choked.
"That's odd. I haven't the slightest idea why I called my eye that. Hmm, must be the weather."
"Why would it be the weather?"
"Who knows? Good night," Harry got into bed and immediately fell asleep, leaving Draco to wonder why he was going to bed so early, in his clothes, for no reason at all.
