The next morning Draco awoke to find Crabbe sitting on top of him. "Oh bloody hell!" he yelled when he figured out what was going on.

"What?" asked Crabbe, "I just wanted to make sure you're not cheating on me with Potter."

"Cheating on you? That's the stupidest thing ever! I don't even like you. I only use you to break people's legs for me and stuff like that but I don't even find that important enough to want to sleep with you."

"Draco, Draco when will you see that you're mine?"

"When I go insane."

Crabbe decided to take a slightly different, yet equally stupid, tack, "You're forgetting that I'm the only one in this school who'll even talk to you. You might as well settle for what you can get."

Draco laughed, "What, did you read a book on how to be manipulative or something?"

"Maybe…"

"I thought so, you see, only a person who's as dumb as you are would say that to me. It's wildly inaccurate and does nothing to sway me. You should know that I'm far to secure in my popularity." Draco chuckled and said, "You can go now."

Crabbe hit him on the face and watched as Draco's mirth disappeared and was replaced by an icy expression.

"I think you should leave."

"I think you should admit that you belong to me."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Leave now."

Just then Harry woke up and was surprised to see Crabbe sitting on Draco, "Crabbe, what are you doing?"

"It's none of your business."

"I don't think Draco wants you there."

"I think you should leave Draco alone to make up his own decisions."

"Fine, whatever."

"See that Draco," said Crabbe, "He doesn't care about you enough to help you! I bet you could scream as loud as you wanted and no one would come to help you."

"This is absolutely inane," said Draco.

"I agree," said Harry, "It's also quite boring, why don't you just leave, Crabbe? Draco and I have to get dressed."

"I'm not leaving."

Harry raised his wand and said, "Leavicus," and Crabbe was forced from the room. "Well, I'm glad he's gone," said Harry when the door was about three-quarters of the way shut – not that it matters, "And you call Ron thick."

"He is."

Harry thought for a moment, then, "Yeah, I suppose."

Draco smirked. "I'm going to get dressed."

"Have fun." Harry got dressed as well and then sat in a chair and said, "Oh man, I'm so bored."

"Maybe we should go down to breakfast," said Draco, coming back from the bathroom.

"Ok," said Harry and soon they were walking down the moronic, moving stairs.

"These stairs are pointless," said Draco as they waited for one to realign itself, "I mean, for Christ's sake, what do you think the founders had in mind when they built these? Did they think it would be fun?"

"I have no idea," Harry sighed, it was too early in the morning to be discussing Draco's minor grievances. Soon they reached the food eating hall (A/N: I'm still to lazy to see if that room has a name, if anyone wants to tell me what it is they can) and sat down.

Draco decided to sit at the Gryffindor table again because he didn't really feel like dealing with Crabbe again that day. However, about five minutes into breakfast, Crabbe came lumbering over to the table and slapped some guy who was talking to Draco. Although, no one knows who that person was because who at the Gryffindor table talks to Draco, besides Harry and the like? "Don't talk to my boyfriend!" he exclaimed.

"Your boyfriend?" Draco shrieked, "I'm nobody's boyfriend and I'd really appreciate it if you'd get that through your thick head eventually."

"Don't talk to me like that!" said Crabbe, slapping Draco, "I'll make you pay."

"This is absurd," said Draco, "You've got to stop going around slapping people right and left, it's just bad manners."

"I'll show you bad manners!" said Crabbe and then evidently couldn't think of anything to follow that moronic statement so he walked away.