A/N: Yui, that was sooooooooo not a good idea. (growls)Anyone who's wondering what's going on, read my bio and then read her review.
Hmmm… Then again, you gave me cookies, so…. I guess I will spare your life… this ONE time (smirks) Next time, however, you won't be so lucky (munches on the cookies) All righty, let's get-a started now! ^_^
(the first scene shows Lance sitting atop his mighty throne-like chair with the Elite Four in front of him)
Elite Four: (zombie-like voices) We must obey Master Lance… We must obey Master Lance… (they hurry about, doing various chores for "Master Lance")
~AUTHOR'S NOTE (commercial music plays)~
You know why I hate Lance so much? Simple. He fits my personality soooooooo much, that… well… I dislike him! I mean, he's got all my favorite Pokemon with the exception of Dragonite, he's the most powerful trainer (twirls her GB Lugia's Pokeball around), I mean, he even SOUNDS the same with all the champ stuff, therefore I hate him. He sounds like me too much, so I don't like 'im. I'll give you a cookie if that even started to make one little bit of sense to any of you.
~BACK TO THE FIC. THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND ATTENTION~
Will: We must- (shakes head) huh? What's going on?
Lance: Uh-oh!
Will: Lance? (he regains full control) HEY WAIT A MINUTE… (gives Lance a death glare)
Lance: Ummm… Uh…. HEY WILL! LOOK OVER THERE!
Will: Nice try.
Lance: Squeak…
Koga: (snaps out of it) Huh? Did someone squeak?
Karen: (snaps out of it as well) Not me.
Bruno: We must obey Master Lance… We must obey Master Lance…
Karen and Koga: Huh???? O_O
Will: Yup. Lance has been (DUN DUN DUN) Controlling us! (horror movie scream)
(silence)
Karen: Umm…How?
Will: Eh-heh-heh-heh… I haven't figured that out yet.
(All but Will falls over anime-style)
Lance: The answer is very simple, oh foolish Psychic one!
Will: (flatly) Oh really?
Lance: WITH THE POWER OF CHEESE! (holds up a staff. On the tip of it is a hunk of cheese)
Koga: Squeak.
Lance: Shut up! (points the rod at Koga)
Koga: (eyes glaze over) I am in your control…
Lance: Silent!
(Koga does not say anything)
Lance: Muahahahaha.
Will: Does that thing really work? (waves a hand in front of Koga's face)
Lance: Yep! (points the rod at Will)
Will: (similar effects to Koga) I am in your control…
Lance: Gooood. I command you to… (thinks) Oooh! I've got it!
Bruno: What?
Lance: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! GO JUMP IN THE LAVA IN BRUNO'S GYM! (evil laughter)
Will: WHAT? NO WAY!
Lance: NO! The power of cheese is failing! (contemplates)
Will:…Lance?
(Shhhh! He's contemplating!)
Will: Oh, okay.
Bruno: What does contemplate mean?
(To think, you moron. Now shaddap.)
Bruno: Sheesh, some people…
Lance: Ah well, maybe it doesn't work as good on Psychic People… (aims rod at Bruno) Bruno!
Bruno: I am in your control…
Lance: bwahahahaha. ACT LIKE A DUCK!
Bruno: Quack. Quack. (waddles stupidly around the gym)
(everyone but Koga stares)
Koga: I am still in your control…
Lance: Koga… umm… Eat Bruno!
Koga: (leaps at Bruno and begins chewing on his hair)
Lance: Bwahahahahaha. (aims rod at Karen)
Karen: I am in your control…
Lance: Ummm… Errrr… Ummm… (tosses Karen a marshmellow) Sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" as loud as you can while eating that marshmellow! BWAHAHAHAHA!
Karen: (eats marshmellow) Mary had a little lamb… little lamb… little lamb… (I don't want to go into details, people.)
Will: Wazzup with the marshmellow? 0_o
Lance: Maybe, just maybe, she'll be singing so hard she'll choke on it when she's eating it!
Will: 0_o
Lance: Bwahahahahahahahaha!
Will: Lance, exactly how many times have you laughed evilly like that since the start of this chapter?
Lance: …a lot.
Will: Oh, okay.
Karen: (really bad singing) …Followed her to school one day… school one day… school one day… It followed her to school one day…
(Lance and Will cover their ears)
Lance: I'm bored.
Will: (pointing out the door) Why don't you have fun with your cheese rod on the gym leaders or something?
Lance: Okay. (walks out)
(Karen, Koga, and Bruno snap out of their trances)
Bruno: Why am I flapping my arms?
Koga: Why am I eating Bruno?
Karen: Why was I singing? No wait… WHAT was I singing?
Will: Mary had a little lamb.
Karen: ?!?!?!?!?
Will: Lance's cheese rod had all of you under its spell.
All: NOW WE MUST GET REVENGE! BWAHAHAHAHA!
(Meanwhile.)
Guy on TV: Lately, local gym leaders have been seen doing miraculous things. The cause of this phenomenon is currently unknown.
(TV shows a picture of Bugsy doing the Hokey-Pokey on a thin wooden plank 5 feet above a pool of piranhas)
Bugsy: you put your right foot in, you put your right foot out, you put your right foot in aaaaand you shake it all about!
Guy on TV: Sad, isn't it.
(TV shows a picture of Clair standing out in a public area singing "I'm a Barbie girl" song [A/N: If you don't know how it goes, consider yourself lucky. When I was in third or so grade boys always used to sing that song mockingly on the bus just to annoy us girls. Living nightmare.], while balancing several loaves of bread on her head.)
Clair: I'm a Barbie girll… In a barbie worrrlddd…
Guy on TV: The source of this strange act of stupidity is being researched by many of our top specialists now.
Lance: (watching TV) Muahahahahahaha… Everyone shall come to fear Master Lance soon enough… (cackles and walks off while clutching his Cheese Rod evilly)
Mysterious Voices: STOP RIGHT THERE, EVIL VILLAIN!
Lance: Wha-?
Mysterious Voices: YOU MUST STOP THIS INSTANT!
Lance: Who are you?
Mysterious Voices: We are…
Voice #1: Cosmic Koga!
Voice #2: Bionic Bruno!
Voice #3: Wonder-Will!
Voice #4: And Catastrophic Karen!
Mysterious Voices: And we are here to end your streak of cheesy evil-ness!
Lance: Oh no!
Mysterious Voices: (step into the light to reveal that they are…)
Lance: THE ELITE FOUR!!! (gasp)
(You never would've guessed, right?)
Lance: Me and my cheese rod were almost successful in taking over the gym leaders too! : ( Wait, I controlled you once, I can do it again! (aims cheese rod at the Elites)
E4: Bwa ha ha ha! We have repelled the evil cheese with the one thing that repells evil cheese!
Lance: What repells evil cheese?
E4: GARLIC BREAD!!!
Lance: Oh, Garlic… Wait a sec, garlic BREAD???
E4: YES! (take out garlic bread and stuff it in their mouths)
Lance: …..
E4: (hurl garlic bread at Lance)
Lance: Aaaaaaaah! (runs away, leaving cheese rod powerless on the floor)
E4: (destroy cheese rod, laughing in the Champion's idiotic defeat)
Lance: ….So much for my revenge…
(That was last chapter! The Elites are getting THEIR revenge now!
Lance: …Grrrrrrrrr…
(screen fades out)
A/N: That was waaaaay weirder than I intended… o_0 I think I ate too many cookies… Wait! I take it back! You can never have too many! (eats cookies) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
