When Draco got the mirror back to the dorm, he hung it in the vacant spot on the wall. "Now I can see my self wherever I turn! Unless I look over to your side of the room." Draco finished the statement by glaring at Harry.

"Well, I'm sorry if I find it hard to be as amused by my own reflection as you are," Harry said.

"My dear Potter," said Draco mockingly, "I'm not amused by your reflection."

"Ha, ha," Harry said humorlessly.

Just then, their conversation was interrupted by someone entering the room, laughing menacingly. "Muahahaha!" said the person, "It is I, the Homicidal Hall-Walker, and I have returned…to kill you!"

"How terribly frightening," said Draco sarcastically, "I suppose you've brought a wand this time?"

"No…what's a wand?" asked the Hall-Walker with murderous intent.

"Sweet Lord," Draco said, "you're a homicidal, hall-walking muggle?"

"Er…no…?" said the unpleasant, hooded character.

Draco stared at him levelly for awhile, before saying, "Why don't you just leave?"

"I suppose I could." By now the maniac's shoulders were rather slumped.

"Oh," said Harry sympathetically, "you've made him sad. Maybe we should let him stay."

"Are you crazy?" Draco asked. "He's trying to kill us."

"Yes," Harry agreed, "but look how cute he is."

"I'm not cute!" said the Hall-Walker.

Draco laughed and said, "Perhaps I should go to class. Should I, Harry? I have no idea what time of day it is."

"Don't look at me," said Harry. "I don't know either."

"You're completely useless, do you know that?" Draco said exasperatedly.

Harry glared at him.

The Homicidal Hall-Walker began to feel uncomfortable and said, "I'd best be going."

Harry and Draco agreed that he should.

"But I warn you…" the crazed misanthrope continued, "I'll be back and my vengeance will be disturbing in its intensity!" With that, he stumbled out the door, narrowly missing a lamp.

Draco rolled his eyes and began to comb his hair. Harry began to stare blankly into space. "Harry, if you're going to stand around, you could at least find something productive to do while you're at it."

"Where did that comb come from?" asked Harry.

"What a stupid question," Draco observed.

Harry sighed angrily, "Why am I always around you?"

"How should I know?" Draco asked, "I mean, I know why I'm always around myself. It's because I'm so charming, gorgeous and generally fabulous, but you…. You've never appreciated me. Perhaps now you see how wonderful I am?"

Harry considered answering this, but quickly decided against it and went, instead, to find Ron and Hermione.

Draco went back to combing his hair, but was interrupted by the sudden arrival of Crabbe and Goyle. "What do you want?" he asked irritably.

"Where's your boyfriend, Harry?" asked Crabbe, with what he thought was amazing subtlety.

"He's not my boyfriend," said Draco calmly. "What do you want, anyway?"

"If he's not your boyfriend then why's he always around you?" asked the burly Crabbe.

"One: he's not here now, is he? And two: you and Goyle make it a point to follow me around wherever I go as well. How can I help it if I have such magnetism?"

This confused the two henchmen.

"Well?" asked Draco.

"Well what?" asked Crabbe or Goyle.

"What do you want?"

"Umm, I forgot," said…oh let's say…Goyle.

Draco sighed and gestured for the two ignoramuses to exit with a flick of his delightfully thin wrist. When they were gone he decided to experiment with eyeliner for awhile. He enjoyed it for quite some time, but after about six hours, it became astoundingly boring. In order to counter the effects of the boredom, he began to contemplate the meaninglessness of life. "Good God," he murmured, "life is so meaningless."

Just then Snape walked in, saying, "Life is only meaningless if you don't do anything that means something."

Draco looked at the Potions professor as if he had just walked in carrying a basketball.

"In a candy cane," the greasy haired man finished with a crazy grin.

"That's more like it," said Draco. "I've gotten rather used to you being completely off your gourd these past few months."

"If you'll excuse me," said Snape coldly, "I have some kangaroos to attend to in the lavatory."

Draco chuckled and then shuddered and went back to his contemplation. Soon he was insanely bored. 'Hmm,' he thought, 'maybe I should try slicking back my hair.' Then he realized what an insanely horrible idea that was; as slicked back hair really doesn't look nice on anyone.

Meanwhile, Snape was having a similar problem. He sort of wanted to make himself pretty but wasn't sure how to go about it. 'Maybe I should wash my hair,' he thought, 'no…I don't want to open that can of worms. I know! I'll start with some lipstick!' He began to apply lipstick to his horrifically thin lips. He soon realized, however, the unfortunate fact that his lips were so thin that any lipstick he put on would be invisible to everyone. "Drat!" he muttered angrily, as he began to paint on artificial lips.

At that inopportune moment, Draco happened to stumble into Snape's room. "Good Lord!" he said. "What's wrong with you, Professor?"

"I'm pretty!" said the man with hair like a mechanic's rag.

Draco sighed and shook his head sadly. "Oh, how unbelievably sad," he said. "Have you looked in a mirror?"

"No. Why? Do you think I should?"

"That's a hard question to answer," said the blonde with the un-slicked hair. "On one hand…there's a slight chance you might die if you do. But, on the other hand, if you don't, you won't realize how astoundingly horrid you look."

Snape appeared to think it over and then said, "Oh wait, I have looked in the mirror. Otherwise, the part where I was putting on makeup wouldn't make any sense."

"And you didn't attempt to take your own life?" Draco gasped.

"No, should I have?"

Draco rolled his eyes, "You're incredibly incompetent. If you had any sense, whatsoever, I would have found you in a bloody, lifeless heap," and with that, he swept out of the room. A moment later he popped back in, "Oh," he said, "I almost forgot why I came. I need an extension on the paper that's due tomorrow."

"Get out!" Snape shrieked.

"Fine," said Draco petulantly. "See if I ever come to you for help again."

"Good! I will!" Snape replied pitifully.

Draco rolled his eyes and left. Soon he found himself in class. "Class?" he muttered. "What am I—oh, right—I'm in school."