Chapter 4
A/N thank you to the few people who have reviewed, one person (oracle90) reviewed the last chapter so this is basically for her (thanks for reviewing my charmed story too). If you read the story please review. thankyou for reading it anyway but I don't know if you have if you don't review! I don't care if you don't say the story is good, just tell me you've read it!
"No, I'm not going to let you do this." Came the firm reply. "We'll work something out. There's no reason why you can't continue to command Voyager. There's nothing in the rules or protocols regarding the captain's physical ability. We can get through this together."
"Chakotay, think about it, it's not practical. What about things like first contact, away missions, problems around the ship, I can't run the ship from my bed; it's not fair on the crew."
She was still crying but not quite so distraught as before, seeing this the doctor came over and told the pair "Captain, I'm going to keep you here for a few days, but I can't see any reason why you can't carry on commanding the ship. Commander, the captain needs her rest, not to be upset, and so do you, I suggest you get some sleep too."
"Ok doc.," Chakotay walked over to the bio bed next to the captain's and lay down.
"Comman... hmmph, I give up." The doctor was about to object but then realised the pointlessness of it and satisfied himself with another "Harrummph."
The next morning Kathryn Janeway woke to see the smiling face of her first officer in a chair next to her bio bed in sickbay.
"Morning sleepyhead, how do you feel?" Kathryn started to feel the sleep fog lift from her mind.
"Errrr.. Ok I guess. Oh god, I'm.. my legs.oh god." She mumbled as she remembered yesterday's events.
"Do you want some coffee?" Chakotay asked. She nodded meekly through the sobs, which were again racking her small body. He went over to the replicator, muttered something to the computer and crossed the room again, with a cup of coffee in one hand and a cup of tea in the other, with a plate of toast balanced on his arm. As he wobbled over to the bed, trying not to spill or drop anything, the sobbing woman looked up and smiled at his feeble attempt. He put the pots down on the edge of the bed and handed her the cup of coffee. She took it and breathed in the strong aroma of the steaming black liquid, it seemed to have an outwardly calming effect. Seeing that she was serene, Chakotay said
"It's going to be ok you know. I'll always be there for you, so will the whole crew."
"How Chakotay? How? I can't command the ship from my bed. Apart from the obvious reason that it's not practical, I would have no authority over he crew!"
"Kathryn! How can you say that? The crew have the up most respect in you, not to mention their trust and loyalty. They love you Kathryn and they would obey your every order even if you were a parsnip. And I don't understand why it's not practical. Let me in Kathryn, let me help you deal with this. Before you went into surgery yesterday, do you remember what we said to each other? Did you mean it or was it just last, desperate, death bed babblings, because I meant what I said." Kathryn was shocked at his angry outburst and just sat gaping for a second.
"Chakotay, how can you say that? You know I love you. I've loved you for years. I was fool to try and bury those feelings. I'm so sorry I pushed you away all these years, played with your emotions, leading you on then pushing you a way again. I'm so sorry it took dieing to give me the courage to say it."
She took a deep, calming breath and wiped at her face, "I under stand if you can't accept me now, how could you love a cripple? I'm not a real woman anymore."
"Kathryn I would love you if you had been maimed and mutilated by a madman. I don't ever want to hear you say your not a real woman anymore, you're the most wonderful woman ever to have lived. I will always be at your side, but you have to mean it, you really do love me?"
"Yes, of course I do, I always have, I've just hidden behind protocol," She smiled as she said that but started to cry again as she said, "But I guess protocol won't be a big deal any more seen as I can't be captain, unless you have a problem with it."
"I don't have a problem with it because I'm just the first officer and always will be. No one on this crew will let you hand over command and neither will I, we can work something out."
"Lets say that the crew wouldn't be a problem then, but think about it if we're on the bridge and come under attack I won't be able to defend myself or even stop my body from bouncing around the bridge, I won't be able to go on away missions, meet new races, socialise with the crew, hell, I won't even be able to move around the ship. How can I be the captain in my state!" a new onslaught of tears racked her body. Chakotay just sat and held her for a while, holding her to him and rubbing her back.
"Kathryn, look at me, we can devise ways to keep you safe on the bridge, the captain isn't really supposed to go on away missions unless it s absolutely necessary, if and when you do want to go on them we can find ways to make it easier, and as for moving around the ship we can build mini transport systems or a wheelchair or something like that. We can talk about this all in good time."
"Oh, Chakotay, thank you, I'm so sorry it's just so much to take in. Suddenly not being able to use my legs it's just. I'm sorry you shouldn't have to deal with this."
"Kathryn, we love each other and that is what people who love each other do, we're there for one and other. I want to be here for you, just let me be there."
They both looked into the others eyes and stayed that way for several minutes, the piercing blue orbs melding with the liquid brown ones, until Chakotay said, "I'm sorry, I have to check on the bridge and I know you'll want a full report too so I'll bring you one back. I also know the crew wants to see how you're doing, they don't know every thing yet, just that you were hurt, except for the senior staff b'lanna told them last night. If you feel up to it I could arrange for some visitors to come by." He looked thoughtful for a moment and then said playfully "If you want I could even carry you round the ship!" all he got in return was a smack on the arm.
"You know, I think I would like to talk to some people. Chakotay you can tell the rest of the crew, I don't think I can and it would be best for them to know as soon as possible, it will be easier in the long run."
"Ok I will, I'll also tell them you are in full command of this vessel and don't intend on giving it up. And I won't take no for an answer. Look, I know Mirel was a upset after she heard from Tom that you were hurt, so I'll have B'Elanna bring her by; it would do you all good to talk to each other. You know you're off duty for a few days don't you?" she smiled at his tenacity about the command structure.
Chakotay left and when he arrived on the bridge he was bombarded with questions about the captain's condition. "She's actually doing quite well. She says she'll see visitors, so you may as well go by when you get a chance, but try not to wear her out too much." Harry sighed in relief; it was well known that Harry thought of Captain Janeway as a second mom.
The sickbay doors swished open and in came B'Elanna with a young Mirel Paris tightly clinging to her arm. B'Elanna walked over to the bio bed where the Captain lay and said, "Kathryn, are you ok?" she got a smile and a nod in a reply.
"Hi Mirel, are you doing ok? Chakotay said you were upset."
"Auntie K, I thought you were hurt real bad?" she replied meekly.
"Well I was but the Doctor healed most of my injuries. Come sit up here." She patted her lap and indicated for B'Elanna to lift her up, which she did. "What are they?" the young girl pointed to the IV lines that were transfusing the blood and liquid into the Captain's arms.
"They're giving me blood and fluid that I lost yesterday."
"Mommy told me a beam hit you and you got taken to sick bay and that you were hurt real bad," the young child replied sniffing as she started to cry.
"Why are you crying honey?"
"Cos, cos.. cos I thought you were dead!" she was crying fully now.
"Hey, hey, don't cry I'm right here look. Your mommy was right though I did get hurt bad. I got hit by abeam and it broke my legs!" Mirel looked shocked and tried to get off Kathryn's legs.
"Am I hurting you 'cos I'm sat on your legs?"
"No, sweetie your not. When the beam knocked me over it hit my back and it damaged it, so I can't feel my legs and I can't actually feel your weight." She said it in such a way that Mirel smiled, replacing the horrified look that was there before.
"That's my girl, go ask the doctor to explain while I talk to your mommy." She hopped down and scampered off to find the doctor.
" I'm so sorry Kathryn. It shouldn't have happened to you." B'Elanna said stepping up to the bed. Kathryn smiled.
"How do you feel about having a cripple for a commanding officer?" she teased her with a cheeky smile, but the expression faded as she continued. "How do you think the crew will react?"
"Kathryn, with all due respect I don't see how it can be an issue. You're still our captain and we will follow your orders no matter what your physical status, and if anyone has a problem with that I'll break their neck. There are no rules in the federation about the captain's ability in that field. I think there are many ways to accommodate your situation. Frankly captain, you promised us you would get us home and you still have to keep that promise." Seeing the tears rolling down her cheeks B'Elanna leaned in and hugged Kathryn tightly.
"I'm sorry, I guess I needed to hear that. Thank you."
Later that night Chakotay returned with a pad in his hand, "Here's that report I promised Captain!" he emphasised her title, still trying to prove that he was serious about her remaining in command. "How you feeling honey?"
"Well taking a shower was interesting to say the least! Now give that report here!" she demanded snatching it from his hands. Instead of reading it she paused for a minute and set the report down on her lap. Looking into his eyes she started slowly, "today when I was alone, I did some thinking about what you said concerning the command of voyager," she paused, but seeing him about to interrupt said, "Wait, you don't know what I am going to say. I was thinking that maybe me still being captain won't be such a problem. I just want you to understand that it will put more pressure on you, as first officer and close friend. Very close personal friend." she added with a smile.
"Oh thank god, I was hoping you'd say that I don't want to be Captain." Chakotay said with a sigh. "And don't worry about the extra pressure, it'll be worth it. It won't be so bad, probably be fun in fact, a few extra away missions now and then. And with you not able to do so much of the physical stuff you'll have more time for reports, and if I'm lucky I might just persuade you into doing mine." He said the last part with a wink.
Kathryn snorted and scoffed, "Fat chance, like hell I'll do your reports."
The doctor came over as he heard the snort, "I see you're feeling better captain, and teasing Commander Chakotay. Well its better than the verbal abuse you were giving me earlier!" the doctor said with a raised eyebrow. "You'll be pleased to hear that I will release you back to your quarters on the terms that someone be with you at all times and you call me if you have any pain or problems. Oh, and make sure your commbadge is within reach at all times in case you require assistance." He said with his 'I'm serious, captain' look. "I'll call for the transport." He added when she nodded with a sarcastically solemn edge to it.
"Thanks, boy am I glad to get out of here. No offence doc." Kathryn breathed a sigh of relief.
"I'll stay with her tonight doc, is there anything I need to know?" Commander Chakotay put in with the practical question.
"Just keep her comfortable and here's a few hypos if she can't sleep." The doctor told him, then thought for a second and took him to one side and added. "Umm Commander, can you keep an eye on her emotionally too. She seems to have accepted this pretty well but it was very quick. I don't think she's trying to suppress her feelings, she was expressive enough earlier and I think she's looking on the bright side, but just ask and check she's ok in there." The doctor told him seriously.
"Doctor to transporter room one, transport the captain and commander directly to her quarters." He watched as the blue tinge of the transporter beam engulfed in his commanding officers.
They reappeared in her bedroom with her on her bed and Chakotay off to the side of it. The bed and furniture in the bedroom were covered in yellow flowers.
"Chakotay what on earth?" she said pulling a rose out from behind her. He picked up a card from the bedside table and read aloud,
"To the best captain in all four quadrants, I asked everyone on the ship to send a yellow flower to your quarters if they wanted you in command. And so you don't have to count there are 152 flowers in here, so if Chakotay takes command he'll have to run the ship by himself. Love the ever-doting crew of voyager. P.S credit for this goes to B'Elanna and Mirel Paris.'
"Well it looks like the crew really want you in command. And looking at this," he held up a huge bouquet of yellow roses, "Someone either really likes you or really doesn't want me as captain. I had nothing to do with this you know. If I had the ship would be crammed stem to stern with yellow petals."
"Aww, where's my comm. badge I want to thank B'Elanna and Mirel?" she asked trying to shift in a more comfortable position on the bed. Seeing her struggle Chakotay came over and said, "Thank her tomorrow, she said was going to try and get some sleep tonight, but do you want me to help you?"
"Umm, I think you'd better, I can move my body but my legs aren't really following its lead." She said. "Could you sit me up a bit more and cross my legs? God there's a sentence I never thought I'd say, this is a bit embarrassing." Chakotay did as asked and sat down beside her.
"Don't Kathryn, I'll always be here to help you. Kathryn, are you ok in there, really ok? Please talk to me."
"I don't know, I mean just as I finally allowed you into my life and am happy, this happens. I think it's a sign you having to help me now and all that. I want you in my life Chakotay and I think that this is helping with that and I think I've accepted it, but I don't whether I have actually accepted it or am just errrr.I don't know, I just stopped feeling self pity so quickly. I think am ok with this. But if your not then I understand."
"Kathryn, I am almost insulted that you would think this could change how I feel about you. I was praying for you to let me in and prayed that you would let me help you and ok I didn't quite mean this extreme but you made me so happy that night we kissed for the first time. What about the transwarp conduit thing, we're still stuck in the Delta Quadrant? Are you ok with that?"
"Oh that didn't bother me. I'm worried about the crew, but we've been led on so many times before that I didn't expect it to work. It's not like I have a lot back on earth anyway. Some family and friends, but look at what I have here. If you ever need to talk about anything too I'll be glad to listen."
"Of course, now do you want anything? I'm going to get some tea, you should try it."
"Alright, could you run a bath and pass me that bathrobe, as long you don't mind carrying me?"
"Course not." He disappeared and she could hear the bath start to fill. She slipped her sick bay gown off and pulled her bathrobe over her front. Chakotay came back into the room took two cups of something steaming into the bathroom and the sound of the tub filling stopped as he emerged.
"You ready?" he asked.
"Yep, you sure this won't hurt your back?" a flicker of worry crossed her face.
"No, it won't, you don't weigh much anyway." He picked her up, one arm behind her knees and one behind heer back. He lowered her in to the bubble filled bath and sat down beside her.
"Temperature ok?" he asked.
"Mmm, it's perfect. Wanna get in and see." She asked with a smile and laughed at the boggled eye expression on his face. He didn't reply, "Chakotay, Chakotay you're staring!"
"Seriously?" he squeaked.
A/N I know weird place to stop but meh! Please please please please please please please please review. I need to know if there is a point in posting and updating!
A/N thank you to the few people who have reviewed, one person (oracle90) reviewed the last chapter so this is basically for her (thanks for reviewing my charmed story too). If you read the story please review. thankyou for reading it anyway but I don't know if you have if you don't review! I don't care if you don't say the story is good, just tell me you've read it!
"No, I'm not going to let you do this." Came the firm reply. "We'll work something out. There's no reason why you can't continue to command Voyager. There's nothing in the rules or protocols regarding the captain's physical ability. We can get through this together."
"Chakotay, think about it, it's not practical. What about things like first contact, away missions, problems around the ship, I can't run the ship from my bed; it's not fair on the crew."
She was still crying but not quite so distraught as before, seeing this the doctor came over and told the pair "Captain, I'm going to keep you here for a few days, but I can't see any reason why you can't carry on commanding the ship. Commander, the captain needs her rest, not to be upset, and so do you, I suggest you get some sleep too."
"Ok doc.," Chakotay walked over to the bio bed next to the captain's and lay down.
"Comman... hmmph, I give up." The doctor was about to object but then realised the pointlessness of it and satisfied himself with another "Harrummph."
The next morning Kathryn Janeway woke to see the smiling face of her first officer in a chair next to her bio bed in sickbay.
"Morning sleepyhead, how do you feel?" Kathryn started to feel the sleep fog lift from her mind.
"Errrr.. Ok I guess. Oh god, I'm.. my legs.oh god." She mumbled as she remembered yesterday's events.
"Do you want some coffee?" Chakotay asked. She nodded meekly through the sobs, which were again racking her small body. He went over to the replicator, muttered something to the computer and crossed the room again, with a cup of coffee in one hand and a cup of tea in the other, with a plate of toast balanced on his arm. As he wobbled over to the bed, trying not to spill or drop anything, the sobbing woman looked up and smiled at his feeble attempt. He put the pots down on the edge of the bed and handed her the cup of coffee. She took it and breathed in the strong aroma of the steaming black liquid, it seemed to have an outwardly calming effect. Seeing that she was serene, Chakotay said
"It's going to be ok you know. I'll always be there for you, so will the whole crew."
"How Chakotay? How? I can't command the ship from my bed. Apart from the obvious reason that it's not practical, I would have no authority over he crew!"
"Kathryn! How can you say that? The crew have the up most respect in you, not to mention their trust and loyalty. They love you Kathryn and they would obey your every order even if you were a parsnip. And I don't understand why it's not practical. Let me in Kathryn, let me help you deal with this. Before you went into surgery yesterday, do you remember what we said to each other? Did you mean it or was it just last, desperate, death bed babblings, because I meant what I said." Kathryn was shocked at his angry outburst and just sat gaping for a second.
"Chakotay, how can you say that? You know I love you. I've loved you for years. I was fool to try and bury those feelings. I'm so sorry I pushed you away all these years, played with your emotions, leading you on then pushing you a way again. I'm so sorry it took dieing to give me the courage to say it."
She took a deep, calming breath and wiped at her face, "I under stand if you can't accept me now, how could you love a cripple? I'm not a real woman anymore."
"Kathryn I would love you if you had been maimed and mutilated by a madman. I don't ever want to hear you say your not a real woman anymore, you're the most wonderful woman ever to have lived. I will always be at your side, but you have to mean it, you really do love me?"
"Yes, of course I do, I always have, I've just hidden behind protocol," She smiled as she said that but started to cry again as she said, "But I guess protocol won't be a big deal any more seen as I can't be captain, unless you have a problem with it."
"I don't have a problem with it because I'm just the first officer and always will be. No one on this crew will let you hand over command and neither will I, we can work something out."
"Lets say that the crew wouldn't be a problem then, but think about it if we're on the bridge and come under attack I won't be able to defend myself or even stop my body from bouncing around the bridge, I won't be able to go on away missions, meet new races, socialise with the crew, hell, I won't even be able to move around the ship. How can I be the captain in my state!" a new onslaught of tears racked her body. Chakotay just sat and held her for a while, holding her to him and rubbing her back.
"Kathryn, look at me, we can devise ways to keep you safe on the bridge, the captain isn't really supposed to go on away missions unless it s absolutely necessary, if and when you do want to go on them we can find ways to make it easier, and as for moving around the ship we can build mini transport systems or a wheelchair or something like that. We can talk about this all in good time."
"Oh, Chakotay, thank you, I'm so sorry it's just so much to take in. Suddenly not being able to use my legs it's just. I'm sorry you shouldn't have to deal with this."
"Kathryn, we love each other and that is what people who love each other do, we're there for one and other. I want to be here for you, just let me be there."
They both looked into the others eyes and stayed that way for several minutes, the piercing blue orbs melding with the liquid brown ones, until Chakotay said, "I'm sorry, I have to check on the bridge and I know you'll want a full report too so I'll bring you one back. I also know the crew wants to see how you're doing, they don't know every thing yet, just that you were hurt, except for the senior staff b'lanna told them last night. If you feel up to it I could arrange for some visitors to come by." He looked thoughtful for a moment and then said playfully "If you want I could even carry you round the ship!" all he got in return was a smack on the arm.
"You know, I think I would like to talk to some people. Chakotay you can tell the rest of the crew, I don't think I can and it would be best for them to know as soon as possible, it will be easier in the long run."
"Ok I will, I'll also tell them you are in full command of this vessel and don't intend on giving it up. And I won't take no for an answer. Look, I know Mirel was a upset after she heard from Tom that you were hurt, so I'll have B'Elanna bring her by; it would do you all good to talk to each other. You know you're off duty for a few days don't you?" she smiled at his tenacity about the command structure.
Chakotay left and when he arrived on the bridge he was bombarded with questions about the captain's condition. "She's actually doing quite well. She says she'll see visitors, so you may as well go by when you get a chance, but try not to wear her out too much." Harry sighed in relief; it was well known that Harry thought of Captain Janeway as a second mom.
The sickbay doors swished open and in came B'Elanna with a young Mirel Paris tightly clinging to her arm. B'Elanna walked over to the bio bed where the Captain lay and said, "Kathryn, are you ok?" she got a smile and a nod in a reply.
"Hi Mirel, are you doing ok? Chakotay said you were upset."
"Auntie K, I thought you were hurt real bad?" she replied meekly.
"Well I was but the Doctor healed most of my injuries. Come sit up here." She patted her lap and indicated for B'Elanna to lift her up, which she did. "What are they?" the young girl pointed to the IV lines that were transfusing the blood and liquid into the Captain's arms.
"They're giving me blood and fluid that I lost yesterday."
"Mommy told me a beam hit you and you got taken to sick bay and that you were hurt real bad," the young child replied sniffing as she started to cry.
"Why are you crying honey?"
"Cos, cos.. cos I thought you were dead!" she was crying fully now.
"Hey, hey, don't cry I'm right here look. Your mommy was right though I did get hurt bad. I got hit by abeam and it broke my legs!" Mirel looked shocked and tried to get off Kathryn's legs.
"Am I hurting you 'cos I'm sat on your legs?"
"No, sweetie your not. When the beam knocked me over it hit my back and it damaged it, so I can't feel my legs and I can't actually feel your weight." She said it in such a way that Mirel smiled, replacing the horrified look that was there before.
"That's my girl, go ask the doctor to explain while I talk to your mommy." She hopped down and scampered off to find the doctor.
" I'm so sorry Kathryn. It shouldn't have happened to you." B'Elanna said stepping up to the bed. Kathryn smiled.
"How do you feel about having a cripple for a commanding officer?" she teased her with a cheeky smile, but the expression faded as she continued. "How do you think the crew will react?"
"Kathryn, with all due respect I don't see how it can be an issue. You're still our captain and we will follow your orders no matter what your physical status, and if anyone has a problem with that I'll break their neck. There are no rules in the federation about the captain's ability in that field. I think there are many ways to accommodate your situation. Frankly captain, you promised us you would get us home and you still have to keep that promise." Seeing the tears rolling down her cheeks B'Elanna leaned in and hugged Kathryn tightly.
"I'm sorry, I guess I needed to hear that. Thank you."
Later that night Chakotay returned with a pad in his hand, "Here's that report I promised Captain!" he emphasised her title, still trying to prove that he was serious about her remaining in command. "How you feeling honey?"
"Well taking a shower was interesting to say the least! Now give that report here!" she demanded snatching it from his hands. Instead of reading it she paused for a minute and set the report down on her lap. Looking into his eyes she started slowly, "today when I was alone, I did some thinking about what you said concerning the command of voyager," she paused, but seeing him about to interrupt said, "Wait, you don't know what I am going to say. I was thinking that maybe me still being captain won't be such a problem. I just want you to understand that it will put more pressure on you, as first officer and close friend. Very close personal friend." she added with a smile.
"Oh thank god, I was hoping you'd say that I don't want to be Captain." Chakotay said with a sigh. "And don't worry about the extra pressure, it'll be worth it. It won't be so bad, probably be fun in fact, a few extra away missions now and then. And with you not able to do so much of the physical stuff you'll have more time for reports, and if I'm lucky I might just persuade you into doing mine." He said the last part with a wink.
Kathryn snorted and scoffed, "Fat chance, like hell I'll do your reports."
The doctor came over as he heard the snort, "I see you're feeling better captain, and teasing Commander Chakotay. Well its better than the verbal abuse you were giving me earlier!" the doctor said with a raised eyebrow. "You'll be pleased to hear that I will release you back to your quarters on the terms that someone be with you at all times and you call me if you have any pain or problems. Oh, and make sure your commbadge is within reach at all times in case you require assistance." He said with his 'I'm serious, captain' look. "I'll call for the transport." He added when she nodded with a sarcastically solemn edge to it.
"Thanks, boy am I glad to get out of here. No offence doc." Kathryn breathed a sigh of relief.
"I'll stay with her tonight doc, is there anything I need to know?" Commander Chakotay put in with the practical question.
"Just keep her comfortable and here's a few hypos if she can't sleep." The doctor told him, then thought for a second and took him to one side and added. "Umm Commander, can you keep an eye on her emotionally too. She seems to have accepted this pretty well but it was very quick. I don't think she's trying to suppress her feelings, she was expressive enough earlier and I think she's looking on the bright side, but just ask and check she's ok in there." The doctor told him seriously.
"Doctor to transporter room one, transport the captain and commander directly to her quarters." He watched as the blue tinge of the transporter beam engulfed in his commanding officers.
They reappeared in her bedroom with her on her bed and Chakotay off to the side of it. The bed and furniture in the bedroom were covered in yellow flowers.
"Chakotay what on earth?" she said pulling a rose out from behind her. He picked up a card from the bedside table and read aloud,
"To the best captain in all four quadrants, I asked everyone on the ship to send a yellow flower to your quarters if they wanted you in command. And so you don't have to count there are 152 flowers in here, so if Chakotay takes command he'll have to run the ship by himself. Love the ever-doting crew of voyager. P.S credit for this goes to B'Elanna and Mirel Paris.'
"Well it looks like the crew really want you in command. And looking at this," he held up a huge bouquet of yellow roses, "Someone either really likes you or really doesn't want me as captain. I had nothing to do with this you know. If I had the ship would be crammed stem to stern with yellow petals."
"Aww, where's my comm. badge I want to thank B'Elanna and Mirel?" she asked trying to shift in a more comfortable position on the bed. Seeing her struggle Chakotay came over and said, "Thank her tomorrow, she said was going to try and get some sleep tonight, but do you want me to help you?"
"Umm, I think you'd better, I can move my body but my legs aren't really following its lead." She said. "Could you sit me up a bit more and cross my legs? God there's a sentence I never thought I'd say, this is a bit embarrassing." Chakotay did as asked and sat down beside her.
"Don't Kathryn, I'll always be here to help you. Kathryn, are you ok in there, really ok? Please talk to me."
"I don't know, I mean just as I finally allowed you into my life and am happy, this happens. I think it's a sign you having to help me now and all that. I want you in my life Chakotay and I think that this is helping with that and I think I've accepted it, but I don't whether I have actually accepted it or am just errrr.I don't know, I just stopped feeling self pity so quickly. I think am ok with this. But if your not then I understand."
"Kathryn, I am almost insulted that you would think this could change how I feel about you. I was praying for you to let me in and prayed that you would let me help you and ok I didn't quite mean this extreme but you made me so happy that night we kissed for the first time. What about the transwarp conduit thing, we're still stuck in the Delta Quadrant? Are you ok with that?"
"Oh that didn't bother me. I'm worried about the crew, but we've been led on so many times before that I didn't expect it to work. It's not like I have a lot back on earth anyway. Some family and friends, but look at what I have here. If you ever need to talk about anything too I'll be glad to listen."
"Of course, now do you want anything? I'm going to get some tea, you should try it."
"Alright, could you run a bath and pass me that bathrobe, as long you don't mind carrying me?"
"Course not." He disappeared and she could hear the bath start to fill. She slipped her sick bay gown off and pulled her bathrobe over her front. Chakotay came back into the room took two cups of something steaming into the bathroom and the sound of the tub filling stopped as he emerged.
"You ready?" he asked.
"Yep, you sure this won't hurt your back?" a flicker of worry crossed her face.
"No, it won't, you don't weigh much anyway." He picked her up, one arm behind her knees and one behind heer back. He lowered her in to the bubble filled bath and sat down beside her.
"Temperature ok?" he asked.
"Mmm, it's perfect. Wanna get in and see." She asked with a smile and laughed at the boggled eye expression on his face. He didn't reply, "Chakotay, Chakotay you're staring!"
"Seriously?" he squeaked.
A/N I know weird place to stop but meh! Please please please please please please please please review. I need to know if there is a point in posting and updating!
