A/N: Hi! I'm TCL and I'm FINALLY THIRTEEN!!! BOOYEAH! I have been admitted into the terrible teens. On July 10th, to be precise. Now, I am officially THE minimum age requirement for most of the websites I already go to! PARTAY!
Disclaimer: Well, it's that time again!
TCL: Ahaha! The disclaimah! Who will it be today, hmmm? How about... Lesse... Already did Falco... and Lars... and Leon... and cheese... Oh, I know! Why don't we bring in Sheen Gulvera Estevez, from Jimmy Neutron?
(POOF! Sheen materializes on-stage)
Sheen: Wow! Bright lights! Many colors! (outstretches his arms as if flying) Look, I can fly- just like Ultralord!
TCL: Ah yes... Hello Sheen. Don't ask questions. Just read aloud from this thing. (hands Sheen a copy of THA SCRIPT. Tremble in its mysterious power, I command you.)
Sheen: Ok... let's see (reads the script) TCL dun't own Pokemon, or me, or anyone used in previous disclaimers. (gives script back to TCL) Ultralord wants to ask you why I just did that.
TCL: I SAID DON'T ASK QUESTIONS! (zaps him back to whence he came)
~*~
(We focus in one someone... A main character so unfairly neglected in the past two episodes in which he made no public appearance...)
(Bruno wakes up)
Bruno: (recalls events from "Ode to Bruno") Aiyeee ;_; (hides under his pillow and utters a pitiful whimper) Life is so unfair...
(Bruno is lying facedown in his "bed" constructed of twigs and straw as he inhales a huge cloud of dust from somewhere in that big mass)
Bruno: (continues to whimper)
(Little does Bruno know, a mysterious form watches him from the shadows)
Bruno: (looks up immediately) Who's there?
Mysterious form watching from the shadows: I am the wish granter of Albenestrenorabia. I have come to cure you from your sorrows.
Bruno: (Squeals) Goody! (normal voice) Ahem. Do I get three wishes?
MFWFTS: No. Just one.
Bruno: Hmmm... What is a permanent thing I can do to get rid of all this suffering... (thinks)
(Now, if Bruno had any brain at all, he could've made either made TCL disintegrate into oblivion, made TCL's computer disintegrate into oblivion, or just escaped the whole fic altogether. But, hey, they don't call him no-brain Bruno for nuttin')
Bruno: (imaginary lightbulb appears above head) I'VE GOT IT! (exclaims happily) I SHALL VENTURE INTO TCL'S BRAIN!
MFWFTS: ...Whatever. (snaps his fingers)
Bruno: Huh? (looks down. His feet are vanishing into dust, and his knees begin the same process) AAAAAAH!
(within several seconds, Bruno is completely dissolved. The mysterious guy somehow warps Bruno into TCL's brain, making Bruno incredibly tiny of course)
Person in audience: TCL has a BRAIN!?
(...Surprising I know........ HEY, WAITTA MINUTE!)
Person in audience: ...Don't hurt me...
(Grr... I DID say Bruno was incredibly tiny, all right?)
Bruno: (looks around) THIS is TCL'S BRAIN?
(Bruno surveys the scene. TCL's brain is really just a big mass of cobwebs, random brain cells running about and sweeping the floor... to no avail I might add... and chocolate stains on the walls)
Bruno: (shudders) This place is a mess. Now, let's see... In order to end my suffering, I just have to make TCL my biggest fan. That way she will never ever hurt me. (sobs) It's so BRILLIANT. I wish I had thought of it before!
(Bruno wanders about aimlessly, opening random drawers and searching various papers of memories in TCL's incredibly dirty and unused brain)
Bruno: Lesse... Here's TCL's memory of (squints) March 23 last year. And here's one for February the 12th, six years ago. And here's... (stares) ...TCL's history book? No wonder she can't find it.
(A/N: I paid 45 dollars and 90 cents to pay off that thing. Owch)
(Suddenly, Bruno looks up and screams)
Bruno: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(For Bruno has just stumbled upon a gigantic, six by six foot poster of him being mauled by TCL and other authors)
Bruno: IT BURNS! (covers his eyes)
(Bruno opens another drawer. He pulls out a sheet of paper representing a memory/ability)
Bruno: wow... It's TCL's memory of how to open jars. Well... who said I can't mess with her abilities just a bit? (laughs evilly and rips the paper to shreds)
(after scrounging around a bit more, Bruno finally finds a whole drawer, filled to the brim with various memories and abilities)
Bruno: (looking through the 'interesting' pile, trying to find Well, let's see... TCL's entire memory of the sixth grade... Nah... TCL's ability to juggle... nope... TCL's entire memory of a book she read in kindergarten... HERE WE ARE! A sheet of paper labeled TCL's opinions of Bruno. (takes it out and looks at it)
TCL HATES BRUNO'S GUTS
STIMULUS: SIGHT OF BRUNO
RESPONSE: DISGUST COMBINED WITH A LONGING TO BEAT HIM UP
STIMULUS: MENTION OF THE NAME 'BRUNO'
RESPONSE: DISGUST AND POSSIBLE SHUDDERING
STIMULUS: SMELL OF BRUNO
RESPONSE: DISGUST, IRRITABILITY
STIMULUS: SOUND OF BRUNO'S VOICE
RESPONSE: DISGUST, INABILITY TO GET ALONG WITH OTHERS
Bruno: Well, I guess I disgust her. Let's see... (messes with it)
TCL IS BRUNO'S BIGGEST FAN
STIMULUS: SIGHT OF BRUNO
RESPONSE: SWOONING AND HAPPINESS
STIMULUS: MENTION OF THE NAME 'BRUNO'
RESPONSE: EXCITEMENT AND HAPPINESS
STIMULUS: SMELL OF BRUNO
RESPONSE: MUCH INHALING AND HAPPINESS
STIMULUS: SOUND OF BRUNO'S VOICE
RESPONSE: CALMING AND HAPPINESS
Bruno: There we go! (puts it back in the drawer, along with all the other files he took out) That should be enough! ^^
(As Bruno turns to leave, he sees something else that catches his eye)
Bruno: Hmmm... That looks like TCL's opinion of Will and Karen! (evil grin) Time to have a little fun!
~*~*~
(CUT TO AUTHORS)
(Yui is running around, panting, screaming something about the apocalypse)
(PyroVulpix is taking TCL's temperature, then shaking his head, puzzled)
PV: She seems perfectly normal to me.
Yui: NORMAL!??! Obsessing over pictures of Bruno is NORMAL? TCL NEEDS THERAPY! CALL 911!
Lccorp2: I'm on it!
(Lc runs over to the phone and dials)
Lccorp2: Hullo? Operator? Could you get me the nearest hospital? Huh? ...Mental or physical? I dunno...? Maybe both!
Yui: Definitely mental. There is much panicking to be done here! TCL! Can you hear me?
TCL: (hisses and pushes everyone away) I told y'all, I'm perfectly normal. I'm allowed to be fan, aren't I? Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go mercilessly bash Will and Karen. Good-bye, fellow authors.
(she leaves the room. Silence.)
Yui: Did I hear that correctly?
PV: Pinch me.
Lccorp2: She's snapped. Help help.
Dawn: Hey! Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?
PV: Depends. Are you thinking about getting some cheese nips?
Dawn: No, but... If TCL's gone mad, we can take over her studio!
PV: Oh.
Lccorp2: Oh goody! A raid!
~*~*
~ELSEWHERE~
TCL: (in chains and ragged slave-like clothes) OH GREAT BRUNO! (bows) Whatever else can I do to please you???
Bruno: (sitting high upon a throne) Bring Will and Karen before me!
TCL: (by her amazing author powers) Done!
(Will and Karen materialize out of nowhere)
Karen: Huh? (sees TCL) Hey Crimson! (sees Bruno) Do we get to help you destroy Bruno?
TCL: On the contraire.
Bruno: Now, ELIMINATE THEM! (cackles maniacally)
Narrator: Will the two Elites escape a terrible doom?
~*~*~
(Will and Karen are chained to the ground. Above them is a guillotine- with broccoli and celery and other assorted fruits and veggies as the blades)
Will: Well, Karen, I guess this is the end. (holds out his hand) I'm gonna miss ya, buddy.
Karen: (grabs his hand and shakes it) Nice knowing ya. I wonder what's gotten into TCL? She's treating Bruno like a king.
TCL: MUAHAHAHAHA! So, Will and Karen... this is the time of your doom. Any last words?
Karen: Yes. (to Bruno) I hate your guts.
Will: Me too. (to Karen) I ate that last chocolate bar I said I would save for you.
Karen: (shrieks) WHAAAT?!
TCL: Ok, time's up. Goodbye... Will and Karen.
(The assorted healthy things of the guillotine hurtle down to the ground at amazing speeds... But just when W&K are about to meet their end...)
~*~*~*~*~
BEEEEEP! BEEEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEP!
Bruno: (sits up in bed, panting heavily) Wha-wha-whaaat? What happened? (looks around the room. His gaze rests on his alarm clock) Oh, dagnabbit. It was just a wonderful dream. Well, time to go back to my abusing life.
(suddenly, the door opens, and Will and Karen walk in, with menacing looks on their faces)
Bruno: Oh, hi guys. What's up?
(Will and Karen both punch Bruno hard in the mouth)
Will: You know what that was for.
Karen: (suddenly smacks Will) And that's for eating the last chocolate bar.
Will: Dang.
(they leave)
(Bruno sits there, in silence)
Bruno: I'm just going to forget that ever happened. (he lays his head back down on his pillow and rests for a little while longer)
A/N: Two more chapters! The countdown is on! The end is near!
