A/N: in my revision taking place now, I feel a need to replace my Another's Note, considering that the past note isn't relevant now. Given, 22 pages of Word is still quite a feat, but it'll probably be less after I've reworked and edited it. I'm almost done with the final revision!
Before Perfection
by The Great Red Dragon
Chapter 29
Wet. Water. Wet water...
Nice. Warm. Sun. Nice, warm sun...
The sun on my back as I lay submerged in the water…
I retrieved consciousness in darkness.
Was I dreaming? Am I even conscious?
I tried to open my eyes, but nothing happened.
"Let me wake up!"
I struggled through the everblack, trying hard to fight my way into reality. I was kicking and flailing my arms and legs, wanting to see the sun that had felt so good against my damp fur before…but something pushed me back down, held me in place, and restricted my movement. I opened my mouth in a frustrated whine that sounded more like a sob, and I cried pitifully;
"I wanted to wake up, I want to wake up…"
But something, whatever it was, was keeping me from doing so. I couldn't see, I didn't know what was going on...and I thought the fight, as well as my life, was over.
But then...I felt myself being lifted up.
Was I going to Heaven?
I felt warm, I felt good…but then...this overpowering wave of sadness rushed into my subconscious, like a large wave falling onto the beach.
Then, unexpectedly, something else flowed through me. It started with a taste in my mouth, on my tongue, and spread quickly throughout my body. It was warm, yet cold - like lightning.
I still felt the sadness...but I also felt life returning to me. I knew that I wasn't dead; I was coming back...
I could open my eyes...
"Why won't you?", my mind asked me, and I replied quietly;
"Nobody asked me..."
"Well, check it out", my mind insisted, and I agreed;
"Alright, then..."
It took a few seconds for my senses to realign...
When my sight cleared, I knew that it was night. The room that I was in was lighted, but it was definitely dark outside; I could sense it. I had been in this room before...I knew I had been I this very house before. I recognized the scent, and the texture of the furniture.
Another scent came to me, and it was even more familiar. Even through all of the painkillers and drowsy-makers that I felt in my system, I could recognize it, no matter what.
I opened my eyes wider, beyond the slits that they had been before, and looked up…I saw Riley's face.
He was holding my body against his tightly...and he was crying.
His eyes were squeezed shut, he was holding me close, and his tears were falling onto my face. I realized it - his tears had awoken me. I had felt his tears on my fur, in my eyes, and in my mouth.
They were the gift of life.
I lifted my head and gently placed a hand on his chest.
"Riley...?"
He opened his eyes, and looked down at me. His eyes shone with tears, and his chin quivered as he spoke, with tears sliding off of his chin;
"Auron...Auron…"
He looked at me, and his eyes threatened that he was close to breaking down completely.
I raised a clawed finger to his cheek and stemmed the continuing flow of his tears.
"Don't cry, Riley…"
He nodded slowly, and wiped at his nose with a shaking hand. I took his in mine and squeezed it gently;
"Riley…you're cold…"
Then, simultaneously, we wrapped each other in a tight hug.
I put my arms around Riley's neck and my face into his shoulder. I was crying now, too, and Riley enveloped me in such an embrace that I thought he would never release. I felt his arms around my back, his lips against my neck...and I felt safe once more. I felt warm, I felt good…and, despite my uncontrollable tears, I felt content, for the first time that I could remember in a long time.
"Auron...", Riley sobbed into my fur, so deep that I could feel it on my skin.
"I...I th-thought that I'd lost you…I thought you were..."
"It's alright", I sobbed in reply, trying to restrain my crying, but breaking down almost immediately after trying.
"I'm here...I'm okay...its okay, Riley."
I felt him nod to my words, and I heard his sobs of pain, relief, worry, and happiness. Now, I hugged him with my lower arms as well, leaving both of us with the greatest feeling of all...we felt together.
We both knew that it was over, and we had both made it through. Yes, it was over…the danger had passed, and we had made it through together.
I nuzzled his neck and smiled relaxedly through my tears.
"Yes", I thought joyously.
"It's finally over. Thank God."
The pressure strap on my upper arm inflated and went loose again; seems as if everything was normal.
Dr. Hartrum snapped it off with a look of satisfaction and I rubbed my arm instinctively.
"Everything seems in order", he stated importantly.
The doctor had come in soon after I had regained consciousness, and I had instinctively silenced myself. It was only when Riley quietly told me that I had been blabbing in my sleep and that he had confessed to my being an alien, I felt somewhat relieved and dropped my guise by saying loudly;
"Well, that's enough of that. Now that I can talk openly, doctor, I'd like to be the first to tell you that I hated being called 'Snuggle Ball'."
The doctor almost went crazy with excitement.
In his defense, I'll admit that he was very formal afterwards, when he ran the tests on me. On the account that I wanted to talk about anything, and exercise my newly-given right of being able speak openly, I began commenting on the high quality of the sheets and blanket of the bed I was on, and how kind it was of Dr. Hartrum to be inspecting me at this ungodly hour; what an admirable and devoted individual.
I could feel his desire to break out with a million questions, but, maybe due to a request of Riley's, he kept very quiet from then on, only asking questions when needed to ("Does this hurt?").
Now, he put his stethoscope around his neck, and just stood there, staring at me with some kind of joyous awe.
Feeling the uneasiness in me, Riley smiled at him and asked;
"Doctor, could we please have some time alone?"
Hartrum nodded hurriedly, seemingly startled at Riley's request, as if he had been in trance.
"Yes, yes, of course", and answered quickly, and made for the door.
Knowing him, I feared for a moment that he would turn back around and come at me, but he stayed true to his word, and with some noticeable disappointment at not being able to spend more time with the alien, he shut the door behind himself respectfully.
I grinned as I turned at Riley;
"Great guy, huh? If it weren't for his need to touch me all the time…"
But Riley had that sad, faraway look in his eyes again, as if something was wrong. He was looking in the opposite direction, as if something off in the distance had caught his attention.
Gently, I reached over and put my hand over his.
"Riley, its okay", I told him earnestly.
"I'm okay...it's over."
As if snapping out of a dream, Riley blinked twice, and he smiled at me again.
"You're right", he said, almost embarrassed at his little phase-out.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry", I told him, sitting up and leaning against a pillow.
"Instead, tell me what happened."
Riley looked surprised at my request, as if he had found a problem in logic;
"…You mean you don't remember?"
I tugged at my right ear gently and shook my head;
"I can remember fighting with the Predator after you came and got Lara...and then I blew up the ship."
"That was you?", Riley said in sudden awe and disbelief; he came closer and sat down on the bed.
"How'd you do it?"
"Yeah, hard to believe, huh?", I said, with a tiny hint of sarcasm, before going on impatiently;
"I threw a grenade into the main reactor…but then what happened? I can't remember anything after that!"
Riley looked distant for a moment, then cleared his throat in an orderly fashion, and I leaned in.
"Well...", he began slowly.
"I carried Lara out of the jungle...and I could see you-"
"You could see me?", I asked, interrupting him.
"How could you see me?"
"Well, the ship at least", Riley explained.
"I dropped Lara on a bench and followed you to the beach, until I couldn't go any further. And then, I saw as the ship blew up. It exploded about two or three miles out to sea, and I thought that you were…"
He trailed off and looked close to tears again…but continued without my aid.
"I saw the ship blow up, and so did everybody else…the explosion was tremendous; the entire city probably heard it. It was all over the news, and people were screaming when they heard the explosion…they thought a plane had crashed, or something."
"Other people saw it?!", I almost shouted in alarm.
"They saw the ship?! Oh God…well, did they find any of it? What happened?!"
Riley shook his head, and replied simply;
"Nothing happened…no one found it."
I was kinda confused at his response; how do you not find an S-1 after it's fallen from the sky?
"…They didn't find anything at all?", I asked slowly, before further inquiring;
"How's that possible?"
"After the explosion", Riley explained.
"The coast guard and some volunteers got into boats and were ready to investigate the area...but then, this storm came from out of no where."
Riley closed his eyes and actually shuddered.
"I'm telling you, the skies turned black, and the ocean turned into an actual monster. Thirty-foot waves, Auron! They were starting to evacuate people, because it was starting to look like a real hurricane! After seeing that…I felt sure that you were…"
He swallowed…but continued resolutely;
"The storm lasted all day and all night...in the morning, the city was a real mess; you'll probably notice people still cleaning up, later. I went out to the shore to look around, and there were men gathering up for another trip out to the ocean. I went down to the coral caves, to be alone...and I found you."
"You found me?", I asked in surprise.
I realized that I obviously had to have been found to have woken up at Dr. Hartrum's house…but to be washed up like a victim of a shipwreck (I'll admit, that kinda was the case)? Something didn't seem right…how was it possible?
"I thought I was supposed to sink in water! My molecular density's too great to keep me afloat!"
"I guess otherwise", Riley said with a small shrug of his shoulders.
"You were lying on a rock, barely breathing...and I found you, and carried you all the way to the Dr. Hartrum…that was on Sunday."
I blinked hard;
"It 'was' Sunday?...what day is it today?"
Riley looked at an electrical clock next to my bed, and replied casually;
"It just turned into Thursday."
I looked on in disbelief, and laid back in exasperation. Riley simply nodded with a small smile;
"We all thought that you might've gone into a coma, until you started talking. With all of your injuries, it's amazing that you're doing so well right now."
For the first time, I noticed that I was wrapped in a considerable amount of bandages. I had been so involved with other feelings and emotions that I had not noticed it before…and now, I felt kinda silly; I looked nothing short of a mummy!
"How bad was it?", I asked with amusement.
Riley sighed and got up. He walked over to a nearby table and picked up a clipboard, and began to read out the extent of my injuries as he came back over and sat back down.
"A sprained spine, three broken fingers...", he began.
"A broken left shoulder, a right dislocated knee, a concussion, a dislocated jaw, both kidneys ruptured, two broken wrists, two herniated discs, five notable cuts over your body, a puncture in your right lung, two missing teeth, a broken foot, and an almighty burn in your left shoulder that Dr. Hartrum spent over four hours mending...and you swallowed about a half-gallon of water."
I whooped proudly, because I had just outdone my expectations of what I could physically withstand. I tried to pump my fist into the air, but an instantaneous pang of threatening ache in my shoulder told me not to do so.
Riley put the clipboard down and smiled;
"You started to heal up after you started moving...damn, how do you do it that fast? Your teeth have already grown back, and most of your bones have healed!"
I shrugged innocently and ran my long tongue along my teeth playfully;
"I drink my milk."
Riley snorted and laughed…even though it wasn't all that funny. I didn't care, though; it was nice to see him happy.
I laid myself back onto my pillow and stared at the ceiling. I rested my bandaged shoulder carefully on the edge of the pillow and straightened out my knee; there was a brace on it.
"How's Lara?", I asked tentatively, hoping for the best.
"She's okay", Riley answered without hesitation, and I was relieved of my worry.
"She woke up the next morning...she was as sick as a horse, but she didn't remember anything that happened. She thought she had drank too much…forgive me for supporting that story, okay?"
"No worries", I said with a smile and a nod.
"I'm glad she's okay."
Riley nodded, and I thought of a more sensitive question.
"…How'd Rebecca take it?"
By the way Riley sighed, I figured that the answer wouldn't be anything like 'without a problem, Auron'.
"Well, she was glad that Lara was back...", he started off slowly.
"But when I told her that you would be gone for a while, she started crying, and…didn't really stop until I found you."
I shifted guiltily in my position and asked further;
"…How's she now? Where is she?"
"At home", Riley answered.
"She can't understand why you wouldn't wake up...she doesn't know that you can talk, either."
Again, I stared at the ceiling uneasily, but this time, a strange feeling of uneasiness came onto me.
"I wanna go home, Riley", I told him, anxiously.
"I wanna go home right now."
"I don't think that's a good idea", he told me.
"Your knee isn't fully healed yet...Dr. Hartrum's gonna fit you with a different brace tomorrow."
"I don't care", I whined.
"I don't like this bed, I don't like this room, I don't like this smell, and I don't like these bandages..."
Riley sat down next to me. I expected a rebuke, even if just a small one, but instead, he stroked my head gently and looked at me sympathetically.
"I know you do", he said understandingly.
"But I'm gonna stay here with you, and I'm sure that we'll have Dr. Hartrum's permission to leave very soon…maybe even tomorrow. Can you survive for that long?"
I screwed up my face pathetically, but it was just for fun. I knew I wouldn't be staying for long, and the night would be bearable if Riley, as he said, would stay with me.
I gave a slight purr, and nuzzled Riley's hand as he petted me. He laughed, and I felt like jumping up to wrestle with him a bit…but once more, my injuries admonished me not to do some, so I just lay back and felt more content than before.
The door opened, and we turned our heads to see the doctor come in. His excited glance came my way, and I waved merrily at him with my good arm, just to make him happy. After a second, we finally managed to avert his happy attention away from me, and turned towards Riley.
"My apologies if I interrupted you", he began, his eyes flitting back towards me every other second.
"But I would think that he-...that Auron should perhaps go back to sleep now."
I couldn't help but notice that his smile widened in a silly way when he said my name.
"Why?", Riley asked in surprise.
"I mean…I know he needs rest, doctor, but can't he stay up a little longer?"
I giggled - Riley was debating my bedtime, and I found this very funny.
"Well", the doctor began, turning towards me.
"The prescriptions I gave him...well, the drugs really shouldn't be fought against. If I knew he would be awake, I wouldn't have given him as much, but he should turn in if there is any drowsiness."
I might've considered this nonsense, but it didn't matter. After all, the doctor knew best (even if he was scatterbrained), and I had to start repaying my debt to him in some way…might as well start by following his advice, even just for one night.
Riley looked at me, and nodded as he looked back at Hartrum. He went on to tell him that he would be staying the night as well.
"Oh!", Dr. Hartrum said in surprise.
"Well, in that case, there are spare sheets underneath the bed...and that couch over there is a pull-out futon."
Riley nodded with a smile;
"Thank you, Dr. Hartrum."
The doctor nodded and looked back at me with a grin that I leniently returned, and he left us to our privacy, exiting the room with a noticeable spring in his step. I was afraid that he'd be sitting outside of the door throughout the remainder of the night.
Riley closed the door and turned to me.
"Forget the couch", he said, and clicked the light off.
He climbed into bed next to me, taking special precaution of my many injuries, and I snuggled up against him warmly. Riley put his arms around me and held me comfortably against his chest, and I couldn't help but purr a bit more.
" 'Night, buddy", he whispered, and I nodded with a smile.
"Good night, Riley...sleep tight."
Riley settled himself down and relaxed. Before long, his breathing relaxed completely and I knew he was asleep. I could feel the rising and falling of his chest against me, and his arms became limp over me (although still providing me with the same amount of warmth).
I stared into the darkness for a long time. Outside, I felt a small windstorm building up.
In a way, I was rejoicing (not because of the windstorm); I had done what I was to do. I had saved Riley's family and stopped the threat from ever coming back. Not only that, but I had also survived the ordeal. I had proved stronger than my superhuman adversary, and my reward would be a life free of Predators and filled with family.
This feeling of triumph and warmth, and the knowing of what lay ahead of me was wonderful…but it wasn't long before something else was chipping at my mind. It was a nagging irritation that I tried to turn away from, but when I finally did confront it, it opened up and blossomed like a dangerous flower.
What were people all over the island thinking? Did they believe that they saw an alien spaceship explode and crash into the ocean? Or would they believe a strained-logic explanation, that might consist of a foreign plane of some sort crashing into the ocean?
I didn't really matter…they would, in either case, search for the craft, and I doubted that it would stay hidden. Worse yet, when it was found, would they suspect extraterrestrial involvement? Would they think that this was an alien craft, and think that there were aliens on the planet? Would they begin searching for me?
Worse yet…would only humans be searching for me?
It was with uneasy thoughts in my mind that I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
The next morning, I sat on the edge of a silver operating table while Dr. Hartrum fiddled around my right leg with a new brace (he had to reach right down into the children's sizes to find something that fit me). Riley stood next to me and watched as the doctor screwed and poked around, apparently interested beyond a medical level; if he didn't hurry up, I'd tell him to stop stalling.
Finally, the doctor stood up and wiped his glasses on his shirt.
"Alright then", he said as he put the specs back on his face, and looked down expectantly at me.
"Let's see how that feels."
I'll admit that I was a bit wary of trying it out; when I had woken up that morning, my knee hadn't hurt at all, so naturally, I had tried to walk, and that turned out to be a bad decision (it had hurt like Hell).
But this time, nothing happened. With the post of the table as my support, I climbed down carefully found that I could comfortably support my weight without any pain. I began walking around a bit, followed by the eyes of Riley and Dr. Hartrum, and there was no pain at all.
"Cool!", I commented with true enthusiasm.
"How long will I have to keep this on?"
Dr. Hartrum scratched his chin and sought through his med-schooled brain for a safe estimate.
"Well...", he said slowly.
"I'd suggest you keep it on for at least a week. After that, you could check if it's healed yet. I'd suggest longer if you were…well, human, but you seem to heal faster than anything I've ever seen before. If you'd like, you could come in to take it off, and we can run some official tests…"
I nodded politely, cutting him off somewhat. I did not, however, attempt to appear rude, and rewarded him with a compliment that I figured he would treasure forever;
"Thanks, Doc."
He nodded with a smile, and I noticed that his eyes seemed to be brimming with tears of happiness.
"You're most welcome...Auron."
I accepted a balloon before Riley and I left, and waved to Hartrum as we drove away in Riley's car.
He can be a little irritating, and his love for the strange and unusual is equivalent to that of a child's…but really, Dr. Hartrum is a great guy who I'm proud to consider my friend.
In the car, once we were a safe distance from Hartrum's house, I pulled off my remaining bandages; I didn't need them anymore. Riley saw me struggling and chuckled before offering;
"You need any help?"
I snorted and replied;
"Hell, I beat up a Predator and blew up one of the best ships in the galaxy...these things still seem to be beyond handling, however."
We talked and laughed some more as Riley drove through town, and I looked out of the window to observe the last remnants of the (big) storm's damage. Most everything seemed to be cleaned up, but I noticed several buildings missing pieces of roof-tile, and sheets of plastic covering broken window panes that were yet to be replaced.
Once Riley, pulled up towards his house, I gave a loud, excited cheer and jump around a bit in my seat, squealing happily;
"Home! Home! Home!"
Riley showed me a bemused smile, and said to me, in playful sarcasm;
"Welcome to your castle, your Majesty."
I didn't wait for him to open the door after we had parked - I jumped out and began to make my way up the many stairs…but at once, I noticed that with a braced leg, this wasn't as easy as it had once been.
"Wait!", Riley called out from behind me, and hurried up next to me.
"You're not supposed to climb stairs!"
"Why not?", I protested, even though I knew damn well why not.
"Your leg's not strong enough yet!", Riley answered.
"You really shouldn't put any weight on it besides walking…I'm supposed to carry you up the stairs."
"Bull! I'll decide what my leg is capable of!", I replied stubbornly, and made another feeble attempt to climb up.
Riley sighed exhaustively, and stepped even closer to me. Before I could object, he had scooped me up in his arms, and he carried me the distance up the stairs and placed me down reverently in front of the front door.
"There ya go!"
"Thanks", I replied dully, giving him a harmless punch on the leg, although very grateful to him for carrying me.
Riley inserted the key into the keyhole, turned it, and clicked the door open. I was the first to step inside.
"I'm home!", Riley called out.
In an unusual fashion, he was greeted only with silence. No Rebecca running happily down the stairs to greet him, no Lara coming up to ask him for money, and no Auron tearing across the scene with a Predator chasing him.
Seriously, it struck me as strange; usually, Riley's house was bright and lively…now, it looked nothing short of dull and sad. Even the lights were turned off.
Riley looked down at me, and smiled apologetically.
"They don't know I'm bringing you home", he told me.
"Rebecca's been pretty beat up about this whole thing…but she'll be more than happy to see you."
I nodded, and switched on the light; all the darkness was starting to bother me.
"Can I go see her?"
Riley nodded in agreement;
"Yes…that'd probably be the best thing to do. She definitely needs to be cheered up."
He led the way to the stairs and lifted me up again. He carried me up to the top floor, flipping on light switches all the way, and let me back down. It was so quiet that I could've heard light emitting from the lamps being switched on; silence was not natural for the Kivanna household.
The as we passed Lara's once-unoccupied room, we took noticed that the door was closed.
"She's probably still resting", Riley guessed.
"She's been pretty sick since...well, you know what. I was kinda worried, but she's seen a doctor, too. It's not much more than the flu; she's already gotten much better."
We passed the closed door, and moved on to Rebecca's room. The door was opened only a few feet, and we peeked inside.
Rebecca was sitting quietly in the center of her room, combing the hair of one of her plastic horses.
In a deepening sadness that burned my heart, she looked very miserable...more so, because of me. I felt my heart sink about two feet.
Riley made to open the door and announce us, but I put a hand on his leg and shook my head. I indicated to myself, and he nodded.
Soundlessly, I entered the room and crept up behind her. A smile broke my lips in anticipation for her surprise to come as I neared her and sat down right behind her. I was close enough to peek over her shoulder, and it looked like she was trying to find a scrunchie to match her horse's mane. Helpfully, I lifted up a silver-lined article and held it out to her as if to ask 'is this what you're looking for?'.
Rebecca gasped as she saw my protruding arm, and spun around.
"Auron!"
Faster than a snake on strike, a jackrabbit on a date, and a fall off the turnbuckle, she enveloped me in a big hug, almost enough to hurt anybody weaker than myself. I smiled and returned the embrace tenderly, petting her back and licking at her face to let her know for sure that this was no dream; I really was back.
When she finally let go, Rebecca looked as if she had tears in her eyes...but I think they were happy tears. She took my hands into hers, and looked at me with a combination of past-worry and great relief.
"Auron, where've you been? I was scared!"
Then, she caught sight of my leg brace, and this spawned some increased worry in her.
"What happened to you?", she asked in concern, immediately reaching down to gently feel the brace and the fur around it.
She looked at Riley, who had just entered the room, with as much worry as before.
"Riley, what happened to Auron?", she asked.
I heard him sigh behind me, and I knew what he meant to do…and I felt that it was time, too. The charade was over.
"I think...I think that we have some explaining to do", he said.
I felt Riley's hand on my shoulder, and I nodded pre-emptively.
I turned around to glance him, and gave him a look that read;
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
Riley nodded, at the same time asking me if I was ready, too. I nodded once more, displaying my verdict. It was time to come out of the closet.
"What do you mean?", Rebecca asked in confusion.
"What happened?"
This time, it was me to sigh, and for the first time, I spoke in front of Rebecca.
"I think...", I said aloud.
"I think that I have something to tell you."
Rebecca wasn't the only person to gasp – from behind, we heard a scream that made Riley jump. There was a loud thump, as Lara lay unconscious on the floor; she had fainted.
Even then, I couldn't suppress a smile – thank God my opening statement hadn't been a song, huh?
In the following week, life returned to normal in Riley's household. That is, normal if you've got a talking alien that you thought before was a dog living with you.
Oh sure, there were some changes, but altogether, not too severe.
Riley and I had decided that it was time to share my true 'identity' with the rest of the family, and we hoped for the best that things would turn out okay. In honest, the secret wouldn't have held forever anyway; it just wouldn't have. And I hoped that if we came clean now, and explained to Rebecca and Lara the importance of keeping my secret safe, we could walk out unscathed.
And guess what? Life turned better than ever!
Rebecca and Lara (after she woke up) received the news very well, and were surprisingly quick to catch onto the concept that I was intelligent and no longer a mute, unidentified creature, and that I wanted to be treated like a member of the family, and not like an alien. It couldn't have gone smoother – either this news didn't phase them too much, or they were doing a very good job at hiding gawking eyes. Already by nighttime was Rebecca conversing with me openly as if I were her best friend, and Lara had the courage to ask me if the aliens really did kidnap Elvis.
From there on, things went as smoothly as butter on toast (nice comparison, huh?).
Rebecca and I spent even more time together, playing around with her toys, conversing naturally and friendlily about anything and everything. I was adored by her even more than before (if possible), and it was not uncommon for me to spend much of the day playing with her in her room (Riley often joined us).
I think Riley felt as relieved as I did that we no longer had to carry out conversations in the private or at night, after everybody had fallen asleep. We would watch professional wrestling on TV, have arm-wrestling matches when we got bored, and pretty much went on being as best of buddies as was possible. I'd alternate between sleeping in Rebecca's bed and his…occasionally, Rebecca would come over and sleep in Riley's bed as well if I were there…and it truly was a harmonious feeling.
My relationship improved with Lara, as well. Gone were the awkward looks, the insults, and the need to step out of the way whenever she came down the hall. I never became as great of friends with her as I did with Riley, but the greatest gift that she could give me was to accept me as a member of the family, and she did. I'm glad that I saved her…now that we're on good terms, she puts a certain aura into life that made Riley's family complete – the puzzle was whole once more, with an extra addition to cause some trouble (just playing).
Harmony returned to Riley and his family, and most of their dysfunction began to cease. Riley began to work regularly at the pet shelter, and he would sometimes take me with to help out (I couldn't work in view of the other employees, but helped feed the animals with Riley, and even made friends with that mutt named Bruno – that lick across the face must've been a mark of friendship, by dog standards).
Lara swore to quit drinking and smoking (she had no other choice; along with Rebecca, I'd creep out at night and get rid of every cigarette and beer bottle in the house), and she too began to search for a part-time job (part-time, so she could be home to watch Rebecca). Rebecca, who had seemed almost somber during the bad times, went back to being a happy, healthy child. She would go out and make friends easily, and I thought that it was very good for her. She returned to kindergarten, and often came home with paintings and models of clay horses to divide between Riley, Lara, and me. Her nightmares seemed to disappear, and she was no longer afraid of the posters of the Dragon in Riley's room; in fact, she once commented that the Dragon wasn't wearing any pants and had a big butt (an observation that caused Riley and me to snort with laughter).
Then, of course, there was me. I was always seemed to be given a little more special attention than anybody else…especially in the evenings, when everybody would gather in the living room and I'd tell them stories about my life in the lab, my space travel, and my fight with the Pred. They'd all listen intently, as if I were a wise man in the market streets of old India.
I actually became part of the family, in more ways than just conventional - I'd eat at the table with everybody else, help out around the house, and engaged in the argument about what to watch on TV. In addition, after listening to some of Riley's bedtime stories for Rebecca (she seemed a little less enthusiastic about them, after my thrilling recalls of my past life), I developed a liking for literature and began to read fluently. I searched the house for books and read whenever I had privacy – to this day, my favorite book is a moderate science-fiction novel by Robert Westall called 'The Devil on the Road'.
When it was nice out, we'd go out to the park, where I would attract a fair amount of stares. Sometimes we'd have a picnic, or we'd travel down to the ocean and go for a swim. Now that I knew that I could swim without putting myself in danger, I became quite adept at it, and I took great pleasure in drifting underwater towards an unsuspecting stranger, and gently nipping their calves or ankles (I'm telling you, you've never heard of so many people screaming "SHARK!!!" in all of your life). I would laugh at my mischief, but Riley would sometimes scold me after the beach had to be evacuated.
And we took pictures. Oh, did we ever take pictures! We had albums full of nothing but family pictures from the beach, the park, the backyard, inside of the house, and every other place you could think of. We became photo-junkies, and Riley would often go out of his way to pick up a new roll of film for his camera.
Not only did we have photo albums, but we would look through them frequently, as well (admit it – when's the last time you've looked at your family's photo albums?); not one of these albums sat around and collected dust.
I think everybody in Riley's family has the ability to relive memories by simply seeing pictures of a time. It felt good to glance over photos of good times, and remember the great time that was shared…at least that's how it was for me…it helped me forget the bad times. Jumba and the Predator would never leave my memories completely…but by having a loving family and photo albums to look through, these two evil entities that I had battled and freed myself from became a smaller and smaller portion of space in my memory.
My life was wonderful. It was better than I could have ever imagined at any time. I had a family, friends, and love. I had a roof over my head, good food to eat, and a bed to sleep in. I had people who I could trust, friends who cared about me, and a family that I was part of.
Some people who were born into that environment take it for granted. I was created in a lab and had the hate of many. Now, I didn't ever take what I had for granted.
I loved what and who I had, and I never wanted to give it away.
But...things were to change very, very soon.
One morning, I woke up with my leg feeling almost completely healed; I could move it around freely and painlessly after I had taken the brace off.
In panic, I ran to the stairs and threw myself down them, not bothering to shield my body from the damage it surely as was sustaining. After I managed to sit up, along with a cut lip and a bruise on my arm, my knee felt like Hell – it might've even been broken again. Satisfied, I hobbled back up the stairs and strapped the brace back around my knee – I had bought myself some more time.
A week later, my leg seemed fine yet again. I ran into the empty kitchen, took a wooden baking mallet from the drawer below the refrigerator, and beat my knee until I was sure it was broken again. Through the searing, throbbing pain, I felt relieved.
I had been dreading my leg healing ever since I had returned home from Dr. Hartrum. I didn't want my leg to be healed ever again. I would've preferred a crippled leg to a strong, healthy leg that was persistently rearing its unwanted head.
You're probably wondering why on Earth this was my will - why in the Hell I was willingly beating on my body, specifically, my injured knee.
Well, after I had committed my self-injuries, and while I sat around with a large icepack wrapped around my aching knee, I asked myself the same question;
"Why the Hell are you doing this, you stupid fool?"
When I asked myself this, my mind returned to the showdown with the Predator, and I remembered what he had said: he had told me that he had found the course I had taken with the latest technology…but he had found me on Earth by luck.
The next time, I was sure, wouldn't be luck.
Surely by now, Jumba or somebody else knew where I was. They must know I was on Earth; the Predator must've relayed some information before he was blown up. After all, I was the bounty. He hadn't openly admitted to be working for Jumba, but who else would he be working for? Jumba wanted me back, for whatever reasons, and he had sent the Predator to come and retrieve me. Even though I had destroyed the first bounty hunter, I'd be foolish to think that he had been the last.
You should understand fully that I was not worried about my own safety: after defeating the Pred, I felt very confident in my fighting ability. I wouldn't make the mistakes I made the last time, and I'd have the advantage for sure.
But I was…I was worried about my family.
Suppose the next bounty hunter would come after them. Suppose he would go further than the Predator had done, and put my family at greater risk. Suppose something happened to my family…it would all be my fault.
Even if I also defeated that bounty hunter, and the next, and the next, and the next, I would be nothing without my family, and they would always be at risk. Even if I managed to travel all the way back to Turo and destroy Jumba, the one was bringing all this down on me, I would be nothing without my family, and I never ever wanted them to be at risk.
I was scared that I would lose them - that I would lose them to the darkness like in Rebecca's dream about Lara: in a darkness that even I was rendered blind in, and I'd never find them again.
I didn't want that. I didn't want them hurt, or taken away. I didn't want to think about it, but the nagging turned into downright burning. To this day, I wonder if I was exaggerating myself…but, then again, how much can you exaggerate when there's potential risk threatening your family?
I couldn't have anything bad happening to any of them…not to Lara, not to Rebecca, and not to Riley. Not ever to my family.
If I wasn't with them, they wouldn't be hurt. If I was somewhere else when the next bounty hunter came, he'd come my way, and not theirs. They'd be safe, while I took care of matters.
I couldn't be sure to guarantee them safety if I stayed in Mana…I'd have to go somewhere else, somewhere where nobody innocent could get hurt, especially my family.
I would have to go away, and leave my family.
…But that's what I was afraid of, and that's I made myself incapable of leaving the house alone, by hurting my knee over and over again. I was afraid of leaving them, as much as I was afraid of them getting hurt…but I had spoken my verdict.
Now, the only problem was following it through.
Late one night, while everyone was sleeping, I sat downstairs in the kitchen, and felt the last twitches and pains leave my leg. Once again, it was as good as new. I sighed sadly to myself, and looked up from my can over soda. Tonight, I was not going to fall down any stairs, or beat myself with heavy objects, or anything else. I had already dragged out my stay for almost a month on self-inflicted injuries…I had bought myself nearly a month in Heaven by giving myself Hell.
But tonight...the Hell that mixed with Heaven would end, and the real Hell, uncut, would begin.
Slowly, I began to slump out of the kitchen and into the hall, dragging my broken leg brace behind me I had to fight myself terribly not to break the brace itself to enforce my oncoming decision. As I moved upstairs sluggishly, I prayed for some monster to come out and bludgeon my leg yet again, blessing me with more time to stay…but, as you can probably guess, no monster appeared, and before I knew it, I was at the top of the stairs and already walking through the hall.
The light in Riley's room was still on. I stepped inside, found him sitting on his bed, leaning over a magazine. He turned his head when I opened the door.
"Auron?", he said in surprise, closng his magazine.
"You're still up?"
"Yeah...", I answered quietly, and stood plainly in the doorway.
He looked at my bare, good knee and smiled in surprise, and exclaimed;
"Your leg's healed! That's great!..."
Riley's face changed into a look of confused worry - he knew when something was up with me.
"Auron…what's wrong?", he asked me quietly.
I sighed and came over to the side of his bed, and he lifted me up into his lap, pushing the magazine out of the way with his foot.I now sat in front of him, with my head downed in detectable misery.
"What's wrong, Auron?", he repeated, trying to meet his eyes with mine.
I turned my head away and opened my mouth twice before any sound came out.
"I...I...", I began quietly, thinking of a way to explain this to Riley, but nothing came to me.
I felt his hand close around mine…I wished he wouldn't.
Finally, I looked up, and into his eyes, and gently pulled my hand out of his.
"Riley...", I began again.
"I…tomorrow…I have to…"
"What?...you have to what?", he asked.
I breathed deeply, and tried hard to keep my eyes focused on his as I spoke.
"Tomorrow...", I said, with a noticeable shake in my voice.
"Tomorrow...I'm going to leave."
Riley looked at me in silence. I couldn't take that look he gave me, so I put my head down again, and thought;
"Shit, this isn't gonna go through well…"
"...What?", he managed after a short while, and I wished that I had more time to think before I felt obligated to reply.
"You probably won't understand", I continued silently.
"But...I have to go. I have to…its necessary."
Riley looked even more confused than before, in a way that he was trying to decide whether or not this was a joke.
"…No, you don't", he said to me after a moment.
"You don't have to leave, Auron…why would you say such a thing?"
"I do", I said, trying to sound even the least bit determined, but a big tear in my throat choked me.
"I have to leave."
Riley took my hand again and squeezed it harder than before.
"No, you don't", he insisted, almost firmly.
I pulled my hand away again and turned away, crawling out of his lap.
Part of me was angry - angry at Riley for not taking it like he should've; why couldn't he just roll with the damn fact?
…But the other side was freezing me with sadness.
After a moment, I felt Riley come closer to me, very gently. He was approaching me cautiously, as if he had sense my slight spurt of anger.
"Auron...", he pleaded.
"I don't understand...please tell me what's going on."
I turned back towards his way, and this time, I took his hand in mind. I held it, and squeezed it as tenderly and as reassuringly as I could.
"…I'm afraid", I admitted soflty.
"I'm afraid…that something's gonna happen."
"What do you mean?", Riley asked, before continuing;
"Nothing's going to happen! We're safe now!"
I shook my head woefully, and tried hard to come up with something to say that would clear the air immediately – something that Riley could understand and accept for the best.
"Riley…I…"
I sighed again, realizing that there was no way to give this to him harmlessly…not to somebody who loved me this much.
I finally looked up, and I was determined to keep my eyes on his. I was so close to crying, but I blatantly ordered myself not to. I spoke, and it was with noticeable renewed determination.
"Do you…do you remember the Predator, Riley?", I asked him.
"Yeah...", Riley answered, nodding his head and wondering where I was going with this.
"He was going to kill me", I continued.
"Before the ship exploded, he was going to kill me - he was going to tear me apart, burn me, and destroy me. I knew it. He hated me so damn much that he didn't even care about the bounty anymore – he just wanted to crush the life out of me."
I sat in silence for a moment before continuing to Riley, who now looked quite scared about what I was saying.
"But…I don't want that to happen to you. I can't afford to let that happen to any member of my family…do you understand?"
Of course he couldn't understand – he just sat there and looked anxious and worried.
Before he could ask, however, I went on;
"When the Predator took Lara, he put her in a hibernation cell, and she wasn't hurt at all. Nobody was hurt, and I'm more than grateful for that…but I realized that…that it might not be that way next time."
This time, Riley beat me to the word.
"What do you mean?", he interrupted, before repeating;
"What do you mean with 'the next time'?"
Tears began to form in my eyes, but I blinked them away harshly – I'm not gonna cry, goddammit!
"I don't think that he was the last", I laid out simply, and Riley looked on in question.
"You mean...you think there's another one coming?", he asked, and I nodded in assent.
"I think so…more will come; I'm sure of it. If there's money being given for my retrieval, I'd think that there's a fine few number of people out there who'd be willing to come to Earth."
Riley blinked, then puffed himself up. He was trying to act brave, and his impression of courage was enough to lift me for a moment.
"Well...we'll beat him too!", he said.
"We'll do better than we did the last time...I mean, we have experience now, right? We'll know how to handle the situation better this time, and it'll be easy! We can do it, you and me!"
He tried to laugh, and I tried not to cry.
"We're a team, Auron!", he continued.
"We can beat anybody together, because we're a team, and we'd never lose!"
"I don't want anybody to get hurt", I whispered softly, as my head began to turn into an anvil.
"Nobody's going to get hurt!", Riley insisted, putting his hands on my shoulders.
"We'll get him before he even sees us! I don't care if it's more than one! I don't care if it's a hundred! We can do it together, Auron! I know we can!"
A tear broke past my eyelids and fell onto the bed sheet.
"Riley...please-", was all I managed before he interrupted me.
"We've still got the weapons!", he exclaimed.
"We know how to fight, and I know that we can beat anybody who comes at us! You've got the physical prowess, and I'll be right next to you – like the tag team champions of the world, remember? It would work!"
As he went on and on, the stone on my heart grew heavier and rockier, and the weight of my head grew as if it were an expanding water balloon. It hurt more every second, with every sound Riley made, and after a while, I just couldn't take it anymore.
"Riley-"
"We can protect Lara and Rebecca, Auron! We're strong enough!"
"Riley-"
"We even know where more weapons are kept! If we wanted to-"
"Riley! Listen to me!-…"
His name had come out of my mouth in what was more than a sob than a shout. The tears were now evident in my face, and they were beginning to appear in Riley's eyes as well.
At once, I think that he knew all along about what was coming. He had seen it coming too – he had foreseen the threat that I had been grueling over, but, like me, was trying to play it off for however long he could, or simply wanted to keep on believing that it wouldn't happen. I wanted to believe the same…but my conscious and fear of my family drove me to realization of what had to be done. Riley had been driven to realization by now, too…but in his case, it was me shouting at him, while silently conveying what I would inevitably have to do…and it hurt him as much as it was hurting me.
"I have to", I told him quietly, and I began shaking as a sudden rush of cold came over me.
"I have to go..."
"B-but Auron!", Riley said in a tone of desperation.
"I mean, uh, well, what if we, I...you don't have to go away!"
I shook my head tearfully, and hugged myself tight, as I tried to fight away the cold…but this was impossible, as I knew where it was coming from.
"I'm sorry...I'm really sorry..."
At this, Riley grabbed my arm roughly. In ordinary circumstances, I would've been surprised, or even have instinctively grabbed his hand and pushed it off…but now, I remained still and unmoving. If Riley wanted to grab me, hit me, kick me, or otherwise beat me up, I would not retaliate…for I would also know where his punches would be coming from.
"No!", he said loudly, defiantly.
"I'm not going to let you!"
I tried to gently pull my hand back, but he held on tightly.
"You're not going!", he said again.
"I'm not going to let you go! I'm not going to let you go, dammit!"
He bent his head and gripped my arm with his other hand as well, as if mustering up the strength needed to restrain me...but nothing happened. His grip stayed tight, and his head stayed down. The rising and falling of his back showed silent yet heavy breathing…and ever so slowly, his grip began to weaken, as if all of his strength was being sapped away from him.
He was shaking like me, now.
Carefully, I reached out and tenderly raised his head up with one hand, and found him crying even more than I was. His face was wet, and now that he had been exposed, sobbed openly as he grabbed my hand desperately and pleadingly.
"Please...please don't", he choked, barely audible.
"Don't go...don't leave me, Auron…I love you! Rebecca and Lara love you, too! I love you most of all! Don't-!...please don't…leave me…"
Now, my tears came anew as well, as wet and as lengthy as Riley's. I put my arms around him and hugged him tight, while I felt his tears fall onto my body. My own tears were wetting his t-shirt, and each tear hurt like a thousand stabs in my heart. I held him tight, and he held me back, eventually, all while whispering in a tone of sad desperation;
"Please no…I love you so much…don't…go…"
I was in a situation where I would be taking a path that I didn't want. Then again, the other path wasn't desirable either. On one hand, there was my family, who loved me as one of their own, whom I wanted to spend the rest of my existence with…and on the other hand, there lay a path that would lead me away from them for an untold amount of time. On such a simple scale, it'd be easy to choose…but I had to consider what was the case – I couldn't put my family at risk and in danger by staying in their presence. But leaving them…seemed more than my heart was capable of enduring. I considered death a kinder fate, than to be alive, but to not be able to see the ones whom I loved so dearly, whom I had fought so desperately to be a part of.
There's a phrase that goes, 'there's no easy way out'...and I think that I could have used it then, in my situation. I don't believe that I have to explain it...I guess its pretty self-explanatory, huh?
Quite simply, there was no easy way out for me - there never was, never had been, and there probably never will be. My life, recorded in these pages and paragraphs through my own inspiration, was tainted by that single knowing in my mind that I would never truly find peace. I was born to be a fighter, and in a way, Jumba had been successful in inflicting a curse on me – there was no repree for fighters. There was no easy way out, and it was guaranteed that there never ever would be. Fate turns a cruel eye on me, for whatever reason, and I'm left at a major crossroads.
Of all the crossroads in my life, this one had the sharpest turn. It was so sharp that it cut me wide open, and left me bleeding while I continued on my trail. At that point, I could only hope that my wound would heal...although I was sure that this turn would leave a scar, and it would be greater than any other scar that I already possessed.
A/N: alrighty – refined and partially-retyped, I average to close to fourteen-and-a-half pages on Word. Still a pretty cool number, when you consider the major revision I undertook. Two more entries to go…then I am done with this revision and can finally rest (not that I don't like revising – quite the contrary!)
A/N: make that four-and-a-half pages, when modified to 'Web'-style…
