Rated: PG-13 because Legolas was misbehaving
Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the computer, characters are not mine except the mysterious host. All the characters just broke in my already disturbed minds and this is the outcome...
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LEGALLY (FAKE) BLONDE - PART 2
starring the Malfoy duo, Elven peaches, spicy Spike, some honorable celebrities and many many more...
**************************
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(STILL imagining some annoying corny music playing with big happy blond family chanting around some dish or car or pet food or shampoo or whatever...)
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"Hello and welcome back! It's the second group answering the questions! Here we have Draco, Haldir, Shakira, Spike and bleached guy from Scooby doo. A warm welcome to you all."
They all waved to the camera.
"So Draco, answer this question - about which of these people are Professor Snape's fantasies about?"
"Ehm," Draco gulped.
"A - Kate Winslet B - Hugh Grant C - Sean Connery D - Pamela Anderson?"
"Maybe B - Hugh Grant?" Draco was guessing.
"Wrong, mate, it's Kate Winslet, but you are sooo gey," the host smiled. "Handsome Haldy is next - tell me, Haldy, why did Anakin Skywalker turn to the dark side?" that question took Haldir the wise by surprise.
Haldir mouthed to Legolas :"Who the fuck is Anakin guy?"
"Could it be
A - because he couldn't divorce B - because he liked name Darth better C - because he liked to mask himself D - because Lucas said so?"
Haldir said: "That's not fair! The question is too demanding!"
The host with yellow hair nodded :"OK, then do the trick - you have to dance to the 'You can leave your hat on' song instead!"
"I would love to!" Haldir beamed and jumped on the table.
He knew how to dance a striptease for sure!
"Full Monty!" Shakira, Draco and Fred were screaming and whistling. Spike smacked himself to wake up from this gross nightmare but it didn't help. Buff and Brit ran from behind the stage followed by Legolas and Carter dressed in a hurry still a little breathless and formed a circle around the elven striptease.
Luc Malfoy sat down near Spike who offered him a generous sip from his second bottle of fine Irish whisky.
"We are ruined! My only son is gey and proud of that! It's all the elves fault! They had started it - damned wooden hippies!" Luc started to cry his black heart out and Spike felt sorry for the old fart from the evilness of his heart.
"Get a grip, mate!" he said to the sobbing Malfoy when one of the jury - that Timberlake horror tried to join Haldy on his table but Sauron O'neeye and Dick threw him out of the hall.
The party got hotter and hotter, now Spike and Luc drunk singing ;
"Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go Haldy
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Jim Bean like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a fuck
It's not your birthday!
You can find me in da club, bottle full of blood
Look Buffi you got the stick if you into stabbing vamps
I'm into having sex, I ain't into sipping blood
So come give me a neck if you into getting rubbed..."
and then Luc Malfoy started his :
"So pureblood but so in awe
Such a saint but such a whore
So self aware so full of shit
I'm contemplating thinking about 'my son's gey' It's overrated I'll just get another drink and
Watch Haldy come undone
(come undone)
They're selling wands and caldrons in the street
(come undone)
I pray that when Draco's coming down they'll be asleep
(come undone)
If I ever hurt him his revenge was so bitter
Because he's scum, but he's my son,
and Haldy comes undone and Haldy comes undone...."
The host had left the party, not sure who won the prize - so she decided that you, dear readers should vote and tell who is according to your honorable opinion "The most stupid fake blond of the year 2003".
Thanks!
Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the computer, characters are not mine except the mysterious host. All the characters just broke in my already disturbed minds and this is the outcome...
**********************************************************************
LEGALLY (FAKE) BLONDE - PART 2
starring the Malfoy duo, Elven peaches, spicy Spike, some honorable celebrities and many many more...
**************************
***********************************************************************
(STILL imagining some annoying corny music playing with big happy blond family chanting around some dish or car or pet food or shampoo or whatever...)
***********************************************************************
"Hello and welcome back! It's the second group answering the questions! Here we have Draco, Haldir, Shakira, Spike and bleached guy from Scooby doo. A warm welcome to you all."
They all waved to the camera.
"So Draco, answer this question - about which of these people are Professor Snape's fantasies about?"
"Ehm," Draco gulped.
"A - Kate Winslet B - Hugh Grant C - Sean Connery D - Pamela Anderson?"
"Maybe B - Hugh Grant?" Draco was guessing.
"Wrong, mate, it's Kate Winslet, but you are sooo gey," the host smiled. "Handsome Haldy is next - tell me, Haldy, why did Anakin Skywalker turn to the dark side?" that question took Haldir the wise by surprise.
Haldir mouthed to Legolas :"Who the fuck is Anakin guy?"
"Could it be
A - because he couldn't divorce B - because he liked name Darth better C - because he liked to mask himself D - because Lucas said so?"
Haldir said: "That's not fair! The question is too demanding!"
The host with yellow hair nodded :"OK, then do the trick - you have to dance to the 'You can leave your hat on' song instead!"
"I would love to!" Haldir beamed and jumped on the table.
He knew how to dance a striptease for sure!
"Full Monty!" Shakira, Draco and Fred were screaming and whistling. Spike smacked himself to wake up from this gross nightmare but it didn't help. Buff and Brit ran from behind the stage followed by Legolas and Carter dressed in a hurry still a little breathless and formed a circle around the elven striptease.
Luc Malfoy sat down near Spike who offered him a generous sip from his second bottle of fine Irish whisky.
"We are ruined! My only son is gey and proud of that! It's all the elves fault! They had started it - damned wooden hippies!" Luc started to cry his black heart out and Spike felt sorry for the old fart from the evilness of his heart.
"Get a grip, mate!" he said to the sobbing Malfoy when one of the jury - that Timberlake horror tried to join Haldy on his table but Sauron O'neeye and Dick threw him out of the hall.
The party got hotter and hotter, now Spike and Luc drunk singing ;
"Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go Haldy
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Jim Bean like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a fuck
It's not your birthday!
You can find me in da club, bottle full of blood
Look Buffi you got the stick if you into stabbing vamps
I'm into having sex, I ain't into sipping blood
So come give me a neck if you into getting rubbed..."
and then Luc Malfoy started his :
"So pureblood but so in awe
Such a saint but such a whore
So self aware so full of shit
I'm contemplating thinking about 'my son's gey' It's overrated I'll just get another drink and
Watch Haldy come undone
(come undone)
They're selling wands and caldrons in the street
(come undone)
I pray that when Draco's coming down they'll be asleep
(come undone)
If I ever hurt him his revenge was so bitter
Because he's scum, but he's my son,
and Haldy comes undone and Haldy comes undone...."
The host had left the party, not sure who won the prize - so she decided that you, dear readers should vote and tell who is according to your honorable opinion "The most stupid fake blond of the year 2003".
Thanks!
