Title: A Love Lost, A Love Found

warnings: male x male

disclaimers: not mine, savvy?

Chapter 6

Sirius leaned his head against the stone walls of the exterior of the Astronomy Tower, taking a long drag from his fag. It was raining and he didn't even care that the droplets were plastering his hair to his soaked jumper. The fag was nearly being distinguished of its light as the downpour became harder. It was nearing night too but he didn't notice.

Remus hated him. His beautiful, intelligent, dutiful Remus knew the truth. Sirius cursed his raging hormones under his breath. He hadn't even cared until he had that first taste of sex from Flint. After that it became an addiction that he was hooked on. There was only so much Remus's mouth and his own hand could do to and even then, that rush of orgasm from copulation was so much more blissful. Being taken and having his prostrate pounded into over and over again or taking another and filling that tight orifice....

Sirius sighed. He loved Remus. He truly did. Remus was like a breath of air once the rain cleared and the mists parted to reveal a refreshing day full of sun rays. Remus was Sirius's constant reminder that he was alive and all that pain he took from his home was balanced by Remus's deep love for him and vice versa. Now what did he have? Guilt, sorrow, and intense fury.

He knew that it had been Snape. Who else would have told Remus something like that and after what he'd just witnessed in the Potions Classroom? Snape most definitely had ulterior motives. There had been lust in his eyes and something else that looked like the beginnings of love. Sirius angrily smashed the fag underneath his boot. He wouldn't allow Snape the chance to ~love~ Remus but it would take time to exact his revenge on Snape.

Sirius rose to his feet and shook himself of the water; much as he did when in the guise of Padfoot. Remus was probably going to stay mad at him for a while and Sirius was determined to do everything in his power to make it up to him, to remain friends. Sirius wrapped his arms around his lithe body and listlessly walked back to the entrance.

James knew now. He would be giving Sirius a lecture and Merlin knew what Peter might do. After being hexed by the oddly protective boy, Sirius had steered clear of him. Sirius smirked. Maybe Peter had some of his own yearnings for Mr.Moony. The smirk grew grim. Yet Peter knew better than to invest in Remus when Remus had made it perfectly clear that he loved Sirius.

Sirius rounded the corner, nearly colliding with his cousin, Narcissa. "What where you're going." Sirius glared at her. The sight of the Slytherin added to his temper, especially when the blond hair reminded him of Lucius Malfoy.

"Aww, " Narcissa tutted, circling Sirius predatorily. "What's the matter Sirius? Sad about that pathetic worm breaking up with you?" Sirius's jaw muscles clenched and fists tightened. He didnt give a damn if she was his cousin and a girl. Narcissa sneered. "You got what you deserved. Ooh, Mummy will be happy about that, won't she?" Narcissa asked in a baby voice. "Finally getting rid of that poor filth."

"Shut up!" Sirius snarled, about to take a swing at Narcissa when his fist was blocked by Rosier. "Stay the fuck out of this Rosier!"

"As a Black, I expected you had more respect towards your family." Evan wrapped an arm around Narcissa's thin shoulders. "But you're the... Black Sheep, eh?" He snickered before focusing his attention on Narcissa. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No. Where's Lucius and Bella? I thought we were going-"

They vanished around a corner and Sirius regained his hectic emotions. He didn't want to go home for holidays. The only reasons he bothered was that his young cousin, Nymphadora, would be visiting. Other than that, Sirius would have ran away. To where? He didn't know but anywhere was better than his abusive family; verbal and physical.

~* ~ * ~

Remus stretched himself out onto his bed, eyes flickering towards James. "Jamie, you've been avoiding me. Is it because of the fact that I know about you and Malfoy or the fact that I was.....was cuddling with Severus?"

James shut his book and shoved it underneath his bed. He sank next to Remus. "Moony, I....I wish you had told me about Sirius. That he was hurting you." James gestured to the huge bruise, finger tips gentle on the blemish. "I could have stepped in and you wouldn't even of had to latch onto Snape!"

Remus shoved James off, visage contemplative and annoyed. "He cheated on me, James! Merlin knows! I SMELLED IT ON HIM!" Quiet, studious Remus snapped. James immediately went on the defensive. It was rare that Remus's full anger escalated. "I hadn't put two and two together until Severus told me about Flint. I hate this Jamie," Remus whispered brokenly as two saline drops streaked his cheeks.

James pulled his werewolf friend into his arms. "Remus. I know that you're confused but do you honestly hate Sirius enough to forget about these past years you've spent with him?" Remus shook his head, words deserting him. "Then dont! Damnit Remus, Sirius has enough to deal with than being seperated from you!"

Remus sniffled, wiping his eyes and staring into James's blue ones. "But he hurt me James. You know how much trust and honesty means to me. I know that his home life is awful but I just can't welcome him into my arms again. I will be his friend, forever, because that's what we were before we discovered our attraction."

"That's all I ask. He can't deal with life without us. He acts strong and I'd never tell him otherwise but to be the outcast of his family?" James shook his head. "I couldn't begin to imagine. Even your parents cared about you once you were bitten by that werewolf." James carressed Remus's prematurely greying hair. Though it was only a few strands it was enough to remind James that Remus aged faster than normal. That was evident in Remus's wisdom and maturity.

"How about you and Malfoy? How'd that happen?" Remus asked, changing the subject. He kept his head buried against James's shoulder, purring from the hands playing with his hair.

"Simply put; rivalry brings about love. During third year, Lucius thought he could get and upperhand on me by kissing me unawares against the broomshed." James blushed. "We...we kind of had sex too." Remus chuckled. "Be quiet. You lost your virginity when you were twelve, precocious bitch."

"Continue instead of insulting me of being a pervert."

"Touche. Anyway, after that we met up for shags and nothing real progressed until fourth year. Lucius and I went on a date on my suggestion and we found out we had a lot of things in common. So, here we are. In love and out of luck."

"Out of luck? Why?"

"Come on Remus. You don't expect us to actually stay together forever, do you?" Remus shrugged. "I'm going to ask Lily Evans to date me next year and Lucius is going to ask Narcissa."

"I'm sorry Prongs." Remus hugged him briefly. "But it's for the best, isn't it? This way I can spoil some rotten baby of yours."

"Asshole!" James grabbed Remus and proceeded to give him a knuckle- sandwhich.

"Am I interrupting?" Sirius asked, watching them with an impassive expression. Both boys stopped and gazed at Sirius. One with uncertainy and one with a lecterous older brother gleam in his eyes.

"No. Just messin' around. I'm going to get ready for bed."

Sirius and Remus were left alone...

~ ~~

WAI! I updated ^o^

Chapter isnt long :-/ oh well. ^^