The Color of Friends
Summary: From Skids' POV, reflecting on Cya and their friendship. Skids really isn't the kid that most people make him out to be.
Pairing: Skids/Cyanide
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Sandra Delete owns them all. She owns BMB and thus, all shall worship her.
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"Cya? Can I color on you? I ran out of space on my paper…" I asked him, tentatively reaching for a pen. Lately I had just wanted to be near him, but he seemed like he was fading away, like he was uncomfortable around me. I didn't want to push him too far just reaching for a marker. He hasn't said anything…Is that bad? Is he going to get up and leave me here? It's so lonely without him here, next to me, always by my side, Skids and Cyanide.
"Sure." Cya smoothly took of his shirt. I was relieved, he didn't hate me! I wish that I could make taking off my shirt that smooth and sexy. But then again, anything that he does is smooth and sexy to me.
I began coloring in the middle of his mocha colored stomach. God, Cyanide Torres was the best looking man that I ever had met, and probably ever will meet. Do you know why? Because I love him. It has taken me so many years just to figure that out. Every time he comes near me I get a happy feeling, that no one can take away from me. His black hair looks amazing, he spends so much time on it every day, even if he does leave it down sometimes. His big chocolaty eyes seem to hold the world, and more. It seems like I could see his soul through his eyes, but yet, I can't. I guess the thing that upsets me the most is that Cya will never love me. Cya likes girls. Cya doesn't like guys, and I'm not an acceptation to the rule.
Some people take one look at me and think that I am a juvenile collage student that will never learn to grow up. They think that I am most like a eight year old trapped in a nineteen year olds body. Well, they're wrong. Yeah sure, I look happy all the time…but that's just the way I am. I guess you could say that I hide my emotions really well, under my big bright smile and gleaming eyes. Or at least that's what Cya says. I wish he wouldn't look at me like that sometimes. He twists the knife further into my heart, I know he doesn't like me, so why does he look at me like that? It only hurts.
The reason I am happy is for him. He cares so much, sometimes I wonder why. I know that when I am not happy, neither is he. And I can't stand to see him sad, so I wear a smile all the time, just because I love him. I love Harley too, but I love him another way. Harley is my friend and I love him like a friend; like he is my little brother. I guess he has always been there for me, but yet, somehow needing my comfort. He goes to me for comfort, but I find solstice in Cya. He will hug me and rub my back and tell me that everything will be alright. And I know that it's true because when he is with me, everything is alright.
Some people say that I am like a little kid because I like colors. Well, they aren't wrong there. I like colors. I love coloring on paper, walls, or even people, Cya preferably. That's when he can take off his shirt and I can put my hands all over him and he won't even notice. Notice the way that my love for him burns in my eyes. Even though he will never love me, I will always love him. That is why I like colors. Colors brighten up my dark world, reminding me that everything is alright and that maybe, someday, Cya will love me.
Cya giggled. I loved it when he laughed. He was one of the only grown men that I knew, other than me or Harley, that would ever giggle. I guess I had touched him somewhere that he was ticklish.
"Skids…That…Tickles!" It was hard to understand what he was saying, because I had drawn my hand over his side, purposefully tickling him, but gently. I would never want him to feel uncomfortable. Then I stopped when his laughter died down a bit.
I looked into his eyes. Big mistake Skids! Very bad! I think I could become lost in those bottomless pits of his eyes forever. They were so warm, loving, and caring. I had this incredible urge to kiss him now, tell him how I felt. Then I realized that he too, was staring back at me. We were lost in each other's eyes. Maybe if I just leaned down a little bit then I could kiss him…No that was a bad idea. I quickly regretted leaning down, so I had to think of something…fast!
Then it came to me. My right hand was still holding a purple marker. I quickly moved my hand around and drew a big circle around his eye. I laughed. And he reached up to his eye and felt around for the marker, which of course was impossible because you can't tell where it was, so he ended up smearing it, which made me laugh even harder.
He reached into the bucket of markers and brought out a lime green. "Hmm. I think lime green matches your eyes, Skids." And he dove on me and drew a circle around each of my eyes. I giggled at his contact, it tickled so much!
Cya looked for some more colors, and when finding a red and an orange, he straddled me, with a knee on each side of my stomach! Cya straddled me! Oh he didn't know how much he was teasing me right now, but I wasn't going to complain. There we were, lying on the floor of his room, coloring all over each other.
I remember when we were in tenth grade, we did this. We would color all over each other in his room for hours. Harley never was really into that. Jeff didn't like it either, but we could care less about that. I had Cya and Cya had me, that was all that mattered then. Back then things weren't as complicated. Harley hadn't told us that he was gay, and any sexuality didn't matter at all. Back then we could shower in the locker rooms together and change without having to go into a different room. Back then things were easier, simpler. But I guess that I still love the way things are now. I am happy here, with Cya and Harley as my friends. Jeff doesn't matter really anymore, if he doesn't like Harley the way he is, then he can just forget that we ever existed.
"What are you thinking about, Skids?" A calm voice, as smooth as caramel, seeped into my thoughts.
I glanced up at him. "Nothing, it doesn't matter." Was it just me or did he look slightly disappointed. Maybe he was. I used to be able to tell him everything, but not anymore, now he would hate me if he knew, knew that I loved him. "Oh. Want to go to the park or something?" He asked me. I giggled at his request, we were covered in marker!
He looked down at himself and laughed. "We could wash our faces off, but we don't have to wash our stomachs, we can take showers when we get back before rehearsal." He suggested. Wow, I'm glad that he remembered that we had rehearsal today because I totally forgot! What would I do without you Cya?
"Sure!" I quickly agree as he gets up and finds a washcloth and washes his face off in front of the bathroom mirror. I wonder if he got me one…I mean I don't want to walk around with a colorful face, now do I?
"Come on Skids!" And he leaps on me with a warm facecloth in his hand. He begins to rub at my face, careful, I guess he doesn't want to hurt me. I don't want you to hurt me Cya, just like I could never hurt you.
"I wanna leave the lime green on you, it is defiantly your color, Skids!" He jokes around with me, but I wish that he would take the time to notice that lime green was my favorite color.
I smiled at him. "Just like how red looks so good on you." Cya finished up rubbing my face with the washcloth and got up and grabbed his jacket, ready to go to the park. I walked out of his door and followed him down the steps and out the front door of his house. We chatted aimlessly, walking to the park that was only a few blocks away, passing the time until we got there. I guess I was just happy with that. It was beginning to get dark now, as we were sitting on a small bench in a rather uninhabited part of the park.
"Hm. It's getting cold out." Cya observed, and pulled his jacket closer around his lean, muscular body. I shivered. He was smart enough to bring a jacket, but of course, I had totally forgotten. I guess I can be rather scatterbrained when I'm around him. I mean, he's really the only thing that matters to me, so there isn't much else to think about. I think he noticed me shiver though, and he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me a little closer to him.
"Thanks." His warmth was already taking effect on me. I was already starting to feel sleepy in his embrace and I rested my head against his stomach.
Cya sighed. "You know Skids, you really do look good in green." He licked his finger and rubbed at a spot that he missed on my face. I love him so much, the way that he takes care of me like that.
"But you can make any color look good, Skids." And he buried his face in my hair. Maybe I did have a chance with him after all.
~~End~~
