The Trauma That Never Heals.
She did not even feel the water this time, only
watched wordlessly as drops exploded on the ground on which she knelt. Her
entire body trembled, her hair was plastered to her head, and she wore a
permanent frown. She did not weep.
"Welcome back," came a voice, and Rayel recognised it as Madeline Sedai's.
"Rise, now."
"I don't…I don't…"
Rayel could not find the words she wanted. Her fists were clenched so that the
knuckles were white. She felt her hands aching already, and tried
unsuccessfully to unfold them.
"Rayel," Madeline said, waiting until the novice was meeting her gaze. "Are you
ready to go on, child?"
Rayel blurted out her answer, and fury filled her when she heard herself say
the wrong word. She cursed herself repeatedly, though not aloud. Madeline Sedai
only smiled and said, "Very well. Come forth."
"I…"
She had already given assent. She could not turn back now. Oh, Light…
Madeline was waiting for her. She stepped forward and stood gazing with
outright horror at the third arch.
"The third time," Madeline said as she had the first time, "is for what will
be. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast."
As her legs carried her forward Rayel became convinced that some evil force was
working to make her do things she did not wish to do. They are all
evil…every one of them. Oh, how I despise Aes Sedai.
She stepped into the light and was consumed.
