Aftermath.


In her room that night, Rayel thanked the Light she did not share it with anyone. She could say whatever she wanted, out loud, and not be accused of being insane. She would once have told herself she was anyway, but she had lost the energy.

She could not sleep yet, despite being utterly exhausted. She was Accepted now, but she doubted she would ever think it was worth it. An intense hatred of everything coiled within her, and it originated with her. Never could she hate anyone or anything the way she hated herself.

She went over all that she remembered from her arches, knowing she would write it all down at a later date. Her mind ached as much as her body, which was curled up tightly on the bed. She felt compelled to replay the entire ordeal in her head repeatedly.

"Red Rya…" she murmured absent-mindedly, staring at the wall. "Can I see into the future?" She could have sworn that Rya Sedai was more than just a character out of her own imagination. She remembered Red Rya, Stinging Blade of Tarabon, even if to her knowledge at this moment, no such woman had yet lived. Perhaps she really was just insane.

Something nagged at her, but she scrabbled around frantically for more distractions, knowing she did not want to think about it. The events that had transpired within the arches whirled around and around in her head, until they had all formed one big horrifying muddle. She wept for about an hour before finally feeling sleep drag her down.

As she slipped into the usual nightmares, now augmented by the terror of the Accepted's test, she knew as clear as day what she had been avoiding accepting since exiting the third arch. The link was gone. All that remained of what she and Marana had shared was a gaping hole, not wet or infected like a sore but dry and yawning, sterile and dark.

Her life would never be the same.