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~ Trudging through Hyrule Field, we meet our two heroes. ~
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Navi: Okay, let me get this straight: you've got to find a dragon and rescue a princess just so Ganondorf can give you back your forest, which you only don't have because he filled it with those freaks in the first place; is that what you are saying?
Link: You know what? Maybe there is a good reason why fairies shouldn't talk.
Navi: I don't get it, Link! Why don't you just pull some of that Hylian stuff on him? You know! Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make his bread...you know? The whole Hylian trip!
Link: I don't grind bones, remember?
Navi: Oh, yeah!
Link: But I guess I could've decapitated a whole village, stick their heads on a pike, get the Master Sword and cut open their spleens; drink their fluids! Does that sound good to you?
Navi: Um...no.
Link: Well, for your information, there's a lot more to Hylians than people think!
Navi: Like what?
Link: Example? Okay...hm... *Picks up an onion* Hylians are like onions!
Navi: *Sniffs* They smell bad?
Link: Yes. ...NO!
Navi: Oh! They make you cry!
Link: No!
Navi: Ohhhhh, if you leave them out in the sun, they'll turn brown and start growing little white hairs!
Link: NO! Layers! Onions have layers. Hylians have layers. Onions have layers. Hylians have layers. Get it? We both have layers. *Throws the onion and continues walking*
Navi: Oh, so you both have layers... *Winces* Well you know...not everyone likes onions... *Flies after Link* CAKE! Everyone loves cake!
Link: I DON'T CARE...what everyone likes. Hylians are not like cakes!
Navi: You know what everyone else likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person and you go, "Hey man, wanna get some parfaits?" "No, I don't like parfaits!" Parfaits are delicious!
Link: NO! You dense, irritating miniature beast of burden! Hylians are like onions! End of story! *Waves* Bye bye. See you later. *Storms off*
Navi: Bye! But parfaits have to be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!
Link: I think I prefer your humming!
Navi: Do you have a tissue or something, because I'm making a mess. Just the word "parfaits" makes me start drooling!
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~ While climbing up Death Mountain trail. ~
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Navi: Phew, Link! Did you do that? I mean, you've got to warn someone before cracking off-my mouth was open and everything!
Link: Trust me Navi, if it were me...YOU'D BE DEAD. *Sniffs* It's brimstone! We must be getting closer.
Navi: *Mumbles* I know what I smelled and it wasn't brimstone, and it didn't come off no stone either.
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~ At the entrance of Death Mountain Crater. ~
***********************************************************************
Link: *Stares at the Fire Temple* Sure it's big enough, but look at the location. Ha ha ha... *Stops laughing and continues walking towards a bridge*
Navi: Uh, Link... *Looks at a skeleton* Remember when you said that Hylians have layers?
Link: Go on.
Navi: I have a confession to make. Well, uh, fairies don't have layers. We wear our fear right on our sleeves.
Link: But Navi...fairies don't have sleeves.
Navi: You know what I mean, Link!
Link: Oh, don't tell me you are afraid of heights!
Navi: No, I'm just uncomfortable being on a rickety bridge over a lake of hot molten lava!
Link: Navi, I'm here right beside you, okay?
Navi: That's what I'm afraid of.
Link: *Ignores Navi* Now, we are going to conquer this thing one little wingstroke at a time.
Navi: Really?
Link: Really really.
Navi: Okay, that makes me feel so much better.
Link: Just keep moving...and don't look down!
Navi: Alright, don't look down! *Start flying over the bridge* Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep moving and don't look down. Whew, I'm tired. *Lands on a plank on the bridge, and the plank snaps off and tumbles into the lava; Navi flies up just in time* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, LINK!! I'M LOOKING DOWN! Aaah, oh holy goddesses, I can't do this! Just let me off now, please!
Link: But Navi, we are already half way through!
Navi: Yeah, but I know that half is safer!
Link: Okay...fine! I don't have time for this! You go back.
Navi: No, Link! Wait!
Link: Just don't... *Thinks* Let's have a dance, shall we? *Steps backwards and the bridge shakes*
Navi: AAAAAAAAAAAAH, DON'T DO THAT!
Link: Do what? This? *Shakes the bridge*
Navi: Yes, that!
Link: Yes? Do it? Okay! *Grins and shakes the bridge*
Navi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! *Starts flying backwards* AAAH, NO LINK! NO!
Link: You said to do it, so I'm doing it!
Navi: Oh, holy goddesses, I am going to die! I'm going to die, I'm going to die! Link! I'm going to die! *Looks around and sees that she's on the other side of the bridge* Oh!
Link: *Pinches Navi's cheek* That'll do, Navi. That'll do.
Navi: Cool! So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck, anyway?
Link: Inside...waiting for us to rescue her.
Navi: ....I was talking about the dragon, Link.
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PKC: Sorry it took me so long to update! I kind of had a writer's block at the onions part! Thanks for the great reviews, they are really appreciated! I'm on a roll now, so expect more chapters and updates! ^-^
***********************************************************************
~ Trudging through Hyrule Field, we meet our two heroes. ~
***********************************************************************
Navi: Okay, let me get this straight: you've got to find a dragon and rescue a princess just so Ganondorf can give you back your forest, which you only don't have because he filled it with those freaks in the first place; is that what you are saying?
Link: You know what? Maybe there is a good reason why fairies shouldn't talk.
Navi: I don't get it, Link! Why don't you just pull some of that Hylian stuff on him? You know! Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make his bread...you know? The whole Hylian trip!
Link: I don't grind bones, remember?
Navi: Oh, yeah!
Link: But I guess I could've decapitated a whole village, stick their heads on a pike, get the Master Sword and cut open their spleens; drink their fluids! Does that sound good to you?
Navi: Um...no.
Link: Well, for your information, there's a lot more to Hylians than people think!
Navi: Like what?
Link: Example? Okay...hm... *Picks up an onion* Hylians are like onions!
Navi: *Sniffs* They smell bad?
Link: Yes. ...NO!
Navi: Oh! They make you cry!
Link: No!
Navi: Ohhhhh, if you leave them out in the sun, they'll turn brown and start growing little white hairs!
Link: NO! Layers! Onions have layers. Hylians have layers. Onions have layers. Hylians have layers. Get it? We both have layers. *Throws the onion and continues walking*
Navi: Oh, so you both have layers... *Winces* Well you know...not everyone likes onions... *Flies after Link* CAKE! Everyone loves cake!
Link: I DON'T CARE...what everyone likes. Hylians are not like cakes!
Navi: You know what everyone else likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person and you go, "Hey man, wanna get some parfaits?" "No, I don't like parfaits!" Parfaits are delicious!
Link: NO! You dense, irritating miniature beast of burden! Hylians are like onions! End of story! *Waves* Bye bye. See you later. *Storms off*
Navi: Bye! But parfaits have to be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!
Link: I think I prefer your humming!
Navi: Do you have a tissue or something, because I'm making a mess. Just the word "parfaits" makes me start drooling!
***********************************************************************
~ While climbing up Death Mountain trail. ~
***********************************************************************
Navi: Phew, Link! Did you do that? I mean, you've got to warn someone before cracking off-my mouth was open and everything!
Link: Trust me Navi, if it were me...YOU'D BE DEAD. *Sniffs* It's brimstone! We must be getting closer.
Navi: *Mumbles* I know what I smelled and it wasn't brimstone, and it didn't come off no stone either.
***********************************************************************
~ At the entrance of Death Mountain Crater. ~
***********************************************************************
Link: *Stares at the Fire Temple* Sure it's big enough, but look at the location. Ha ha ha... *Stops laughing and continues walking towards a bridge*
Navi: Uh, Link... *Looks at a skeleton* Remember when you said that Hylians have layers?
Link: Go on.
Navi: I have a confession to make. Well, uh, fairies don't have layers. We wear our fear right on our sleeves.
Link: But Navi...fairies don't have sleeves.
Navi: You know what I mean, Link!
Link: Oh, don't tell me you are afraid of heights!
Navi: No, I'm just uncomfortable being on a rickety bridge over a lake of hot molten lava!
Link: Navi, I'm here right beside you, okay?
Navi: That's what I'm afraid of.
Link: *Ignores Navi* Now, we are going to conquer this thing one little wingstroke at a time.
Navi: Really?
Link: Really really.
Navi: Okay, that makes me feel so much better.
Link: Just keep moving...and don't look down!
Navi: Alright, don't look down! *Start flying over the bridge* Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep moving and don't look down. Whew, I'm tired. *Lands on a plank on the bridge, and the plank snaps off and tumbles into the lava; Navi flies up just in time* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, LINK!! I'M LOOKING DOWN! Aaah, oh holy goddesses, I can't do this! Just let me off now, please!
Link: But Navi, we are already half way through!
Navi: Yeah, but I know that half is safer!
Link: Okay...fine! I don't have time for this! You go back.
Navi: No, Link! Wait!
Link: Just don't... *Thinks* Let's have a dance, shall we? *Steps backwards and the bridge shakes*
Navi: AAAAAAAAAAAAH, DON'T DO THAT!
Link: Do what? This? *Shakes the bridge*
Navi: Yes, that!
Link: Yes? Do it? Okay! *Grins and shakes the bridge*
Navi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! *Starts flying backwards* AAAH, NO LINK! NO!
Link: You said to do it, so I'm doing it!
Navi: Oh, holy goddesses, I am going to die! I'm going to die, I'm going to die! Link! I'm going to die! *Looks around and sees that she's on the other side of the bridge* Oh!
Link: *Pinches Navi's cheek* That'll do, Navi. That'll do.
Navi: Cool! So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck, anyway?
Link: Inside...waiting for us to rescue her.
Navi: ....I was talking about the dragon, Link.
***********************************************************************
PKC: Sorry it took me so long to update! I kind of had a writer's block at the onions part! Thanks for the great reviews, they are really appreciated! I'm on a roll now, so expect more chapters and updates! ^-^
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