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~ At the scene where the little "brimstone" part happened. ~

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Zelda: *Runs down the hill* You did it! You rescued me! You're-wonderful!

Navi: *Flies down the hill and lands on the ground*

Zelda: You're...

Link: *Rolls down the hill and crushes Navi*

Zelda: ...A little unorthodox, I'll admit. But... *Goes into Shakespearian English* Thy deed is great, and thine heart is pure! I'm eternally in your debt!

Navi: *Flies from under Link and clears throat*

Zelda: *Turns to Navi and hugs her* And where would a great knight be without his noble, uh...nymph!

Navi: Alright, I hope you heard that Link. She called me a noble nymph! She thinks I'm a nymph!

Zelda: *Laughs uncomfortably* Um... The battle is won! You may remove your helmet, sir knight!

Link: Uh...no!

Zelda: WHY NOT?

Link: I have um, helmet hair!

Zelda: Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer!

Link: No, no, no you...would...'st...

Zelda: But how will you kiss me?

Link: What? That wasn't in the job description!

Navi: Maybe it's a perk!

Zelda: No, it's destiny. You know how it goes: A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and there they share true love's first kiss.

Navi: Hmmm...you mean with Link? Wait, wait. Hold, hold! Hold on a second! So you think that Link is your true love?

Zelda: Um...yeah, I guess so?

~ Navi and Link burst out laughing. ~

Navi: You think...*Giggle*...is your true love! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Zelda: Just what is so funny?

Link: Let's just say I'm not your type, okay?

Zelda: Of course you are! You're my rescuer! Now just remove the helmet!

Link: Look, I really don't think this is a good idea...

Zelda: Just take off the helmet!

Link: I'm not going to!

Zelda: *Soft, dangerous voice* Take...it...off...

Link: No!

Zelda: NOW!

Link: Okay! At easy, your highness! *Reluctantly pulls off his helmet and smiles*

Zelda: *Backs up* You're...you're a Hylian!

Link: Well, who were you expecting? Prince Charming?

Zelda: Well, yes, actually! Oh, no! This is all wrong! *Turns around and starts walking away* You're not supposed to be a Hylian!

Link: *Sighs* Look, Princess, I've been sent to fetch you for Lord Ganondorf, okay? He's the want that wants you, not me!

Zelda: Then why didn't he come rescue me?

Link: Good question! You can ask him that when we get there!

Zelda: But, I have to be rescued by my true love! Not some Hylian and his pet!

Navi: Well, so much for noble nymph!

Link: Look, Princess, you're not making my job easier.

Zelda: Well, I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem! You can tell Lord Ganondorf if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him RIGHT HERE! *Sits down on a rock*

Link: HEY! I'm no one's messenger boy, alright? *Looms over Zelda* I'm a delivery boy.

Zelda: You wouldn't dare...

Link: *Grabs Zelda and thrusts her over his shoulder like a rag doll* You coming, Navi? *Starts walking away*

Navi: Right behind you, Link!

Zelda: Put me down or you will suffer the consequences! *Kicks and flails around* This is not dignified! Put me down! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

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~ Five hours later, it is dusk, and the three "friends" are walking through the forest. ~

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Navi: Okay, next question. Say there's this man that digs you, but you don't really like him THAT way. How do you let him down real easy, without making him angry and getting burned to a crisp and eaten?

Zelda: You just tell him he's not your true love. Everyone knowest what happens when you find your-

Link: *Bumps Zelda*

Zelda: HEY! *Sighs* The sooner we get to Ganon's Castle, the better!

Navi: Oh yeah, you're gonna love it there, Princess! It's beautiful! Wait a minute... No it's not! Oh, well! Never mind!

Zelda: And what of my groom-to-be? What's he like?

Link: *Lets go of Zelda and she falls to the ground* Well, let me put it this way, Princess. Men of Ganondorf's stature are in high supply! *Laughs*

Navi: I don't know, Link. There are those who think greatly of him! *Laughs*

Zelda: Stop it! Stop it, both of you! You know, you're just jealous that you could never measure up to a great ruler like Ganondorf is.

Link: Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess! But I'll let you do the "measuring" when you see him tomorrow.

Zelda: ...Tomorrow? It'll take that long? Shouldn't we make camp?

Link: No, that'll take longer! We can keep on moving.

Zelda: But there are...robbers in the woods!

Navi: Whoa! Time out, Link! Camp is definately starting to sound good!

Link: Oh come on. I'm scarier than anything we are going to see out here!

Zelda: *Storms up to Link* I NEED SOMEWHERE TO CAMP...NOW!

::Birds flutter away.::