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~ Inside the Temple of Time in the ruined/dark Hyrule Market. ~
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Iron Knuckle: *Holds up a board to the audience that says, "GASP".*
Audience: *Gasps*
Priest Rauru: People of Ganon's Castle, we gather here today...to bear witness...to the union...
Zelda: Um...? *Looks out the window*
Priest Rauru: Of our new king...
Zelda: Excuse me... Can we skip ahead to the "I do's"?
Ganondorf: *Chuckles* Go on.
~ Outside the Temple of Time. ~
Volvagia: *Snorts*
Navi: *Gets off* Go on ahead, have some fun! If I need you, I'll whistle, alright?
Volvagia: *Flies off*
Navi: *Sees Link running towards the ToT and reaches him before he opens the door* Wait, wait, Link! Hold on! Hey wait a minute! You want to do this right, don't you?
Link: *Stops* What are you talking about?
Navi: There's a line! There's a line you gotta wait for! The preacher's gonna say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace" and that's when you say, "I OBJECT!"
Link: Oh, I don't have time for this!
Navi: Hey, wait, wait! You love this woman don't you?
Link: Yes.
Navi: You want to hold her?
Link: Yes!
Navi: Please her?
Link: YES!
Navi: *Sings* THEN YOU GOT TO--GOT TO--TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS! Chicks love that romantic crap!
Link: Alright! Cut it out! When does this guy say the line?
Navi: ...We got to check it out.
~ Inside the ToT. ~
Navi's Voice: *Grunts*
Priest Rauru: And so, by the power vested in me...
Link's Voice: What do you see?
~ Outside the ToT. ~
Link: *Is throwing Navi up in the air towards the highest window*
Navi: The whole town's in there!
Priest Rauru's Voice: I now pronounce you husband and wife...
Navi: They're at the altar.
Priest Rauru's Voice: King and Queen...
Navi: Mother Fletcher, he already said it.
Link: Oh for the love of Din! *Runs into the ToT*
Navi: *Falls to the ground*
~ Inside the ToT. ~
Link: *Crashes through doors* I OBJECT!!!!
Priest Rauru: *GASPS*
Ganondorf: Oh, now what does he want?
Audience: *Clamoring*
Link: Hi everyone. Having a good time, are you? I love Ganon's Castle... Very...unclean...
Zelda: What are YOU doing here?
Ganondorf: Really! It's rude enough being here when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding-
Link: Zelda! I need to talk to you!
Zelda: Oh, now you want to talk? Well, I'm sorry, but it's a little late for that, so if you will excuse me-
Link: But you can't marry him!
Zelda: Why not?
Link: Because...because he's only marrying you so he can be king!
Ganondorf: OUTRAGEOUS! *Turns to Zelda* Um, Zelda, don't listen to him!
Link: He's not your true love!
Zelda: And what do you know about true love?
Link: Well, um, er, uh...
Ganondorf: *Chuckles* Oh this is precious! The Hylian has fallen in love with the princess! OH GOOD LORD!!
Iron Knuckle: *Holds up a sign to the audience that says "LAUGH"*
Audience: *Laughs*
Ganondorf: A Hylian and a princess!!!
Audience: *Still laughing*
Zelda: Link...is this true?
Ganondorf: Who cares? It's preposterous! Zelda, my love! We are but a kiss away from "happily ever after"! Now kiss me! *Puckers up* MMM!!
Zelda: "By night one way, by day another.*Looks at Link sadly* I wanted to show you this before... *Steps into the sunset's light and changes into that ugly Hylian*
Audience: *Gasping*
Link: Well...uh... That explains a lot!
Ganondorf: UGH!!!! It's DISGUSTING! Guards! Guards! I order you to get that out of my sight! NOW! Get them! Get them both!
Bunch of Stalfos: *Start surrounding Zelda*
Link: No, no!
Zelda: Link!
Ganondorf: This hocus-pocus alters nothing! This marriage is binding, and that makes me king! *Grabs the King's hat and puts it on* SEE? SEE?!
Zelda: *Fights some Stalfos* No! Let go of me! Link!
Link: No! *Runs towards Zelda*
Ganondorf: Don't just stand there, you morons!
Bunch of Stalfos: *Go after Link too*
Link: Get out of my way! *Throws some Stalfos* Zelda! *Gets hopelessly surrounded* ARGH!
Ganondorf: *Talking to Link* I'll make you regret the day we met! I'll see you drawn and quartered! You'll beg death to save you!
Zelda: No! Link!
Ganondorf: As for you, my wife...
Link: Zelda!
Ganondorf: I will have you locked in that tower for the rest of your days! I am KING!
Link: *Knocks back some Stalfos long enough for him to whistle*
:: The sound of rushing flames gets louder*
Ganondorf: I WILL HAVE ORDER, I WILL HAVE PERFECTION! I WILL HAVE-
Volvagia: *Bursts in through the back of the ToT, roaring and scattering debris everywhere*
Ganondorf: AHHHHHH!!!! *Stumbles backwards*
Volvagia: *Lunges forwards and grabs Ganondorf with his jaws*
Ganondorf: *Still screaming* AHHHHHH!!!
Volvagia: *Swallows Ganondorf*
Navi: Nobody move! I've got a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it!
Volvagia: *Roars*
Navi: I'm a fairy on the edge!
Volvagia: *Burps and Ganondorf's king-hat falls onto the floor*
Navi: Celebrity marriages...they never last long do they?
Audience: *Cheers*
Navi: Go ahead, Link!
Link: Uh, Zelda?
Zelda: Yes, Link?
Link: I...I love you.
Zelda: Really?
Link: *Smiles* Really, really.
Iron Knuckle: *Flips his sign around and writes on the back "AWWW!!!" and then holds it up to the audience*
Audience: AWWW!!!
Link: *Kisses Zelda*
Zelda: *Floats through the air as she shines with light like in Disney's "The Beauty and the Beast"*
???'s Echo: "Until you find true love's first kiss, and then take life's true form..." "...Take life's true form..."
Zelda: *Falls to the ground*
Link: *Runs to Zelda* Zelda...Zelda...are you alright?
Zelda: *Looks at herself* But...I don't understand... I'm supposed to be beautiful!
Link: But you ARE beautiful!
Navi: *Chuckles* I was hoping this would be a happy ending!
~ Inside the Temple of Time in the ruined/dark Hyrule Market. ~
************************************************************************
Iron Knuckle: *Holds up a board to the audience that says, "GASP".*
Audience: *Gasps*
Priest Rauru: People of Ganon's Castle, we gather here today...to bear witness...to the union...
Zelda: Um...? *Looks out the window*
Priest Rauru: Of our new king...
Zelda: Excuse me... Can we skip ahead to the "I do's"?
Ganondorf: *Chuckles* Go on.
~ Outside the Temple of Time. ~
Volvagia: *Snorts*
Navi: *Gets off* Go on ahead, have some fun! If I need you, I'll whistle, alright?
Volvagia: *Flies off*
Navi: *Sees Link running towards the ToT and reaches him before he opens the door* Wait, wait, Link! Hold on! Hey wait a minute! You want to do this right, don't you?
Link: *Stops* What are you talking about?
Navi: There's a line! There's a line you gotta wait for! The preacher's gonna say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace" and that's when you say, "I OBJECT!"
Link: Oh, I don't have time for this!
Navi: Hey, wait, wait! You love this woman don't you?
Link: Yes.
Navi: You want to hold her?
Link: Yes!
Navi: Please her?
Link: YES!
Navi: *Sings* THEN YOU GOT TO--GOT TO--TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS! Chicks love that romantic crap!
Link: Alright! Cut it out! When does this guy say the line?
Navi: ...We got to check it out.
~ Inside the ToT. ~
Navi's Voice: *Grunts*
Priest Rauru: And so, by the power vested in me...
Link's Voice: What do you see?
~ Outside the ToT. ~
Link: *Is throwing Navi up in the air towards the highest window*
Navi: The whole town's in there!
Priest Rauru's Voice: I now pronounce you husband and wife...
Navi: They're at the altar.
Priest Rauru's Voice: King and Queen...
Navi: Mother Fletcher, he already said it.
Link: Oh for the love of Din! *Runs into the ToT*
Navi: *Falls to the ground*
~ Inside the ToT. ~
Link: *Crashes through doors* I OBJECT!!!!
Priest Rauru: *GASPS*
Ganondorf: Oh, now what does he want?
Audience: *Clamoring*
Link: Hi everyone. Having a good time, are you? I love Ganon's Castle... Very...unclean...
Zelda: What are YOU doing here?
Ganondorf: Really! It's rude enough being here when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding-
Link: Zelda! I need to talk to you!
Zelda: Oh, now you want to talk? Well, I'm sorry, but it's a little late for that, so if you will excuse me-
Link: But you can't marry him!
Zelda: Why not?
Link: Because...because he's only marrying you so he can be king!
Ganondorf: OUTRAGEOUS! *Turns to Zelda* Um, Zelda, don't listen to him!
Link: He's not your true love!
Zelda: And what do you know about true love?
Link: Well, um, er, uh...
Ganondorf: *Chuckles* Oh this is precious! The Hylian has fallen in love with the princess! OH GOOD LORD!!
Iron Knuckle: *Holds up a sign to the audience that says "LAUGH"*
Audience: *Laughs*
Ganondorf: A Hylian and a princess!!!
Audience: *Still laughing*
Zelda: Link...is this true?
Ganondorf: Who cares? It's preposterous! Zelda, my love! We are but a kiss away from "happily ever after"! Now kiss me! *Puckers up* MMM!!
Zelda: "By night one way, by day another.*Looks at Link sadly* I wanted to show you this before... *Steps into the sunset's light and changes into that ugly Hylian*
Audience: *Gasping*
Link: Well...uh... That explains a lot!
Ganondorf: UGH!!!! It's DISGUSTING! Guards! Guards! I order you to get that out of my sight! NOW! Get them! Get them both!
Bunch of Stalfos: *Start surrounding Zelda*
Link: No, no!
Zelda: Link!
Ganondorf: This hocus-pocus alters nothing! This marriage is binding, and that makes me king! *Grabs the King's hat and puts it on* SEE? SEE?!
Zelda: *Fights some Stalfos* No! Let go of me! Link!
Link: No! *Runs towards Zelda*
Ganondorf: Don't just stand there, you morons!
Bunch of Stalfos: *Go after Link too*
Link: Get out of my way! *Throws some Stalfos* Zelda! *Gets hopelessly surrounded* ARGH!
Ganondorf: *Talking to Link* I'll make you regret the day we met! I'll see you drawn and quartered! You'll beg death to save you!
Zelda: No! Link!
Ganondorf: As for you, my wife...
Link: Zelda!
Ganondorf: I will have you locked in that tower for the rest of your days! I am KING!
Link: *Knocks back some Stalfos long enough for him to whistle*
:: The sound of rushing flames gets louder*
Ganondorf: I WILL HAVE ORDER, I WILL HAVE PERFECTION! I WILL HAVE-
Volvagia: *Bursts in through the back of the ToT, roaring and scattering debris everywhere*
Ganondorf: AHHHHHH!!!! *Stumbles backwards*
Volvagia: *Lunges forwards and grabs Ganondorf with his jaws*
Ganondorf: *Still screaming* AHHHHHH!!!
Volvagia: *Swallows Ganondorf*
Navi: Nobody move! I've got a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it!
Volvagia: *Roars*
Navi: I'm a fairy on the edge!
Volvagia: *Burps and Ganondorf's king-hat falls onto the floor*
Navi: Celebrity marriages...they never last long do they?
Audience: *Cheers*
Navi: Go ahead, Link!
Link: Uh, Zelda?
Zelda: Yes, Link?
Link: I...I love you.
Zelda: Really?
Link: *Smiles* Really, really.
Iron Knuckle: *Flips his sign around and writes on the back "AWWW!!!" and then holds it up to the audience*
Audience: AWWW!!!
Link: *Kisses Zelda*
Zelda: *Floats through the air as she shines with light like in Disney's "The Beauty and the Beast"*
???'s Echo: "Until you find true love's first kiss, and then take life's true form..." "...Take life's true form..."
Zelda: *Falls to the ground*
Link: *Runs to Zelda* Zelda...Zelda...are you alright?
Zelda: *Looks at herself* But...I don't understand... I'm supposed to be beautiful!
Link: But you ARE beautiful!
Navi: *Chuckles* I was hoping this would be a happy ending!
