Oh, GOD, she knows! was all Rogue could think as she finally made it back her room having been given a clean bill of health by Hank.
Leaning back against her bedroom door, she continued to be haunted by the sight of Jean's shocked expression when the other girl had read her thoughts.
Little Ms. Perfection would be stunned. I'm sure all she ever fantasies about is equally perfect Scott doing perfectly sweet and normal things to her. She hasn't the passion or depths to have such thoughts as I do…
Snarling with renewed rage Rogue pushes away from the door and flops down on her bed.
How dare that bitch read those thoughts!
Ok, if she was honest, she had to admit she'd probably been projecting and Jean couldn't help catching the direction of her thoughts.
Still, how dare she?!
Oh, God, what if she tells the others?
It's bad enough that anyone knows what my heart truly desires, but for it to be someone so uptight as Jean who'd never understand it…. I'm doomed. Now, I'll be an outcast all over again.
A freak among the freaks for having such thoughts.
Being avoided out of fear of my deadly skin was one thing, in fact it had some very useful moments, but to have them think I'm some kind of sicko.
Why can't the teen years be more livable?
Suddenly there's a light knock on the door and she knew who it is. Clenching her fists and glaring, Rogue slowly got up from the bed.
Jean! She thought with near hatred. Before letting the other girl in, she took some calming breaths and relaxed her fists, but Rogue could do nothing to hide the rage in her eyes.
"Rogue, I am so sorry, you have to know that." Jean blurts out as she rushes through the opened door. "I never, ever EVER would have deliberately gone into your head. Especially not when you were thinking……what you were thinking. It's just, my control still needs work and all of a sudden it was all just rolling off you. The thoughts, that is."
Sighing as she accepted the apology and her rage was deflated Rogue sat down on the bed. "I really don't want to talk about this right now. *pause* Did you tell the others?"
"No!"
"Why not? I'm sure they'd all love to hear what a freak I really am."
"Rogue," Jean moves to sit beside her on the bed, "no one here is a freak. Not for their mutations or their thoughts. You should know that by now."
"Still, it's quite a piece of gossip. Why didn't you share it with them?"
"It's none of their business, Rogue. It's none of my business and in all honesty, I want to forget I know not spread it all over and hear about it forever. Plus, who would believe me?"
"What's so unbelievable about it?!" here comes the rage again, she thought to herself.
"Well…Wolverine?!" her eyes widen in the same disbelief she'd shown in the Danger Room when she read those thoughts. "Everyone thinks you're into Scott or Remy or someone else from school. No one would believe it's really Logan. I know it now and I still don't believe it."
"I've had similar thoughts about Remy and Scott. Why is it so wrong to have them about Logan?"
"I never said it was wrong, Rogue. It's just such a surprise….." she turns with that incredulous look again. "You've had thoughts like that about Scott? My Scott?!"
Dammit, she was blushing now. The Rogue does NOT blush.
"Not exactly like that and it was a long time ago, when I first joined the team."
Ugh, I've gotten her curious. I can see it written all over her. She wants "girl talk."
"What were they like?" She leans in close.
Like I'd ever whisper such things in her ear.
"Nothing like what you saw with Logan. With Scott, it was things like going on a date, holding hands, and little kisses. Nothing major, just…teenager stuff."
"So, what you imagined with Remy, was it the same as the Logan stuff?"
"No, the Logan fantasies are one of a kind. With Remy it was kissing, make-out thoughts, but those didn't last long since his choice to be a lackey for Magneto is a major turn-off."
Truly puzzled, Jean tilts her head and asks the question Rogue asked herself constantly. "Why is Logan different?"
Lying back on the bed, she tries to think of a way to answer that one. Then she wonders why the hell she's about to tell Jean such things, when she'd never even thought of confiding in Kitty.
"I really don't know. Somehow, he just is." Where the hell did that come from? I don't want to talk about this with her. "One day, they just started. The thoughts. It was after a fight with the Brotherhood, I think. I mean, have you ever really watched the man fight? It's incredible."
Jean thinks about it.
I mean, I can almost see her mentally replaying battles she's fought with Wolverine at her side. She doesn't say anything. Instead this look of…enlightenment comes over her face.
Damn. Now she sees it.
Whatever the heck "it" is about Logan.
"Stop that." Rogue did NOT want this girl having thoughts about her man. Even if he was only her man in fantasyland, she was the one having those fantasies first so he was hers.
"Sorry." Good, now she's blushing. Uh-oh, her blush is getting reallllly red and she had a question in her eyes. I do not want to hear this one. "Do you really think he can do the things you imagined him doing?"
Rogue couldn't stop some of the images from rushing into her brain or the dreamy smiles that touched her face at those thoughts. "Yeah."
"Wow." Jean lay back on the bed beside her. "Just….wow."
Feeling smug for seeing something so obvious that Ms. Mind-Reader missed, Rogue's smile got bigger. "Yeah, I know."
Suddenly they were both giggling like the schoolgirls they still technically were.
That's the scene Kitty phases into and boy is she shocked. Jean and Rogue were laughing are their butts off over their little secret when the two were far from being friends while Kitty, Rogue's best friend, was out of the loop.
"What's going on here?" Kitty demanded of them.
Jean wants to tell her.
She looks at Rogue asking for permission to tell her.
Groaning, Rogue sat up and tried to think of a way to tell Kitty herself.
"You're going to want to sit down." Jean tells Kitty while she was still thinking.
"Why?"
"'Cause this one's a doozy." Jean collapses back on the bed in hysterics. Rogue glared at her. She's supposed to be the mature girl here.
"What's a doozy?" Kitty asked looking puzzled at Jean.
"I want Logan." Rogue blurted out with a cringe.
Kitty's face scrunches up all confused, "Huh?"
"I want Logan and Jean knows it."
"Boy, do I know it!" says a breathless Jean between giggles.
"Whoa, how about you just start from the beginning, Rogue. What is going on here? How and what does Jean know?" Kitty demands.
The beginning….good idea.
"Ok, you know how we were all in the Danger Room – Scott, Jean, Kurt, Ororo, you and I? Well, we all knew Logan was watching us and I got distracted by these thoughts I keep having about him and that's when I got knocked out, ending the session. When he picked me up to take me to see Hank and get checked out, I started having this fantasy I really liked to have of Logan and myself. Jean's control isn't the best and I was kind projecting the thoughts, so she saw them. I came up here after Hank made sure I hadn't really gotten hurt and Jean came to apologize and we got to talking and then you came in."
There.
That seemed a pretty good version.
"Talking about what?" Ok, that version's not good enough for Kitty.
"Sex with Logan." Jean answers wiping tears from her eyes and sitting back up.
"Sex with Logan? The Wolverine? Mr. Logan?!" Kitty asks.
"That was my first reaction, too." Again, Jean with the answer.
Rogue glared warningly at Jean, but it was obvious that her looks couldn't kill. Hmm…..my hands can though.
Rogue begin toying with her gloves and seriously contemplating…..
"Rogue, you're projecting again and you better stop thinking like that right now."
Doing a fairly decent impersonation of Logan's growl, Rogue responded. "The zip your lip and let me handle this."
Ignoring the dialogue between Jean and Rogue, Kitty began to absorb and understand what she'd been told.
"Ok, so, Rogue, you were having sex thoughts about Logan and Jean saw them?"
Both girls on the bed nodded.
Kitty went to the desk in Rogue's bedroom, grabbed the chair, moved it into a position before the two girls and sat down in it.
"What were they like?"
Shocked by the eager gleam in Kitty's eyes as she leaned forward to ask that question, Jean and Rogue exchanged a look.
"What?"
"You've had them too?" both girls ask, shocked.
"Oh, come on! What girl who knows Logan could sit through sex ed. classes learning about the male body and not start thinking of Logan like that?"
"I never did." Jean exclaimed.
Kitty and Rogue shared a smile and look that said they weren't surprised by that news.
"So what were you fantasies like?" Rogue asked her friend.
"Well, it's been a while since I had the Logan ones, being interest in Lance and all, but when I did have then they were usually just about his body."
Rogue leaned forward and silently prompted for more.
"Like those big hands of his moving over my body. Or that drool inducing chest of his. And a lot of wondering what his …um ... you know looks like."
"I bet it's big."
"Real big, I'd wager."
"I just know he knows what to do with it too."
"Oh, yeah. Logan is definitely a man who can please his woman."
The two girls shared a dreamy sigh as they began drifting into fantasies.
"WHAT?!" Jean exclaimed, finally shaking off her speechlessness at their conversation.
The pair turned with a slight glare at Jean for having been disturbed from their yummy thoughts.
"How can you two be so casual about this? The man is old!"
Rogue smiled, "You know how what the song said, 'Age Ain't Nothing But A Number.'"
"Can you honestly say you've never thought of him like that?" Kitty asked in disbelief.
"Never before today." Jean stated somewhat outraged.
"Now don't you wish you'd started sooner," Rogue teased.
For a moment, Jean simply gaped at her and then all three girls were laughing.
They spent the rest of the day in Rogue's room giggling over fantasies and speculations about Logan and his sexual prowess.
When Jean and Kitty finally left to go to their own beds, all their thoughts were on the man they'd been discussing and it was obvious Rogue wouldn't be the only one dreaming about the Wolverine that night.
