All Falls Into Place

Bleep, bleep, bleep

"Sorry," Ric mumbled to Diane, as his pager went off.

"Turn it off quickly," she replied, more awake than he. "You'll wake Livie."

"Too late," he commented, as Olivia started crying. "I'll get her," he added, as Diane began to get up. He brought the baby back, and handed her to her mother.

"Shh…" Diane soothed the baby, rocking her gently. Soon her cries had died down to whimpers, and she was lying back sleepily.

"Gotta go," Ric told Diane, kissing her and Olivia quickly. "Can't keep my first patient in three weeks waiting, can I?" After Olivia's birth, Ric had taken a few weeks off to help Diane, who had been afraid of not being able to cope with her new baby. But now, she felt confident as a mother, and Ric was gladly returning to work. Diane herself would be going back in two months. She wasn't sure that she was looking forward to it – before Olivia had been born, four months away from work had seemed like an eternity, especially to the career-minded woman Diane had been. But now, all she cared about was her daughter.

"See ya… when will you be home?" Diane queried.

"Sometime," Ric replied. "You know how it is."

"Poor you." Diane laughed. "Have fun, babe."

"You too," Ric said, leaving the room. Diane cuddled her daughter for a few minutes more, and then put her back in her cot. It was five o'clock – if she was lucky, she'd have another hour's sleep. But for now, she was perfectly content just to stand and watch Olivia sleeping. Nothing in life was more perfect than this.

*~*~*

Joanna Whitten, Tom Campbell-Gore, Mr Campbell-Gore, Anita Forbes, J. Whitten, Dr Anita Campbell-Gore… Anita flicked through the post rapidly, smiling when she came to the last letter. She still got a little rush whenever she heard herself called Anita Campbell-Gore. She didn't like the name particularly – in fact, if she was being honest, she'd much rather be called Anita Forbes – but it was what the name stood for. She'd married Tom nearly two weeks previously, and she still couldn't believe it.

"Jo, letters for you," she announced, walking into the kitchen, where Josie was gulping down some coffee and trying to eat cornflakes at the same time.

"Thanks," Josie replied, through a mouthful of cereal, as she took the letters. She opened them and sighed. "Junk, and… junk. Do I care that I could win a brand-new car?"

"You should," Anita commented. "That thing you call a car is definitely on its last legs."

"You can talk – when was the last time you washed your car, Nita?"

"Tom washed it last week." Anita looked at Josie, as if to say 'so there'.

"I asked when you last washed it," Josie replied.

"I know you did. But I don't need to wash it, because Tom always volunteers." Anita opened her second letter. "That's a big phone bill."

Josie craned her neck to look. "Well, the amount of time you spend talking to Dad…"

"He calls me most of the time."

Josie grabbed the piece of paper. "Hmm… in that case, how often do you talk to him? Because you've called him thirty times in the last month."

Anita snatched the bill back. "Thank you."

"Morning, ladies," Tom greeted his wife and daughter.

"Hey," Josie replied. "My turn in the bathroom?"

"Go ahead." Tom waved her away.

"Thanks!" Josie called, racing down the hall, on the off chance that Anita decided she wanted to get in first.

"Hell," Anita mumbled, leafing through her diary.

"You alright?" Tom queried, concerned.

"I'm not sure." Anita turned back a few pages in her diary. "I don't have any patients today, you know."

"None?"

"No. I'm on call, though." She turned some more pages. "Yeah… no, wait a moment, that can't be right…"

"Is this is private conversation, or is your husband allowed to join in?"

"If he really wants to." Anita looked up. "Forget it."

"So, are you going in today? Do you want a lift?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure. When are you leaving?" She picked up his letters and handed them to him. "By the way, these are yours."

"Thanks. We can go now, if you want."

"Sure." Shouting goodbye to Josie, they left. And, a few minutes later, when Josie had clattered out of the front door to go to work, the house was in silence.

*~*~*

"Ric!" Kath called. Ric had just finished his first operation of the day – it was different without Diane, he thought.

"Hi Kath."

"How's Diane? And the baby?"

Ric laughed. "They're fine. And I should warn you, Diane prefers it if people call the baby Olivia."

"Okay, I'll try and remember that," Kath smiled. "Oh, and I promised Diane I'd visit tonight, is that alright with you?"

"Of course," Ric replied. "I'm starting to feel as though my life revolves around feeding and changing Olivia – or rather, watching Diane feed and change Olivia. Apparently I'm not allowed to."

Kath laughed. "I seem to remember acting like that when Danny was born." She passed him a piece of paper. "Jason Warwick, nineteen, liver damage."

"Thank you. Where is he?"

"Bed five."

Ric walked over to the young man in the bed, Kath following. "Jason, long time no see."

"Mr Griffin, hi." Jason looked around. "Where's that nice girl who normally follows you around?"

Ric chuckled. "Diane? She's on maternity leave at the moment." He looked at Jason's notes. "So, what happened to you?"

Jason shrugged. "One moment I was in my car, the next moment I was in here. I passed out and caused a nice little smash."

"Well done. Any pain?" Ric queried.

"I'm drugged up to the eyeballs. But wait 'til my dad gets here… when he hears that I wrote my car off, then there'll be pain." Jason laughed. Ric checked him over quickly, and then moved away to talk to Kath.

"I'm amazed how he can keep laughing, to be honest, Kath. I've been seeing him off and on for ten years now, and each time he's worse."

"Is it that serious?" Kath queried, looking worried.

"I'm afraid so. I'm impressed that he's managed to hang on this long," Ric replied. "Diane and I saw him a few months ago, and we gave him until Christmas. He's a fighter, that's for sure."

Kath nodded. "What are you going to do for him?"

Ric sighed. "There's nothing we can do. It's just a matter of waiting, I'm afraid."

"Surely you can do something?" Kath pressed. "He's so young!"

"I know, Kath, but I wouldn't say it unless it was true. You know that." Ric sighed, and began to walk away. He'd known Jason a while, and liked him. It was a wrench to see him like this.

*~*~*

"Anita, are you alright?" Tom queried of Anita. They were just about to pull into the car park of Holby City Hospital, and she didn't look very well.

"Yeah… I'm fine. Just… it's a bit warm in here, isn't it?"

Tom gave her a funny look. "It's four degrees outside, it's the middle of January, and the heating isn't working."

"Yeah." Anita blew air up into her face, and tried to look normal. She took a deep breath as the car drew into a parking space.

"Are you feeling faint?"

"No, no… just travel-sickness, that's all." She shook her head, trying to get rid of the sick feeling.

"It's a ten minute journey, Anita," he replied, looking concerned.

"Maybe I'm getting the flu then. I don't know, Tom, I'm a psychiatrist." She sounded sharper than she'd meant to, and she mentally kicked herself.

"Alright. I only asked." He seemed hurt, and Anita cursed herself.

"Sorry."

"Do you want me to take you home? If you're sick, you shouldn't be working."

Anita laughed. "Oh, yeah, and how many times is the on-call psych actually called? I'll sit in my office all day and do nothing. You know that."

"Lucky for some," Tom replied, laughing, as they got out of the car.

*~*~*

Diane swore as the doorbell rang, and Olivia, rudely awakened, began to scream. Mitsy, startled by the sudden noises, dug her claws into Diane's leg, and Diane dropped the dirty washing back into the laundry basket. It was amazing how much extra washing one baby could make, she thought. She wondered idly how people with twins coped.

"Just a minute," she called as the doorbell rang again. She picked up the wailing baby, and headed for the door, Mitsy still clinging to her jeans. She struggled to open the door with one hand, but eventually managed it.

"Hi!" Chrissie said, chirpily. Diane almost laughed. Only Chrissie could cause this much commotion.

"Hey… come in," she added, opening the door wider, as she tried to soothe Olivia's cries.

"Bad time?" Chrissie queried, politely, as she took Amanda out of her buggy and came in.

"It wasn't." Diane gave a sigh of relief as Olivia subsided. They entered the living room – normally quite plain, but at the moment, covered in all things pink. Flowers, balloons, and "It's a Girl" cards had been sent by everyone that Diane knew – and some that she didn't. She had expected the cards from Kath, Lisa, Mubbs, and even Tom and Anita, but had been shocked to find that Robbie had told all of Steve's family. Of course there were no cards from her own family, she didn't have any, but if the amount of presents, cards, and good wishes from Steve and Ric's families were anything to go by, Olivia was never going to feel the loss of Diane's family.

Chrissie cringed. "Did I wake her?"

"You could say that. Never mind. It's nice to see you, by the way," Diane commented, sinking into a chair and detaching the cat from her leg. "Ow… that's better."

"I'm sorry I haven't been before, but Katie was off school, and then Manda had flu, and then Owen got it – he's such a baby when he gets ill – and I've had my hands full for a while," Chrissie said, apologetically. "I meant to visit you in hospital, but I didn't want to risk it, 'cause I wasn't sure if I'd catch the flu, and I'm sure you didn't want to have it – or worse, to have the baby have it."

"Thanks," Diane replied, smiling. "Is everyone better now?"

"Manda's fine… look at her!" Chrissie remarked, laughing at Amanda, who was rapidly crawling away from her mother. She caught her, and placed her firmly on her lap. "Owen might as well have had pneumonia, for all the fuss he made."

Diane bit back a sarcastic comment. "Ric's like that." She waved her hand towards the kitchen. "The amount of medicine he has in there – just in case, of course."

Chrissie glanced idly at Diane's hand as she waved it, and then let out an exclamation. "What's that?"

"What?" Diane asked, innocently.

"That!" Chrissie pointed at the ring Diane wore.

"Oh, that?" Diane smirked.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Ever so much." Chrissie glared, and Diane decided to tell her. "We-ell… if you really want to know, Ric and I are engaged."

"Oh my God!" squealed Chrissie. "Since when? How did it happen? Tell me everything!"

Diane smirked complacently. "Christmas Day. I'd just had Olivia, and we were discussing names, and he told me that he wasn't going to let me keep the name Lloyd forever."

Chrissie ooh-ed and aah-ed enough for Diane's liking. "Who have you told yet?"

"Well, Jess, of course…"

"How did she take it?" Chrissie queried.

Diane laughed. "Really, really well. She's called me 'mummy' ever since, though." She glanced down at the ring. "And she keeps dropping hints about the fact that if and when she marries Alex, I would be his mother-in-law. Which, by the way, is quite a scary thought."

Chrissie giggled. "Well, of all the possible ways I ever thought you might end up related by marriage to Alex Adams, mother-in-law was not one of them."

"What do you mean by that?" Diane asked.

"Well, there was a time that you could barely take your eyes off him," Chrissie recollected.

"Oh yeah." Diane glanced at a photo of Ric on the mantelpiece. "He is quite cute, I must admit, though. But I prefer Ric."

Chrissie laughed. "Well, I don't understand what you see in either of them. I prefer Owen."

"How's it going between you two?" Diane questioned, lying back on the sofa. "Ahh… I'm tired!"

"I remember those early days," Chrissie replied, in a tone that suggested 'those early days' had been hundreds of years ago, and not just a matter of months previously. "Owen and I are doing fine, thank you. Never been better… of course, I think the fact that we've got Manda and Katie, that helps an awful lot. And then, well, of course, I'm pregnant, we're all delighted about that."

"You're pregnant?" Diane repeated loudly, causing Olivia to whimper in protest. 

Chrissie smiled, mimicking Diane's own expression from earlier. "Yup. Eight weeks… I found out just before Christmas. Made it into Owen's present."

"Congratulations," Diane said, readily. "What does Owen think?"

"Thrilled. He's always wanted a big family… I can see his point, actually. I think I'd quite like a few more," Chrissie commented, casually.

"Wow, Chrissie Williams, wanting children – never thought I'd see the day!" Diane giggled.

"Firstly, it's Chrissie Davis, I am married you know. And secondly, you're a fine one to talk – you've suddenly become very family-orientated, haven't you?" Chrissie retorted.

"Well, blame Olivia for that. And I suppose I understand you… I'd love to have another one," Diane confessed. "Not sure what Ric will say when I tell him."

"Why? He was fine with Olivia, wasn't he?"

"Yeah, but Olivia was part and parcel with me. She's not his, you know." Diane glanced down at the sleeping baby. "Not that you'd know, from the way he treats her."

"She's not his? Whose is she, then?" Chrissie queried, curiously.

"You don't know?" Diane was shocked. She thought everyone had known that Steve was Olivia's father… then she remembered. Chrissie had been so involved with her problematic pregnancy at that point.

"No," Chrissie replied. "Is she Alex's?"

Diane laughed. "Chrissie, look at Olivia, and tell me one reason why Alex cannot be her father."

Chrissie shot Diane a quizzical look, but realisation quickly dawned. "Oh. Yeah. So, tell me, then!"

"Steve," Diane said, simply, preparing herself for the questions she knew that Chrissie would ask. She was right… Chrissie wanted to know everything. Diane settled back in her chair, and began to explain.

*~*~*

Anita closed her eyes and leant back in her chair, trying in vain to stop feeling ill. Travel sickness… how could it have been travel sickness? It was a ten-minute journey; she'd done it millions of times before… slight exaggeration, perhaps, but still… And before she'd lived with Tom, she'd had an even longer journey. She had never suffered with travel sickness, not even as a child. She had never been sick easily… it was probably flu. That was what it was. Yeah. Josie had had the flu recently, and Anita must have caught it. What else could it be? She opened the window and took a deep breath of air – not fresh air, this was Holby after all – but it was air, and the cold felt good on her face. She drank in the air, and was feeling slightly better when her pager started beeping. "Just what I need," she muttered, standing up and heading off.

*~*~*

"Jason's parents are here," Kath announced, as Ric walked past. "They want to speak to you."

Ric sighed. "I hate this part." He walked over to Jason's room, though, and smiled at Jason's family.

"Mr Griffin," Jason's mother said, uncertainly.

"Lorraine, Mike, hi," Ric greeted them, forcing himself to look optimistic.

Jason smiled weakly. "Tell me the worst, then, Mr Griffin." He gestured to the young woman standing next to him. "This is Janina. We're getting married next week."

"Nice to meet you," Ric replied weakly. Getting married? He couldn't believe it. And he had to tell Jason, and his parents, and his fiancée, that he was going to die. This was the hardest thing he had ever had to do.

"So then, gimme the verdict, Mr Griffin." Jason smiled confidently, and Ric almost couldn't do it.

"There's been a chance that this could happen for years, Jason," Ric said, slowly. "I'm sorry to have to tell you."

Fear, sadness, heartbreak, and terror… they all crossed Jason's face in a mere second. But he tried to look nonchalant. "Oh." Janina was crying softly, and Jason rubbed her arm. "Don't cry, Nina."

Jason's mother was crying, and his father was looking crushed. "Is there… nothing… no hope?" Jason asked, softly.

Ric shook his head. "Short of a miracle, I'm afraid not. I'm so sorry, Jason."

Jason nodded. "That… that's okay." He looked bravely up at Ric. "How… how long… until… How long have I got?"

"Not long. Days, at most." Ric fought back tears – how could Jason take this so bravely? He felt his way out of the room, and leant against the wall, breathing heavily. Lorraine and Mike Warwick followed him. Mike shook his hand.

"I want to… to thank you, Mr Griffin. You've given Jace life that he wouldn't have had otherwise."

"Don't thank me," Ric sighed. "I'm sorry for what you're going through today."

Lorraine smiled bravely. "Don't be. I know that Jason should have gone years ago… you gave him years, Mr Griffin. And, I want you to know that… well… we will always thank you for that. Don't feel guilty, please."

*~*~*

Anita found herself in Maternity… she'd been paged by a Mr Hussein. She looked around curiously – she'd never been here before. Just as she was wondering where exactly to go, someone caught her arm.

"Dr Forbes? Mr Hussein," he introduced himself. "Call me Mubbs," he added, flashing her a smile.

"Okay. But, ah, you've got my name wrong. I'm Anita Campbell-Gore. Nice to meet you," she added.

"Campbell-Gore?" Mubbs repeated. "Are you his daughter or something?"

"His wife, actually," Anita replied, smiling. "So… the patient?"

Mubbs sighed. "Yeah. Erm, a young couple, Leah and Paul, it's their first child, and they've just found out that it has various defects."

"What kind of defects?" Anita queried. "And what do you want me to do?"

"Well, they're having trouble coming to terms with this. They need to speak to someone, to make a decision about what to do next." Mubbs pointed into the room where a young couple were sitting silently. The woman looked to be about six months pregnant.

"What kind of defects?" Anita asked again. "I need to know a bit about this before I go barging in, you know."

Mubbs nodded. "Alright. Erm, spina bifida… do you know what that is?"

Anita thought. "Yeah, it's something to do with the neural tube, isn't it?"

"Yeah. It's quite serious, though… it means that the neural tube hasn't closed properly, and, basically there are different degrees of it, we can't tell until the baby is born, but it can mean anything from a slight weakness to being paralysed and brain-damaged."

"And what are their options?"

"Basically, they can carry the baby to term and keep it or have it adopted, have an abortion, or induce labour now." Mubbs nodded. "Is that all you need to know?"

Anita considered. "Yeah, for now, I suppose. If I think of anything else, I'll ask." She headed into the room, followed by Mubbs.

"This is Anita," he introduced her. "She's a therapist, and is here to help you come to a decision."

"Hi." Anita smiled falsely, not sure what she could do at all. She had no experience of parenting; she didn't know what they were going through. She was Josie's stepmother, that was true, but Josie was more like a friend, or a sister, not a daughter.

Mubbs left the room quietly, and shut the door behind him, and Anita was left alone with the couple. She sat down on a chair, and gestured for them to begin.

*~*~*

Tom and Ed were in theatre, but Tom was distracted.

"You alright?" Ed queried.

"I'm worried about Anita," Tom replied. "She doesn't seem very well."

"Flu, probably. Didn't you say Josie had it recently?" Ed commented.

"Yeah." Tom nodded, and tried to put it out of his mind. "How are things going between yourself and Tricia Williams, then?"

Ed smiled. "Great. She's amazing." He paused, and glanced down at the patient. "Do I tie this off?"

"That's right."

"Ah…" Ed squinted for a moment, and then nodded. "Okay. Like that?"

"Well done." Tom inspected it closely. "That's very good, actually. I'll have to be careful; you'll be giving me a run for my money soon."

"That's what I'm aiming for," Ed agreed. "Anyway, Tricia. Yeah, she's amazing… Chrissie isn't too pleased, though. Nor Owen."

"Can't imagine why," Tom muttered, checking the monitor.

"We're ready to come off bypass now," Zubin, standing in the corner, announced.

"Okay," Tom agreed.

"What about you and Anita?" queried Ed. "How's married life treating you?"

Tom considered. "Actually, it's not that different to just living with her. Don't tell her I said that, though!" he added quickly.

"Well, I've barely ever spoken to her, so chances are that I won't."

"Good. Do you want to finish up?"

*~*~*

"I'd better go," Chrissie sighed, hauling herself out of the chair. "I need to get Manda home for her lunch."

Diane nodded. "Okay." She glanced at the clock. "My goodness, midday already?"

As Chrissie fastened Manda into her buggy, Diane saw a familiar figure wandering up the driveway. "Alex, hi!"

"Diane, Chrissie," Alex greeted them. "Thought I'd drop by and say hello… I'm bored, you see."

Chrissie laughed. "I'd love to stay, but Miss Manda will be complaining if she doesn't get something to eat soon. See ya!" With that, she left.

"Come in," Diane offered, holding the door open. "How are you?"

"Fine thanks… what about you?" Alex sank into a chair.

"Great. Well, knackered, actually, but you know…"

"Knackered? Is this the same Diane Lloyd who does three shifts in a row?" Alex teased.

She groaned. "No. This is the Diane Lloyd who has a newborn baby and hasn't slept in three weeks." Olivia's wails were heard over the baby monitor.

Alex laughed. "I can see why."

"She's obviously finished her nap, then. Come and see her," Diane suggested, pulling herself up from the chair and heading for the stairs. "Ugh… I need to talk to Ric about getting a lift installed."

"Lazy."

"Huh. You try walking up these stairs twenty times a day, whenever her highness decides she wants something." Diane pushed open the door, and gently removed Olivia from her cot. "Mind you, not that I want her to go without. Hey angel," she added, to the baby.

Alex smiled. "I needn't ask if you're enjoying this parenting thing, then?"

"Oh, I love it." She smirked at Alex. "Do you want to hold her?"

"You are kidding. No way." Alex backed away.

Diane laughed. "Aw, hear that, Livie? Uncle Alex doesn't want to hold you." She headed for the door with the baby still nestled in her arms. Alex followed.

"Since when am I her uncle?" Alex demanded. "Oh, ah, Jess told me to give you this," he added, holding out a carrier bag.

Diane waited until Alex had sat down, and then placed Olivia carefully in his lap, ignoring his protests. "Support her head. Like that, yeah." She opened the bag, and found baby clothes. "I thought Jess was broke – she keeps giving us clothes. They're gorgeous though."

"Jess is broke. I'm paying for them." Alex moved his finger away as Olivia's hand reached out to grab it. "And, ah, she wanted to know if you'd made any decisions about godparents yet."

"Yes I have, and you will hear in due course." Diane took the baby back, Alex looked too scared for his own good. 

*~*~*

Ric and Kath were feeling helpless. Jason was sleeping, and Janina was crying by his bedside. His parents were calling friends and relatives, and Janina was alone. "Kath," Ric began, slowly. "Maybe you should talk to her… you know what it's like… you've been through it."

"I don't want to drag her away from him, not before it's necessary," Kath replied.

"He's sleeping, Kath, and he'll probably hang on for a few hours yet. Janina needs to know what it might be like." Ric moved away, wanting Kath to get the hint, to start talking to Janina of her own accord. Sure enough, after a few moments, Kath approached the crying girl.

"Janina?"

She looked up, her tear-stained eyes scared. "He's not…?"

Kath mentally kicked herself. Of course, Janina would immediately think that a nurse coming over would mean the worst. She hastened to reassure Janina. "No, no. He's not… no. Don't worry."

"How can I not worry?" Janina demanded. "I can't go on without him!"

Kath squatted down beside her. "You think that now, Janina, but… over time, it will get easier."

"I don't want it to get easier! That will mean that I'm forgetting him!" Janina sobbed, suddenly burying her head in Kath's shoulder. Kath patted the girl's back awkwardly.

"Janina, my husband died just over a year ago. I thought then that I wouldn't be able to cope, but I have." Kath took a deep breath. Thoughts of Terry filled her mind for a moment, making it hard to see anything else. "I went through a hard time just after his death… I was accused of murdering him."

Janina pulled away suddenly. "What?"

"I didn't kill him. But I was accused of murder." Kath's voice shook slightly. "I found it hard to cope. But he was with me, all the time. Even though he wasn't there in body, I knew he was there, he was watching me and helping me, when people were whispering behind my back, and when people thought I had taken his life away." She paused. "Are you religious?"

Janina nodded mutely.

"What religion?"

"I… Catholic," she choked.

"So am I. You believe in Heaven, then? You believe that you will see Jason again one day?" Kath was trying very hard not to cry. Images of Terry flashed before her mind – buying jewellery, proposing, talking in the cafeteria, saying their wedding vows, holding each other closely on their wedding night, sobbing, running around on the beach, making a necklace from shells, his body, lifeless…

"It won't be the same," Janina cried. "I'm sixteen! I might live for another eighty years – I can't live for eighty years without him!"

"You won't live without him." Kath blinked back the tears. "Oh, it won't be the same, no. But it is never as bad as you think it will be."

*~*~*

Anita was touched by how devoted the young woman, Elizabeth, was to her unborn baby. She found herself wondering if she would be able to be that devoted to a child. Her immediate response was no, she wouldn't. But then… a child that was inside her? She shook her head. Best not to think about it – not until it happened.

Whilst Elizabeth with devoted to the baby, wanting to keep it no matter what, her husband, Daren, didn't want a disabled child. Anita, although she felt that she should sympathise with him, was shocked at his callousness, at how dismissive he was of Elizabeth's feelings. What if Tom was ever like that with her? What if they ever had a disagreement about something this huge? But they wouldn't… it was just because she wasn't feeling very well; it was making her worry.

Eventually, Anita decided that she should leave Elizabeth and Daren alone. She didn't seem to be helping, in fact, if their looks were anything to go by, she was making things worse. She left quickly, and found herself face-to-face with Mubbs in a few seconds.

"How did it go?" he asked.

"She wants to keep it, he doesn't." Anita closed her eyes, trying to stop feeling sick.

"Are you alright?" Mubbs queried.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just feel a bit… you know." She shrugged it off. "I'm sorry that I couldn't do more."

Mubbs nodded. "That's okay. I just thought they might like to talk to someone, well, not me."

Anita laughed, and made for the lift. To her surprise, she found Tom in there.

"Anita…" He looked shocked to find her in maternity. "Anything you want to tell me?"

She looked confused for a moment, and then shook her head, smiling slightly. "No, no, I'm not… no. I was talking to a couple whose baby's ill. I'm not pregnant!"

Tom sighed with relief. "That's good." He paused. "Not that, you know, if you were pregnant, it would have been bad…" He shook his head. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah." She leant against the cold metal wall of the lift, breathing deeply. Lifts had always scared her slightly.

Tom didn't notice. He was locked in his own little world. "You know, I don't think it would be that bad if you were… you know. I think I'd quite like to have a child."

"What's Josie, then? Just a lodger?" Anita decided not to mention her own views on children. They could wait for some other time – when they weren't in a lift, with various patients, and a few people who worked at the hospital.

Tom laughed. "You know what I mean."

"It's lucky I do, because you say that at least ten times a day," Anita commented. The doors opened. "This is my floor… you coming?"

Tom shrugged. "Why not?" He followed her into her office, and perched on the desk. "Listen, do you have any plans for tonight?"

"Yes, I've got a hot date," she joked. "No, nothing. Why?" she added warily.

"No reason…" He trailed off as she glared. "Okay. Ah, I was thinking that we should visit Diane Lloyd, congratulate her on the baby, politeness and all that."

"Why?" Anita began leafing through papers on her desk. "We sent her some absurdly small socks."

"Yes, but we should congratulate her in person… she's a good member of the team." He paused. "Only for a few minutes, not a long call or anything."

Anita nodded. "Yeah, sure. But not long, though."

"Great. I'll come and pick you up when the shift's over, then."

*~*~*

Diane felt like she was drifting off to sleep, even though Alex was talking to her. She was trying to pay attention, but ended up just making indistinct sounds every time he paused. "Yeah… uh huh… okay…"

"Diane, are you even listening?" he queried.

Her eyes had closed, and Alex smiled slightly. He was about to creep away and let her sleep, when the doorbell rang. Diane opened her eyes. "I wasn't sleeping!"

"Didn't say you were," he replied. "That was the door… do you want me to get it?"

She shook her head, standing up. "No, no. Can you take Livie for a moment though?" She put the baby into his arms, and left the room before he had a chance to object. She made her way to the door. "Robbie!"

Robbie Waring looked slightly shame-faced. "It's not a bad time or anything, is it? I can come back…" He made as if to turn away.

Diane grabbed his arm. "No, no, come on in."

Robbie did so. "I would have come sooner, but I had flu… it's been going round, you know."

"Yeah, I know." Diane led the way into the living room. "This is Alex Adams… Alex, this is Robbie. Steve's son," she added in a whisper.

"The one who… ow!" Alex broke off as Diane kicked him.

"Just try and be tactful for once in your life," she hissed, reclaiming her daughter. She turned to Robbie. "Meet Olivia. Do you want to hold her?"

"Can I?" Robbie asked, eagerly.

"Course." Diane laughed, and handed the baby to Robbie. "Support her head, yeah, like that."

Alex stood up. "Well, I'd better go."

"Already?" Diane asked. "You've only been here an hour or so."

"Yeah, but Jess gets off early, and I might get in trouble if I'm not at home when she gets back," Alex replied.

"Trouble? Why?" Diane glanced briefly at Robbie, but he was holding Olivia carefully, and both looked quite happy. She looked back at Alex.

"I don't know. I'd better go, anyway." Alex made his way to the door, followed by Diane. "I'll probably be round with Jess soon."

"I'm sure you will," Diane replied. "See you, then." She closed the door, and yawned widely before going back to Robbie and Olivia.

*~*~*

Janina had calmed down somewhat by the time Jason woke up. "Hey."

"Are you okay?" Jason queried, concerned.

Janina forced a smile. "Don't be worried about me. I'll be fine."

"I don't want to leave you," Jason said, softly.

"And I don't want you to leave me," Janina replied. "But you have to. And I don't want you to feel bad."

Kath backed out of the room as Jason and Janina melted into a hug. Her vision was blurred, all she could see was Terry, he was all around her and she couldn't breathe.

"Kath?" Ric's arms were around her, steadying her. "Kath. Sit down. Are you alright?"

She took a deep breath, feeling the tears trickle down her cheeks. "Just… Janina and Jason, it's like… it's like Terry all over again." She shook her head. "Not, not the… the diamorphine, but the…" Sobs were catching at her throat, and she couldn't continue. She took a deep breath again, and blew her nose. "I'm fine. I'll be fine."

"If you ever need to talk, you know…"

"You're there. I know." Kath nodded. "Thank you – it does mean a lot, you know, Ric."

*~*~*

Anita was sitting in her office, bored as hell, but also worried. At a loss for what to do, she found herself ringing Josie. She didn't mean to – one moment she was staring at the phone, the next moment she'd dialled.

"Hello?" Josie answered.

"Jo… it's me. Anita." Anita folded up a piece of paper on her desk, and began making an origami swan.

"Nita, hey." Josie sounded curious. "What's up?"

"Just… wanted a chat." Her finger slipped, and decapitated the swan. She unfolded the paper and began again.

"Yeah, and what's really up?" Josie demanded.

"Nothing. What do you mean?" Anita asked, unsure of what to think. Could Josie really see through her that easily?

"Anita, I've spent enough time with you to know that you don't call me in the middle of your working day just for a chat." Josie sounded concerned now. "So, what's the matter? Have you and Dad had a fight or something?"

"No. You know what, I'm fine." Anita was about to hang up, when Josie spoke again.

"You hang up on me, and I'm calling Dad."

"Fine. Fine." Anita moved her finger away from the 'end call' button.

"So. Talk. What's the matter?" Josie repeated.

"Have you ever thought about becoming a psychiatrist?" Anita quipped.

"It's bad enough having one in the family. God, Nita, you can be so frustrating at times. Tell me what's up." Josie was impatient now.

Anita mumbled something very quickly down the phone. "Was I meant to hear that?" Josie asked. "Slowly, please."

"I think I'm… you know…" Anita finally succeeded in creating an origami swan. She picked up another piece of paper and started again.

"Aggravating?" Josie filled in. "Anita, did you take lessons in procrastination?"

"Is that a compliment?" And before her courage failed her, she blurted it out. "I think I'm pregnant."

"Oh my God! Nita, that's amazing!" Josie squealed.

"Is it?"

"You don't sound happy," Josie realised. "Do you not think Dad will want a baby?"

"Oh, no, he was telling me how much he'd like to have one earlier," Anita replied.

"So you don't want one, then?"

"Not that I don't want one, it's more… it's unexpected, that's all." Anita sighed.

"Well, I'm always here to talk."

"Thanks."

*~*~*

"He's gone," Ric said, softly, as he left Jason's room. Kath nodded soberly.

"Should I – talk to them?"

Ric shook his head. "Give them some time."

"Time heals all wounds," Kath replied, more to herself than anyone else.

*~*~*

"I wish Dad was here," Robbie commented, watching Olivia intently.

Diane nodded. "Me too."

Robbie looked up. "I thought you were engaged to Mr Griffin?"

"I am, and I wouldn't change that for the world," Diane replied. "But I wish Steve was here, all the same. He was a good friend to me. And I – it feels wrong that he isn't here, with Livie."

"He can see her, you know," Robbie said, seriously. "You know that, right?"

Diane smiled. "Yeah. But it isn't the same."

Robbie nodded. "I know."

"So… how are you getting on?" Diane asked.

"Yeah. Pretty good." Robbie shrugged. "It's hard without Dad, though. Y'know, before, I always had someone to go to, and now… there's other family, aunts and uncles and stuff, but it's not the same."

"Yeah. I know that." Diane looked at him; he looked vulnerable, although he didn't want to. "You can always come to us, you know. If you want to talk."

"Thanks." Robbie's smile said so much more than he did.

*~*~*

"You're sure this is alright?" Kath asked, as she and Ric stood outside Ric and Diane's house. It was dark now, the end of the day.

"Perfectly sure. I'm not letting you go home alone, Kath." Ric turned the key in the lock. "Diane? I'm home, babe."

There was silence, and Ric looked around. "Oh damn… Olivia. I'm not meant to yell, am I?" He took his jacket off, whilst Kath pushed open the door to the living room.

"Look at this, Ric," she whispered, pointing. Diane lay, fast asleep, on the sofa, cuddling a cushion. As they entered the room, she stirred slightly.

"Diane? Honey?" Ric said, softly, sitting down next to her.

"Hi…" she murmured. "God, I haven't slept like that in ages."

"Where's Livie?" Ric asked, gently.

Diane sat up. "I don't know… Robbie had her."

"Robbie?"

"Robbie… you know, Robbie Waring." Diane began to wake up fully. "Kath! Hey."

"Hi."

"I'll go find Olivia," Ric suggested, leaving the room. They heard his feet pound up the stairs.

"He'll go through them one day," Diane commented, rubbing her eyes.

"How are you?" Kath queried.

"Exhausted," Diane replied, laughing. "I never knew what tiredness was before."

"I remember that." Kath smiled. Ric returned at this point, Olivia in his arms, and Robbie behind him.

"I'd better go," Robbie announced. "I just didn't want to go while Diane was asleep and Olivia was alone."

"Thanks," Diane replied. "Now, remember what I said, yeah? Any time you want to talk…"

"I'll be here all the time," Robbie joked.

"I don't care. Just come when you need to, okay?" She hugged him, and he left.

"Found a friend?" Ric asked.

"Well, we got talking, you know… he misses Steve something dreadful, and I can relate to that. I was about his age when my mum died." She scooped Olivia out of Ric's arms. "Thanks. And besides, he adores Livie."

Ric laughed. "Well, have you had a good day?" He sat down next to her on the sofa, and they cuddled up together. Kath, sitting by herself in an armchair, looked on slightly jealously. She shook her head slightly. They were her friends. She was happy for them. Of course she was.

*~*~*

"Tom, can we not go tonight?" Anita asked, slightly petulantly, as they climbed into his car.

"Why not?" Tom asked, concerned.

"I just… I need to talk to you, when we get home, you know." She avoided his eyes. "And besides, it's late, I'm sure Diane won't want us going to her house, waking the baby up and everything."

Tom nodded. "Fine. We'll leave it for tonight." He began to drive off. "So, what's your trouble?"

"Trouble?"

"Why do you need to talk?" he asked.

"Oh, that. It's nothing major, not really… I mean, it could all be a mistake, and I'd really rather not tell you whilst you're driving," she added, having visions of car crashes.

"As you wish." He turned the radio on, and they drove home in a fairly comfortable silence. When he'd parked the car, he turned to her. "So, what's the matter, Anita?"

"Nothing's the matter, exactly." She looked at him. Suddenly she was realising their age gap. He might be seventy-five by the time their child finished school. That was scary. He was nearly twice her age.

"Come on, tell me, then." He took her hand in his.

"Well… you remember that we were discussing earlier… you know…" She trailed off.

"What?"

"In the lift." She dropped her eyelids slightly, not wanting to see his reaction.

"The lift?" He thought for a moment, and suddenly gasped. "You're not…? Anita, are you pregnant? You said that you weren't!"

"I didn't think that I was… but I took a test earlier. And, well. Turns out I am." She was speaking quietly and quickly, a sure sign that she was stressed.

"That's amazing!" he exclaimed.

"You're happy, then?" she checked.

"Some psychiatrist you are! I'm thrilled, my goodness, you're pregnant, this is fabulous, Anita… does Josie know?" He was babbling, and Anita breathed a sigh of relief, leaning back against the seat.

*~*~*

"Is Kath okay?" Diane asked, as she was brushing her hair.

"She's fine… just, we had a patient die today, he was only young, it reminded her of Terry, I think." Ric folded his jacket neatly.

Diane nodded sombrely. "I'm sorry for her. She's had it hard."

"Some might say that you'd had it hard, Miss Lloyd," Ric commented.

"But not any more." She let him hold her close, it was safe, comfortable, she liked it. "I'm lucky, Ric. I've got you."

"And I've got you."

It was later, much later, that night, that Diane woke up. She crept to the window, and looked at the sky. Every star belongs to someone you love and have lost, she thought, wistfully. She glanced across at Ric, slumbering peacefully. Olivia, fast asleep in her cot. Then she looked back at the sky.

"You'd be happy, Steve." She glanced back at Olivia, and then to the sky, the stars, the moon – eternity. "Thank you," she whispered.

______________________

Well… I wanted it to be finished for tonight, and it is! :D

What did you think? There will be more parts, of course.