Title: Look Closer
Author: Burning Girl
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Characters are property of J.K. Rowling.
What does one expect from a child whose parents are former Death Eaters and whose family is one of the wealthiest wizarding families around?
Perhaps they expect snobbery? A spoiled child with everything he ever desired. A bully who looks down upon everyone else less fortunate and different from himself?
It was no secret that Draco Malfoy was not exactly the most cordial boy in the world. On the contrary, some might have described him as a "nasty little prat who is in dire need of a lashing to set his head straight." But what some called snobbery was what Draco had been taught by his parents his entire life.
He had been taught to hold his head up high and be proud for who he was and where he came from. And wizards and witches everywhere had to remember that he was the Malfoy's only son and therefore greatly cherished and held in high regard, not to mention a tad bit spoiled and conceited.
From the moment he received his letter of acceptance to Hogwarts he made up his mind that everybody would know who he was. He would make sure that from the moment he stepped foot in the school the other students would whisper his name in awe and fear of who he was.
But it's not easy for anyone to uphold a certain image, that constant reminder that there is a certain reputation to maintain. It is a bit like acting. There is a character to play in a certain scene and certain dialogue that has been rehearsed. And there is absolutely no excuse for slip-ups.
And he enjoys that feeling of glee whenever Professor Snape criticizes the other students and praises him above the rest. That feeling that he is worth something, that he is whom his parents have molded him to be. It is an ego trip. I am Draco Malfoy. Learn to fear me. He never lets his minions forget that. They look at him in awe and consider him their leader. There are no words to describe how he enjoys manipulating them and watching them run about to fulfill his every command and please their leader.
And they watch him during mealtimes as he picks at his food at least once a day and states how 'horrid' the food is.
"This is food? My father would have a word to say to Dumbledore about the rubbish they serve us!"
And then he turns up his nose in disgust as his fellow Slytherins sitting around him quickly and discreetly finish their meals as though they are insulting him by eating the 'rubbish' food in his presence.
And he takes pleasure in that. It takes his mind off the fact that his stomach is begging him for nourishment. He can't let himself in now. What would the others think of him? The most important thing is to not let down his family's name. "Above all things Draco, remember who you are, remember who you're family is." Those key words his father told him before he boarded the Hogwarts Express for the first time always resonating inside his head.
What the others don't know is how he draws his curtains around his bed after everyone else has fallen asleep and curls up under the covers with his knees close to his chest as he quietly tries to devour the cakes and sweets his mother sends him and the food he steals from the table at every meal.
It started out so simply; an exercise in power. But what has kept him at the top has left him at the bottom of his own self-control.
Never let your guard down. Never let them see your weakness. Never let them see who you really are.
