==HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER STONED==

A word of advice:

Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling/

Nazza does not endorse the use of drugs/

[Chapter 4: Midnight in the Corridor]

Harry and Ron went back to the common room to find Hermione sitting in one of the chairs, crying.

'Where 'ave you been?' asked Ron.

'I tried to walk up the walls,' said Hermione.

'Did you hurt yourself?' asked Harry.

'No,' said Hermione. 'I'm so proud of myself I just – I just have to cry.' Suddenly she stopped crying. 'That was fun.'

'Uh, Hermione, I think you should stop buying stuff off the Philosopher,' said Harry. 'It's affecting you in bad ways.'

'No it isn't,' said Hermione. 'Isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't –'

'You're getting horrid bags under your eyes,' said Ron. 'And people are scared of you. They think you're a hobo.'

'And so they should.'

'Listen, Hermione,' said Harry. 'Draco dared me to go to the forbidden corridor tonight.'

'The forbidden corridor!' said Hermione, jumping out of her seat.

'What?' said Ron. 'What do you know about the forbidden corridor?'

'Nothing, I just sat on a tack,' said Hermione.

-That Night-

'It's nearly midnight,' said Ron. 'Can you see Draco?'

'No,' whispered Harry. 'But I suspect he's watching us.'

'Of course he's watching us, he's a wizard, right?' said Hermione. 'Wizards are everywhere, and they see everything, and they are in control of the whole world.'

'No Hermione,' said Ron, 'that's God.'

'Same thing.'

Hermione pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

'Hermione!' said Ron and Harry at the same time.

'Well I'm sorry, but I only brought one,' said Hermione. 'But we can share if you want.'

'No thanks,' said Ron.

They sat in the dark for a while.

'This is boring,' said Ron.

'Not for me!' said Hermione, as she smoked. 'I'm starting to see the Riverdance!'

'It's nearly midnight,' said Ron.

'You already told us that,' said Harry.

'Maybe like dejavu,' said Hermione. 'Maybe like dejavu.'

'Shut up,' said Ron. 'You can't talk.'

'Yes I can,' said Hermione. 'What am I doing now? Ooh, pretty colours…'

'Ssh!' said Harry. 'I can hear something…'

What can Harry hear? Will we find out what it is? Find out in the next –

'It's not the end of the chapter yet,' said Hermione angrily.

Harry and Ron stared at her blankly.

'Well it isn't!'

'We gotta tell the Philosopher to stop supplying for her,' said Ron.

'Ssh!'

Suddenly the Philosopher walked in, not noticing the three who were hidden in the corner, or Draco who was trying to bumjack a statue. Harry could see that the Philosopher was dragging someone with him, who was quivering. Ron noticed that the Philosopher's eyes were blood red. Hermione noticed that several square-creatures were advancing on her.

'No, no, don't do it, please don't do it,' said the Philosopher's victim.

'Too late,' said the Philosopher. 'Now you DIE!'

The Philosopher pulled out his wand. 'Hang on, this isn't the knife!'

The Philosopher put the wand back in his pocket, and drew out a knife. 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'

His victim fell to the floor.

'Holy cow!' said Hermione.

'Yeah, that was really scary,' said Ron.

'No, I can see a holy cow! He has a halo and everything!'

Will they dob on the Philosopher? Of course not. Will Hermione ever go into rehab? See previous sentence. Will Draco ever meet with the statue again, or was it just a one night stand? Find out in the next chapter of Harry Potter and the Philosopher Stoned