==HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER STONED==
A word of advice:
Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling/
Nazza does not endorse the use of drugs/
[Chapter 7: The Common Room]
That night in the common room everyone sat around talking about the murder.
'I heard there was a murder.'
'Of course there was dumbass.'
'Don't call me a dumbass! Just because I'm stoned all the time!'
'Someone tell Hermione to shut up, please!'
For a few seconds they sat in silence.
'Wonder who was murdered.'
'Someone.'
'Hermione, shut up for a second!'
'Okay, if you don't like me I'll just go away. Or smoke some pot.' Hermione pulled out a cigarette and lit it in the dark room.
'Why is it so dark in here? Someone turn on the lights.'
Harry stood up and flicked the light switch. 'Aargh!' said Hermione. 'Turn it off! Turn it off!' Harry turned the lights back off. 'Turn it off! You haven't turned it off!'
'Hermione, I just turned the lights off.'
'Lights? What are you talking about? I wanted the TV turned off!'
'It is off, Hermione.'
'No it isn't!' She inhaled again. 'Wow! Now it's going technicolour!'
'Hermione, you're looking at the floor.'
'Technicolour floor!'
'So, 'Arry, know who the murderer is yet?'
'No, why?'
'I thought, since you're the big shot who solves all the crimes, you'd know.'
'I haven't solved anything yet.'
'Yet.'
'Hello everybody.'
Harry jumped. It was the Philosopher!
'What the hell are you doin' here?' Hermione asked. 'Come to see the technicolour floor?'
'You're not in Gryffindor! Why are you in the common room?!'
'I…got lost. Anyway, this murderer must be good. I'll be leaving now, to go…back to my common room.'
'Stoners must get confused with long sentences,' whispered one guy.
'I heard that!' said Hermione.
'Why would you care what they say about the Philosopher?' asked Ron.
'Philosopher? Huh? I was talking about this technicolour floor. It's dissing hoverboards!'
'Hermione, hoverboards don't exist,' said Harry.
'Then how come all you guys are on hoverboards?'
'See you later,' said Philosopher. He looked over at Harry and his eyes were bloodred.
'I see your stoned as well, ey?' said Hermione who noticed his eyes. 'My eyes go all square when I'm stoned too.'
The Philosopher left the common room. 'Ron, Hermione, can you come with me please?' Harry asked.
They walked up to the dorm, and Hermione said 'How come we're in the boy's dorm?'
'Oh yeah, you're a girl,' said Harry. 'Oh well.'
'No, I'm a boy. You guys are the females around here!'
Ron looked around nervously.
'Whatever,' said Harry. 'The Philosopher was the one who murdered that person, right?'
'Right,' said Ron.
'Left,' said Hermione.
'Well, his eyes were bloodred, like they were just then. Which means…'
'He's going for a ride on a choo-choo train to Wonderland where he meets Goku and Pikachu?'
'No, Ron.'
'Whoa, this stony stuff is real good!' said Hermione.
'Yeah, we know you like pot,' said Ron.
'No, I'm talking about the stony stuff on the floor!'
'You mean carpet.'
'Yeah…I think…'
'Listen to me,' said Harry.
'No.'
'Ron, I told you to shut up. The Philosopher is going to kill someone else!'
'Tonight?'
'Maybe. I mean yes.'
What will they do to stop the Philosopher? Why does the Philosopher's eyes go queer when he's in killing mode? Why is Ron obsessed with acting like Hermione? Come to think of it, why do they let Hermione hang around them? Find out the next chapter of Harry Potter and the Philosopher Stoned
