==HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER STONED==

A word of advice:

Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling/

Nazza does not endorse the use of drugs/

[Chapter 10: Wake Up]

Harry and the others went to bed like good little rule-breakers.

Harry woke up the next day and remembered that the Philosopher had killed another person. 'That's strange, there's no noise.'

He got out of bed, walked downstairs and found no one. It seemed no one was in the dormitories either, from the silence Harry was hearing.

'That's strange,' he said. 'Maybe I can say whatever I want and no one will hear.'

He thought for a while, then shouted, 'The Philosopher murdered two people, maybe more! Seamus accidentally got Hermione addicted on drugs when he slipped ecstasy in her Coke! Ron says Draco is a girl! Ginny sings in the shower, I know because I've seen her!'

Suddenly he remembered that there might've been people out in the corridor. He checked but there was no one. 'Very strange.'

He walked around the school in his pyjamas, looking for anyone – or anything – alive. 'This is real, real, real strange. Stranger than Hermione deciding to quit smoking.'

Suddenly Harry got an idea. 'I'll go make a sandwich! …uh, maybe I should check the other common rooms first.'

Harry wandered around until he found the Hufflepuff common room. He opened the door, looked around, and found no one was there. 'Why do I get the feeling this is getting stranger by the minute…just like Hermione…' He climbed up the stairs and looked in all the dormitories, but nothing. Everything was there, except for the people.

Although he was tempted to look at girls' lingerie, he decided to go look at the Ravenclaw common room. The only problem was, he needed to find it.

-Quite a While Later-

Harry finally found the common room, opened the door, and looked around. No one was there. He looked in all the dormitories, but again nothing.

'Maybe they're all having breakfast,' wondered Harry. So he waddled his way out of the Ravenclaw common room and headed off toward the place where they all ate. You know…that big hall…where they…eat…

-At the Big Hall where they Eat-

Harry opened the big gigantic doors to find…nothing. 'Okay, I think something seriously wrong is going on here.'

He walked through the big hall, looking under tables and any other place people could be hiding. 'Okay, no one's in the common rooms…no one's in the…food…place…where could everyone be?'

He turned around, and was about to leave when he heard a voice.

'I know you're there Harry.'

Harry turned around, but no one was there. I'm hearing voices! Jesus, what did I do, buy something off Hermione?

'I know you don't believe me. You cannot see me, can you.'

'Uh, no?' said Harry.

'Of course you can't, you don't have your glasses on.'

'Silly me.' Harry pulled out a pair of glasses and put them on. He looked around, but could still see no one. 'Who – who are you?'

'You know who I am, Harry.'

'Uh…let me think…'

'Three guesses.'

'Voldemort?'

'Wrong.'

'Snape?'

'Wrong.'

'Jack Bauer?'

'Uh, I think maybe you have made a visit to Hermione after all.'

'Who are you?'

'Okay, I'll give you three guesses. You've seen me before.'

'Okay, so that means…I've seen you before.'

'You saw me last night.'

'Ginny?'

'No, don't be stupid. Here's another clue: I'm responsible for last night's death.'

'Eddie Maguire?'

'NO HARRY, I AM THE PHILOSOPHER.' Suddenly a figure stepped out of the shadows. Harry turned around for about the seventh time, and saw the Philosopher.

'*Gasp* It's you!'

'Jeez, wait until after I tell you who I am, and I step out of the shadows to gasp in surprise why don't you.'

'You – you – you know that – that we know – that - ?'

'Yes,' said the Philosopher. 'And because of that, you will pay.' He put his hand underneath one of the tables, and revealed the severed head of a teddy bear.

Harry gasped even harder.

'Whoops, wrong one.' The Philosopher reached under the table and pulled out to severed head. Of Severus Snape. 'This guy was one of your close friends, right?'

'Uh…yeah…sure…' said Harry.

'Not anymore,' said the Philosopher. 'And you're next.'

'Yeah – well – I – I don't believe you,' said Harry, though he didn't look like he didn't believe.

'Oh yeah?' The Philosopher pulled out a gun, pointed it at Harry, and cocked it. 'Time to say goodbye to Mister Teddy Bear.'

TO BE CONTINUED…

AS ALWAYS…