Author's Notes:- Thanks to Stonedtoad as always.
Hope you like it.
All comments are welcome.
Sleepless Nights: Children Of The Gods
She can't be gone.
She just can't be.
I can't get it out of my mind. Her eyes glowing as she didn't even recognise me. That wasn't my wife, that wasn't the woman I know and love. That was something else, a parasite holding her hostage.
Oh God I can't think about it but I can barely close my eyes without seeing it.
x
Jack says we'll find her.
I hope so.
I need her; my life is empty without her, I need her.
One year ago I had nothing after that stupid lecture and then came the Stargate and Jack and Abydos.
And Sha're.
x
When I met her we had nothing in common. We didn't even speak the same language but we still managed to communicate.
The first time I kissed her I knew I couldn't be anywhere but with her.
Then she died.
I refused to let that be the end and I did something if I could have thought about it then I would have wondered about my sanity but I couldn't lose her. Not after so short a time, not after I had fallen so in love with her I could barely think. So I risked my own life and took her to the Sarcophagus and brought her back the same way I had been brought back.
x
When Jack left and asked if I would be alright just looking at her smiling at me made me certain I would be. And I was.
The past year was so wonderful and the happiest I have ever been in my life. Suddenly it's gone.
I can still smell her sweet perfume and taste her from the kiss she gave me before I took Jack and the others to the cave.
If only I had followed my first instinct after that kiss and took her somewhere we could be alone I wouldn't be back here.
x
Earth.
I thought I would never see it again and would never have to be here ever again. Abydos became my home so quickly; there was something about it that made me feel like I belonged.
I have NEVER belonged anywhere before but I belonged there and now I am back on this 'alien' planet. I have left my home and I know I won't see it for at least a year, an Abydonian year at that. Even when I find Sha're we'll have to stay here.
x
There is no one here that I can even go and see. Nobody probably even noticed I'd gone that's why I stayed on Abydos because I had people who cared for me. I had a family; friends and I had someone who I love more than my own life.
Once again I'm sleeping on a friends spare bed, well lying here pretending to sleep. It's been a long time since I've slept alone and every so often I've almost fallen asleep, I reach out to hold her but she's not there. My wife is not lying next to me and I have no idea what I'm going to do without her.
Jack is letting me stay until I can find somewhere to stay permanently. I don't know what I would do without him around. We barely knew each other but he has taken me in and is basically helping me survive this.
I know he feels guilty about what has happened to Sha're and Skaara but he shouldn't. If it wasn't for him I would be running in circles without a clue.
Last night when we thought we could rescue them Jack gave me some beers and coupled with my worry that knocked me out.
But now I can't sleep, all I can see is those beautiful eyes I have gazed into so often glow and stare at me cold and hard.
