Author's Notes:- Thanks to Stonedtoad as always.

Hope you like it.

All comments are welcome.


Sleepless Nights: Children Of The Gods

She can't be gone.

She just can't be.

I can't get it out of my mind. Her eyes glowing as she didn't even recognise me. That wasn't my wife, that wasn't the woman I know and love. That was something else, a parasite holding her hostage.

Oh God I can't think about it but I can barely close my eyes without seeing it.

x

Jack says we'll find her.

I hope so.

I need her; my life is empty without her, I need her.

One year ago I had nothing after that stupid lecture and then came the Stargate and Jack and Abydos.

And Sha're.

x

When I met her we had nothing in common. We didn't even speak the same language but we still managed to communicate.

The first time I kissed her I knew I couldn't be anywhere but with her.

Then she died.

I refused to let that be the end and I did something if I could have thought about it then I would have wondered about my sanity but I couldn't lose her. Not after so short a time, not after I had fallen so in love with her I could barely think. So I risked my own life and took her to the Sarcophagus and brought her back the same way I had been brought back.

x

When Jack left and asked if I would be alright just looking at her smiling at me made me certain I would be. And I was.

The past year was so wonderful and the happiest I have ever been in my life. Suddenly it's gone.

I can still smell her sweet perfume and taste her from the kiss she gave me before I took Jack and the others to the cave.

If only I had followed my first instinct after that kiss and took her somewhere we could be alone I wouldn't be back here.

x

Earth.

I thought I would never see it again and would never have to be here ever again. Abydos became my home so quickly; there was something about it that made me feel like I belonged.

I have NEVER belonged anywhere before but I belonged there and now I am back on this 'alien' planet. I have left my home and I know I won't see it for at least a year, an Abydonian year at that. Even when I find Sha're we'll have to stay here.

x

There is no one here that I can even go and see. Nobody probably even noticed I'd gone that's why I stayed on Abydos because I had people who cared for me. I had a family; friends and I had someone who I love more than my own life.

Once again I'm sleeping on a friends spare bed, well lying here pretending to sleep. It's been a long time since I've slept alone and every so often I've almost fallen asleep, I reach out to hold her but she's not there. My wife is not lying next to me and I have no idea what I'm going to do without her.

Jack is letting me stay until I can find somewhere to stay permanently. I don't know what I would do without him around. We barely knew each other but he has taken me in and is basically helping me survive this.

I know he feels guilty about what has happened to Sha're and Skaara but he shouldn't. If it wasn't for him I would be running in circles without a clue.

Last night when we thought we could rescue them Jack gave me some beers and coupled with my worry that knocked me out.

But now I can't sleep, all I can see is those beautiful eyes I have gazed into so often glow and stare at me cold and hard.