Author's Notes:- Thanks To Stonedtoad for betaing.


Sleepless Nights: Thor's Hammer

It's strange.

I don't know how I feel, though nothing is really new about that. I seem to live on a merry-go-round of bizarre emotions these days.

I destroyed the first chance we've found to save Sha're. I aimed the staff weapon and blasted it. And for what?

For Teal'c.

The man who chose her, who stood and watched as that thing was put into the woman I love. It was the FIRST thing we've found that could free her, could free Skaara too and Jack handed me the staff. At first I stared at him unsure why he was making me do it but now I know why.

It had to be me. Jack knew that if it had been either him or Sam I probably would've hated them and it would have eaten away at me.

x

"You're part of this family now."

Jack's words float through the cool night air as I sit on the couch unable to sleep. I'm once more staying with him. I do have an apartment now though it's full of boxes and pretty much a death trap to try and walk through. I'm pretty sure Jack just didn't want to leave me to brood all night.

Family.

My family is Skaara, Kasuf and Sha're, has been for just over a year. Yet now I find that I am part of something else. For the first time in my life I'm actually connecting with a group of people completely different from me and I have no idea how to handle it.

I remember looking at Teal'c and seeing he was ready to stay there, ready to live there as long as it took for me to find my wife and bring her there to free her. That's when I made the decision and I blasted the Hammer.

Teal'c would do anything to get Sha're back for me and the knowledge of that makes me hopeful.

x

The one thing I did manage to bring back with me from Cimmeria is the knowledge that the host does survive.

Somewhere inside her body Sha're's brilliant mind and gentle soul is still there waiting for me to save her.

And I will.

I have to.